Hey,
I moved your previous one for a reason, if you want to reply back,you should reply back on that TMs thread itself instead of quoting her and make a new thread based on her post.
Why? This is not in the rules. I quoted A topic. Her name wasn't mentioned. I have not broken any rules. Besides which, you posted a warning on another thread of mine regarding sarcasm but not her's? Hmmm?
I have a very good reason for making a new thread. On the whole, the different sides only watch and comment on the side they support.
What is my reason? I want those who liked rk before but don't anymore BUT STILL THINK HE IS NOT AN ABUSER to read what I have to say in response to some topics. They are unlikely to go to a rishbalian topic to read my response. I get plenty of pms telling me not to bother with this thread or that thread because all the posts there are supporting rk.
I hope its first and last time its done. You may disagree with the TMs but you have to respect her views and not target her opinion/post. The same applies for others too and not just you hence please co operate!
I have not targeted her opinion ANY MORE or less than she and others have other people's opinions! Quoting a topic without quoting the author does not constitute targeting it.I have replied to it:a) In the same manner and tone as her topic. b) put some very important information in it and most importantly...c) corrected a misconception in it.
She has objected because she got her facts wrong and the "don't like rk" side will know if I make it part of my topic. That is not in the rules as a reason to close a topic.
I disagree with you on the "respect her opinion" You will not believe the number of women who are expressing how they are a) in a similar situation to Madhu ie abused physcially and/or emotionally in real life and/or b) that they have been. It truly is shocking and heart rending. Some who have put it behind them and escaped, are telling me that watching this is like ripping the scabs of old wounds and them re-bleeding. Words of an abuse victim on this forum, not mine.
This girl who has made the topic "domestic violence against rk" has MOCKED them and all other abused women out there and ridiculed ANYTHING THAT THEY HAVE DONE TO DEFEND THEMSELVES OR ANYONE WHO HAS TRIED TO HELP THEM! Its just that I didn't cry "teacher" and hit the "report" button.
Why didn't I?
Because she has written what she has out of ignorance. She, like a lot of others on this forum do not know what domestic violence and/or abuse and/or controlling relationships are. And the are not all mutually exclusive to each other. A lot think that abuse is only rape, or physically hitting someone.
Definition of respect
noun
due regard for the feelings, wishes, or rights of others: eg young people's lack of respect for their parents
a) If I should respect her opinion? Considering I have no "deep admiration for her or her abilities, qualities or achievements" pertaining to her opinion on the behavior of the character rk.
b) "Due regard for her feelings and rights?" Where have I disrespected those? Where? Each and every incident she quoted as abuse of rk, I pointed out that it was in self defense or defense by another of Madhu. That is pointing out MY OPINION. Respect doesn't come into it. To the contrary what about the feeling or rights of abused women who read her topic? WHAT RESPECT HAS SHE SHOWN THEM?
Thank you!
PS! naughty_smile- FYI! She has full rights to stay here as much as you can. We cant tell people to get lost cause of difference in opinion!
It wasn't a naughty_smile, it was a wink. It was admiration for her for giving it a go! She pointed out some pretty bad things done by Shamsher, she just didn't understand that THAT isn't domestic violence! Next time she and the other girl who admitted that tv does have an influence and too cried "teacher!" will state something BETTER INFORMED. Why? Because they will hopefully find out a few facts first and in the process learn something. One hopes.
I WANT her and her "side" to stay here. I want ALL sides to stay because I WANT them to:
a)Watch this serial and whilst being entertained also recognise ...
b) emotional abuse, controlling relationships, recognize that self defense against abuse does not make the abused an abuser too! (a disturbingly common misconception on this forum)
c) that rape or a physical slap/hitting are not the ONLY forms of abuse.
And if no one does, then it still doesn't matter, because at least 1 in 4 girls will encounter abuse in a relationship. Yes that is the shocking statistic. I see and counsel women who have managed to get away, trying to pick up the pieces of themselves and continue to try and lead a normal life. A significant number are stalked by their husbands a la rk style. The are told by the man that they are sorry, that they love her, some women go back believing it, the abuse/control starts again...its just a cycle, it never stops. Some have lost so much of their self that they believe they can't manage out in the world without their husband even if they recognise the abuse and want to leave.
Some women who manage to leave, have breakdowns because they hate themselves that why didn't the recognize the emotional and psychological abuse for all this time.
If what I am pointing out in my rants/"moral science"/preaching/sarcastic topics/posts comes to mind to even ONE girl some time in the future, then its been worth it 😊
Where did I tell her to get lost or even imply it??? Show me.
Oh and only complain that this is a serial and only entertainment and Im getting too heavy if you have not been active on this forum rooting for one side or the other. If you have spent time and typing on admiring/supporting/defending either character then you have taken it just as "seriously" as I have and besides which spent more time than me -some of you are on here in this forum everyday. I touch type and this post has taken me all of about 12 mins to write.
Link below to the topic that got closed down and elicited this one
https://www.indiaforums.com/forum/madhubala-ek-ishq-ek-junoon/3535739/domestic-violence-on-rk-part-2
Here is a link from Canada, giving more information, for those who want to find out more now or in the future. The key thing is emotional abuse is very very common and the hardest to recognise when its happening to you.
https://deal.org/the-knowzone/violence/emotional-abuse/
Definition
The Government defines domestic violence as
"Any incident of threatening behaviour, violence or abuse (psychological, physical, sexual, financial or emotional) between adults who are or have been intimate partners, regardless of gender or sexuality."
Whatever form it takes, domestic abuse is rarely a one-off incident, and should instead be seen as a pattern of abusive and controlling behaviour through which the abuser seeks power over their victim.
Typically the abuse involves a pattern of abusive and controlling behaviour, which tends to get worse over time. The abuse can begin at any time, in the first year, or after many years of life together. It may begin, continue, or escalate after a couple have separated and may take place not only in the home but also in a public place.
Domestic abuse occurs across society, regardless of age, gender, race, sexuality, wealth, and geography. The figures show, however, that it consists mainly of violence by men against women. Children are also affected, both directly and indirectly and there is also a strong correlation between domestic violence and child abuse suggesting overlap rates of between 40-60%.
Abusers are in control of themselves when they abuse?
Despite what many people believe, domestic abuse is not due to the abuser's loss of control over his behaviour. Domestic abuse is a deliberate choice made by the abuser.
In the majority of cases the following can be said to be true of his behaviour;
- He is not violent with other people i.e. his boss
- He is able to stop and compose himself if the police arrive or the doorbell rings
- If he uses physical violence he is able to choose where to cause visible injuries - often in places where others can not see them
- He damages the victims possessions but rarely his own
Emotional or Psychological Abuse
Emotional or psychological abuse can be verbal or nonverbal. Its aim is to chip away at the confidence and independence of victims with the intention of making her compliant and limiting her ability to leave. Emotional abuse includes, humiliating, degrading, verbal abuse such as yelling, name-calling, blaming and shaming. Isolation, intimidation, threats of violence to victim or himself and controlling behaviour.
Many abused women define the psychological effects of domestic abuse as having a 'more profound effect on their lives- even where there have been life-threatening or disabling physical violence . Despite this, there is almost always pressure to define domestic abuse in terms of actual or threatened, physical violence.
Vasudha
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