FF: Ilzaam | Thread 3 link | Thread 2 Ch 24-39 - Page 3

Waiting for the next update :P

Chapter 24

(Monday)

RK woke up with the ring of his phone. It was past 10 am. He was surprised at how long he had slept - perhaps it was the exhaustion and sleepless of last several days catching up to him, or perhaps, it was the helplessness that made him want to die that had shut his mind off so he could recover and live to see the ruins of the destruction he had caused.

The phone rang again and Rishabh got up with a start as he noted the name of the caller.

"Hello Trish! How are you? Is everything okay? Why are you calling so early in the day?" RK went into panic mode as he realized the time in London.

"I am ok bhai. How are you?" she answered, trying to sound calm.

"Trish, you sound worried, what happened? What's wrong?"

Trish sighed, knowing her bhai would pick up anything "Bhai, actually...you first relax..."

"Trish"

"...actually mom is in the hospital."

"What? Why? What happened?"

"She had an attack yesterday morning... don't worry, don't worry she's out of danger now. She is in the ICU recovering. Dad is here too we just met her she is ok for now. She asked me to call you because she knew you would flip out if you will find out later.

"Of course I would. Why didn't you or mamaji call me yesterday?! Trish I can't believe this. I am coming there right now."

"Bhai...bhai...mom is fine and she asked me to explicitly tell you not to come. Anyway your court case is in two days right... you can't leave the country..."

Rishabh sat down on the bed, realizing Trish was right. He couldn't leave now, and not just because of the case.

"Sigh...you're right but...tell me the truth, Trish. Is Mamiji ok?"

"Yes. They revived her. They say she needs another surgery in the next 1-2 days, but it's not urgent and they are waiting for her to get stronger. She'd be fine, bhai." Trishna attempted to reassure, though by now her own voice was starting to break.

"OK, what hospital are you in? Send me the details...and also the name of the doctor and her reports. And listen, do not worry about the expenses. I will have someone come over and take care of everything at the hospital. I also know a senior cardiologist. I will send mami's reports for a double opinion. I wish I could be there right now..."

"I know bhai. It's okay. We can manage, we don't need the money. We have insurance and...:

"Trish, don't argue. Besides, everything I am...everything I have done in 28 years of my life and all the money I have, I have realized it's worth very very little. At least let a small part of my life and my money be of some good use. I want mami to have the best care possible..."

"Ok bhai...I won't argue...don't talk like this please..."

"You call me if you need anything okay. I'd try to come to London as soon as I can..."

"Bhai, are you okay? You sound really low...and why are you..."

"I'll be fine. I am worried for you."

"I am okay bhai. Dad is with the doctor right now. I will ask him to call you later in the day." Trishna tried to reassure, but she hadn't missed the abject melancholy in her brother's voice.

"Ok..."

"Bhai?" Trishna asked after a pause.

"Yes."

"Bhai, can I talk to Madhu please?"

Rishabh walked across the corridor to Madhu's room and knocked on her door, his phone in his hand.

"It's Trish", he said when Madhu opened. "Mami had a heart attack. She is in the hospital. Trish wants to talk to you." he somehow pieced the words and Madhu took the phone from him and turned back inside the room. He followed her.

Madhu looked at RK leaning by the table several feet away from her as she spoke to Trishna. He wasn't looking straight at her, but for the first time in 36 hours she did. He looked like hell, and Madhu did not like that she did not like seeing him like that.

She had known when he had come to her room last night. With him, she had always known.

She had dreaded him coming to her bed and slipping in next to her as he had done countless times before, so she pretended to be asleep. But she had known while he stood there and she had heard his faint sobs tremble across her room. Part of her was relieved when he did not come and lie next to her and walked over to his room, but the rest of her was in agony.

Agony because he hadn't come and lay next to her. Agony because she could sense his pain even though she didn't want to.

