Mishal Raheja
as Dutta
Out of my hands
Part 6
All night, Dutta pours his heart out on sketch paper , till his room ends up being a never ending expression of what he saw of her and encapsulated in his imagination. There lay semi furled sepia crackling manuscripts of Nakusha's etched face all over on his bed; on his wooden coffee table. So preoccupied with his handy work and her face is he , that he pauses from time to time and looks deep into her etched enlarged doe eyes..
He pulls his full lower lip into his mouth and muses.. tere ankhon ka green color dosroon ko nehin nazar aye ga.. ,pun mujhe nazar ata hai.. what a privilege! that almost like a conjurer I can create Nakusha before myself! should I then consider myself blessed?
He gazes at one of her sketches, and concludes, he is both blessed and humbled.. soo.. Dutta you'll never walk alone in love he mutters.. This face is, as he once read somewhere, "a thing of beauty is a joy forever" he extends his slender fingers to sense the imagined peachy suppleness of her skin. Alas! if only he can contact the delicate , yet well-defined chiselled features of her face.. but for now there exists an unrequited desire within him, as all he can trace is the slippery smoothness of the paper, that lacks the energy of life.
Unfulfilled, he moves away from the manuscripts and stands with one shoulder propped against his French doors that open onto his terrace area. With a furrowed brow, he looks ahead into space as if seeking for answers. Not finding any, he casts his eyes on his wide palms.. and gets the response for his restlessness. Out of these hands came her illustrations.. but two dimensional! Now they prompt in him the wish to feel.. only her face.. to bring to fore front his tactile senses. A slow spin away from the French doors, and he walks to his turquoise sofa and slouches at one end. This feeling is a little too soon, he reasons, but what of his covetness?
Baji sticks his head through the door and catches Dutta, somewhat fatigued, with his head rested against the sofa back, and his long arms extended on either side of the sofa back..
"penny for your thoughts Bhau?.. you haven't turned in? I thought the spirit was enough to transport you in the land of nod..
Dutta turns his contracted eyes and drawls," hummm the spirit did take it's effect but not to lull me to nocturnal realms, but to the regions of an agitated imagination.. kuch dissatisfaction hai Baji"
Baji revolves his eye balls around the room and responds, after scanning the sketches Dutta had churned out hot of the press as it were.
"hain itne kuch statements bhi de de hain tune.. Nakusha ke khoobsurati par! aur your imagination is still suffering from indigestion! If you ask me Bhau, just be wary that one can't take any one on face value.. now take me for example.. when you fed me years again, a poor little beggar boy.. could you tell by my cute dimpled face ,that I was a pickpocket? a chalak lotecha kerna wala lardka!"
Dutta lets his mouth drop and replies lazily.."woh teri halat dekh ke mera dil ah gaya tha Baji.." he confesses.
Baji claps his hands together and bounces off the answer,"yehi tu main bol raha hai.. it's a matter of the heart.. just by looking at my pathetic state , I made it straight to your heart! dekh Bhau , all I am saying is that looks can be deceptive.. till one doesn't know the person well enough one cannot vouch for the kind of person he or she may be"
Dutta sits up and brushes his palm to dismiss Baji's views, "Baji why can't you accept that she is a beautiful girl! pleasing to the eye.. why are you preoccupied with her character? tu bata uski beauty phele nazar ati hai, ya us ka character? waise personality wise she's not bad either.. coy, very feminine.. and one thing I like about her Baji.. kum bolte hai.."drawls Dutta sporting a dreamy glaze over his eyes.. but he abruptly checks his confession and hauls himself on his feet and moves to his bed, bends and gently holds up her sketches out to Baji and announces unexpectedly..
" Baji I want to feel her face with my hand!
Baji's eyes nearly pop out of their sockets, and he gently thumps the back of his head and pokes his finger in his ear, to check his auditory senses.. has he heard correctly? Bhau, talking shocking and outrageous stuff unfit for decent ears..
" hooo ho.. stop Bhau!tum kya touch waach ke baat kerte ho? marwana hai kya.. Seema ma'am se..? aisa soocha bhi kaise tum ne ?aur jaise ke woh tumhe... ummm .. nope can't say the word, winks Baji.
Dutta with a shake of his head, gripes, "shut up! jab bole ga nautanki kare ga! I meant change the medium of expression.. sketch se sculpture...free standing sculpture! It gives more scope to view the artistic statement from all angles as opposed to just the one that beholds the eye in two dimensional art. One can also feel the emotion behind the piece of art.. like the beholders touch breathes life into an inert object"
Baji nods and then gives a roughish smile.."haan, I suppose when you put it in refined terms then look , touch..ummhh aur feel doesn't sound so gross..
