Chapter nine: Remnants of an untold story
Date: 8th June 2014
Time: 7.15a.m
Place: The Honeymoon Suite, Marriott, Paris
Mood: Bittersweet
Nakusha had awakened early, but even so she was late. Dutta had somehow gotten up, showered, changed and left all without her even realising. At first panic set in, she assumed he must have packed his stuff and gone. Didn't that always happen with them? They never got to say goodbye. Never. They would always just bump into each other randomly, as though something was pushing them together, but then without even realising it they would be torn apart. It had happened all those years ago in Phuket, by the time Nakusha had finished the phone call the bus had left and she had to catch a lift with one of the search and rescue teams.
Even Sydney. Especially Sydney. Nakusha still cringed when she thought back to how they had left things then. She had practically sprinted down the hall, hoping that she would be quicker than Dutta. That by the time Dutta would step out she'd be able to move away so that he wouldn't see them together. But alas no, Dutta had seen him. Dutta had even seen them. Dutta had seen a lot more than what Nakusha had hoped.
She could still feel that gaze of his on the back of her head. As though it was peering directly into her soul. Even today after all these years she still felt that odd sensation: a mixture of confusion and pain. That sense of guilt. Even today, that thought tightened her chest. Even today, when so much had changed.
But of course it was their last meeting that still rang hollowly in her ears, that still made her feel queasy. She knew if she closed her eyes she could feel those raindrops on her skin again, she knew if she willed herself she could feel the entire presence all over again, the soft chiming of the wind, the distant roar of celebrations, the dimming sunlight. She knew all she had to do was close her eyes and she would be back there again. She would be stood, near that tree again, that she'd hear Dutta calling out after her as she turned to walk away;
"Rosie, stop. Ros.."
"Don't use that name! You've lost all right to call me that."
She could see the hurt wash all over his face, and just like that with a jolt, Nakusha shivered.
Forcing herself out of her memories, she turned to look at her phone that lay next to her. She had deliberately not turned it back on after the flight. She knew that this way she could at least buy herself some time before she had to do the inevitable: see her jerk. She had prayed hard and hoped with all her heart that he wouldn't follow her to Paris. But even so she knew she had to do something in case he did. Switching her phone off had been the easier part, the other thing she had done. The one she didn't even tell Dutta about-albeit she knew in her heart of hearts she should have-she hoped wouldn't come to light. But if need be, at least she had it.
Sighing deeply, she picked up her glasses that lay on the bedside table along with her watch with nothing else to do; she decided showering was her only option. A cold shower in the middle of summer, maybe that would bring her to her senses. As she eased herself off her bed, kicking aside the empty Pizza box her frustration at Dutta ran deep.
Idiot,' she scowled.
How was she supposed to know that he didn't have any children, or that it was a sore point? But more than that, what had actually happened:
She's not in my life anymore'
Those had been his words. But what did they mean? He still wore his ring. That same ring that still caused a pang in her heart, just like it had the first time she saw it on his finger all those years ago. But she wasn't in his life anymore. Was he divorced? Separated? Nakusha frowned as she unzipped her suitcase.
But if he was divorced or separated then why did he still wear his ring? It didn't matter how many different angles she tried to see the situation from, in the end she circled right back to where she started:
What did he mean?'
Nakusha had been so preoccupied with her thoughts that she hadn't even realised that the suitcase she had been rummaging through wasn't hers. She had placed her own by the window; the night before, this one which was already half unzipped was resting on the sofa set.
It was Dutta's.
Here's still here' she thought as she placed his t-shirt back.
Happiness, followed by relief and then for some unknown reason hope washed over her. But whatever joy she was experiencing soon lapsed when she realised where she was.
Stop it Nakusha, don't go down that lane again!' she reprimanded herself as she headed for the bathroom.
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Date: 17th July 2012
Time: 11.40p.m
Place: Room 312, Mansfield Castle Hotel, Scottish Highlands
Mood: Guilty
"YES!"
Baji screeched obnoxiously, as he punched the air;
"Clean sweep, bhau!" He yelled, as he rushed forward to scoop all the chips off the table into a large pile before him.
