RiMa SS - Go Goa Gone !! Updated 5th part on page 23 - 21/9/2015

Pani.Puri thumbnail
10th Anniversary Thumbnail Sparkler Thumbnail Networker 1 Thumbnail
Posted: 10 years ago
#1

RiMa SS - Go Goa Gone !!




PROLOUGE


Madhu & Mukkund's dad has shifted to Dark Silence , Goa to live with his family but the place where they are residing in Goa is full of shocks and surprises . A very quiet and a silent place just like its name . Madhu meets several people of her age including one handsome boy RK and fells in love with him .

But what will happen when both brother-sister will come across some shocking truths of Dark Silence ??

How will Madhu & Mukkund's parents come to know about this place's secret ??

After coming to know the truth Will they Die or Will they leave Goa ?????

.


P.S. - This SS is loosely based on the movie Go Goa Gone and also infact MOSTLY based on one of the short horror story whose name and neither the author's name I am gonna disclose else it will kill all the suspense element . So the theme of this SS is from this movie as well as this horror story .



P.P.S - The 1st chappy is being posted below and after receiving likes and comments on this 1st chappy I will PM the second chappy and all other chappy's directly to you in your Inbox .

YES , from second chappy onwards the story will be given directly in your Inbox . You guys don't need to send me a buddy request . Based on Your Likes & Comments I myself will PM you the second and the rest part of the story and this is my assurity to you .

This I am doing is because of the responses and encouragement I get on my stories . So if you like and comment , then the next part of the story will be sent to you in your inbox .

I may sound rude and selfish about this but then if you guys can't encourage a writer then even I don't do charity work by posting it for everyone 😈😈






INDEX

PART 1 - Page 1

PART 2 - Page 6

PART 3 - Page 12

PART 4 - Page 17

PART 5 - Page 23

Edited by BurnThemAll - 9 years ago

Created

Last reply

Replies

181

Views

8k

Users

29

Likes

228

Frequent Posters

Pani.Puri thumbnail
10th Anniversary Thumbnail Sparkler Thumbnail Networker 1 Thumbnail
Posted: 10 years ago
#2

PART 1


Mukkund and I hated our new house. Sure, it was big. It looked like a mansion compared to our old house. It was a tall house with a sloping black roof and rows of windows framed in french style. It's so dark, I thought, studying it from the main entry gate. The whole house was covered in darkness, as if it were hiding in the shadows of these huge , old banyan and oak trees that bent over it.
It was the middle of April, but the dead orange leaves covered the front yard. Our shoes crunched over them as we walked up the gravel driveway. Tall weeds poked up everywhere through the dead leaves. This house is creepy, I thought unhappily. Mukku must have been thinking the same thing. Looking up at the old house, we both groaned loudly.

Well my dad because of his government job gets transferred very often but from the past 6 years Mom made it sure that me & Mukku remained at the same place so that our studies don't get affected . We lived for the past 6 years in Bangalore but now because of staying away from dad wasn't acceptable to any of us so , here we are in Goa today .

Mr. Balraj Chaudhary, a friendly aged man of 40 years from the local real estate office, stopped near the front walk and turned around.

"Everything okay?" he asked, staring first at Mukku, then at me, with his dark black eyes .

"Mukkund & Madhu aren't happy about moving," Dad explained, closing the car door behind us .

"It's hard for kids," my mother added, smiling at Mr. Chaudhary, her hands carrying some of the documents of the house as she continued up to the front door. "You know. Leaving all of their friends behind. Moving to a strange new place."

"Strange is not right," Mukku said, shaking his head in negation. "This house is creepy and looking like a ghost house."

Mr. Balraj chuckled. "It's an old house, that's for sure," he said, patting Mukku on the shoulder.

"It just needs some work, Mukku," Dad said, smiling at Mr. Balraj . "No one has lived in it for a while, so it'll take some fixing up." Dad said this to cheer up my little brother .

"Look how big it is," Mom added, tucking back her straight black hair and smiling at my bro . "We'll have room for table tennis and maybe a theater room, too. You'd like that"wouldn't you, Madhu?"

