RK barely managed to catch a fainting Madhu before she fell on the ground. With some effort he steadied himself and knelt on the ground to support an unconscious Madhu in his arms.
"Madhu!" he screamed, but Madhu did not respond. His own senses were not functioning fully, and the echoes of Madhu's final rejection had numbed his mind. The shock of Madhu's fainting hit him like a bolt of electricity even as he struggled to make sense of what was happening and what he could do next.
"Wake up Madhu..."he muttered as he panicked. What had happened to Madhu?
Rishabh picked Madhu in his arms and walked inside to the only bedroom in the apartment. He laid her on the bed, picked the glass of water on Madhu's bedside and sprinkled it on her, slapping her face gently. RK's breath rose as Madhu didn't wake up. Her pulse was very weak and Rishabh put his ear close to Madhu's heart to listen to her heart beat.
Truly overwhelmed, as if a volcano was erupting inside him, RK shook Madhu's body for the next minute or so and pleaded with her to come back as tears flooded out of his eyes and he buried himself in Madhu's chest. Rishabh was a wreck - his brain had stopped working, his heart was broken in millions of pieces and his soul had probably left his body already, or if not, was in wait for his sinning life to end.
For that minute or so, Destiny seriously contemplated quitting her job - directing the course of people's lives while being enslaved to their choices and watching them suffer their consequences wasn't worth it. Then, she changed her mind. Humans make too many mistakes when left by themselves. Catching the tears that then fell was a job someone ought to do.
The sight of a large framed picture of himself on the wall across him brought some temporary sanity back to RK. He looked up and wiped his eyes. "Wake up Madhu. I know you still love me. Don't leave me. I am sorry. Madhu..." he yelled. A few minutes ago, his faith had been crushed and he was starting to give up, but just knowing that Madhu still slept with his photo across her reminded RK of his vow - as long as he was alive, he wasn't going to give up the fight to get Madhu back.
RK broke away from Madhu, picked up his phone and dialed 911 to ask for medical help.
"911 what is your emergency?" the operator asked.
"My wife...my wife fell unconscious. She was talking to me and fell..."
"Okay sir. Don't panic. Let's try some first aid and if not, I will send a paramedic team. Your wife...is she still unconscious?"
"Yes.."
"Okay. When did she last eat?"
"Ummm...I don't know. I just came..."
"Okay. Is she on any medication?"
RK didn't know but on listening to that question, he looked around the room. Suddenly he spotted a bunch of pills on the desk at the other end of the room. There were lots of medicines and RK wondered why Madhu was taking that many pills, when his eyes went on the book lying next to the pills. "Your first trimester" said the title. Stunned, RK walked to the desk and looked at the pills. He didn't recognize any names as they were US brands, but noticed there were vitamins and minerals among the pills. He stared at the book, which had a pregnant woman's image on the cover. Was Madhu pregnant? Was he...was he going to be a father?
"Hello sir...are you there" the operator's voice came from the phone, but RK's eyes were stuck on the small calendar pasted on the wall above Madhu's desk. Two dates were circled - one was six months in the future, and the other...he recognized those dates...he remembered that weekend. Over the last month since Madhu's disappearance, he had lived each moment of that weekend millions of times over. It was the last time he had been with Madhu. It was the last time he had been truly happy. Which means...maybe...Madhu was pregnant?
He uttered the last part of that thought aloud, and the operator caught the word pregnant...
"Sir...is your wife pregnant?" she asked.
"Yes. 3 months." RK replied, with a confidence that surprised him. He didn't know for sure, and yet, he knew. His heart knew. A strange warmth and an unfamiliar joy of some sort erupted inside him. Even in this moment of crisis, even on this day of absolute dejection and devastation, RK felt like he had hit upon an oasis of bliss despite being lost in the desert of death. Suddenly, it felt like there was something to live for. Suddenly, everything was worth fighting for. They were having a baby! He was going to be a father!
"Sir...sir...you there"
"Yeah."
"I said is your wife taking any treatment for low blood pressure. Can you check if there is phenylephrine or fureosemide in her pills? Doctors usually prescribe an injection for patients who are susceptible."
RK looked through the pills but did not find any injections. He then looked at the drawer to search for more pills. After about a minute or so, he found a couple of sealed boxes for phenylephrine. The description on the box indicated that they could be used for emergency treatment if patient faints due to low blood pressure.
"I found the injection" RK spoke on the phone.
"Ok sir. Why don't you give it to your wife? Most likely her fainting is due to low BP. But, if she doesn't wake up in 15 minutes, you should take her to the nearest ER. Do you need me to give you the address of the nearest hospital?"
***************************************
RK injected the medicine and sat next to Madhu, gently caressing her face. The realization of his discovery was slowly sinking in. Inexplicably, he felt a lot less pain and a lot more conviction to rebuild his life with Madhu than he had only a few minutes ago. But would Madhu let him back in her life again? Would she ever forgive him? The question rankled Rishabh. She hadn't told him about her pregnancy. She hadn't told him she was carrying his child! Why? Did she really hate him so much now that she was trying to remove him completely from her and her child's life? But it was his child too! It was their child. She couldn't deny him the right to be a father to his own child, could she? Did she really hate him enough to do that? Were his crimes so big that he didn't even deserve to know? Maybe. But the child was innocent, then how could they keep the child away from his parents' love. Was that fair?
