Chapter 34
Madhu kept looking at Rishabh, trying to come up for a way to apologize for her violent outburst the previous night, but he kept his eyes on the plate and his conversation solely directed towards Manav, who was chirping away talking to him as if they had known each other forever. Manav had been here in front of her eyes less than half an hour, yet already the constant sickening worry that had gnawed at Madhu for the past several months seemed to be melting away, hope shining like the first light of dawn that ended a long night.
It suddenly seemed like everything was getting better and yet only twelve hours ago her most gruesome fears had completely defeated her and she would believe nothing but the absolute worst. It was the darkest hour before dawn indeed. All the pain she had bottled inside her for the last several months - right from the moment she had first realized Mukund never loved her - exploded all at once, sending her so out of control and into the arms of despair so dark no reason and no sobering hope could reach. Her hopelessness was so resolute, so dark she had refused to believe - or even listen to - the one man who had actually saved her.
Rishabh had no reason whatsoever to do what he did - to save her, to save Manav and to sit here protecting both of them - and yet he had. In return, she had repaid him with words of venom. Any other man would have thrown her out just then for being so ungrateful. But Rishabh sat there, in front of her but ignoring her, looking deeply uncomfortable but still being gentle and attentive to Manav.
Why? Why did he have to be so good to her?
Madhu sighed because she didn't understand. She knew, she had always known, that he was a good man. He wasn't the callous monster she had carelessly called him. Hell, he was the man who she had fallen in...
In any case, things had happened too fast and only the wrong kind of words had been spoken so far. One thing was sure - they needed to talk. She couldn't leave without talking to him and apologizing to him.
But right now she wanted him to eat. God knows when he'd eaten last! As it is, she had to send Manav to drag him out for lunch.
"Manav, why don't you go inside the room and unpack your stuff? I will come talk to you in some time. We are going to stay here for a few days." Madhu said as soon as Manav finished eating. Her eyes were on Rishabh when she said the last bit about staying and he had looked at her too upon hearing that.
"Okay didi." Manav said and left immediately. RK stood up to leave too, but Madhu held his hand and stopped him.
"Rishabh ji" she said, her voice unsure. "Umm...can we talk, please?" she gently said and Rishabh turned to face her. He couldn't say no to anything Madhu wanted, could he?
"Rishabh ji. I want to...I mean...thank you..."Madhu fumbled with her eyes on the ground, her guilt not allowing to look straight at RK's face
"Thank you for saving Manav and bringing him...I..I am sorry about what I said...I thought.."
"Madhu, I would have done it much before had I known. I guess I didn't give you a reason to trust me...but I would never hurt a child, much less your brother..." Rishabh solemnly spoke. He could see the guilt and the hesitation on Madhu's face. She was obviously grateful to him for saving Manav, but it only reminded him of how blissfully ignorant of her insane worry for Manav he had been the whole time he had known Madhu.
"I know that now. I mean I always knew that. I..."Madhu answered, feeling guiltier for making Rishabh feel she didn't trust him. She had thought about telling him about Manav a few times, especially after they'd come back from Panchgani, but somehow circumstances were such...
"I am sorry I was so late." RK said and Madhu looked up to him. The look of guilt on his face broke her heart - there was no way he could be blamed for whatever happened to her, and yet he seemed genuinely anguished. "I guess I was so self-absorbed in my problems...I just took everything from you for my needs and didn't..." his voice turned heavy and RK moved a few steps away, missing the pain in Madhu's eyes when he relayed her own words back to her.
Maybe it was true at some level, maybe he was so absorbed in his pain that he took from Madhu a lot more than he gave her, but God did it hurt hearing that put in words!
"I wish I could have found you sooner..."his voice trailed.
"Rish..." Madhu braved her tears to protest, but Rishabh interrupted her, his voice already firmer.
"Anyway thanks for agreeing to stay. I won't bother you, I promise. I have a call, I need to go. Did you need anything else?" He said, already walking away towards his room. He couldn't look at her, couldn't let her see his pain any more. If she did, she would pity him like she had before. She was too caring and compassionate a person not to, Rishabh knew, even if she truly hated him. But he didn't want to burden her any more. He had done much wrong to her - he was a rapist and a brutal monster just like she had said - and he needed to suffer alone. She, on the other hand, deserved to be happy and Rishabh now knew her happiness could never lie with him.
However he stopped when he heard Madhu say "Yes" behind him.
"Can you call a doctor?" she said, and Rishabh stopped. Was she hurt? She didn't say last night but maybe Tony or Karan or someone had beat her or hurt her in other ways? And of course she was unwell the previous night too...suddenly worry for her overtook every other thought in his brain and he cursed himself for not asking her again this morning if she needed medical attention.
"Of course" he said, dialing his phone already.
********
"Is she ok?" Rishabh asked the doctor as soon as he exited Madhu's room. He had been standing outside the room where both Madhu and Manav were, but the doctor had come out within five minutes.
"Yes."
"Are you sure? Is she hurt anywhere? Did you check? She had fever."
"She is fine Mr Kundra. She has some weakness and I gave her some pills."
