Chapter 4
Madhu gazed at the moon outside her window. Sleep evaded her eyes. She was feeling a kind of joy she didn't know existed in this world as her mind kept going over the events of the day. She was still astonished at herself for having said to Rishabh what she did, but she was glad about what had happened. And that Rishabh felt the same way.
Yes, she loved him! Loved, loved, loved him!
She never admitted it to herself, but over the past few days, she knew she couldn't stop thinking about RK, couldn't stop worrying for him, couldn't stop desiring him. And all this while, her biggest fear was that somehow, he would come to know how she felt. How it was somehow...wrong.
But it wasn't. It was just love. True, crazy, mad love. She was too scared to admit it, but her fear was unfounded.
"Yes, I love him. More than myself. More than anything anyone could ever imagine!"she told himself.
She smiled at how silly she had been, worrying he would find out. Well he did find out. And it was perfect.
But now what next? It was funny how everyone tells you so many stories about finding love, about falling in love, about confessing your love - but nobody explains what do you do after that. What exactly does happily ever after mean? What would happen tomorrow morning? Their relationship had changed by the events of today. But what did that mean? How would they talk to each other when they meet next time? Would things be like they had always been, or are they new rules for the game? And the relationship, what is the relationship? What does it imply?
And...what if...what if it didn't last?
What was she supposed to do if the relationship broke off? Not if, when. It was a question of when. Didn't most relationships break off at some point? She and Rishabh...they hadn't even known each other for a month! Yeah, it felt like they knew each other forever, but to be honest they both probably had friends who knew them a lot better than each other. And friendships drift apart all the time, then their relationship was so fragile and based on such a weak foundation. What would she do when Rishabh left her - Madhu couldn't help thinking. The thought sent shivers up her spine and she felt a stab of pain she hadn't anticipated.
"We will figure it out. Let's just live in the present moment. I love you honey :)"
Rishabh's words came back to her. His smile lit her heart and Madhu felt like she could breathe again.
"Do I trust him?" she asked herself. "More than myself" was the unequivocal answer her intuition gave her, putting her at ease.
With a conscious effort, Madhu brushed the scepticism away. She knew it was just her internal defense mechanism getting into overdrive, having taken a major hit today. The worries can be put off for now, she decided. It was fate, everything that had happened today. Their meeting was an accident of fate. Their falling in love with each other despite all odds was a conspiracy of fate. And the circumstances in which they had spilled their hearts today...it was their destiny and Madhu decided to accept it.
Madhu looked at the moon again, but only saw Rishabh's face in there. He was so breathtaking. His eyes reminded Madhu of the passion she had seen in them a few hours ago. His passion had devoured her, and the memory of those soul-stirring kisses gave rise to the same tingling sensation once again. Blushing, she tried to go back to sleep. If this was love, she didn't know why she had been running away from it all her life. And now that she was here, she would rather be here than anywhere else. All she wanted was this moment to freeze right here, right now. Who cares what happens tomorrow?
No! let time freeze when she was in Rishu's arms next, she suddenly thought and smiled. "Damn Madhu, go to sleep" she chided herself, sighed and slipped in a beautiful dream.
Tomorrow was going to be the start of a new phase of her life.
Their life.
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Next week
Madhu and RK sat across the table, both stealing glances at each other every now and then while pretending to study the menu. It was their first date, and they were sitting at a cozy restaurant that served great food. Madhu didn't want to go anywhere too fancy, and RK loved the food of this restaurant so they had both come here. The food was the last thing on either of their minds though. It had been a week since they had both admitted their feelings to each other, and what a week it had been!
They had decided to take it slow. Madhu said she'd like them to continue to be the wonderful friends they had become. She didn't want them to forget being friends who liked each other, understood each other and liked being with each other in the confusion of adjusting to being lovers. In fact, they hadn't told anyone yet - not even their friends - about their relationship! Madhu knew Trishna, her flatmate, suspected something, but she hadn't asked yet.
Neither RK nor Madhu had been in relationships before - neither of them in fact knew what love meant, and this way they gave each other some space to ease into this...this beautiful relationship.
That didn't mean everything was the same as before. If earlier RK thought being with Madhu made him happy, he now knew he was delirious with Madhu. RK had always been a nerdy introvert, but he found himself talking to Madhu as easily as if he had known her all his life. She made him feel...alive. Her voice, her laughter...no wonder he had spent so much time speaking on the phone with her - by his standards, he hated phone calls. Every day he discovered sides to Madhu he didn't know existed. He knew she was complex, that she had many layers to herself, but this daily discovery was exciting. They had met every other day at the book cafe after work, and even spent time sharing ice cream twice.
Hot chocolate fudge. Madhu loved hot chocolate fudge. Madhu tasted like hot chocolate fudge.
RK hit himself before he got lost in the memories of Madhu's taste. They had stole a few kisses now and then, but the memories of their first kiss was still fresh on RK's lips and had been tormenting his nights. Just like watching her now, sitting across from him at the table was driving him crazy. Did she know how beautiful, how irresistible she looked?
"What?" Madhu inquired, with a questioning look.
"What..umm what? What are you talking about?" RK recovered from his trance.
"You...why are you staring at me? Where are you lost mister?"
"It's your eyes. They're reminding me how deep they are if you look from really really close by. So close, there's not a bubble of air between your body and mine..."
"Oh my God! What's wrong with you Rishu? You've turned into a writer?"
"It's not me. It's you who's so beautiful I can't take my eyes off.."
"Oh my God! You've gone nuts!" Madhu smiled playfully, but her face had turned pink on RK's words.
"Yeah, call me crazy. But it's you and your love that has made me this crazy."
"Shut up Rishu!" Madhu chided, throwing her napkin at Rishabh.
"Oh my God!" RK suddenly yelled.
"What?"
"Oh shit...why are they here?"
"What happened?" Madhu asked, realizing that RK had spotted something behind her.
"They're my friends. They'd called me in the evening and asked for dinner. I refused saying I was going to work late tonight. But now they're here. I haven't told them about us yet, just like we decided. Shit, couldn't they go to some other restaurant?"
"It's ok. Don't panic. Sooner or later they'd find out anyway. For now just introduce me as your friend and say you got free from work and ran into me, and I dragged you here."
"Are you sure?"
"I am sure." Madhu said with a smile. "Call them. There's no way to avoid anyway. I'd like to know them too. I know Rohan. Who are the other people?"
"Well, the girl in red is Maya. She's my best friend. And the one in pink is Ria, Rohan's girlfriend. They've been together since college. I don't actually know the other guy."
"Ok. Call them here. I anyway wanted to meet Rohan and Maya. I have heard so much about them and I know they're so important to you."
"Yeah they are part of my life. They're my only close friends other than...well other than you." RK said with a smile.
"Go get them here. We'll get the waiter to serve everyone on this table."
"Ok" Rishabh got up to leave when Madhu stopped him
"And Rishu...after tonight, you can tell Rohan and Maya about us."
RK looked at Madhu to confirm.
"Are you sure?"
Madhu nodded and smiled.
"Yeah, I am sure. I will tell Trishna too. I think we are ready."
"We are?"
"We are."
"I love you honey."
"I love you too Rishu."
Kabhi Neem Neem Kabhi Shahad Shahad
