The Second Chances upd Epilogue pg63 on 22thFeb - Page 24

very nice update ....

@ Prettywoman

Ch 10: The Realization.. this got my attention I knew it would too

Present day

Telankhadi lake,Nagpur

Dutta sat gazing at the water. Looking at the sun setting, as if it was too tried with the constant fire burning in it and just wanted to drown itself, to drench the burn it suffered to give light to others. i swear tht before i read the following line, i knew you were talking of him burning from his own pain here.... see we are connected here shilpi..lol we sure are connected..also the fact that i give into dramatisation is a different matter...have you seen tintiny's style...she writes with simplicity...which is so believable..i can't keep things simple..all the biggest writers off the world write strories in the simplest settings..the art is to make simple sthings look amazing without highligthed drama..i need lot of practice there...words that should be powerful enough to invoke a reaction of timeless quality not cliches that i sometimes use...you all are loving this style ..i am glad of it but...somewhere i feel i am missing something...a slight touch of reality is missing..simplicity is missing.

wow.. love the way you described the lake.. gave me such a melancholy feeling yaar.. hthe diff moods of the lake depending on what time of the day it was.. and oh those good old college ke din.. kaash woh wapis aate.. esp for me who left those days behind well over a decade ago, this did get me nostalgic.. magar already sun set ho gaya, not much time left Naksh..U need to do something to give a bit more hope to naksh here i feel a few more heart touching gestures from D will do it for me

The fact is Vandu, it's not what Dutta shows and does for nakku..he is still holding back some demons inside..they need to be exorcised...but here nakkusha is not the same as the show who soothes him..she is the destination not the road to it...his pain is not that he loves her...as you saw in the later part he accepted that love calmly...its not that he loves her that bothers him its the aftermath of loving her. They are close....there families are so close..this closeness is the major distance between them..u remember my second cousin had to struggle for 3n half yrs before marrying bhabhi's sister...it was because with the elder brother married to elder sister they were connected and it looked odd to marry them off..atleast it looked odd to the elders..similarly,for dutta it feels that he has charted into taboo regions with these feelings.....that was past now in present added to this guilty feel of fillial disgression there is more...tell u later about that..so,sorry there maybe some gestures but they might not be what you want now.

Dutta- he hit me back,too. Got me twice on the stomach. Nakkusha- I don't believe you. That's so barbaric. She licked her lips biting her laugh- and so filmy. Dutta- I know. I can't believe it now. Nakkusha- he is in Indian air-force now. Dutta- really! Man, that's'that's seriously impressive.

thanks for clearing this up.. i had wondered whetehr Dutta had used his fists or did that boy just needed some verbal lashing.. i never expected a fight yaar.. too good and fits in perfectly esp taking their age into account and how he is in Air Force.. wow arun chougley is my senior high nemesis in real life...we were always teamed together for debates and other competitions..me from middle school, he from high school.. we fought like hell as we were too stubborn and had egos the size of Bermuda triangle...he was awarded best NCC cadet by president R.K narayanan..a merit student and now is really in air-force...one of the best officers we have..always tells me to loose some weight or i'll never catch a guy...told him about this role and he insisted that he should get atleast two shots at the hero...if i was making him the villain here..

Nakkusha- yeah,he's on Facebook. Tudu, tell me one thing. How were you there?

gr8.. i have just been waiting to read this part to know how.. i had pmed u before also with all possible ways on how he might have kept track of her na.. but u beat me hollow thank you other Qs will be answered in due time..i hope.

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You wanted to get lost, literally.

above statement in bold.. was kartik just saying that stement casually or literally here?i mean did he know the reasons why D was trying to get away from everyone.. or was he just making a stement here that D intended to get lost from everyone and so never tried to keep in touch.. i know D has had a very lonely life ever since he realised his love for Naksh, but did he ever have a friend with whom he might have shared his feelings?! further down, seing kartik's hesitation to talk of Naksh's wedding and how he says, SHE is getting married, makes me wonder how much Kartik knows..karthik's hesitation should be answer enough that he knew or maybe suspected something between them...if it was not clear then it will be in later updates...dutta only ever shared his feelings with his dad...even nakkusha understood him all by herself rather than him saying the things in his heart..if could actually share his thoughts with her he would never have reached this point would he?Nakkusha was his harbour, a warm security blanket at time of crisis...she understood him by his mannerisms,habits,eyes, feelings never needing the words..remember her slipping in his bed as kid...he didn't say much but she knew he needed her to be there as he could be weak infront of her...if cried infront of his mom he felt she would be even more devastated..someone had to stand straight and he even at 13 knew that it had to be him..and it is so true that new born babies do look ugly to everyone else except the parents who think they are the most beautiful babies in the world! Karthik had changed from a sedate person to total love struck man. .. personal experience huh Shilpi.. mine or yours?Dutta looked at him in amazement as he went on to tell him his entire life story in every detail for the next hour.