I shrugged. A cold breeze made me shiver. It was actually a beautiful, hot summer day. But the closer we got to the house, the colder I felt. I guessed it was because of all the tall, old trees. I was wearing white denim jeans and a sleeveless blue top. It had been hot in the car. But now I was freezing. Maybe it'll be warmer in the house, I thought.

"How old are they?" Mr. Balraj asked Mom, stepping onto the front porch.

"Madhu is eighteen," Mom answered. "And Mukku turned seventeen 2 months back. Madhu has completed her school and is waiting for her boards result"

"They look so much alike," Mr. Chaudhary told Mom.

I couldn't decide if that was a compliment or not. I guess it's true. Mukku and I are both tall and thin and have straight black hair like Mom's, and dark brown eyes. Everyone says we have "serious" faces but we both don't agree with this statement .

"I really want to go home," Mukku said, his voice soft as whisper . "I hate this place."

My brother is the most impatient kid in the world. And when he makes up his mind about something, that's it. He's a little spoiled. At least, I think so. Whenever he makes a big fuss about something, he usually gets his way. We may look alike, but we're really not that similar. I'm a lot more patient than my brother is. A lot more sensible. Probably because I'm older and because I'm a girl.
Mukku had hold of Dad's hand and was trying to pull him back to the car. "Let's go.Come on, Dad. Let's go."

I knew this was one time Mukku wouldn't get his way. We were moving to this house. No doubt about it. After all, the house was absolutely free. A great-uncle of Dad's, a man we didn't even know, had died and left the house to Dad in his will.

I'll never forget the look on Dad's face when he had come to Bangalore to meet us after taking a weeks holiday and he got the letter from the lawyer. He let out a loud hooting and began dancing around the living room. Mukku and I thought he'd flipped or something.

"My Great-Uncle Bhujang has left us a house in his will," Dad explained, reading and rereading the letter. "It's in a town called Dark Silence in Goa ."

"Whattt?" Mukku and I asked . "Where's Dark Silence?" We both asked in unison because I have never ever heard such kind of place atleast in India .

"I don't remember your Uncle Bhujang," Mom said, moving behind Dad to read the letter over his shoulder.

"Neither do I," admitted Dad. "But he must've been a great guy! Wow! This sounds like an incredible house!" He grabbed Mom's hands and began dancing happily with her across the living room.

And now, a week later, here we were in Dark Silence , Goa , a 8 hour journey from Bangalore, seeing our new house for the first time. We hadn't even gone inside, and Mukku was trying to drag Dad back to the car.

"Mukkund"stop pulling me," Dad snapped impatiently, trying to tug his hand out of my bro's grasp. Well everyone at home called my brother Mukku but if he makes any one pissed off then everyone calls him Mukkund which he hates to be called . He never liked this name Mukkund and so we all started calling him Mukku . Dad glanced helplessly at Mr. Balraj. I could see that he was embarrassed by how Mukku was carrying on like an 8 year old kid . I decided maybe I could help.

"Lets go, Mukku," I said quietly, grabbing my bro by the shoulder. "We promised we'd give Goa a chance"remember?"

"I already gave it a chance," Mukku whined,not letting go of Dad's hand. "This house is old and creepy and I hate it."

"You haven't even gone inside," Dad said angrily.

"Yes. Let's go in," Mr. Chaudhary urged, staring at Mukku.

"I'm staying outside," Mukku insisted.

He can be really stubborn sometimes. I felt just as unhappy as Josh looking at this dark, old house. But I'd never carry on the way he was.He and I both glanced up to the second floor. There were two large bay windows side by side up there. They looked like two dark eyes staring back at us.

"How long have you lived in your present house?" Mr. Chaudhary asked Dad.

Dad had to think for a second. "About 6 years," he answered. "The kids have have made so many friends and memories there in Bangalore."

"Moving is always hard," Mr. Chaudhary said sympathetically, turning his gaze on me.

