Wife's Emotional Affair and what to do

Some background:

Back in 2015, wife and I went to India for her sister's wedding. Before she left we were going through a difficult time. She went there 2 weeks before I did. When I got there, I felt completely invisible. I know its her sisters wedding but I found myself lost in the crowd. Here's what really added to the frustration. At night (were staying at her parents place) she would be in the other room talking/texting with a friend. Later I would find out it was a male friend from her High School days. She told me when I asked her about it when we got back to the US. She was deleting his messages back then, and when I asked she said it was just a male friend from school days. Guess she felt it was "cool" with me, because she talked with him in front of me at night, and she did disclose that her friend had a crush on her. I think she did to, but won't admit it. Well almost within in a year, she joined her high school group (which I thought was cool), but she was also txting him on Whatsapp privately. But she was also deleting the txts as they came in. I didnt think about it then, but I realized now, she was talking with him at night, between hours of 9 to 12, sometimes later. And sometimes throughout the day. Well when its our day, it's his night. And he's married to. So he should be in bed with his wife, and she should to. This went on for a while. But in 2016 we bought our first home, and things changed for "better". We still had a our typical marriage arguments, some got ugly, but would always move forward. Back in 2021 she was in process of getting her medical license and required some documents back in India. She reached out to him (which I knew), and he assisted her. So they got back to talking on and off. I can't say for sure they were texting. Anyways in March 2023. I encouraged her to go see her Grandma, and meetup with her old friends. So her male friend was available to her all the time. To drive her around. Now her brother was with them as well. So I have doubts it got physical. But can't say for sure. When she got back, I notice her chat (whatsapp) history with him was always being deleted. I confronted her again, and she said admits she shouldnt have done that. She didnt apologize but casually accepted wrong doing but like it wasn't a big deal. We had talks about this for about a month. But never making any progress. But all the while she would turn the argument around to make it seem I'm the one to blame. Things like I dont compliment on how she looks when she gets dressed up, or dont know as well as I should (like her favorite food/sweets). Turned the guilt on like she's done everything in this marriage. But when I bring up the point about why did she delete the texts, she'd get upset and say "You keep bringing that up again".

During this time, I did a self exploration as to what is going on. How much is my fault and how much hers. I realized, when she goes to India, she becomes her true happy self. Her ultimate comfort zone. Because she's never happy like that around me. I told her in the beginning of our marriage, that being in the US you'll have to adapt to the culture, at least not for me but our kids. In my opinion she does just enough to get by. So I wonder, why marry a guy from the US if your heart is always back home.

When she's texting her classmate (at odd hours and at long periods at a time), I wondered what things could they be talking about. Whats got her so interested that she cant repeat this daily. I feel she is bored with me, because all we talk about is the typical marriage stuff (kids daily life, finance, schedules, etc.) But we dont have anything else to talk about. And the ultimate kicker, we're not really friends either, just a support spouses for each other at this point.

Now I'm not saying I'm perfect, I take blame for the struggles and arguments in our marriage, so not saying she's a complete cheater. But she won't accept or admit that what she's doing is called an emotional affair.