. Just as well, because he feared that if he ever did see them, he'd probably search for impossible resemblances-between them and him. Funny, he never knew that you could actually feel the pain of those broken dreams that you have never dared to dream.

chahe jitna tu apne mann ko manaye Dutta, she is etched into your soul and every sleeping/waking moment of your life and it is heart wrenching to see him punish himself like this with thoughts which will never materialise in real life according to him. still his mind will never stop from indulging in such fantasies na.. really feeling bad for D here.. see a moment ago, he felt Kartik's baby was umm just nice.. and here when he hears of Naksh's wedding, he cant help but think of how their babies would have looked.... he has lived those dreams in his sub consious.. never dreamed with open eyes, but in the deep recesses of his heart, he has always envisaged a life with her..aaarrgg.. this is killing me today

He couldn't understand why it felt so important to finish this business with a closed locker. It had waited 6 months, it could have waited a few more days. He refused to answer that to himself.

there are some moments in life when you just do things without answering those questions from your head as you are just following your heart

. But his mind kept seeing her. .. finally i can see him allowing himself at least this luxury.. that in itself is a good change.. it must be that he is back in Nagpur, all the old memories flooding him and weakening him, but so glad he is finally opening up that corner of hs heart where she is locked away.. lil by lil, page by page, he is opening that part of his heart.. truly beautiful

Unspoken pact made in silence, man to man. Her veil was lifted; she looked up to his face and smiled. Nothing felt so good, he thought, nothing was so precious.' I have been waiting for you. What took you so long,Dutta?' .. this touched my heart today girl.. i would love to have these lines re-used again.. better still i would try to come up with something equally mushy and ahem..touching..see these are the dramatics i am talking about...i should be able to write without these clichs.. see, just what i thought.. earlier all his memories were just locked up, whereas now suddenly he has had a vision of her being his bride and he just cannot stop himself from dreaming on.. and he has kept himself away from even the small thoughts of her that now everything is breaking loose like an avalanche here.. all her memories, dreams of her.. i feel for D here.. all this time i was sad for Naksh, i still feel for her.. but now seeing how much he had gone thru.. more will come so buck up!

The run was over. No temptations to break the rule. oh, such an acceptance statement.. accepting that this is it, she is now gone..oh

What's the harm in it for her? oh, how i love this selfless D..even in all his pain, he still thinks of her and her well being.. he knows that she must have gone and would not be burdened with his visit.. but ek doubt.. in what way does he think his visit will harm her.. if he thought she only saw him as a friend, then after initial anger from Naksh on seing him after so many years, then she would be thrilled to see him na.. OR did he realise that Naksh also loves him though the feeling was unknown to herself and he fears him coming back would awaken those feelings in her again?!...See he doesn't trust himself to be able to stand in sidelines when she takes the vows...he frears himself...next few updates might clear them up...remember, Dutta's exit and Dan's entry coincided....so there more to this part.

One look, one dream, one last fantasy. Just once- one taste, one breathe of the air she had breathed while making those vows, that had cut her from him forever. Just one. No harm done. .. one more memory to stash away in his heart to relive in Antartica again acc to him na.. but nahiiin..bahut ho gayi judaai..

As i said i am still wondering about this part....judai khatam hui ya nahi..kya pata? Yaar why did my mom sell all those papers as raddi...grrrrrrr...i tell sometimes moms se achcha raita aur koi nahi phira sakta..ab yahi dekh lo!!!!!!!

Ooh.. a young jealous Dutta seeing that pig in the past would be coming up shortly na.. that would be awesome, though not his pain afterwards.. but now he will maybe realise the pain Naksh went thru when she saw him with Avanti na?But naksh didn't realize why she felt that pain seeing Avanti and Dutta..She realized it in the present remember? but he may still not two and two together to realise that naksh's love had probably made her behave like that with avanti in the 1st meeting.. oh god, i think too much,No he didn't realize that....how could he? He doesn't know that naksh may love him not when even she doesn't realize it... But he had been too involved in cutting ties to notice anything. How dared he hurt her, His Naksh! Dutta stopped in his thoughts and looked back at Nakkusha who was still engrossed with the kid. When had she become his, in his thoughts?.. aree, she was forver yours .. in your dreams toh kya, in every thought or act of yours she was always yours.. but as soon as your heart tried to send that msg thru, your head will go into auto shut down mode naTypical,hai na?