And then, she heard him scream in his room. The flimsy door separating their rooms muffled some sounds, but couldn't quite muffle the helpless pain in Rishabh's voice. Perhaps it was more than pity that Rishabh felt for her. Perhaps he had his reasons. Perhaps it was about his divorce hearings and he was really helpless, but she couldn't think about those, could she? She needed to focus on Manav. She needed to focus on surviving at least as long as she was required to.

"You shouldn't blame yourself" she spoke to Trishna on the phone, but her eyes were on Rishabh, who lifted his eyes to look at her. "It is our destiny." she spoke with a strange absoluteness. It was all the comfort she had in her to offer.

"You're strong...stronger than you think. Your mom and dad would want you to be strong." she spoke again after some time, still looking directly at RK.

"Thanks Madhu. I know. I am strong. And mom is fine. She will be fine. It's just..."Trish spoke on the other side of the phone.

"I understand."

"Thanks. I feel so much better talking to you. Madhu, um...how's bhai? He sounded very...are there problems with the case?" she asked, and Madhu finally turned away from RK's gaze.

"Don't worry Trish. He would be okay." she answered.

"And what about you? Is your admission done?"

"Yes...yes...in fact...I am leaving tomorrow...for my classes. My time here's done."

Even though she was facing away from him, RK had still been staring at her for the past minute. Listening to those last few words though hit him like a jolt. She was leaving. It really was time. Less than 36 hours to go.

Don't make it harder on her than it is, Agarwal had said and he was probably right. If he couldn't help her, couldn't save her, he could make it less difficult. He knew she cared for him, but right now and from now on, he needed her to take care of herself, just herself. Because he couldn't.

He turned away and walked towards the door.

"Your phone" Madhu said a minute later. He turned and took it back from her.

"When is Tony coming tomorrow?" she suddenly asked, her voice dispassionate.

"Evening. 8."

"Ok. Do you need anything else? Do you want..." she asked, pointing to the bed, revulsion in her eyes.

"No. No no." he said and took a few steps back. It was good that she was treating him as a client, but it still ripped his heart.

"Ok then." Madhu said and walked to the washroom, closing the door behind her.

******************************

The sound of something falling brought RK out of his room. It was late afternoon but he hadn't bothered to go to work. He just couldn't get himself to. He had just made a few phone calls to ensure Mamiji's reports were monitored and that Trishna got enough money and support for whatever she needed. After that, he just sat and searched his minds for the faintest hopes...anything he could do to move himself and Madhu outside the path of the meteor that was about to hit them.

"Madhu!" he screamed as soon as he saw Madhu fallen on the middle of the staircase, dozens of books around her. She had apparently slipped, though she had held on to the railing for support which prevented her falling all the way.

"Madhu. Are you ok?" he rushed to her and started picking up the books that had fallen on her. "What were you doing? Where are you taking all your books?"

"Study. Taking them back where they belong" she answered, her voice unemotional. RK looked at her face and ignored the pang that came over as she tried to stand up and he tried to support her.

"Patil! Patil!" RK screamed aloud. "Why were you carrying so many books at once?" he continued to scream at her. She winced as she stood up, but her ankle had sprained. She tried to push RK's hand away, but RK didn't budge.

"What happened Rishabh beta?" Patil asked as he came running.

"Take all these books to the study. And bring some ice to Madhu's room." he said as he lifted her in his arms, ignoring her protests.

"Mitasha." she blurted, but RK ignored the correction and walked to Madhu's room with her in his arms. Once he put her on the bed, he examined her foot. A slight swelling had started to come up.

"Does it pain a lot?" he asked his eyes on the foot.

"Not enough." she answered and RK looked up to her. What was a sprain compared to the pain he knew she was going through? They were both...

Tumne Jo Dekha Suna Sach Tha Magar

Kitna Tha Sach Ye Kisko Pata

"Here's ice, Rishabh beta. I also got balm. Is it really swollen?" Patil asked as he entered the room a couple of minutes later.