Dutta merely scowled, he had folded. Baji had called his bluff. It is one thing to watch a sore loser in action but BajiRao? Baji was what you would call a sore winner. He would obnoxiously rub it in to no end that he-and not anyone else- had just won the poker game. A feat that Dutta had noticed Baji had gotten from his father. Both father and son were carbon copies. In fact if anything Dutta was sure that if Baji grew a moustache and dyed his hair a faint grey shade he would look exactly like Mr Rao senior.
"Look and that and weep old man!" Baji continued chiding his father, who sat there arms crossed, ignoring Baji, and pretending as though he didn't exist;
"Huh, Kishore did you hear something? I could've sworn a heard a mouse squeak." He queried looking at his son in law. Baji merely scoffed as he began building a tower of his chips.
"Mine, mine, all mine." He sang aloud childlike.
Dutta continued watching Baji celebrate his win, reminding everyone around the table how much they had lost that night, and couldn't help but smile a little. Indeed how his best friend had come a long way, from the tiny dimple clad boy with a missing front milk tooth (the result of being at the receiving end of Dutta's homerun, of course Baji's tooth had grown back,) to the shaggy haired, skinny teenager who had taken the blame and reprimand (more than once from Dutta's mother for the funny smoke she could smell coming from Dutta's room,) to finally now: a grown man, a successful business man on the verge of his wedding.
Baji was all set to tie the knot tomorrow to his long term girlfriend, in what was fast becoming the most meticulously planned grand destination wedding. All of which of course was Baji's sister's doing. Being in the whole event planning business just like Baji's mother, it was no surprise that when it came to their son and brother's wedding: Shashi Maushi and Kala Tai would pull no stops.
"Drink? I'm parched." Kishore asked Dutta while shaking his head at his brother in law: Baji who was still basking in his glory.
"Just another beer." Dutta responded, while holding back a smirk at what Kishore had just whispered to him, but loud enough for Baji to hear;
"Go ahead rub it in, little fella, but do pal ki kushi hain, kal ke baad, bas ansoo hi ansoo."
Baji stopped smiling, glaring at his brother in law; Kishore who was now grinning, he added sneering;
"And you speak from experience, ey Kishore babu."
"You should know I married your sister." Kishore responded before the two erupted into a raucous laughter. Dutta couldn't help but laugh at the two fools before him too.
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"Ok, I'm turning in too." Kishore spoke at last, an hour later.
"Turning in or being summoned?" Baji chided Kishore, whilst producing his infamous dimple, the result of which was a slap round the back of his head from Kishore who flashed him a cheeky grin before leaving Baji and Dutta the last of whom remained in Baji's room.
"Another drink?" Baji asked, making his way over to the mini bar.
"No, and I don't think you should either, aren't you supposed to be saying your vows in a few hours?"
"Relax, the way Tai has everything planned I'll be long sober by then!" He winked, as he settled himself on the couch with his glass of scotch.
Dutta merely shook his head at his best friend.
"So are you going to tell me now, or directly introduce me?"
"What are you on about? Char gayee?" Dutta amused, as he straightened up, he'd barely managed to get out of the chair he was sitting in before Baji spoke;
"Your wife."
Dutta froze.
"I dunno what you're talking about." He responded back almost robotically.
"Oh, so wearing a gold band on your left hand is just fashion is it?" Baji mocked.
How had he seen it? Dutta had been strategically hiding his hand this whole time. So far no one had found out, he was hoping of keeping it that way, well until the wedding at least. But course the wedding had arrived. What was he going to do now?
"Ow," Dutta was pulled out of his thoughts when Baji punched him.
"I get that you don't like grand parties but DUDE why was I not invited to your wedding." Baji spoke, Dutta could detect the hurt in his voice.
"It's not like that..." Dutta began but Baji interrupted him:
"So you're not married?" Baji insisted.
"No, I mean yes,"
"Well which is it? Married or not?"