"You know, Madhu, I moved here to Dark Silence just a few months ago. I didn't like it much either, at first. But now I wouldn't live anywhere else." He said smiling at me.

All of us followed Mr. Chaudhary, except my asshole brother . "Are there other kids on this block?"Mukku asked. He made it sound more like a threat than a question.

Mr. Balraj nodded. "The school's just two blocks away," he said, pointing up the street.

"See?" Mom quickly cut in. "A short walk to school. No more long bus rides every
morning."

"I liked the bus," Mukkund insisted.

His mind was made up. He wasn't going to give my parents a break . I don't know what Mukku thought he had to gain by being such a pain in neck for shifting to Goa . I mean, Dad already had plenty to worry about. For one thing, he hadn't been able to sell our old house yet. I didn't like the idea of moving. But I knew that inheriting this big house was a great opportunity for us. We felt so suffocated in our little house at Bangalore. And once Dad managed to sell the old place, we wouldn't have to worry at all about money anymore. Mukku should at least give it a chance. That's what I thought. Suddenly, from our car at the foot of the driveway, we heard Tuffy barking and howling like a wolf and making a fuss.

Tuffy is our dog, a white, cute as a button, and usually well behaved. He never minded being left in the car. But now he was howling and snapping at such a high pitch making me go deaf and scratching at the car window, desperate to get out.

"Tuffy! Quiet!" I shouted. Tuffy usually listened to me. But not this time.

"I'm going to let him out!" Mukku declared, and took off down the driveway toward the car.

"No. Wait"" Dad called.

But I don't think Mukku could hear him over Tuffy's loud barks .

A few seconds later, Tuffy came running at a bullet speed towards us and to our surprise he started growling menacingly and barking at Mr.Balraj.

"Tuffy"stop!" Mom yelled.

"He's never done this," Dad said apologetically. He's usually very friendly."

"Stop it, Tuffy," Mukku scolded, holding the dog up close to his face so that they were nose-to-nose. "Mr. Chaudhary is our friend."

Soon Tuffy became quiet but he was still sniffing at Mr. Chaudhary as if he was some one else . Soon we three except my bro started to move inside the house to look how the house was from inside . I started to follow my parents into the house.

"I'll stay out here with Tuffy," Mukku insisted and he took Tuffy with him from there to the backyard of the house.

Mr. Chaudhary followed us into the hallway,gently closing the inner screen door behind him,giving Mukkund a final glance. "He'll be fine," he said softly, smiling at my Mom.

"He can be so stubborn sometimes," Mom said apologetically.

He took us on a tour of every room in the house. I was beginning to get excited. The house was really kind of neat. There were so many rooms and so many cabinets and cupboards. And my room was huge and had its own washroom . I wished Mukku had come inside with us. If he could see how great the house was inside, I knew he'd start to cheer up. We must have been inside for at least half an hour. I think all three of us were feeling cheered up.

"Well, I think I've shown you everything Mr. Malik," Mr. Chaudhary said, glancing at his watch. He led the way to the front door.

"Wait"I want to take one more look at my room," I told them excitedly. I started up the stairs, . "I'll be down in a second."

"Hurry, honey. I'm sure Mr. Chaudhary has other appointments," Mom called after me.

I reached the second-floor landing and hurried down the narrow hallway and into my new room. "Wow!" I said aloud, and the word echoed faintly against the empty walls. It was so big. And I loved the bay window with the window seat. I walked over to it and peered out. Through the trees, I could see our car in the driveway and, beyond it, a house that looked a lot like ours across the street. I was mentally making a note of things which needs to be kept in my room and at which place.I was heading to the door, when I saw a masculine fair looking boy. He stood in the doorway for just a second. And then he turned and disappeared down the hall.

"Mukku?" I cried. "Hey"come look!"

With a shock, I realized it wasn't Mukku . For one thing, the boy had silky shiny black hair.

"Hey!" I called and ran to the hallway,stopping just outside my bedroom door, looking both ways.

"Who's here?" But the long hall was empty. All of the doors were closed.