Dutta folds his arms across his chest and snarls at Baji.."only one thing to say to you , flush that one track brain of yours!.. Nakusha aache lardki hai us type ke nehin.."
Baji turns around and smiles,"good to hear ke is ke beauty ka fever has come off you Bhau, and you are looking for other things in her apart from how she looks! and with that Baji gives him a mock salute, and supresses a yawn and retires from his mate's room with a thought in mind..
Baji, a speck adrift, enters his room and scratches his head, then moves to his mirror and looks at himself.. slowly he mumbles, "Kya yaar Bhau? tu is Nakusha ke peeche latto ho gaya hai.. kya ree Baji rao.. first time teri life main bhi competition aya hai..woh bhi ek dum item choori!
But he stops himself and moves away from the mirror and admits to himself, "areee Baji mana pare ga, lardki aache hai, bas thek hi rehe, Bhau has never fancied any girl before, he sure deserves the best.. if she is that best..
~~~~~~
Dutta walks towards his studio, yet his eyes scours the grounds, certain areas that converge to his studio. All the pupils he desires not to meet , invariably come across him , engaging him about some useless, totally unrelated subjects like, "Dutta , did you see such and such a film? His usual ward off is of course his aloof..."if you excuse me, I have loads of work to do , but I am sure my close confidante Baji may be able to shed light on your query" Baji in all his good sense, and well-meaning would always be around to be the protective shield for his Bhau, shoo! shooing! giddy girls from getting to close to him.
Dutta on many occasions suggests to Baji to formally join the art school.. maybe in the area of textile designing, keeping in mind that Baji is a lover of bold batik print kurtas! but Baji always declines the idea and insists, that he comes to the art school simply because he cannot refrain himself from shadowing Bhau. What with Bhau now showing a bit more interest in his subject Nakusha , it only stands to reason that he keep an eye on how things shape up between his Bhau and this pretty subject. For Baji is perpetually aware that Bhau submerges in his work to such a degree, that he easily over looks issues like wandering eyes hungry for unwarranted pupil chinwags.. there is no debate in the school that Bhau's conduct, his dress mode kurta ,dhoti, and above his talent raises him a lot higher before the other pupils of the school.. hence it is a requirement that Bhau be graced by the likes of a true companion like Baji.. hamesha.. ~~~~~~~~
Once inside his studio, the first few actions Dutta does is to pin up! box clip! board pin! sketches of Nakusha that he did the night before. For now it seems, that in her nonexistence in his studio so far.. her eyes will still trail his moves across the studio. He had decided what he would do now, so he grips hold of the tripod wooden base gets it ready, props upon the armature. It's skeleton -like stiff wire frame, curved like sphere on the top, held up on a tube like stiff wire.. i.e for the neck, and a curved base.. which will form the shoulders, all ready to attempt the stimulating task. His restless eyes shift to ensure that all this is in a well lit corner of the room for light will aid in bringing out the correct depths..in the right places upon both her features and expression..
Finally he checks and ensures his collection of tools, varied chisels, tooth flat, pointed ones in particular sizes, are cleaned of any residue of previous moulding material and finally his set of hammers, again in various sizes and weights! All set he looks at his resources in satisfaction.
He would need the fine white plaster of paris to pack and mould upon the armature and he alongside arranges the tools he would need..but he stops midway and glares at the door. well her punctuality leaves a lot to be desired.. when the hell does she plan to turn up? he would hate for the light to go. Bored he moves to the little kitchenette to make himself a simulating mug of tea. He presses the on button, and in no time, the kettle churns and gargles! till finally with a loud snap! it switches off! accompanied by hissing puffs of steam from the spout.
Click! goes the studio door..as it heralds the arrival of Naku. Dutta spins his neck and narrowly darts a sided look at her, then grabs hold of the handle of the kettle and growls..
"and what bloody time do you call this Nakusha ? I am about to have my elevens! this will not do! I have other commitment to deal with too, besides you! " he growls, and then holding his mug of tea he slowly spins around and faces her.. and before he sips his steaming cuppa .. he observes her, dressed in a olive green simple cotton churridar suit, simple but oh so nice.. but as usual he waits for her to response to his question.
Woh, DP, kuch kam tha, I was cooking, ye main aap ke liye laien hoon.."she mutters shyly, moves forward and holds upon her palms a circular ,closed container.
