Chapter3: Reverence
“Marry me” the words chimed in her head like sweet music as she swept her hair on one side to get dressed for the long but beautiful day ahead. Her days had never been sweeter before, the feeling of love overpowering everything else on her mind. The mere thought of him sends her heart in a frenzy while the lips curve upwards on their own accord, while a crimson never fails to mark her cheeks which he loves to kiss softly. Everything about him feels like a prayer answered by God without having to kneel before Him. Indeed, God hears unspoken words!
The engagement ceremony was going to be an intimate one, with only the closest family members and dear friends. Pallavi called for her brother and sister in law, her Aayi, Krishna and Nikhil, for they had been the only support she had in these difficult years. Farhad was the best man of Raghav, a slight departure from Indian customs, mused Raghav. If his Amma were here, she would have definitely laughed at the phrase “Best man” for she would have obviously preferred to see Farhad as his brother. The thought of Amma makes him tear up slightly, hoping against hope that things would have been different.
“Anna” spoke Farhad, bringing Raghav back to the event.
“Yes? Do you have the ring?” asked Raghav quickly.
“Yes I do, but there is something that needs your immediate attention, I am unable to handle it right now” spoke Farhad nervously.
“Now? Farhad, I am getting engaged in one hour. You want me to handle business matters now?!” an irritated Raghav spoke with urgency.
“Sorry Anna, it will just take a few minutes, please follow me”, and with that, Farhad led Raghav to the guest room of the holiday home they had hired for the engagement ceremony as well as the wedding. Opening the door, Farhad led him into the vast room.
“Wait here Anna, I’ll be back”, and just like that, he walked away like a man in urgent need of some air.
“Farhad…!” whispered Raghav, not daring to scream, for Pallavi must be getting dressed in one of these rooms, though he was highly annoyed at this inconvenience. Business could have waited, but Farhad can’t stop thinking of work! Raghav made a mental note to get his best friend a decent love life. Thinking of love, Raghav broke into a smile, for the mere thought of love brought her face to his vision. Lost in her thoughts, he did not take note of an elderly figure walking into the room.
“Raghav?” came her voice from the depths of her heart.
He turned to the source of this familiar sound, a sound he could even recognize in his wildest nightmares, for it belongs to the first woman he had ever loved.
“Amma!!” exclaimed Raghav, rushing toward her like a river finding the ocean, urgently hugging her, lest this was a dream. Amma initially hesitated to hug him back but a mothers love cannot be contained for a long period, the dam is sure to burst as soon as her child falls into her arms, and when the child is an estranged one, the love is tenfold regardless of the pain and guilt of separation. She tightly hugged her first born, her favorite child as tears streamed down their faces, relinquishing all the pain caused by the unbecoming separation. Raghav could not contain his happiness and as he continued crying, Pallavi walked into the room and stood by him, slightly tapping at his shoulders, speaking his name in her calm and sweet voice. Raghav realized that he had been hugging his mother for the longest time and broke the hug upon hearing her voice. Both mother and son wiped their tears and turned to look at Pallavi who stood there with a smile gracing her face and tears washing over her like waves of relief and happiness.
Raghav immediately understood that this was indeed her doing. If there was one person who held in her heart the capacity to forgive and love, it was this beautiful and kind woman standing beside him.
He looked into her eyes intently as Amma spoke of how Pallavi convinced her to let bygones be and turn over a new leaf. All the while, Raghav continued to look at her in a new found sense of worship. Amma noted the silence between these two beautiful lovers and gently excused herself, saying that once the ceremony is done, they will have a night full of talking. Raghav kissed his Amma’s forehead as she left the room and then slowly turned to Pallavi.
There’s no way to ever say this,
There are no words to my feelings,
Let silence be my messenger,
You reside in the soul of my soul,
A silent prayer I sent to God,
Unknowingly; a beautiful secret,
And then, God whispered in my ears,
Revere her.
Moments of silence passed in gazing at each other in what seemed to be a quest to search for themselves in their lovers’ eyes. Then Raghav extended his arms to gently hold her by the shoulders.
And then, God whispered in my ears,
Revere her.
He took in the sight of her smiling face, closed his eyes and bent his head in reverence, complete surrender of oneself, worshipping the love that resides in his heart for her. Tears of gratitude streamed through his face, like an outpour that awaited a gateway of release. Pallavi extended her soft palms to cup his cheek and urged him to look at her, while he shook his head in a no. She gently led him to a nearby chair, while she sat on the floor next to the chair on his refusal to raise his face, taking in his large palms into her tiny ones, gently caressing his hands with her soft thumb. Raghav opened his eyes and took in the sight of her kindness while getting her to sit on his lap.
Arms around each other,
His head buried in the crook of her neck,
Her hands running through his hair,
Soft caresses and gentle kisses,
Warm tears and moist lips,
Love rising and dancing,
Of oblation and reverence.