"Whoa, Madhu," I said aloud. Was I seeing things? Mom and Dad were calling from downstairs.I took one last look down the dark corridor,then hurried to rejoin them.

"Hey, Mr. Chaudhary," I called as I ran down the stairs, "is this house haunted?"

He chuckled. The question seemed to strike him funny. "No. Sorry," he said, looking at me with those dark black eyes. "No ghost included. A lot of old houses around here are said to be haunted. But I'm afraid this isn't one of them."

"I"I thought I saw something," I said, feeling a little foolish.

"Probably just shadows," Mom said. "With all the trees, this house is so dark."

"Why don't you run outside and tell Mukku about the house," Dad suggested, "Your Mom and I have some things to talk over with Mr. Chaudhary."

With this I went outside to call my little Brother but my heart sank. Mukku and Tuffy were gone.There was no sign of either of them. I ran down to the bottom of the driveway and peered into the car, but they weren't there.I headed up the driveway, kicking away dead leaves as I ran. It was sunny down on the street, but as soon as I entered our yard, I was back in the shade, and it was immediately cool again.

"Hey, Mukku ! "where are you?" Why did I feel so scared? It was perfectly natural for Mukku to wander off. He did it all the time. I ran full speed along the side of the house to look for Mukku .

"Well?" Out of breath, Dad came jogging up to me.

"No sign of him," I said, surprised at how worried I felt.

"Did you check the car?" He sounded more angry than worried.

"Yes. It's the first place I looked." I gave the backyard a last quick search. "I don't believe Mukku would just take off."

"I do," Dad said, rolling his eyes. "You know your brother when he doesn't get his way. Maybe he wants us to think he's run away from home." He frowned.

"Where is he?" Mom asked as we returned to the front of the house. Dad and I both shrugged.

"Maybe he made a friend and wandered off," Dad said.

He raised a hand and scratched his curly hair. I could tell that he was starting to worry, too.

"We've got to find him," Mom said, gazing down to the street. "He doesn't know this neighborhood at all. He probably wandered off and got lost."

"We will find him Mrs Malik . Don't get tensed up" said Mr . Balraj and with this we 3 went to Mr. Blaraj's car. Then he took out a hat and put it on his head.

"Hey"that's quite a hat," Dad said, climbing into the front passenger seat.

"Keeps the sun away," Mr. Balraj said, sliding behind the wheel and slamming the car door.

Mom and I got in back. Glancing over at Mr. Balraj's hat , I saw that Mom was as worried as I was. We headed down the block in silence, all four of us staring out the car windows. The houses we passed all seemed old and in better condition, nicely . I didn't see any people in the houses or yards, and there was no one on the street. It certainly is a quiet neighborhood, I thought. And shady. The houses all seemed to be surrounded by tall, leafy trees. Maybe that's why it's called Dark Silence, I thought.

"Where is that son of mine?" Dad asked, staring hard out the windshield.

"I'll kill him. I really will," Mom muttered. It wasn't the first time she had said that about Mukku.

My eyes searched the playground behind the school. It was empty. No one there.

"Could Mukku have walked this far?" Mom asked, her voice tight and higher than usual.

"Well he doesn't walk," Dad said, rolling his eyes. "He runs."

We turned a corner onto another shady block. A street sign read "Graveyard", and sure enough, a large graveyard rose up in front of us. Granite gravestones rolled along a low hill . A few shrubs dotted the cemetery, but there weren't many trees.

"There's your son." Mr. Balraj, pointing out the window, stopped the car suddenly.

"Oh, thank goodness!" Mom exclaimed, leaning down to see out the window on my side of the car. Sure enough, there was Mukku, running wildly along a white gravestones.

"What's he doing here?" I asked, pushing open my car door.I stepped down from the car, took a few steps onto the grass, and called to him. At first, he didn't react to my shouts. He seemed to be running through one of the graves.He would run in one direction, then head in another direction.Why was he doing that? I took another few steps"and then stopped, gripped with fear. I suddenly realized why he was darting and running so wildly through the tombstones. He was being chased.