"What about Manav?"
"The boy...he's fine."
"Oh."
"Yeah, now, can we go inside that room? I need to look at you."
"Me?"
"Yes. That's what your wife said. She called me here because apparently you have too many injuries from an accident and she wants me to take a good look."
"My wife?" RK was shocked, then realized the doctor misunderstood. However the doctor kept talking, dragging him to his room and he didn't get a chance to correct.
"Yes. And I can see she's right. There's blood underneath your head bandage. Did you get stitches?"
The doctor left an hour later having checked out and tended to all his injuries. He needed to get a few stitches and the doctor gave him some painkillers which immediately made him drowsy.
Patil kaka had called a doctor Wednesday morning. The scuffle at Tony's place had only added to the injuries Sultan's men had caused and by the time his driver got him done that night from Tony's place, he was in a pretty bad shape and passed out. Patil kaka had tried to bandage what he could, but in the morning he had called a doctor. But RK didn't want to stay back as soon as he regained consciousness. Tony had said he'd bring Madhu on Sunday, but despite Patil kaka telling him to wait until then, Rishabh felt exceptionally restless not doing anything until then, knowing the kind of ordeal Madhu was living through. He decided he'd first do the one thing he definitely could, which was to save Manav, and then find a way to get to Madhu because without Manav being safe, Madhu would never be fully safe. Patil kaka pleaded with him to get medical attention before he left for Panchgani. Eventually, he stayed long enough for the doctor to put a cast on fractured left arm because he really was in excruciating pain and a broken dangling arm would make things difficult, but ignored everything else and drove straight to Panchgani, on the way making arrangements for security and a place for Manav to stay.
**********
RK woke up a few hours later. He was alone in the room, but as he woke up he remembered Madhu being in the room just as he was dozing off and making sure he was comfortably tucked in. It was a hazy memory, yet the warmth of the moment resonated by several similar ones that had happened before. After all, it was the same Madhu.
A smiling Madhu's face appeared from the crevices of Rishabh's memory - why it was not even a week ago, wasn't it, that Madhu and he had laughingly teased each other about reading comic books. That smile...that Madhu...she was his Madhu. The Madhu that stood for a promise of hope and life. And God, did he want her! He loved her so much.
Suddenly, he felt stirrings of a hope anew. The last week was purgatory, but it was over, wasn't it? They were both alive, and at last, Madhu was safe and free.
Maybe, there was still a chance - a long shot perhaps, but a shot - at that promised future with her. Maybe, if he truly begged for her forgiveness, she would find it somewhere in that big heart of hers to forget the past and allow him to spend the rest of his life giving her every happiness she deserved.
After all, his hope pointed out, she had stayed back, like he had requested. She still cared for him at least a little - he saw it in her eyes when she helped him with the redressing this morning. She had called the doctor. She had tucked him into bed. Maybe, there was something other than just hatred for him in her heart.
Yes, she had said what she had said last night. But she was traumatized and weak and worried for Manav. And she had tried to apologize earlier in the day...
...not that she really needed to, it wasn't as if she said anything wrong. But now Manav was in front of her, so she was probably doing better than last night when she had just escaped that dreadful place he'd brought her from. For sure he couldn't even imagine the emotional hell she'd lived through with Tony and Karan...
...so she was under stress when she said she absolutely hated him. Hadn't he done things and said things he didn't want to when he was in a similar state - hell, he had bought and raped Madhu on a night when he had been completely devastated himself.
"Even though you raped me, night after night, I still cared for you."
He stilled at that thought. He had raped Madhu. Night after night, like she had said. He had wanted her - no, he had needed her. But he didn't consider her desire at all. He didn't treat her much like a person, and yet she was good to him.
But, his hope again retorted, he didn't force her into prostitution. He had bought her from Tony. And he even saved her and her brother from Tony's clutches for the future.
However, what was true was that he had considered sending her back there. He almost did, and that's what she knew anyway. It was like she was an object that could be bought and sold at will, with not even an ioa of consideration of her will. It was because of him that she had to go back and suffer God-knows-what with Tony and Karan for almost 2 days.
"I don't know the difference any more. He sells, you buy"
Was it true, he thought for the hundredth time since she had said those words. Had he become such a monster that there was, in fact, no difference between him and Tony in terms of the pain they'd inflicted on Madhu?
The thoughts circled around in Rishabh's head for almost an hour. He knew he had wronged her and hurt her and probably didn't deserve her forgiveness. And yet, the hope - endless, irrational hope fuelled by an endless, all-consuming love - refused to disappear.
His phone rang, putting a brake to the train of his thoughts. It was work - he had been pretty much MIA for three days and there was something they needed urgently signed. He asked to fax over the papers to the Pune office - it was a small office in the city center managing the real estate business in the city, but it was still his - and decided to drive over the next morning and get it done. Somehow, the urgency of work had lost its appeal to the normally workaholic RK. What was the point anyway? What was the point of working hard, making money, buying houses when he didn't have a home to come back to? He never saw it before and he'd spent years content in the illusion of a life with people who'd never cared for him anyway. But now, the mirage was broken and the empty unloved silence of his life was on display in its grotesque glory.