The pull of that city was too much in his blood. He loved the city; it held the memories of his da, of his childhood. He needed to keep going back... yes, he needed to goback as his heart was still there.. oh i will only get worse as this FF progresses.. siiigh ur poor jiju Its tough to cut off ties with the city you grow up in..ask me...i know..knowing that it would never be the same when you go back there...there won't be a home waiting for you..if you leave for job or get married..you may still come back but if you know that the place would move on without you while you still want to go back that's hard..i miss Nagpur so acutely....its like a hole in my heart...even if i go back...it won't be to my home, my quarter CT/42/3.How hard it must be for Dutta to consciously cut those webs of memories and the ties to this city...i can feel it.

Strange, everything looked exactly the way it had looked a moment ago when he had closed his eyes, but now everything had changed inside him. She was the same but felt different to him. She felt wrong in his arms. He would have expected hurt and antagonism in her eyes, accusations that were true. But he saw just pain and acceptance, a look of defeat and finality.

OMG OMG.. i swear i never saw this coming.. i never ever expected him to confess/realise like this.. this just shows that she is in his soul.. she is so far yet so close..reminds me of a song from jhankaar beats and the fav lines in that song sum this up foir me.. dur hokar bhi dur tum nahin (naksh), pass ho lekin pass kyun nahin (avanti)

amazing.. Ok...let me just celebrate....my mission accomplished...lol

You are not My Naksh. now i cant wait to see him call her his Naksh.. gosh, this is such a pivotal part in the story and i cant wait to read how poor D deals with his heart now he knows there is only this one woman for him and she has to be kept away from him.. it will be heart breaking to read, but will be so touching.. all the moments from now on with Naksh will take a new meaning for D.. so, now we know D realised it at this point.. in the case of Naksh, was it that she realised on the night D came back and they have that conversation in the guest room? where she says it has always been him.. breaks my heart to even think if that daniel had turned up, would she never have realised.. the same question i had haunted Adi with in so many ways in one thread saying if sups had not run away, would D have never realised N's love and his love for her?!. No, he would not have immediately but i am sure without true love he would have found something missing from his life...he would have married her accepted her, been nice to her but would not have loved her to bits like he does Nakku...its like evry action has equal and opposite reaction..Sups 'love' was hollow..even if Dutta imagined himself in love with her due to being duped by her pretence..Ultimately his love for her would have turned hollow leaving them trapped in unwanted marriage..

Now look at the irony...the same unwanted marriage with Nakku turned into the living breathe of his life, a bond so deep that every other relation of his past 28years or so paled to comparision..The love he feels for goes so deep 'cause nakku's love for him goes deeper.

So, he would not have realised that Nakku loved him so deeply till he was turned even more cynic and hard in a dead relationship...and if he had loved her then it would have been infidelity for him..sad scenario..hai na?

Avanti nodded pulling away from him,"The break-up party has to wait till next month, I guess. This month, I am broke". Dutta gave an incredible laugh- Me too.

Avanti- What would you do now? truly speaks about this girl, and i am so glad i never disliked her.. she has lived upto what i thought of her I like my friend Avanti so couldn't turn her into vamp....she is very sweet person in real life too. Has been in realationship for 8years now and this year will get married to him in june.

Dutta looked at the sky and shrugged and answered her like a lost warrior who accepted his fate. He thought of the latin phase 'Amor Fati'. Dutta looked back at her and said simply, "Love her".

and god, how has loved her and how.. from the time he pecked her chubby cheeks till this moment.. he has always loved her with all his heart and soul , now after realiseing his love, it will take on a different meaning.. but his love has been deep, strong, selfless, enduring, soul searing and eternal

just OK?! outstandingand pls keep writing these loooong posts more often.. we will never ever complain as there is a beautiful flow when i read your stories , sorry i can actually live your stories in my heart LOl..Thanks for loving it now lets see what i can do next...possibilities are many but have to detail them out. God i wish i could keep it simple...yet beautiful..but knowing myself, i'll probably turn it into some high end romantic movie..dramabaazi khoon me hai mere...alas..!!! Tintiny se tips lene hongey!!!

thanks for the clarification shilps.. see, i also agree tin writes exceptionally well, as u said simple and sweet.. but then you also are a great writer with great vision in moving the story fwd.. there is never a dull moment in ur story.. ok, i also admit i am a bit of a dramebaaz.. J also says so too!! and again variety is the spice of life.. every author has a special place na.. same for tin and you.. so i feel u should not try to do something else just so you wnat to be diff, just write from ur heart as u do and it does touch a chord with the readers.. see, if it was a movie/tv show, and if u have an actor like MR, then he can make even the silenct periods totally golden.. whereas in a story you do need to express wht the characetrs feel.. i am too mushy too.