"It's fine, kaka." Madhu answered before Rishabh said anything.

"Get some pain killers too for Madhu, kaka."

"Okay. But first you should eat something bitiya. And you too." he turned towards Rishabh. "Neither of you have eaten since morning. I am not taking your not-hungry excuse any more okay. I am bringing food for both of you right here and then both of you have your meds. Rishabh you've skipped your morning dosage, haven't you?" RK didn't answer.

He didn't see the point of his medication any more. He couldn't care less about what happened to his health. Two months back, his doctor had asked him to take them regularly because his heart rhythm had become erratic. The doctor said it was stress, BP fluctuations and depression. That day when he had come home, he had mentioned over dinner in passing to Patil kaka to remind him to have his medicines everyday as they were important. Madhu was there, and after that, he had noticed a few times how she would directly or indirectly remind him to take his medicines. Why did she care so much?

Then, he was trying to live, choosing to be happy as Madhu would have said. But now, he had chosen misery, hadn't he? For himself and for her. So what, if his choice was dictated by a desire to prevent misery for many others? His choice should probably affect him, but as he iced Madhu's ankle and looked at her stare away from him uncaring about the pain, he rued for the hundredth time why his hapless choice was proving disastrous for her.

They both ate quietly, in the most uncomfortable companionship they had ever experienced. Yet, to Rishabh, just the sight of Madhu being in front of his eyes was something to hold on to, so he continued to sit there in silence even when they were done.

To him, his entire world was collapsing and thus he was clutching at straws. But the irony was, those straws were likely being carried by the heavy winds that had blown away already the fragile straw hut that was Madhu's entire world.

After a while, Madhu got up from the bed and walked towards her cupboard, starting to rearrange things.

"What are you doing?" he stood up and walked behind her "Don't move about. Your foot is still swollen."

"I am fine." she said without looking at him. That's when RK realized what she was doing. She was continuing to pack, apparently what she had been doing before lunch.

"You're packing..." he said, and she didn't respond. The sight of her tidying up all her things, throwing clothes in the little bag she had brought with her the day she came here broke RK's heart. His eyes misted and he struggled to control himself, not knowing how to stop her, yet wanting to, more than anything else.

"Madhu" he spoke, his voice hoarse and broken enough to make Madhu stop what she was doing. She willed herself to be strong and turned around.

"Mitasha" she corrected again.

"You're not taking these" he asked, pointing to all the clothes still hanging in the wardrobe - all the clothes he had bought for her. She only seemed to be packing clothes she had brought - her old kurtas and her sleazy dresses.

"I am not taking anything that's not mine." she curtly replied.

"I've never seen you in a sari." he blurted as he touched the black sari hanging there - the only one he had bought and she had never worn. She would look beautiful in it, he thought as the realization of everything he was giving up hit him again.

"You know I don't..."he started to say when Madhu didn't respond for a while.

"It's okay Mr RK. You don't have to explain. Now if you'd get out of the way, I need to pack my stuff."

Rishabh shuddered at her iciness. "Maybe if he could explain to her why..." he thought to himself, still standing at the door of her wardrobe, when another thought butted in "...then what? She'd feel better? No, she won't. You just want to reduce your own guilt. But how does that help her? If being rude to him and hating him helps her be stronger, that's what he should help her do."

"Ok. I'll send you your money in some time." he said and walked out of the room.

(later that night)

"Madhu bitiya" Patil kaka knocked on her room

"Ji kaka."

"Rishabh beta has sent this for you." He said and pointed to the bundle of money in his hand. "Should I keep it at the regular place?" Ever since Madhu had come here, Patil had instructions to give her 5000 rupees in cash every day for her expenses. For the first few weeks, he had handed her the money, but later when he warmed up to her, he noticed that Madhu just kept the money in the drawer in her cupboard anyway, and so he had started quietly keeping the money every day there directly avoiding the shameful discomfort of handing it to her. All these months, the only time she had used the money was when she had sent the money order to Manav twice and when she had been to Panchgani.