Dutta lowers his eyes on the object, and much taken aback he doubles his chin, and mutters, "giving teacher bribes won't let you off the hook , kya hai ye sab?he asks suspiciously,
Ye? she says with a beaming smile, "puran poli hai, maine buniye hai , aap ke liye..try karien? She invites him ,as she opens the container and offers the fare.. the delicious inviting smell wafts and Dutta, gingerly, moves over to the kitchenette area , where before he can count to three ,she was busy dishing it out for him to taste. He looks at her keenly and folds one hand behind him and spreads out the other palm before her.. and sure enough with a giggle she places it on his wide palm.
Looking down at the fare, he breaks a tiny morsel with his fingers, pops it in his mouth and chewing, he swallows and, comments in the middle of helping himself to the second morsel.."aacha hai.. so you can cook as well? he asks with a twinkle in his eyes..
Naku nods her head vigorously,"haan! for sure, meri Aye bolte hai ke lardki ko khana banana zarror ana chaiye.. she says the way to a man's heart is through his stomach..
Aww,,cough!cough! chokes Dutta at her final clichd words.. and gulps as she runs and gives him a glass of water.. embarrassed he takes a sip and then apologetically confesses,
"I think bhaut jaldi mein I ate , so choked, but Nakusha , you cook well,, however , what if the man you get linked with already knows how to cook.. tab kya kare ge tum?
Naku expands her eyes and, exclaims..aap khana bana laite ho ? and then goes mumb when she realizes she let herself in a silly situation that insinuates that he may be the man for her.. sure enough he rebuffs her..
"hain? mera cooking ka issue kadher se ah gaye hain?..no! I can't cook to save my life.. like most blokes around here, I prefer to be with a woman who can look after my gastronomical needs" he reveals, as he blinks his eyes and hands her the plate.. but feels he should give her some of his flexibility of attitude about the subject too..
"Waise , if a man can cook.. then it should be considered that woh survival ke liye kuch bhi kare ga.. and also that he makes use of nature's goodness in terms of nutrients and a variety of hues and shapes.. he reflects.
Naku hanging on his every word, adds in with pure innocence ,"provided woh insaan vegetarian ho.. haina DP.. that's where you see colour in tomatoes, potatoes, aubergines , carrots!
Dutta smiles and enhances.."you forget to cover green vegetables.. peas, beans... although green is a secondary colour.. he, instructs and she nods haan, green.. and Dutta lowers his eyes and looks away from her face but still comments,
"hummm, green like your eyes.." and then after a pause he asks, "does your Aye have green eyes too? or your babaa may be?
"nehin tu! unke ankhien dark brown or black hain! I tell you DP, I too quiz my parents , how come my eye colour is completely different from theirs? koi jawab nehin hai unka pas.."she divulges.
Dutta gives a slow chuckle and responds, "you are a distinct piece , may be from a different planet? this is enough for Naku to go into titters again, so Dutta nods his head and inserts, chal, ho sakta hai tere fore fathers main koi ho jinke green eyes hoon?
Naku looks into his lion like eyes, and shakes her head helplessly ,"seems my green eyes have made quite an impact on you..but kya karoon have to live with them! and then to change the subject she looks around at her sketches and her mouth drops..
"haila! main aise dekhte hoon kya?.. and oh! so many of me! she brings her palms together rolling her eyes.
Dutta shifts his eyes on her face and clarifies,"you seem disappointed.. mera kam pasand nehi aya thujhe Nakusha?
She blushes and, showers him with praise,"no DP they are a true likeness of me! errhh. I don't quite know what else to say..?
"if you think you can identify yourself with them.. then that's commendation in itself Nakusha.. but I would rather experiment with another medium myself..? and he moves to the packets of plaster of paris.. pours the fine powder out in a basin, pulls up both his kurta sleeves.. but they slip down..
Naku watches him, and moves to him, and before he can speak.. she begins to neatly fold the sleeves of his black muslin kurta.. Dutta moves his head to one side and with a firm mouth just watches her fair slender fingers gradually tuck his sleeves right up to his elbows.."pata hai , my babba used to fold my sleeves , when I was a toddler, then as if by destiny, Aye Sahib took over the roll.. even now when I am disheartened and dismayed, I have but to go to her, and she unfolds the creases of my life.." Dutta discloses pensively.
Naku notices the tremendous devotion DP has toward's his foster mother and she forms an opinion about him, that this man gives credence to formed relationships.. she gulps.