RK ran his hand over Madhu's stomach and tried to feel his child. A fiercely protective instinct came over him. No! he wouldn't let his child suffer for his punishments. He would apologize, repent, beg and fight; he would do whatever it took to build a life for his child that was full of love and care from both his parents. If he needed to fight Madhu for that, he would. She had the right to punish him howsoever she saw fit, but he wouldn't let her go away from his life. She had the right to hate her husband, but not the father of her child. More than anything else though, RK's heart, that had suddenly found its voice back, was telling him that Madhu did still love him. He knew the depth of Madhu's love too well, probably because he had taken it for granted so easily until the moment he had lost it. He knew he had hurt her badly - and more than once at that - for her to have taken this step. He knew his Madhu wouldn't cut herself off from RK - especially when she wasn't alone anymore - unless she had been devastated. He knew that Madhu had a misconception of where RK's happiness lay, and it was upto him now to clear that misconception. He had broken Madhu's heart and her faith. He had never truly listened to Madhu and respected her love. He had never given her the life, the love and the loyalty she deserved. He had failed, but he was still alive, and therefore, he couldn't give up just because he had failed. He would make up for everything, he would do whatever it took for as long as it took, but he was never ever going to betray or abandon his family again. His family - his Madhu and his baby - was the only thing that mattered to RK now.
"I promise you, baby, you would always have Mommy and Daddy. Both of them, together, loving each other just as much as they would love you. Forever." RK promised his child as he caressed Madhu's stomach, with a faint smile back on his face.
"Rishu..." Madhu's voice broke RK's chain of thoughts. RK stood up and bent over Madhu's face, who was still not awake though it seemed like the injection was having an effect.
"Madhu...wake up honey...Madhu..."RK gently whispered.
A couple of minutes later, Madhu slowly opened her eyes. Her head felt light and she felt too weak to move. Rishabh's face appeared before her eyes, and Madhu's first instinct was of relief. RK gently hugged her as she closed her eyes, feeling safe.
"Madhu...everything will be fine biwi. I will never hurt you again." RK was whispering, and his words suddenly brought the events of the day back to Madhu. With a jerk, she pushed RK away as her brain woke up and brought back her resolve which had gotten lost somewhere in RK's arms in her first few moments of consciousness. She looked around, she was in her bedroom. How did she get here? The last thing she remembered was...was...Rishabh's eyes.
"Get away from me Rishabh" Madhu shouted with some effort as everything that happened before she blacked out came back to her. She had told Rishabh she didn't love him. She had said the words, untrue words, because she had to, and she had instantly felt her heart sink under their weight. Yet, she had stuck true to her promise and she hadn't melted even when her heart had started to betray her. But her strength was waning and she didn't know if she can survive this battle for very long. Why hadn't Rishabh left yet?
Madhu looked at Rishabh's face. He had backed off a little, but he wasn't leaving. He was still sitting next to her, only a foot or so away and he looked straight to her. Somehow, Madhu felt as he was seeing straight through her. He had anguish on his face, yet the spark in his eyes this time was different than what Madhu had felt when she had first seen RK half an hour ago. There was...hope? Why?
"What...Why are you still here Rishabh?" Madhu asked, while struggling to sit up on the bed. Despite her protests, RK immediately started to help her sit up and pushed a cushion behind her back.
"Where else would I be?" he calmly said. "I am not going anywhere Madhu."
Madhu was puzzled. "I...I told you...I don't want you in my life. I...we should both move on...I...I want to be alone."
"You were never a good liar, honey." RK said, stunning Madhu. He stood and knelt next to Madhu, then held her cheeks in both his hands.
"I know, I know you're trying to push me away. I know I really hurt you and I broke your trust. What I did...there is no excuse. You can punish me whichever way you want for the rest of our lives, but I am not going away as long as I am alive. You can kill me, it would only be fair, but short of that I am not letting you go away from my life because honey...I don't have a life without you. I am selfish...I have always been selfish and I have always taken from you in this relationship while you have been giving, but look at me, I am not the same person any more. I am not the same RK who was so lost in his own world he couldn't see when he was hurting you. I am a broken defeated man who has nothing in his life except the hope that if I spend the rest of my life making you happy, maybe one day my sins will be forgiven. I have nothing to live for, except to see your face every day. I know you don't need me, but I do, biwi. I am selfish and I am helpless. I cannot live without you, and I am never leaving." Madhu stared speechless at RK. She knew he meant what he was saying, and much more that he wasn't putting in words. She didn't want to, but she still could read him and feel his pain amplify many times inside her. She thought she had no life left other than for her baby, but she still felt pain right now. Does that mean she was still alive, because after all, the only proof that one is still living is the ability to feel pain?
Madhu stared at the tears streaming down RK's face and felt herself crumble. She was drowning, so she tried hard to search for words that would pull her out and make this end. But none came to her. Words, such disloyal friends!
