DOTW: A question of self confidence...

Hello all u lovely LRL-ians!!!😃 Well, I'm back with another topic for discussion!😊

Well,this week,we saw LRL touch upon a very important subject,and that subject was of the low self-confidence in todays youth. Well, while I was watching the show, lots of things seemed very familiar to me. I study in high school, and I see it happen everyday in front of me. The self-confidence of people gets crushed everyday out there. And its happened to me too. I mean, I admit I am not a someone whos terribly good-looking,and nor am I interested in make-up and stuff. But the thing is,if someone is like that,they're made fun of. The same happened with Ud,when he said, "Mujhe ladkiyon se zyaada gadgets mein interest hai..I can't help it." The fact is,he couldn't. None of us can help it.

But then,why does it become such an issue? And so much so,that a person's self-confidence is completely crushed because people make so much fun of him or her?

We have seen what kind of consequences it can cause. As highlited in the show,it can lead to a person taking the extreme step of committing suicide. And if not sucide,a person silently suffers. Their biggest strengths look like weaknesses to them, and they are just not able to find anything good about themselves.

In todays day and age,isn't it important for every single person to be confident of their own abilities? Isn't it important for them to know their strengths? But at the same time,they should be able to draw a line between confidence and over-confidence. But what is this line? Isn't over-confidence just as bad as not being confident at all?

We see this happening a lot these days. Either a person has lost confidence in themselves,or a person is just too sure of their abilities that they take things too casually.

What is the line between a persons confidence,and a person being over-confident?

How can someone who has no confidence in themselves gain it back?

I want to know what all of you guys think about these questions. I'll post in my views soon!😃

Hmm...good topic again....

Firstly i dont think Yudi'd issue had anything to do with confidence ...it was more of a vent out of frustration.....he still is confident...abt his career and life..its just that he is recognising his strenths....

Although i love the character of Yudi and dont want him to leave KMA...but in real life if a person is not physically strong enough and is more interested in the gadgets...he should be in the IT sector and not in the army....unless ofcourse he builds himself up...which Yudi clearly said that he does not want to do...he does not want to change....

Yudi is the first placed joined the army to escape his parents...thats the reason he gave on day1 .... i feel his parents are more responsible for his state......

But ill answer the question of confidence being crushed..... (this is in general...not wrt Yudi)

See self-confidence itself means believing in yourself irrespective of what others think....believing that you have some ability...so i dont feel anyone but you can destroy your SELF-CONFIDENCE...

I have always believed that a persons true ability is shown when he or she is tried and tested...whats the use of saying that you are self confident when you allow a bunch of losers to crush it....and if it is crushed i dont think you were ever confident of yourself....self-confident i repeat i abt believing in yourself when others dont......

Now if at all you lose confidence on yourself ( not becoz of others but becoz you stop believing in yourself)...the best solution is your parents,,,go to them...coz they are the ones who will believe in you when times get hard.....(most parents that is...)

The line btw confidence and over confidence is not thin....but yes over-confidence is just as harmful as being under confident..

Overconfidence again..is short lived....coz the person concerned tends to get complacent..... excess of anything is bad.....

PS..will edit my post later a little...right now i have slight fever so am a little delirious... 😆

nice topic to discuss .now a days i think ragging had became somewat less i dont say completely but it had sidelined in many of the cities.and more than this the concept of lack of confidence and overconfidence now a days most of the people r facing especially sudents and the result of these two will lead to either death or depression.especially the teenagers they r stuggling more with themselves.bcoz i think now many of them r giving their board exams and now they will enter in to new level which is college and highly diff.and here their trouble starts some of them will adjust to situation so quickly but some cant adjust to the situation.and they will think their is some prob in them and they cant be like otherones,they will get badfeelings like the entire fault is them and frens will also be new in coll bcoz we can expect that our school frens also chose the same choice which we do.so there will be lack in confidence instead of searching their abilities and making them their strength they will think of their defaults and it not only have an effect on their career but also in their personalrelationships and its effect will be entirely bad on a individual.
and its not the fault of anyone its the fault of our thinking bcoz the people who r playing pranks on others maynot understand wat its effect but when they knew that they had done a mistake they cant correct it.and it totally depends on a individual towards which topiocs he should pay attention bcoz its a compitative world so his/her wants to be a part of this world they have to pay less attention towards these issues.asyudi said"main kya karu sir nahi ye duniya mujhe samajti hain aur na main is duniya ko"they will face questions like this which will lead them towards destruction.
and overconfidence i dont think its that much harmful but ha if a individual thiks that he is superior and he can acheive anything they will face really majormentaldepression when they dont achieve that.and he will face the first prob lack of confidence.
and the relation between overconfidence and lack of confidence is that overconfidence always leads to lack of confidence

Well again a good discussion topic Cadet Preru.... 👏
I want to write a lot on it but my work doesn't allow me but still will share with u something which usually i don't like too...