The ring ceremony passed like a fleeting moment and while the guests resigned to their rooms, Raghav followed Pallavi into her room and latched the door, whiles he stood in amusement at his uncontained urgency to hold and kiss her. It seemed to her that he was a man just discovering the beauty of life, finally unburdened from the ghosts of his past. It seemed to her that he finally looked his age, a young man, with dreams of a beautiful future, desire and passion. Love came to them as a saving grace to their otherwise wasting lives, breathing in hope of happiness.
“Stop”, she said, breaking for some breath, “We have a wedding tomorrow, you’ll have to wait”, she chided him, in between her erratic breathing.
“I can wait for an eternity for you”, he whispered earnestly, his warm breath fanning her flustered face. Her love for him found new depths in his surrendered self, if it were even possible to dwell any deeper.
Breaking away from his hold, she walked to the dresser and showed him her wedding attire. Her mothers saree, a simple red with narrow golden borders. Adjacent to the saree was a tiny box of jewelry containing her mothers gold jhumkas, her pendant, her waist band and simple anklets gifted by Aayi along with the family heritage bangles gifted by Raghav's amma.
“I am wearing my mothers’ saree tomorrow along with all her jewelry”, she spoke, her sad tone not going unnoticed by Raghav as she ran her soft fingers through the borders and jewelry, wishing that her parents were here to bid her farewell, this time to the only man she ever loved.
“Your mother will always be with you and I’ve never seen a more beautiful wedding attire than this”, he assured, giving her a side hug, speaking each word in earnest. She gave him a sad smile, but thankful to have him in her life, for no other man would ever respect her simplicity as he did.
“How do you want me to dress up? Telugu style or Marathi?” her eyes sparkling with a childlike innocence at the question.
“Hmm…Let’s see. I want you to dress up like my bride”, he spoke after giving it a long thought.
“And how is that?” she raised her eyebrows, slightly mischievously.
Raghav took the cue and pulled her close to him, whispering his idea of his bride, earning him a bright crimson on her cheeks, oh! how he loved to see her flustered.
“And with hair open or closed?” she spoke in shallow breaths.
“Closed…..so that I can open it later”, he whispered and winked at her, earning alight slap at his arm, as she broke free of his hold.
“You need to go and speak to Amma, she’s waiting for you. Goodnight, Raghav!” she laughed, leading him out of the room before he decided to take up more of the night meant for a good rest.
“Goodnight…..I will not be able to sleep, Pallavi”, he confessed as he kissed her forehead before she closed the door.
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We’ve walked through this fire,
Setting ablaze our hearts,
Burning in the pitch darkness,
Without soul,
Come, hold my hand,
Let’s walk around this fire,
You and I,
A perfect union of souls,
Not until death does us apart,
But, For eternity!
She closes her eyes momentarily after taking in the image of her clad in red, while her fingers trace her parting. Her heart is sent in a frenzy as she recalls him filling her parting with his love. This was not the first time she was getting married but everything about it had a newness in it which she had never experienced before. She quickly places her hand over her rapidly beating heart, feeling nothing else but his erratic heartbeats. Everything about her seems foreign to her ever since his love washed over her, transporting her to an unseen realm of dreams and desire, drowning all her fears and insecurities in the vastness of his oceanic heart. Her heart calms down as she imagines him in an unabashed abandon, making love to her soul, exploring the deepest and darkest corners of her heart, with a promise to never stop. Desire to be one with him makes her squirm and while her eyes are still closed, she feels him walk up to her stealthily , taking her into his arms.
“Open your eyes”, he whispers in her ears.
“Not yet”, she responds almost immediately, while she lets her head rest on his shoulders. Raghav tightens his hold over her, careful not to hurt her in the slightest.
“Are you nervous?” he asks gently, knowing that she has never let any other man into her personal space regardless of being married before. The thought of her miseries and troubles always resided in the back of his mind. Pity was a foreign feeling for him, he would never disparage their love with this word. Everything about her feels like a prayer answered by God without having to kneel before Him. Indeed, God hears unspoken words!
“No” she spoke after a few moments, softly but firmly, slowly opening her eyes to the most beautiful image she’d ever seen. They both look at each other in the mirror, as husband and wife, but most importantly, as lovers. If life were to end this day, they would have no regrets. Love is destiny, and they've just arrived, hand in hand.
I no longer recognize myself,
Who is this I see in the mirror?
My eyes speak of your love,
My lips whisper your name,
I no longer see myself,
Who am I, if not you?
I say, I am you.
Coming up
Next - Chapter4: This maddening love, your dark sweetness.
Last chapter - Chapter 5: Memento Mori.
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Hello lovely people,
First of all, sorry for taking almost a month to update this. I had a huge writers block and was not keeping well But now I'm back and I hope you enjoy reading this peace. I enjoyed thinking about it and eventually writing it.
The next chapter - I am working on it already, this time I do hope to update within the week as I'm not too busy at work these days (phew)!
I will be tagging all previous readers. I've spent 5 hours thinking and writing, padh lo, please? 😃
Thank you ❤️
Best wishes,
Kiara.
Edited by Viewpoint - 3 years ago
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