The only light he had in that house in the last few months was Madhu.
Perhaps that was why he had held on to her so tight even when he didn't understand what she truly meant to him. Perhaps that was why it had been so hard to fight his feelings for her.
Rishabh's mind went back to the last night they had shared together in his room. What happened that night was real and special. The taste of the raw passion with which Madhu had kissed him was still alive on his lips - indeed, that had been his fuel from the moment he had left his house that morning until the moment Madhu was in his arms again in Karan's room. Could it be that Madhu had felt that passion too? Could it be that she shared a part of it?
Rishabh sat up unable to fight the hope any more. Nothing else - not his guilt, not Madhu's words - could hold him back anymore.
He needed to tell her. He needed her to know.
Maybe, if he told her how much he loved her...for the person she was...maybe, they could both figure out a way to put the considerable baggage of their past behind?
Maybe, just maybe, there was a way in this universe where they could be together and happy for the rest of their lives.
He had to give it everything he got because he had precious little in his life to lose other than her and as of now she was fast slipping away from him anyway.
He had to take the shot. Because if he didn't, what else was there?
********
(Madhu's room)
"What did you write in the letter?" Madhu asked Manav. He was filling her in on the details of how Rishabh had taken him from his school.
"Oh it already had your signature, so Rishabh bhaiya helped me write that you were ill and were requesting leave of absence. And were giving guardianship to Rishabh bhaiya so I could be sent with him. Are you angry we used your signature to make up the story?" Manav asked, but Madhu just shook her head.
"No, no. It was good." Madhu was glad she had included the blank papers with her signature, thinking that Manav might need them at some point, either in school or in the bank or somewhere else assuming she never made it out. More than anything, she was glad that Rishabh did not show Manav the note that she'd actually written for him. It had the one truth that Madhu really did not want Manav to know, yet at that point she had been left with no choice but to tell him. She had explained how Mukund had sold her and how she was trying to run but still trapped so that he did not underestimate the dangers at all and ran off at the first chance he got.
Now that Manav was safe and she was out of Tony's grip too, she was a tad glad and extremely relieved that her past was still hidden because she really feared Manav's reaction upon knowing the disgusting world she had been a part of. What if he began hating her?
"Anyway, warden signed my absence and then I packed my things. I was clever, you know - I didn't pack everything. That way people will think I am still coming back. Rishabh bhaiya thought it was a very smart idea. He is really cool. Didi?" Manav called questioningly, bringing Madhu's attention back to the conversation "you didn't tell me what's the danger we are running from? Is Mukund...or something else.."
He looked apprehensive, but Madhu wondered about what to tell him. Besides, at this moment, she wasn't sure what dangers still remained because she wasn't sure under what circumstances had Rishabh negotiated her release from Tony. She had to talk to Rishabh...
"It's nothing you have to worry about. We'd be fine."
"I am not a kid, you know." Manav suddenly got angry. "I am 14. I can understand things."
"Manav!" Madhu scolded him a little. He insisted he wasn't a kid but his tantrums proved he was still immature.
"Fine" Manav sat down, not wanting to make his sister angry.
"Rishabh bhaiya also said the same thing. You don't have to worry about it. It's like I can't judge right from wrong." He sulked.
"Manav the world is not as nice as you think. You need to learn a little to understand that very few people can be trusted. Once you are older you'll see..." She tried to explain sweetly - her brother had been sheltered all his life and most of it was her fault. She was herself quite naive, but the world had taught her a lot in the last few months.
"Ok tell me where did Rishabh ji take you last night. Were you at his home?" She tried to deflect the conversation.
"No, he sent me to a hotel in Pune with his bodyguards. We left from school together but separated mid way. But he was very good to me. His people too. I told him about my classes and friends and about Mukund bhaiya and Shaurya..."
"You told him about Mukund?" Madhu asked, shocked.
"Not everything...just that you said to not talk to him..."
"See this is why I say you have a lot to learn. You can't trust anyone with all kinds of information. You don't even know Rishabh ji. You had seen him once before today, but he said he had come to take you and you just went with him and start talking to him about your whole life. He became your best friend in, what, 20 minutes because you think he's rich and cool?" Madhu yelled at his naivety. What if someone dangerous - like Tony - had gone to Manav's school and said that Madhu had sent him to take him?
"I was being polite and respectful! You only always say..." Manav retorted, angry.
"Yes, being nice and polite is one thing. You should do that. You should say thank you and sorry. But you can't randomly trust strangers in the world with your life and all your personal secrets. You don't know how people really are from how they look. What if he hurt you...what if..."
Madhu stilled mid-sentence as she suddenly noticed Rishabh standing at the door of the room. She froze when she saw the deathly pale look on his face, but it was quickly masked away as their eyes met.
She stood up as he moved his face away.
"I am sorry..I...I...just came to say.. I am going to the city for a couple of hours for work. Don't wait up"
And then, he was gone.
Edited by teekay - 10 years ago
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