Riya- More Dobby than Durga -_- - Page 2

@sana21

Hehe :) thank you again and you and others are most welcome to agree or refute my opinions to your hearts' content. If we all agreed with each other it would be a bore-fest. I myself love to see differing opinions and how people can even put a different slant on something you agree with. It just makes you think differently, right? Just like I said, I agree with all of what you've said so far but you've put a different slant on it, even reminding me of specifics that happened that I completely forgot about. I know its just a silly show, but the conversations and posts are interesting. Food for thought :)

I think youre right- even though I don't think Shivam really understands the basics of love- he certainly shows waaay more FAVOUR with his sisters and mum over Riya. I mean how can I call it love? I don't know what the hell to call it anymore- if he cared about their happiness and if his heart broke everytime they were all being insulted by shanti, then why oh why didn't he DO something about it?? Its not like he didn't have the means or the know-how. People make a decision and move out all the time. Lets say it got to that- Khushia probably would have balked at him, outright refusing to leave Raghav and Shanti. Not probably- definitely; she worships her husband more than her children, we know this. So what about Preeti and Nimmi? Preeti wouldn't have the guts and Nimmi would probably be more than willing to leave and would find a way to convince Preeti. Except they would be afraid to leave Khushia behind in her self-imposed torture. If something horrendous were about to happen- lets say shanti getting ready to marry the girls off to decrepit old widowers- then they could probably be convinced to leave with Shivam and start a new life. Nimmi and Preeti would both work as would Shivam- three incomes coming in for three people- MORE than enough, given that the entire shanti sadan was living with three incomes. It was possible- it could have been done. Shivam just needed to be brave enough to break away. His father didn't respect him, going so far as to suspect him thieving from his own daddi. His mother is wishy-washy, neither here nor there when it comes to prioritising her children. I say if he gave a damn about his sisters and their future he would have got them out of there, but the family honour was more important to him. Family honour seems to trump literally everything- even the stuff in life worth living for. To me there couldn't be anything less important- honour is such an objective thing. Its definition changes from person to person, never mind generation to generation. You will never be able to bend back far enough to please and accommodate everybody's concept of what constitutes "honour/reputation". Not only that- it changes with the times. You could break your back keeping the "honour" intact and you would STILL be insulting someone somewhere. So where do you cross the line? Mind you, Im not talking about breaking laws etc. Im talking about things like divorce and re-marrying and women going to work or having a boyfriend. None of those things are breaking the law- but for some reason they are so entwined with this "honour" business. It keeps everyone living in a time that was over a century ago. And then to make matters worse, people entangle this idea of honour further by including religious dogma in the mix! Where does it end? How far are you willing to be utterly, all consumingly miserable to keep this arbitrary honour intact? And why do people like your parents and elders think its ok to impose it on others? Why BOTHER evolving as a race at all then? Why bother with anything new anymore? We should just keep living under rocks for the next five centuries without EVER questioning anything. Come on.

And so... Shivam is keeping honour alive and kicking. But underlying all of that is his cowardice. People can hide behind religion and honour and acceptance and call it dignified, even in the face of evil going on right under their nose. But its not dignified, its cowardly and backboneless. When something is OBVIOUSLY wrong, you DO something about it. You make a stand, not sit in your corner and hide behind keeping honour alive. His mother and sisters were suffering and yet he was more interested in being the "good son" to his father- a father who ignored his own daughters. How many times did we see Raghav in the early days just dismiss them outright and giving FULL rights to shanti to do with them as she pleased? What did you have kids for then mate?? Why? Because it was honourable, blah blah blaaah... that's what people do right? Fit in with the norm and spout kids out when you have no intention of raising them yourself. Whatever.

As you showed detailed examples sana21, there is a gross bias in this show. Everywhere you look in-laws are ill treated. Pari (but she well deserves it and worse), Nimmi, Riya, Ashok, Nandu... every single one of them has been insulted and demeaned. Don't know what the writers are trying to say? That new members of the family are just not welcome- and woe betide to you if you happen to think differently than the status quo- then you'll REALLY be spat upon. Why bother marrying anyone lol just order some house servants to do your bidding. Oh but of course you need to propagate the next generation right? So like I said, anyone new in the family is just there to provide babies and be a slave- should have zero opinions for themselves. Basically, they shouldn't be human.

