I did not want to write this post but somehow I was not at peace. Usually I try to not let anything on this forum affect me cause this is not the first time I'm watching fandom wars, but somehow some of the posts got the better of me and I have to get it out of my system. I don't know how many would even read the post. Probably no one but that's okay as long as it makes me feel better. And yes I'm not forcing you to read so if you do its all your choice, beware it's a long one
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I'm a hard core Drashti fan and love her for who she is, for the way she carries herself. Love her attitude and her persona appeals to me and please don't judge me on that for this is my life and my choice. And you do not know me personally. So avoid the pain to yourself and to me.
Having said that, do I have any problems with VivD or even Gurmeet for that matter. The answer is a plain NO. I'm not a huge fan of theirs but I respect them both as actors and as humans. Both are hardworking and have created a name for themselves in this telly industry because of their hardwork and dedication. And mind you good looks and good physique is also because of their hard work, for not everyone can maintain that. (I know Gurmeet is not a part of this forum nor this show nor is it my intention to break the forum rules but I had to bring it here because his name has been referred to a during the blame games)
I know as I love Drashti, there are loads of people out there who love both VivD and GC. There are certain lot who have even taken the onus on them to be the self-appointed guardians of all these actors and actresses. What amuses me is the fact that we fight for them so hard against the other fans, totally forgetting that the sentiments we carry for the ones we love is what they carry for the ones they love too. So how can they be wrong? When you are not wrong in defending your favourites how can the other be wrong in defending theirs? And yet we try hard to prove to everyone that what I say is the truth and may your truth go to hell.
The personal grudges against each other is taken to a level that we start hating the actors for their fandoms. I mean seriously is it even logical to do so. We start abusing them in ways which is unimaginable (at least by me). And I wouldn't deny it, it hurts me. It hurts me when someone calls Drashti names, so when I try to place myself in the shoes of the other actor's fans I can feel their hurt too. I mean, so much abuse for a person who is doing what, trying to entertain you? Who is spending countless hours for getting an episode completed so that he/she can have a peaceful holiday? Who work when they are sick so that we get the daily dose of 30 mins? And please don't give me the crap that they do what they are paid for.
I feel the least we could do for them is alteast appreciate them for their efforts. And for that today from the bottom of my heart I want to thank Gurmeet for working when he was ill during Geet days, (the guy gave shots from his home), VivD for working and banking enough episodes so that fans don't miss RK, Drashti too for any of this wouldn't have been possible without her support and her hardwork is also something that is not hidden from anyone.
Another thing that amuses me is the way fans talk of the actors personal life as though they have met them personally, know them very well, probably even better than themselves and also feel that they have exclusive rights to discuss about their choices and give them suggestions on how they need to lead their lives. Tell them what is right for them and what is wrong. Really? Do they really need that? How would you feel if someone does the same to you? Its clearly violation of personal space but for an actor his/her life becomes a public property.
The fans are so well trained in understanding human nature that if Gurmeet does not wish Drashti on her birthday people lose respect for him, why because that's the least he could do and its rude and yet when he talks about Geet days during Jhalak Dikhlaja they say he is saying it all to woo fans so that they can vote for him? Think about it guyz, does he not have enough of his fans to help him win (which they have proved). So does he really need to woo any fans?
His choices, his wife is being abused day in and day out because fans love to perceive her statements the way they feel is right. I'm not saying there couldn't have been issues, there could have but do you know about it? Did they personally discuss anything with you? Have they abused each other in public? No right? The only thing they do is they are indifferent and thus fans take the liberty in perceiving their indifference the way they love to think about. Come to think of it, in the SSS interview on Star News even Drashti said it out loud that being a human anyone could be hurt with the abuses but she (read DB) understands and knows the profession well. So no issues.
And yet people who don't know the equation between them are ready to pounce on Drashti too and abuse her in the worst ways possible, making her responsible for stuff that is clearly not in her control. I shudder to even think of it the kind of abuses these ladies face. And yet they put it all behind them. Because the show must go on...
Some fans hate actors (read ViVah and GC-DB) for their PDA. Personally I too don't appreciate the PDA, but then think of it, don't you feel its their way of promoting themselves, infact don't you think its their way of telling their fans keep my affairs with co-stars at bay because I'm already committed or I have someone real to love so I don't need reel affairs? Think of it guyz it's a clear message. The poor souls work hard to give us perfect shots and yet when they achieve perfection and show some chemistry their fandoms give them a tough time with their wishful thinking. Because fans feel perfection cannot be achieved having some hidden feelings. And if someone is not committed lets try and link her up with everyone under the sun. Why because we have exclusive rights on their lives.
I personally feel these actors are not responsible for their behavior, rather its their fans who are, who have the wishful thinking and when they don't see things working according to their liking what do they do? Simple, ABUSE. Ultimately, the actors become cautious, they avoid interactions or any statements and the best part is fans then love to perceive their silence too in the way they like. Poor souls have not gone through enough that then these wild cats (read media) are all ready to pounce on them and get some gossip out. This virtual world has made people even more abusive and more irresponsible and insensitive. Because its easy to hide your identity. I feel sorry for them for this is not what they ever wanted. With this level of stress one can easily go mad and yet they take it in their own stride and keep on entertaining us. Why because the show must go on..
Coming back to the MEIEJ forum what has hurt me the most is the level of personal attacks and abuses that has no boundaries. So much so that people don't even think twice before dragging anyones family in the shit. It saddens me to say, is this what we are? Is this for real? Come on people, what are you making out of yourselves that too for actors who don't even know of your existence?
Today I'm not going to place a blame on anyone, I'm not going to say what VD fan does wrong or what DD fan does wrong because clearly the problem is from both the sides. Tali kabhi bhi ek haath se nahi bajti. So rather than finding faults with others try and see what you have done wrong. Introspect and realize how badly you may have hurt someone to provoke them to this level, and understand clearly that
- Not every person is the same. We all hail from different backgrounds, each one has his own sensitivity, understanding , maturity and sensibility.
- Opinions are for agreeing to and disagreeing in a civilized manner
- Criticism (in this context) is for improving
- Sarcasm is not funny.
- And lastly, One mans meat could easily mean other mans poison. So what could be fun for you can easily be foil for others.
I really hope we don't try to find answers to who started it first rather we find an answer to who can end it first. For clearly an effort has to be made to understand each other if we ever want to co-exist peacefully. And it's a request for one person's doings don't blame an entire fandom, don't be judgmental about everyone and for god's sake don't get on to abusing and degrading the actors or families for they clearly are out of all of this mess.
Disclaimer: I'm a hard core Drashti fan so for whatever you have read here, if anything offends you my princess is in no way responsible for that so please don't judge her or abuse her based on my post. Also my friends are not responsible for it so don't be judgemental about them too. This post is solely my thoughts and my views so bash me all you want to. Its me and only me who is responsible for this post.
Anupamaa
Kabhi Neem Neem Kabhi Shahad Shahad
