ATTENTION....only females!

dear friends,

just incase you have not come across the rules....

extremely important advice and recommendations to passed to wives,girlfriends,fiance's,mothers,sisters,daughters etc,(all women of this world....)

these rules are to be communicated prior to the world cup in june/july this year....

list of rules....

1-from 9 june to july 2006,you should read the sports section of the newspaper so that you are aware of what is going on regarding world cup,and that you will be able to join in the conversations.if you fail to do this,then you will be looked in a bad way or you will be totally ignored...DONT COMPLAIN about not receiving any attention!

2- during the world cup....the television is mine,at all time without any exceptions.if you even take a glimpse of the remote control you will loose it...(your eye)

3- if you have to pass by infront of the TV,during a game,i dont mind as long as you crawling on the floor and without distracting me.

4- during the game,i will be blind,deaf,mute,unless i require to refill my drink or something to eat.You are out of your mind if you expect me to listen to you,open the door,answer the telephone,pick up the baby that just fell down....it wont happen....

5-please dnt make funny faces for my friends when they come over to watch the game....in return,you will be able to use TV,between,12 am-6am,unless they replay a good game that i missed during the day...

6- please,please,please!....if you see me upset bcoz my team is loosing,DONT SAY,"GET OVER IT...ITS ONLY GAME!"...or..,"THEY WILL WIN NEXT TIME".....if you say this,you will make me angrier and i will love you less.remember,you will never know more about football than me and your so called,"WORDS OF ENCOURAGEMENT"....THIS WILL ONLY LEAD TO DIVORCE!

7- you are welcome to sit with me,to watch one game and you can talk to me during half time but only when commercials are on, and only if the halftime score is pleasing me.in addition,please note,im saying ONE game hence dont use the world cup as nice as cheesy excuse to spend time together.....

8- the replays of the goals are verry important.i dont care if i have seen them or not,all i want to see them again in many times....

9- tell your friends NOT TO HAVE ANY BABIES,or any other child related parties or gathering that require my attendance because,

@-I WILL NOT GO,

B) I WILL NOT GO,

C) I WILL NOT GO...

10- BUT....if a friend of mine invites us to his house on sunday to watch a game,we will be there in a flash!

11- the daily world cup highlights show on TV, every night is just important as the games themselves...dont even think about saying,"you have already watch this,please change the channel"....the reply will be: REFER TO RULE # 2....

12: And finally,please save your expression such as,"THANK GOD...THE WORLD CUP IS ONLY ONCE IN EVERY 4 YEARS".......im immune in these words,because after this comes the champion league,italian league,spanish league etc etc etc.......

thank you for your cooperation......

REGARDS,

MEN OF THE WORLD!