Posted:
Author's note: I'm a sucker for sad endings so don't hate me.
(yes I did write happy before but it was a typo LOL. I'm going to get killed now *sneaks away deftly*)
Previous SulBala works:
...
Words left unspoken...
15th April 2013
How I wish I could tell you how much I miss you right now.
How my eyes search for your shadow, the shadow which you couldn't bring yourself to trust but the shadow which gave me comfort.
How my ears yearn to hear your voice again, the voice which instilled fear in others but it was a medicine to my soul.
I can still remember the firmness of your hand when it had rested on my shoulder, the night you found me crying on the steps of the chawl after an argument with Mother. In the maze of my sadness I found solace in you, a solace which buried its way into my heart and locked itself in the pit of its quarters.
If I close my eyes, I can see your small smirk - the smirk which softened your eyes and crinkled your forehead slightly. It was a smirk reserved for Aryan's playfulness, Kaka's fatherly love for you - and perhaps, it could have been directed at me one day, if our destinies were different.
From the first day I set eyes on you, amidst the crossfire I was caught up in between you and a rival gang, something about you had drawn you to me. As I got closer to Aryan, I saw more of you in him. The gleam in his eye revealed your lost childhood. The small smirk which accentuated his dimples resembled yours. I became fascinated with the soulful little boy - and I became fascinated with you.
A dangerous fascination it was, for the clock in my head was always ticking. My mind would never stop working, never stop reminding me of who I was and where I would have to go back to eventually. Many times during my sleepless nights, I wished to remove myself from my identity - detach myself like one detaches a splinter from one's skin - and lose myself in a world where it was just you, me and Aryan.
A world where Aryan would bring smiles to our faces everyday. A world where I could hold your hand, feeling the warmth of your fingertips in my nerves. And a world where I could rest my head on your shoulders, and you could rest your head on my shoulders. My pain would be yours and your pain would be mine. My laughter and tears would be yours, and your laughter and tears would be mine.
But perhaps we were destined to suffer alone, rather than share our sorrows together. For you are Sultan, the embodiment of a fallen angel.
And I am Madhubala Kundra, still married to my husband and I cannot free myself from his shackles to live a life with you.
So I must return to the devil's den, for he asked for me to sacrifice myself or he would readily assist in sacrificing you. And I would risk myself for you anyday, because I love you and that is what a lover must do.
I can bear the torment of my suffering, but Aryan would not be able to bear the torment of losing you.
Yours forever,
Madhu.
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Yay or nay for a part 2? Let me know please!
Index:
Part 1 - above
Part 2 - Page 4
Part 3 - Page 6
Iss Pyaar Ko Kya Naam Doon