Someone"or something"was after him.


Edited by BurnThemAll - 10 years ago
varshajoshi17 thumbnail
11th Anniversary Thumbnail Dazzler Thumbnail Networker 2 Thumbnail
Posted: 10 years ago
#3
Interesting concept
N u r not rude everybody needs appreciation so u r right at ur place
Pls post first chappy soon n pls cont ur other ff soon
madhurish thumbnail
11th Anniversary Thumbnail Sparkler Thumbnail + 4
Posted: 10 years ago
#4
Res... Will comment... Really late... Reason u know baby...
Unres...

Sorry baby for being really late...

Okay over to the update...

Interesting start...
The name "dark silence" is enough send shivers down my body...
Hehe... I couldnt see madhu & mukkund but u & ur bro in that place though i havent seen ur brother but the description more or less sounded like ur annoying bro... Sorry ... I m not sure whether ur bro is annoying but heard he irritates u a lot from u... & he is younger to u like madhu & mukku... So i m seeing u two in place of them... Lol...
What? Madhu saw a boy? Okau i know its rk... Lol... Bcos i m commenting after reading all the three chappy so no suspense... But what he was doing in their house?
& mukku chased their dog truffy & ended in a grave yard? Oh god... I feel all r dead people surrounding them i guess... Are they zombies?? Or vampires?? Or werewolves?? I m intrigued...
So both the kids didnt like the house... I guess balraj knows everything abt the house as he behaved strangely when madhu asked if the house is haunted? Even he might be one among them... Or he is hiding someting...
I have been to goa but never knew such scary places r there... Tell this dark silence is in north goa or south goa?? Lol... Well.. I m not going to go to that place knowing it... Lol... Just asking simply... Lol...
I wish i get to experience such situation...
So u got inspired from the movie go gone goa movie & a show to write this story? Is that show goose bumps?? Well i m really loving this story...
U r writing greatly maintaining the suspense so well & it feels like i m watching a horror series...
Good job baby... Thanks for the pm...
Edited by madhurish - 10 years ago
candle_light thumbnail
11th Anniversary Thumbnail Voyager Thumbnail Networker 1 Thumbnail
Posted: 10 years ago
#5
wow it was full of suspence & thriller filled update i like it very much !!
plz cont soon 😊
varshajoshi17 thumbnail
11th Anniversary Thumbnail Dazzler Thumbnail Networker 2 Thumbnail
Posted: 10 years ago
#6
Superb start its scary
Who is behind mukku
chitraP thumbnail
Posted: 10 years ago
#7
It's very thriller story I like it
ratna232 thumbnail
11th Anniversary Thumbnail Explorer Thumbnail
Posted: 10 years ago
#8
Wow, what a scary start.
Y Every haunted story happens in an old house.
Who is behind Mukund?😲
I think balraj knows everything.
u wrote it well.
usually, I won't watch or read horror films.But I don't want to miss ur story.
continue soon.

vivian.drashti thumbnail
11th Anniversary Thumbnail Engager Level 1 Thumbnail + 2
Posted: 10 years ago
#9
Nice update...waiting for next part update soon...
RAONE8 thumbnail
12th Anniversary Thumbnail Navigator Thumbnail Networker 1 Thumbnail
Posted: 10 years ago
#10
wow ...what a thrilling n scary start👍🏼
really intriguing I must say..
well I think Balraj knows everything n he is hiding something abt this place n he seems to b some vampire or something..keeping sunlight away thru d cap😕...n also tuffy barking at him...there is certainlyabt him that no one knows
who is chasing mukund😲...i think balraj has done something to him
well I rofled a lot reading bhujangs name🤣...how did all of a sudden mallik got an unknown uncle...something is fishy here
well really loved d start..👏

cont sooon

Related Topics

Top

Stay Connected with IndiaForums!

Be the first to know about the latest news, updates, and exclusive content.

Add to Home Screen!

Install this web app on your iPhone for the best experience. It's easy, just tap and then "Add to Home Screen".