First let me tell u what is self confidence .. i feel if u r mentally strong and brave then u can win the world with ur confidence but at the same time as we say excess of everything is bad so as over confidence toooo... which even u have the guts to achieve ur target byt still through over confidence u might land into trouble by committing errors and mistakes unknowningly...

If u look at the character of Yudi ..if u closely analysis his I feel he was more like a mama's baby, more childish innocent who was brought up in an environment where he didn't went from the tough experiences of life... which shows that Family upbringing , parents attitude and then teachers, peers and friends play an important part of transforming ur personality... he belonged to that family where status is more important he had all the luxeries and got a carefree time where there was no check ... i mean everything u get which u wish for and perhaps might be in his school he got a same thing too...the point what i want to say is that as he didn't went from any tough experience of his life he didn't handle the adversities of life ... I don't see if there is any confidence in him and this is just because of his enviroment he was brought up, his parents providing extra care and making him mama's baby and not letting him experience the aadverse and tough realities...had he tasted that he would have handle the prank in a different way ... he shouldn't have felt shame of not having any GF rather than becomming madoona.. i feel he is himself responsible for everything that happened to him rather i would blame his parents for all this

I feel unless and untill u cann't pass through the failures and tough drills of life u can't have confidence ... self confidence hona na hona to baad ki baat hai...

After reading all ur stories....even i felt like sharing 1...

If u all can c....or frends r da major cause of our depressed and doleful states...sumtimes I fell I dun need a frend at all...

You no wat...???...I m actually good at everything(dun gemme wrong...mujhe apne moon mithoo miyan karne ki aadat bikul nahin hain)...

I m a trained classical singer...and I dance well...I sing well...I talk well...balki u all wont believe...becoz of speaking abilites...as I m in KV(ONGC)...I got selected and got a chance to meest Sidharth basu...and he gave me a compliment..."Very good..u'll definetly go very high in ur life"...

Can u believe....SIDDHARTH BASU...da person who anchored India Child Genious...I mean he said 2 me.....nd myyyyy friends....yucksssss....(not all...very few)....

They were so jealous....and da only problem in me is dat I have a spex...and dey...dey jus need a chance...to call me"PADHAKU"...and wen teacher asked me wats ur aim...I actually wanted to go for Journalism and mass communication....wat was theri actual dialogue was...."haan haan...tu vaise bhi chapad chapad karti rehti hai...."

Can u belive da extent of jealousy....DAILY....DAILY...I used to get a compliment from my Sister Vinci(not my actualy sis...here sister means NUN...I did my schooling till 10th in a convent school named...St.Ann's..)...and daily they wd comment...on I dunno wat not....

One day I got frustrated and maine aisa jhada...aisa jhada...aisa jhada...u wont believe.....my words were..."What the f*** do u think of urself....u b***** a******.....jus mind ur own business...and dont dare 2 talk ill about me....or I'll speak more ill than I have done now....so jus f*** off...."

And till today they havn't tried to contact me....I dunno from where did I get da guts to speak like dat...I can say...my family

So...as far as Yudi is concerned....he was doing sumthing...which I guess I wud neva even think of doing in my dreams...which was wrong..and apna captain ne usse sab kuch samjha diya...

Swapna-Mobile 😳

Awesome topic Preru!!

I think if ur weak points r exploited beyond the tolerance level & ur strenghts r ignored completely dat definitely leads to low self Esteem & u tend to loose all ur confidence....

Every1 likes to b appreciated & dats something dat motivates u to do better & dat in turn brings u confidence....Even if u r tooo sure of something & absolutely confident on urself, u do need some1 to tell u dat....which may b just a reassurance of d sorts.