Once sleeves were done.. he went to the sink with the bowl of powdery plaster of paris.. and gradually with carefully measured quantity of water.. gives it a stir, mix and a strudy knead like dough..
Naku watches and comes to his side,"ye tu jaise ap aata ghund rehe hain.. mujhe dien main kerti hoon.. and she nearly crossed his arms with hers from the side..he spins his neck slightly and his chin is inches away from the top of her head..
"what are you doing Nakusha, yehen roti nehin bana rehi hai tu, I am mixing plaster of paris for your mould.."
But seeing that her hands are already in the mixture he allows her and their palms touch.. unintentionally ..Dutta , removes his hands out of the nearly pliable modelling material and carries his slightly white washed to the sink... he hears her final robust packing the material and allows his eyes to see her slightly lowered head atop the bowl. It's the energy of her holistic body that shows most in her facial muscles.. and in the direction and concentration of her eyes... what a study of such an alive, and strikingly attractive face!
Wiping his hands dry he calls out.."ok Nakusha ! you have proved it that not only are you a good subject, but are also a hands on type of person! .. ummh here, I'll take that , you go wash your hands and.. thanks" He gets, from her, a sincere smile of being acknowledged by her",this motivates Dutta even more as he packs the moist plaster of Paris, in an air tight box..
No sooner does he straighten up than the door shuts and the voice, Dutta!resounds in the studio.
Naku startles, and fixes her loose tendrils of hair that escaped while she patted the moulding material.. "Seema ma'am!
"this looks very cosy, the creator and the subject! good to see you Nakusha.. any problems with your art tutor? hoon bhi, tu let me know! I'll get through to him , he knows my ways.. don't you my dear complex and thorny Dutta!
Dutta rolls his eyes and moves over to collect some of his sculpting tools.. on route he catches sullen face.. this Seema and her coarse common ways.. kya bat bol rehe hai Nakusha ko! ke main bahut close hoon iske saath! Dutta irks inside.. but chooses not to react but waits for Naku too.. and she did!
"namaste Seema ma'am, no koi problem nehi , in fact I was also given the opportunity to assist in preparation of resources being used..but you can be sure I shall come to you with my grievances should any arise , which I doubt they will" Naku says .respectfully.
" how can you say with such conviction that you won't have any problems with him?" she probes , as she points to Dutta with her curved thumb.
" with due respect Seema ma'am, so far whatever he imparts to me is done so in simplicity, which I understand effortlessly.. and I should hope what I to say to him, too makes an impression on him"... and she looks at Dutta for some sign of agreement. He does, one laid back nod..
For Seema, it seems a satisfactory answer and her eyes trek around his studio.. Nakusha! multiple Nakushas.. Dutta's imagination seems to have gone wild! she guesses..
"heavens! you have been busy Dutta! with Nakusha at the helm of your ingenuity.. have to say some fine representations! why don't you put them out in the exhibition area where they can be shared? they are detailed studies of her individual features." Seema almost orders more, than suggests..
Dutta retorts immediately, "they are my personal manuscripts! and therefore I do not wish to share them with any one! ummh, I mean.. don't think they should be included in an open for all exhibition. His broad statement does raise eyebrows from both women... Seema senses a jolt at Dutta's blunt, and certainly not expected response.."how can you Dutta! an artist like yourself be disinclined to share your work with the world? that's not an artist's outlook..to keep their creations concealed from the world! what's got into you? Seema asks gently..
"nothing has got into me Seema ma'am! just standing up for my rights not only as a painter! but as a human being as well! I have my preferences too.. which work out of my hands! I wish to retain for my own personal pleasure or which work I wish to offer as a joy to others! Dutta grates angrily..
Seema is nothing but even more dumbstruck at Dutta's sudden rather radical opinion.. more so is his reference to "personal pleasure"... since when has this sense of indulgence been brewing within him..?I bet this perfect beauty! has to be the primary source..she darts a look at Nakusha ..
"ever since you became his subject young Nakusha! Dutta knows no boundaries and limits.. now I honestly can't say if this is a good thing or a bad one?
Dutta moves closer to Seema, decisively and stands before her, his arms, crossed behind his back and stares directly into her eyes," "Dutta was always a liberated person, Seema ma'am..Nakusha has had no bearing on my fancy free creativity, Seema ma'am, but yes if she has.. then I can vouch for it that it has to be worthy! .. Dutta says in no uncertain terms.
Seema knows when she is bowled, and gathers the reminder of her dignity and says, with a keeping one's face, manner of a smile..