Dutta exhaled sharply. He knew he would have to have this conversation at some point. Heck his wife was here for the wedding. He couldn't hide it. Baji's accusative looks, made Dutta feel guilty. He felt ashamed. He should have kept his best friend in the loop. He should have told him everything. He should even tell him about her...
Dutta suddenly stopped where his chain of thought was headed. No he had made a promise to her, they wouldn't say anything, not until they knew the full story themselves, not until they had confirmation themselves. Oh how Dutta wished the results would be negative.
"I'm waiting." Baji responded, watching Dutta closely.
Dutta suddenly became well aware of how accurate his best friend was at reading him and so spoke, barely above a whisper;
"It's a long story."
"I have time."
Dutta couldn't help but smile a little, he was sure his eyes had watered somewhat. Now he really felt ashamed. How did he go behind his friends back and do all of this. The same friend who was with him through thick and thin. The same friend who gave him years of normalcy and sanity amongst the Patil lifestyle that Dutta could not live up to.
"Why don't you start from the beginning?" Baji compassionately said to him, as both he and Dutta settled on the couch.
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"There you have it the full story." Dutta finished,
Baji let out a low whistle, raking his hand through his hair (a common feat of his) he looked up at Dutta, still lost for words.
"Yep." Dutta responded, knowing full well what his best friend must have made of the entire situation.
Clearly Dutta was in a pickle and now Baji knew it too.
"Wait, she's here?" Baji eventually spoke, as if the idea had just struck him.
Dutta nodded.
"Here, here as in the castle? For the wedding?"
"Yes she exists in this earthly realm but for the purposes of your question. Yes. She's here. She's my plus one."
"Your wha..." But whatever Baji was about to ask he stopped as he suddenly remembered that his sister had been in charge of the invites and while all the Patil's were invited-no questions asked (after all they were like family) considering the infamous 2008 showdown or rather the aftermath of Roops' wedding, between the Patil men that had reached many ears in their social circle, it was now written in stone that Dutta was no longer part of the Patil clan.
Ergo, Kala sent him his own invite and since she didn't believe in the whole single life she made sure each invite had an automatic plus one. Besides Dutta was Baji's best friend and best man. Invite or not he would be there. With bells on. Definitely with bells on.
"I should probably have told you." Dutta began feeling another tide of guilt wash over him.
"How did you sneak her in is the bigger issue man. You're going to have to tell me. Especially if I plan on keeping what we did on my bachelors party last night a secret from Haya for as long as I shall live." Baji half laughed, picturing an absolutely stubborn Dutta secretly checking in a person into the castle without anyone realising and then recalling what his fiance's reaction to his party last night would have been.
Dutta began chuckling too remembering all too well what had actually gone down a few hours ago. After all Baji was getting married, he couldn't just have had a boys poker night could he?
And just as Baji was recreating the image of Dutta acting as a complete ninja, the thought suddenly struck him.
"Wait a minute. Wait!"
Dutta held his breath, he had begun counting down to the moment the penny would finally drop for Baji. And lo and behold it had.
"You know spilling the beans here won't soften the blow."
"Spilling the beans?" Dutta mocked, internally laughing at his friend's choice of words.
Indeed it didn't matter how old Baji would get he would forever remain a man-child.
"You know what I mean." Baji informed him sternly
"They'll still explode." Baji continued.
"By they' I take it you mean Mom and Dad."
Baji merely looked sympathetic. If anybody knew about the rift in the Patil family then it was him. After all he'd spent years being the middle man when it came to all the so called black tie events' Mrs Patil with the expertise of Mrs Rao would set up to keep up appearances. Of course Dutta showed up to most of them, (thanks to Baji) but that was until Dutta graduated and began doing the one thing he had always wanted to in life: live.
"Don't worry about them, they're my headache not yours. You just enjoy your big day!" Dutta reassured Baji, slapping him encouragingly on the back.
"And for the record, I'm not trying to upstage you or your bride at your wedding. I just know my folks, image is everything for them. There is no way in hell that they'll blow up, well not externally, or in public. Although I am kinda looking forward to see that vein pulsate on Daddy dearest's forehead." He slyly added noting Baji grin somewhat before jokingly continuing
"Ten bucks say it does within the first minute of seeing his daughter in law."
