I wanted to post my thoughts on y'day's episode, but then i couldn't. I went back and watched some of my favorite scenes, from last Feb to November. And I realized a simple post wouldn't suffice.
What a journey it has been! Call it what you must, serendipity or maybe destiny! This is the story of a man who had once buried every emotion deep inside, and a girl whose immense faith has led her through this deadly maze and finally into the arms of her love!
I've written odes to this couple a hundred times, but I can't help but do it again! This has been one of the greatest love stories I've been witness to, albeit on television. I haven't seen love so fierce, so pristine and soulful. These two make me believe that there exists a kind of love that needs no reasons, no words.
Love stories have held our interest forever. But aren't they all the same? There's nothing that stays with you and after a while you just forget what it was all about. Not this story. Dutta and Nakusha are the kind of lovers whom the universe celebrates- it has written their destiny in the stars, and waited for an eternity for this story to unfold.
Dutta. I wonder if he ever had a childhood he could call his own. Inspite of the fact that he was lucky enough to have a family, did he ever belong? Agreed, AS treated him as one of her own, maybe even showered him with love and care. But there must've been moments where she resented him for being the enemy's son. And this, among other things, has been the reason why none of the people he calls his family has ever been able to penetrate the darkness in his heart.
A family he never belonged to...and then a girl he thought he loved. Maybe Dutta did love Seema, the way a boy loves a girl. He dreamt that this would be the girl who would give him that undefinable something he'd been missing all his life. But no, instead Seema pushed him into a world where everything was dark and sinister, and created a monster out of him. Thwarted and morose, he realized that the only way he could survive was by sealing his heart, numbing it to every emotion. He thought he'd never feel again, and he wanted it that way.
And then Nakusha happened. The mere wisp of a girl whom he rescued. That night, what Dutta didn't realize was that she was the rescuer and he was being rescued. Like he admitted, he did feel a strange restlessness, that yearning he'd never felt before; not even when he thought he'd loved Seema. As he locked eyes with the dark girl in the rearview mirror, he didn't realize that his life was about to change, forever.
There is love, simple and silly. There is another kind of love, all-consuming and dark. And then there is a kind of love that encompasses every emotion, a love that completes you in every sense. A love that is a friend, a mother, a confidante, and above all a soulmate. This is what Nakusha is to Dutta.
When Nakusha first started working for Dutta, she was to everyone a lowly servant girl. Everyone except Dutta who found her a curious mix of impudent child and advisor. It was her innocence, her absolute fearlessness that first made him notice her. And even as she chastised him, he'd smile. For the only person who ever told him the truth to his face, until then, was Baji. And Baji, inspite of being Dutta's best friend, didn't always tell Dutta the truth, maybe because he loved his friend too much. Thus Nakusha became Dutta's friend, the one he'd turn to when he wanted advice. She taught him things only a friend could. She read his pain even when he denied it. When she told him to give love a chance, he couldn't but deny her. More than anything, she wanted him to give himself a chance. And Dutta realized that too, for that was what he was trying to do when he said yes to Supriya. We always want to be the person our friends say we are. We believe them, for we know that they speak from the heart. And so, in those lonely winter evenings, Dutta found himself opening up, sharing his pain with another human being. That was the first step in their journey.
Then came a phase where he felt betrayed by the one person he'd come to trust the most. It was this betrayal, more than Supriya's, that drove him to the edge and made him punish Nakusha. Even in his hatred, it was as if he couldn't let go of her. He didn't want to. Isn't it funny, that when he was furious with Kala, he let her go out of his life, but with Nakusha, he never did it, not even when he felt betrayed a second time! That betrayal, and his subsequent realization that Nakusha was innocent, was the second step in their journey.
Then came a moment where he realized that this girl, whom he'd never acknowledged as his wife, would go to any lengths to protect him. It was not that she wanted to prove her love. It was just that she'd decided that she'd be with him, even in death. Although Dutta did confess that she had shattered his pride (saara huroor tod gayi woh), even before that moment, it must've been then that he realized what she meant to him!
And so, when he closed his eyes, he realized that it had been her all along. That one undefinable feeling he'd been searching for all his life, it was her! During the days of their courtship, Dutta was certainly lover-like. Shy, but still lover-like. Naku, instead of just being his lover, was more than that.
She was his anchor, once again, in one of the darkest phases of his life. Even today, I feel the Damodar Patil track was one of the most brilliant tracks in LTL. A defeated Dutta, his identity stolen from him, asking Naku what his name was. THe way Naku brought him back, from the dark mist that surrounded him, it was what a mother would do for her child. She was this time, his mother, a woman who chastised him, showed him the mirror and told him that he had to find himself, on his own. When he asked her how she could stay calm and happy, even in the face of a storm, she explained it to him patiently, as a mother would to her child. Told him why love was a virtue to be upheld.
And then, she became his wife. Loved him from the shadows, and loved him even when he told her that he hated her. Loved him enough to banish all the shadows, every doubt. You know what I loved most about this phase, the fact that even when Dutta pretended to hate her, and then realized he couldn't do it anymore, he never once asked her for the truth. He didn't need to know what the reasons were, because he already loved her, and it didn't make any difference to him!
And so, we have had Dutta and Nakusha live every part. And now, they are united, as lovers. For their love story has just begun. And even as i write it, I know it will continue forever. This has been the one thing we've waited for, TaSha as lovers. If y'day was any indication, this love story's gonna be magnificent!
Anupamaa
Iss Pyaar Ko Kya Naam Doon