"I guess that says it all and I'd best leave, have to do more rounds" Seema says abruptly.
~~~~~~~~~
Left alone inside his studio, Dutta feels enraged at Seema's pungent words, seems this woman is hell bent on somehow wielding power in a most disruptive manner. How can her manner, be so disorderly! spreading chaos where ever she goes.. Dutta feels she harbours a personal vendetta of some form against..why? he is baffled beyond words.As for Nakusha ,she's on her case at the minutest of opportunity. Nakusha! Dutta recognizes has gone missing, from his room.
Out he comes and finds her standing down the corridor looking out of the window at the groups of pupils on the green. Dutta strides over to her and softly places his palm on her shoulder..
As if she knew his touch.. calmly, she turns and finds him standing before her looking down tenderly into her eyes.. "DP.. aap" she whispers..
" Nakusha, look I apologize for Seema ma'am's abrasive manner..her bark is worse than her bite.. she just goes around keeping a strict vigil on all her pupil's progress.. mera saath bhi aise hi thein, when I first started here.. so don't take it to heart.. he consoles her gently.
Naku smiles, and shakes her head,"nehin DP, I don't usually delve on what life dishes out before me.. in fact, trails ,challenge me to tackle them.. only then can I strengthen my perseverance" and she stops suddenly as she sees him studying her face intently..
"you talk as if you have had a fair share of some pleasantries in your life" Dutta is quick to ask.
" whose life is free from trouble shooting DP? no one.. we may be born without troubles.. but then our first cry signifies that to survive we have to fend for ourselves.. so yes, trails and tribulations are part of life! she says philosophically..
Dutta, adds another plus point to her external beauty.. stamina to cope with the disagreeable, distasteful , foul scenarios of life including with the likes of Seema ma'am..
Then to he feels that making up to her in some way wouldn't be such a bad notion after all. he looks at directly and commands, "just wait a moment right here! ghayab maat ho jana, main ata hoon abhi! briskly he spins and in long strides moves over to his studio ,pushes the door and disappears..
Naku muses, Seema ma'am picked on me tu, he felt it.. aisa kyun? still Seema ma'am thinks the world of DP.. erhh , if they do get together, they would be compatible .. but somehow the idea is pushed to the back boiler and she chides herself.. what on earth am I thinking,if he comes to know he will throw a wobbler! ah! there he comes.. what? holding his manuscripts folder!what ever for?
His hand rests under her elbow, and with a turn of his neck he looks down at her and explains..
"chal lets go for a ride".. as if he knows that there will be no resistance from her.. he opens the passenger door of his jeep and she gets in without a word.
~~~~~~~~~~
She can see that the suburban areas are fast being left behind , as he drives in silence. no she will not be asking him any question, like where too? It was clear it will be work related, given the fact that he carries his sketch papers. He can sense that she looks preoccupied with the journey.. he decides to break the existing hush between them
"Nakusha, tum dekho, funny how the general populous too changes as do the houses and the life styles of varied communities. Some areas show a stark socio economic difference of peoples, from one area to another, haina Nakusha?
Since he includes her in his mode of thinking , Naku does agree, after some thought,
"yes, DP, the well to do regions have their indicators of huge detached houses, flanked by smooth and spacious roads .. more amenities like parks, and flashy cars, fewer people on foot."
He changes gear and turns into the poor dwellings, marked by tight housing, many shanty type shacks.. a few small kiosks, attached to tea stalls that spilt onto pot holed roads.. here and there men recognize him and raise their arms at him.
"aree Dutta! aaj kaise raasta bhul gaye tu?
Dutta's eyes well up as he bows his head , to the people.. his jeep bumps and splashes through the rain water filled pots holes. Naku juggles about! and he gives her a sided look with a brief..
"darwaza ko pakar ke beitho... jhule kum ayen ge..
The distant sound of the mandir bell, forces him to lower his speed and he halts briefly and moves his head to the faade of the temple.. which stands close by the banyan tree.
"Nakusha this place over there, is the making of Dutta.. with a sided contracted gaze he points to the soggy mud pit.."aur wahan pe janam hoya en hatoon ka"..thus there were born in the mud pit! the fine gifts of Dutta's hands.. he let's go of the steering and moves the insides of both his palms towards' this girl who , he feels knows what he means?
...to be continued Hamlet53~31.8.14
CID
Kumkum Bhagya
Pyaar Kii Ye Ek Kahaani
Kabhi Neem Neem Kabhi Shahad Shahad