This made Baji laugh.
"Kanjoos. Just ten bucks."
"I'm now a poor man Baji, as you obnoxiously reminded us all!" Dutta mocked, joking along.
"Yeah right," Baji chided back pointing to Dutta's Rolex.
"But seriously, I'm with you on this." Baji added seriously.
"You are?" Dutta questioned, genuinely surprised.
"Yes! Why wouldn't I?" Baji replied back equally as shocked at his friends lack of belief.
"I was kind of hoping you'd tell me what a ghaddah I've been by jumping the gun." Dutta spoke sheepishly.
"There's no point in me telling you something you already know." Baji reasoned, as he twirled his near empty glass in his hand.
Dutta merely looked at Baji. It was clear, he felt the same way.
Indeed Dutta had jumped the gun. There were no two ways about it. But with the information he had, he thought it was the right thing to do. The gallant thing to do. Did he regret it? Did he now regret his decision? His marriage?
Dutta preferred to not answer those questions, partly because he didn't know the answer to them, but mainly because he was afraid of what his answers would be. As they say: he made his bed they day he said I do' now he must lay in it. Even if it hurts.
Baji had now got up and returned with an empty glass, passing it to Dutta he poured them both a drink, and raised a toast.
"To new beginnings."
"To new beginnings" Dutta echoed, while Baji added before taking a sip;
"Que sera sera."
Dutta almost choked on the drink, when suddenly those same piercing green eyes flashed before his face. He felt his heart swell up as the image of her rosie cheeks swam before his eyes, but whatever jolts he was feeling stopped as he recalled the last time he'd seen her. In the arms of another man. Being kissed by another man. And just like that Dutta went back to feeling that awful ache that he'd grown accustom to these past four years.
Four years. Just thinking of how long it had been made Dutta want to slap himself.
Get a grip man, she's taken.'
Then Dutta really wanted to slap himself.
What am I doing? I'm taken.' He remembered as he looked at his hand again.
Outside it had begun raining. It may have been the middle of summer, but it was also Scotland. Not exactly Athens and whitewashed villa's. It had an odd choice really when Baji had told him that he was getting married in Scotland, but once he met his best friends fianc it all made sense. She was Scottish. A Scottish doctor to be precise who now resided in New York. In fact thinking back to how they had met made Dutta chuckle; it could easily have been a Mills and Boon love story. After all it's not every day your patient with the broken leg repeatedly hits on you and then even more bizarrely succeeds.
Dutta had moved away from the couch, where Baji had now passed out, he made his way over to the large window. He could hear the patter of the rain against the window. He felt somewhat at peace with the sound. Indeed it was an oddly calm night. The type which often precedes a storm.
Storm indeed.' Dutta thought, knowing full well what tomorrow would bring.
Off in the distance, he could see some of the guests arriving. It may have been raining but it was definitely a clear night. It wasn't unusual for guests to arrive the night before, (wasn't that how Dutta has snuck in his wife?) although most had already been here a week, for the sangeet, mehndi, haldi and God knows what other traditions that didn't take Dutta's fancy, there were still a few guests who would merely be here for the wedding and so it made sense for them to check in the night before.
The car's headlights turned off, Dutta could make out two silhouettes. He assumed they must have been a couple, (not surprising considering Kala was in charge) one was rather tall while the other petite. But what piqued Dutta's interest was how seemingly although together they looked miles apart. He could gather from the posture of the shorter person (who he figured must have been the lady) that she wasn't comfortable. If Dutta didn't know any better he'd have assumed she was moving away from the guy. The fact that she hadn't taken his hand when he opened the car door for her was one indicator but the way she made sure not to walk too close to him, amused him somewhat too.
But whatever Dutta was noticing soon stopped when he heard Baji snore loudly. Realising that it was time he left, Dutta, helped his now sleeping friend into his large bed and quietly left the room, chanting the mantra his best friend had said earlier that made his heart ache somewhat.
Que sera sera, indeed. I wonder what you'd make of my situation Rosie.'
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*Till next time ;)*