They have problem when bahu opens her mouth and gives her suggestion, especially Shivam who has so often asked RIya to shut up, but has no problem to take away her hard earned money. Yeah, good point. Ive said the same before as have many others when it had just happened. But its not surprising when you consider their backwards mentality. They take, they don't give or even be fair. Riya is just a pretty face to make pretty babies and to line their pockets- for all they know she doesn't have feelings, thoughts, or needs. But of course, they will maintain their izzat, their reputation by showing the world how good they are on the outside. Never mind the maggots crawling underneath that polished exterior. As you said *sigh* the entire Srivastav family are regressive and backwards- what else can we expect after that? Nimmi has moments of strength, but even she is a nasty bit of fluff still blaming Riya for her own stupid choice to marry Vyom. YES she was trying to maintain the ""izzat" of her parents and family- well, stop bloody whining about it then and sit and eat your cake. You chose to marry him- Riya wasn't holding your hand and forcing you- you made a decision, so buck up and deal with it. Don't go throwing the weight of your own stupidity about on other people's shoulders. Shoulder your own decisions, for better or worse. Same to Preeti- but THAT'S so blatantly obvious its not even worth talking about. We all know she was the one at fault, entirely. The only mistake Riya made was not opening her gob and doing some damage control. Other than that it was 98% Preeti and 2% Nimmi for going through with the wedding.

like this one episode where Shivam is about to take tea for riya, and kaushalya rebukes him for doing so. Yeah that really peed me off too. It irritated me to no end. No wonder he is so bloody useless lol! Hes not even "allowed" to make tea for someone haha what kind of man is he that he even let his mum rebuke him for making his wife tea? Forget Khushia- shes brainless, backwards and living in the stone age with shanti. But Shivam? He knows Riya works- he knows what she does because he does it too, she is JUST as tired as he is when she comes home and yet she has to do the house chores. What? He couldn't say to his mum that "I know this is how you and dad have done things. But Riya must be exhausted, she has been working all day and I know what its like. She will have to do the housework in a while, I want to make her some tea before she does" So was that so difficult? Eh. No, apparently mother knows best in all things- even against his own better judgement and conscience. Such a loser.

Forget love, what about sensitivity towards another human being. THANK YOU!! That's the first time Ive come across someone saying this. Never mind love lol you wouldn't treat your pet dog like this. Constantly shouting at her, constantly demanding from her, constantly asking her to forgive and forget (Nimmi with sari incident and SO many others), constantly asking her to change her entire personality and who she is for them, constantly making her feel guilty for every little thing, constantly pointing the finger at her when something goes wrong. There is just no reprieve! You WOULDN'T treat another human being like this, let alone someone you claim to love. What a joke.

In this new episode, Riya calls Bunty crying that sarla brought a new gal for shivam to get married to, and Shivam is nearby hearing to bunty's phone convo, he literally gets angry when Bunty says to Riya that why do u care who shivam is marrying, he aint worried abt u and u crying for him. I was like why in the hell's name are you getting angry Shivam,when what Bunty said is facts only. You simply don't care about Riya. I wish Bunty puts some sense into RIya and drags her out of that hellhole. I had higher hopes for Bunty- I thought maybe she would be a "stronger" voice of reason. Don't get me wrong, I know shes trying her best with a stubborn and short sighted Riya- but she has kind of encouraged Riya's behaviour by going along with the plan. I know she wants to support her and not want her to feel alone, but enough is enough- and THAT happened a while ago. Even in yesterdays episode I think, Bunty was visiting Riya at shanti sadan and Riya was like "well THIS is the plan, I have nothing left but to live on their floor and wriggle my way into their hearts" and after a little grumbling Bunty gave in and said yeah, I suppose so. Im like WHAT? Ugh. Shes enabling her to a degree, its so depressing to watch these women who work and earn a living, who are modern and educated and know the world outside the four walls of their house now stoop to tricking a family into accepting her. Surely there is more for her to look forward to in life than this? What a waste of her dad's efforts to raise her and to think progressively. So I go back to the original title of this thread- Riya is the one here with the responsibility of sorting her life out. You cant change Shivam or his family, they are stuck in their ways. Riya has the ability to adapt- to a point. If she can adapt into this idiotic new persona then she can adapt back to her old self before she had the misfortune of falling for this jerk. But she wont- because her character is completely and utterly illogical. A woman like her wouldn't stoop herself this low in real life, by now she would have given them the finger and walked off into the sunset by her damned self. Who needs them? So I have to conclude that she is seriously lacking is self esteem and self confidance. You cant be that needy and desperate for the ""love"" or attention of a ""man"" such as he and also be a self assured and confident person. The two don't and cant mix. See? Illogical. Does not reflect real feelings or people and yet here we all are driving ourselves mad trying to figure her out