"No. No need." she answered. "Just do what I told you to do with the rest of it."

Patil nodded, then added, "Ok. Also Rishabh beta asked you to meet him near the pool in an hour."

"Pool?"

"Yeah, the pool in the backyard. It's visible from your room, isn't it? The backdoor opens to it."

"Ok." she said, and closed the door.

Once upon a time, she longed to sit by the pool. Today, as she thought about why RK had called her there, she dreaded the thought. Why was it so hard being cold to him? Why was it so hard to not care? Why was it, that after once letting Rishabh in through her shield, Madhu was powerless over his influence on her? Why was it so hard to lie and pretend that she was ok and that her decision hadn't affected her?

Why was it, that after everything, knowing everything, she still wanted him?

Is pyaar mein sach jhoot ka

Tum faisla kar ne sake

Hum ko mili uski saza

Hum jo khata kar na sake.

*******************************************************

(pool)

When she finally walked out, Madhu was surprised to see RK lying down on the pool chair, gazing at the sky. In all these months, she had never known him to do that. The moon was almost full, and the whole yard was lit in its shine. RK looked strangely calm as he stared at the sky, and just for a moment, Madhu paused to imagine what she would feel if things weren't the way they were. She closed her eyes and breathed in the fresh air. The night was calm and beautiful. There was a gentle breeze. There were a few clouds in the sky, but for now, the moon bathed everything in the kind of serenity that could make one believe this was a dream.

If only this was a dream, she thought to herself and faintly smiled for no reason. If only she could steal a few minutes away from reality and immerse herself in this illusion, allowing herself to live just for those few minutes, it might just be enough to help her make it through the rest of her life.

RK heard Madhu's bangles as she approached and sat up on the chair, turning to look at her. She was wearing the black sari and with one glance at her, his breath was struck in his throat. Moonlight shimmered over her and she looked more beautiful than Rishabh had ever imagined. A faint breeze blew her open hair away and Rishabh couldn't take his gaze away from Madhu. He knew she was beautiful and he had dreamt of her in a sari, but what he saw tonight did not even come close to his imagination.

Suddenly, she smiled. It was a small smile, but it wasn't fake. Rishabh didn't know what made her do it, but he felt his heartbeat race up, divorcing him away from his vow to be distant and strong in front of her.

If only this was a dream, he thought to herself. If only he could steal away a few minutes from the ugliness of his reality and the shadow of his bad luck and make himself believe in the delusion that his mind knew was unattainable and yet this moment promised - happiness and his Madhu.

He raised his outstretched hand towards her, and to his mild surprise, she nodded and walked up to him, giving her his hand. No words were needed.

He held on to her hand as they both lay down in adjacent chairs, neither saying anything that would wake them up from the dream they were in. Their eyes were on the sky, but every couple of minutes one of them would turn their hand and look at the other and try to commit the sight to memory. It was a soothing silence.

"You are beautiful." Rishabh said after a while, squeezing her hand.

Madhu did not respond for a while, then said, "I wish I wasn't. Why are you looking at the sky?"

"I am thinking about what you said - that if we focus on the moon, on the light, the darkness of the night becomes less scary."

"The moon is beautiful tonight."

"Yes it is. But it won't be there tomorrow. Then what will save me from the night?"

"You can buy a lot of bulbs, Rishabh ji." She said, her eyes firmly on the sky. Rishabh noticed how she called him Rishabh ji again, instead of Mr RK as she had done in the afternoon.

"The night's too dark for bulbs. Besides, I don't want to. Bulbs are anyway useless without electricity and I don't have any energy."

"Were you a very stubborn kid, Rishabh ji?" she suddenly asked, changing the topic.

"No. I was a very obedient boy."