RK folded his hands together and continued, "Madhu, I know my words don't mean much to you. I broke your faith even though I never wanted to do that. Still, I promise I will never ever hurt you again. I will never let your heart break again as long as I live. I will never let you question yourself or your love again. I will never bring you to a point in life again when you feel alone or abandoned. I will do everything in my power to give my family everything they deserve." RK gently touched Madhu's stomach as he said "our family", shocking her. Stunned she looked at RK's hand on her stomach and then back at his face. Did he...did he know? How? Oh God...
"I really love you Madhu. And no matter what you say, my heart would never believe that some part of you doesn't have some love for me left still. You're the only woman in my life - you have always been the one for me and you will always be. I will never love anyone as much as you. Actually, that's not true. I will never love anyone as much as I love you...and our child." RK read the shock in Madhu's eyes that was starting to morph into guilt.
"Rishhh.."
"We are going to be a family, Madhu. I am going to be a father." RK sobbed, yet he smiled. It was a strange moment that had immense pain as well as unbridled joy. The air was overloaded with emotion - guilt, surprise, longing, fear, hope, suspicion, passion and anger. Madhu's words had deserted her completely. Tears fell off her eyes as she looked away. It wasn't just that Rishabh knew, the happiness reflecting in his voice amplified the feeling which had been eating her within. He was the father of her child. And not only did he want to be a part of the child's life, he had every right to demand it. She had kept the truth from him, and also hoped against hope that whenever he found out, he wouldn't care as much. But now...now she didn't have the thin veil of delusion to hide behind.
RK took Madhu's hands in both his hands. "Look at me, biwi. Talk to me."
"I...How did you know?"
RK looked at her pills and Madhu followed his eyes, understanding how he had learnt. "Rishabh, I am sorry. I shouldn't have kept this from you. I wanted to tell you, but then...then...it was too late. It's...it's our child...your child. But I didn't know if you would believe it was yours...and you didn't want kids anyway..."Madhu averted RK's gaze and blabbered looking down.
"Biwi...you really...you really thought I would..." RK's voice choked with hurt that echoed in Madhu's ears. She looked up and saw on RK's face what she had been dreading.
"I...aa..."RK struggled to speak as he pressed his eyes tight and let the pain reverberate through him. The thought hadn't even crossed his mind, but now knowing that Madhu had feared he might question the child's parentage or not want his own child for some reason, the thought shattered him. Was he really such a monster? Madhu thought so, the same Madhu who had once compared him to God. Such were the consequences of broken trust!
"I am sorry Rishabh...I shouldn't have...I..."
"No Madhu" Rishabh opened his eyes "I did this to you...you, who knew me better than myself...you who only saw good in me when none existed...I hurt you so badly that you couldn't trust...that you...you believed..." RK sighed and paused "...I love you...I love my child. Our child. I...I cannot make you trust me again, but I will do anything to earn it back...please, please Madhu I beg you...give me this one chance...don't push me away from your and our child's life. I am not perfect...but I will be a better husband. I will be a good father, I promise. You don't have to love me, if you want. Just let me be close to my child, please. Don't you think our child needs a father?" Rishabh pleaded, squeezing Madhu's hands.
"I...I...you're right Rishabh. You have as much right on our child as me. I had become selfish...I am sorry. I want you to be happy. I really do. And I thought if I had to live away from you...I needed my child...I know I was selfish...I couldn't...I am sorry." Madhu broke down and Rishabh enveloped her in his arms. The two damaged souls craved for each other's warmth. The battle within had worn them both down for too long. They needed at least a few minutes of pause to stop fighting each other and to simply be in the only place they truly belonged, so despite everything, they held on to each other and fed on the battered remnants of love in their relationship.
"I am sorry" Madhu sobbed after a while, still hiding in Rishabh's embrace.
"No honey. I understand...it's not your fault. I am sorry...I did this...I screwed everything up. Please give me one chance. Let's start again. " RK spoke between sobs as well, gently patting her.
They broke away, and Rishabh wiped the tears off Madhu's cheeks and placed a kiss on her forehead.
Destiny wiped its own tears. Then, she decided to see this through. She couldn't risk having to live through this again. And so, leaving dust under Madhu's rug of comfort was no longer an option. Putting a bandaid on a bullet wound was no longer an option.
Madhu felt a known feeling returning inside her, something from another life. She looked at RK and felt a pang of passion mixed with a pinch of desire. She still loved him, there was no doubt. This was starting to feel good again.
But could she, something within her asked? Could she go back to that? She felt like an addict who had suffered through a long withdrawal in her attempt to quit drugs, but had just tasted a pinch of cocaine again. Was she relapsing?
The fear reared its ugly head one more time. The darkness, which had never really gone anywhere, rushed into Madhu's eyes, in its new job as Madhu's protector against repeating mistakes.
Madhu's breathe shortened and panic set in. Her unspoken fears rose through her throat and manifested themselves into a frightened, incoherent ramble
"I...I...can't...I can't Rishabh, I can't"
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