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That was my first night in the potter's hut " with my husbands, with my mother-in-law. Only one room. My five husbands lay down on beds of grass and went to sleep one after another. Mother-in-law went to sleep at the upper portion of the bed, touching her sons' heads. My bed was at my husbands' feet. Making a cushion of my body of five elements, all ten feet would be placed on it. This would be my appropriate dharma as a woman!
With bowed head I was thinking " till now my marriage had not been completed according to the prescribed rites. Therefore my place was at the mother's feet. I spent all night pressing her feet. I did not know in what grief my tears kept flowing, wetting the earthen floor of the hut. Some drops fell on the mother's feet as I was pressing them. She was not startled. She had known for quite some time that I was weeping. She whispered, "I know your grief. At one time I, too, choosing your father-in-law in svayamvar, had dreamt of happiness. But there was a curse on him. Even this did not grieve me. I never blamed fate for frustrating my motherhood. Concentrating on serving my husband, I kept him happy. But for preserving the dynasty, for safeguarding the kingdom, to produce suitable dynasts, at my husband's request I gave birth to sons obtained through various gods " Dharma, Vayu, Indra and the Ashvinikumars. Sometimes I had to face ridicule and scorn on this account. I bore it all. I have not committed any sin, I have practised virtue " this is how I have kept consoling myself. For what I did was necessary for the welfare of the world. The situation you are in today is necessary for the preservation of dharma on earth. Therefore, consider yourself as having earned merit. How many are fortunate enough to be fated to sacrifice themselves for the welfare of the world?" Suddenly it seemed that Mother had knowingly, deliberately placed me in this predicament. Even though she had had sons through different gods at her husband's request, Mother's own conscience must at times have been weighed down with a sense of sin, shame and hesitation. She would have felt guilty. Perhaps even at such times she would have become the target of scorn and ridicule. In case the mother was shamed before her daughter-in-law and looked small, she had deliberately compelled the daughter-in-law to accept five husbands. For getting children she had slept with different men. Was this conspiracy hatched in case the daughter-in-law, coming to know of this, taunted or looked down on her? Or was it that for subjugating the hundred sons of her elder sister-in-law, Gandhari, and giving the throne to her own sons, it was essential for them to remain one in heart and soul and, therefore, she cast her daughter-in-law into this terrible predicament? In any case, this could not have come about suddenly. Thinking thus, my mind gave way.
Pratibha Ray ( ). Yajnaseni: The Story of Draupadi (Kindle Locations 957-960). . Kindle Edition.
Shiv Shakti
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