"Really? You don't look like one." she answered with a little chuckle.

"What do you mean I don't look like one?" he turned to her and asked.

"Yep. Look at you, you're so huge and scary." she teased.

"I am not huge and scary. You're tiny and delicate!"

"Whatever I am not scared of you. Even when I was a child I could take on people your size."

"Yeah? I bet everyone in your colony was scared of you, little thing."

"Everyone in the town! I was very naughty and when I was 4, my mom had to find a new punishment for me everyday to keep me in line."

"I can totally believe that. You're still stubborn and naughty. Did any of those punishments work on you?"

"Only one. When mom used to lock me in a dark room, I cried so much. I was scared of darkness, so I would stare out of the window at the moon."

"What did you do on moonless nights?"

"I hated those..."she answered, her voice lower. The light around them dimmed as some clouds covered the moon.

"We are losing the moon. I think the clouds are here to say forever."

"Stars.."

"What?"

"Look at the stars. They're around even on moonless nights."

"My dad used to say my mom became a star when she died."

"I used to believe that too, when my mom died. I always thought she was up there, looking at me, protecting me."

"I trusted her...my step-mother...to protect me. Dad told me...I loved her...I did everything she said, including marrying someone I didn't even like. Especially after dad died...she was everything. I would have given her anything, but she cheated...how can a parent do that?" Rishabh spoke, tears leaking off his eyes.

"The night my father died...he was drunk...he beat me, then he tried to force himself on me. Perhaps he thought I was my mother. I had to run from my own home. How can a parent do that?" Rishabh looked at Madhu and saw her tears, his heart shattering into pieces. Words escaped him as reality sneaked up to him. He pulled his hand back from hers.

The dream was ending.

Madhu though, still looked at the sky.

"We can still focus on what we want, right? We can still hold onto the good stars. One day I will go in a rocket and remove all the bad stars from up there. You know Rishabh ji, I always wanted to be a superwoman who could fly across planets in a jiffy. The first thing I would do though, is to fly to the star that is my mother and hug her so tight that all I'd be able to feel is her love and protection.

"I don't feel anything" he said, staring at the sky again.

"Neither do I, any more" she spoke, suddenly serious.

Just like that, the moment was over. It wasn't a game of make-belief anymore.

Silence encroached the souls again, but it wasn't anything like the soothing silence from before.

Moment by moment, cell by cell, they had both begun to die a slow death.

"Madhu. I am sorry." Rishabh finally voiced the words that had been on his tips for several days.

"I didn't intend to hurt you. The first night...every night...everything..." he confessed, surprising himself.

Madhu looked at him with a slight shock. From the day they had met, he had never ever said sorry to her for anything. He had hurt her, he had healed her. He had showed his feelings through his gestures and actions, but never once had he apologized. His words today had guilt, but more than that, they had a sense of finality that pricked Madhu as if shards of glass flowed through her veins.

"Doesn't matter." she finally said, calmness back in her voice. "You were the first. But you won't be the last. And you weren't even the first to really hurt me."

"Hmm. You're right. I shouldn't care." Rishabh clenched his eyes shut.

"Yes, you shouldn't. You paid your dues. Nobody is accusing you of anything."

"I don't care anyway. I have been accused of far worse." Rishabh suddenly stood up.

It was over.

"Ilzaamon ka parcha liya zindagi yoon hi darwaze pe khari hai, do chaar tum aur jod do, fark kya pad jayega"

Madhubala Malik stared at Rishabh Kundra walk away. Perhaps for the last time.

Hum bewafa hargiz na the

Par hum wafa kar na sake

Hum ko mili uski saza

Hum jo khata kar na sake

Unres

Ohkk let me first dance first again stalking worked😉

Coming to update

It was really painful

I have no words to explain how i m feeling right now

Awesome update

Update soon i know i m bit selfish for asking u to update soon but what to do the story is so gripy that i cant stop myself from saying this 😊