I'll give u a small example..during my skool days it was Teacher's day celebration goin on. I had d responsibilies of Incharge Ma'am & I was supposed to conduct d special assembly. I had this terrible phobia frm publlic speaking & I outritely refused doin dat...Bt Then I was given a four line introductory speech after wich d entire thing had to b handled by some1 else.I had those lines in my hand atleast 20 hrs b4 d assembly & in those 20 hrs I literally didnt do anything apart frm cramming dat.I was so nervous initially bt then I was confident dat I can do it since it was just 4 lines & 20 hrs of cramming went into it.I went on d stage & as I saw every1 lookin at me i went blank.Finally I closed my eyes & sed my own version of those lines bcoz I cudnt remember wat exactly was dat. Wen i came down frm stage I was shivering bt 1 of my seniors told me "U were tooo guuud...just like Ma'am herself".Honestly i cudnt even hear myself wen I was on stage bt those words felt so guud & I did went back to stage & did continue wid holding rest of d assembly!!!

Besides in teenage u do go thru certain changes-physical & emotional & ur environment decides how positive r those changes gonna take place in ur life.

Ud k case mein he wanted to imitate some1 else & he tried to b wat he was not.he didnt had dat level of confidence in himself & he fail to understand dat every person is different frm d odre in some way & its absolutely fine to b urself even if it means being odd one out!!

In short in building ur self esteem its not just ur attitude bt to some extent d attitude of d odres around u counts as well.Its upto u to decide whose opinion shud hve how much of importance...& then of course a need to draw a line between rights & wrongs is required!!

He Preru GR8 topic!!
Although this topic made me emotional bcoz of the things happened to me, I would love to share it , as well!!
Well, I'm dark, I've old accident scars on my face and that became a reason for my classmates and my seniors to tease me and rag me all the time in my school days!!
These things did affect me badly, to an extent that I went into depression and stopped going to school for a whole month!!
I would not go out , not talk to anyone , bcoz I was scared of another mental attack!!
Then my MOM (apna Capt.Rajveer😆😆😆) filled in so much confidence in me!!
It took her two long years to set me right and fill in the confidence in me to atleast face the world!!
Now the things are changed, but not completely!!
I'm in college now and I'm still a piece of joke to my seniors, there are same old reasons to rag me, but the only change is now,
I DON'T CARE
I think one's physical appearance really shouldn't matter and we have to give utmost importance to their inner qualities and not outer appearance!!
I think our Parents have the ability to bring in our lost confidence, bcoz I strongly feel that they understand us the best!!
But when I think about Kunal, I think not in every case U manage to get UR parent's support!!
If U R strong and matured enough to understand and face the world, then fine!!
If not??

Gr8 topic Prerna..... 👏
ok this has happened to me a couple of times n i'm goin to share wid u all...
I'm not frm Delhi...I've been living in delhi for a past 3 years before i was living in saudi arabia i was even born there i'm originally frm Bihar....In my school all the boys n some gals to call me biharan biharan .At first i ignored them but then this ignorance got the beter of me.....nd didnt even liked to come to school....I used to cry a lot..Once some of the boarders made fun of me in front of the whole school..I felt like commiting suicide but my parents were really supportive nd thay say it dusnt mater where u belong frm..it maters wha kind of person are u...this helped me face it.....And u know i really dont care it....I dont need to prove anyhing 2 them..I'm not at all ashamed frm where i belong..........
I agree wid ranju..physical appearance or anything dusnt matter at all...Ur parents know u ..ur close friends know u thats all..

I feel that everyone at some point or the other in their lives have come across problems which have tested their confidence...

For instance I studied in a school which had a very very cosmopolitan crowd..We had lots of foreigners and I guess that my friend and I were the only 2 people from my community...

This sometimes became a cause of ridicule...We were always reminded by some nasty students that we were not like them...

But then we didn't pay any heed to whatever they said...They realized that we day scholars were the ones who proved to be of greatest help to them...When they were fed up of their monotonous hostel food its we who came as saviours and came up with good home cooked food...

So in live there are situations where people try to put u down...make u feel inferior or imcompetent...But each individual has a unique gift from God..which has to be tapped and which makes one completely different from the other...

For example Yudi has this ability to spread cheer around...Everyone can't posess this quality..Its very easy to be a good looking stud/girl but its very hard to make people around u happy and cheerful...

So for the cadets who thought of Yudi as a misfit in their gang..someone who couldnt match upto their standards were actually of no use themselves...

So I feel that God has given something special to each individual and we should find that and make people realize that we are confident and not inferior to anyone... 😊

haila sheru aajkal bahut charged lag rahi ho kya baat hai 😆 nic topic yaar 👏

even i suffer from low confidence pata nahi kyu 😕 koi kami nahi hai touchwood 😭 i am too pessimistic n under estimate myself 😡 i get nervous n feel tht i can't do thg properly 😭 but we need to change n belief in our ability otherwise we could never achieve our goals in life 😃