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Chapter 4 "Bhai?", I gasped in shock.
I pushed past Aashi and climbed the remaining steps to face my brother. The old brother who oozed in confidence and charisma, with a heavy touch of style. My eyes brimmed in tears. It had been ages, years, since I saw him like this. His condition worsened so much so I had given up the hope I so dearly held, that one day he will change.
"I am sorry Purab.", he told me, placing a hand on my shoulder.
"I know you are mad and disappointed with me for trying to end my life. Sorry is not going to heal the wounds I inflicted on you. I forgot my responsibilities and duties as the son of this house and your elder brother.", he said in a pained manner.
"I took the easy way out and succumbed to alcohol and depression, burdening you with the duties I so carelessly washed off my hands.", he continued.
"I am not worthy of asking for forgiveness. But will you give me a chance?", he asked me with a genuine determination in his eyes.
I encased and crushed my body against his, holding onto him out of sheer joy.
"Bhai, you don't need to say anything. You don't need to ask anything. This is enough for me. I feel alive today, after such a long time.", I sobbed on his shoulder.
"I thought I lost you forever, you were beyond reach and refused to fight. You had forgotten us and that hurt me deeply Bhai. Do you know how many sleepless nights I have spent worrying about you?", I stammered to him as he strongly held me.
"I am not going to taunt you with your past. What has happened cannot be changed. You have a future Bhai, which you failed to realize. I want the best for you. So, as your younger brother, I am asking you, what do you need me to do? Whatever you say, I will follow.", I told him breaking away from him.
"Listen to Aashi and call the producers.", he said and walked down the stairs after patting my chest.
I joined Aashi in the middle of the flight of stairs. We watched Abhi descend and walk towards the family who were standing in complete shock.
"Aashi, what did you do?", I asked her slightly nudging her elbow.
"I didn't do anything Purab.", she whispered back.
"No, you have done something. How did you manage to rescue him from the sorrow that was eating him from the inside?", I pressed her for answers.
"His sorrow is still there Purab. He had locked himself in it and thrown away the key. All I have done is broken the lock and left the door wide open, so that he could see what he missed on the other side.", she said, giving me a sad smile.
"Are you hiding something from me Aashi?", I asked and noticed her expression darken, but she quickly covered it.
"Purab, we have more serious things to do. Come on, let's go.", she said and started walking down the stairs.
Something was not right, she didn't have the carefree infectious laughter which brought a smile even to the most depressed person. As I watched her walk, she didn't have the spring in her steps, like she used to. It looked like dejection and helplessness. My mind filled with doubts of dread. Bhai was important, so was she. I couldn't lose either of them, when I have just found them again.
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I stood in front of my family, not with my head held high. I couldn't face them. I struggled to even look at them. Either way, I had no choice as I needed to correct my mistakes.
"Aakash, I made you suffer with the same burden as Purab. You have been a strong pillar to Purab and also to this family. I am very proud of you. I don't know if I still hold the right as your elder brother, but I am pleading to you to give me a chance Aakash.", I asked as I hung my head standing before him.
He didn't answer, but I saw tears glistening his face. I hesitantly brought my hand and touched his cheek. He shuddered and burst out crying, making my heart constrict. He held my hand, and cried into it before crushing against my chest. I supported his head and let him cry.
"You will always be my Bhaiya. My role model and my hero. Just promise me, that you won't leave me all alone in the world. I may be married and a father to a child, but I am still your chotte bhai who still needs his elder brother.", he clung to me.
"I promise.", I told him, not knowing what else I could say.
I wiped his tears and he hiccuped like a child. My gaze fell on the most important person in my life. Daadi. She was siting on the sofa, looking towards the floor. I walked forward and faced her on my knees.
"Daadi, I don't deserve the right to ask for forgiveness.", I said gently taking her frail hand in mine.
"You have given me so much. You dedicated your entire life for me and made me your world. I have disheartened and deceived you in many ways. Wallowing in my sadness, I abandoned you. Pragya left me, but I couldn't forget her. I still cannot forget her.", I said, my voice split when I said her name.
"I still love her Daadi. My Fuggy is long gone. Blinded by the love I have for the girl I knew only for a span of over one year, I didn't even give a second thought, to the most important person who sacrificed everything she had to raise me into who I am today, for more than twenty years.", I said holding my budhiya's face.
It was the bitter truth. I had known Daadi ever since I could see, but my Fuggy. Pragya. I knew her for such a short time, yet I prioritized and valued her greatly, more than my Daadi. It made me angry, very angry. At my foolishness and myself.
"It was wrong of me to forget you. I have hurt you numerous times, trying to end my life was the worst thing I could commit. I know it. Daadi, I cannot change what I did, but I can change from here on. I don't know if you trust me, but that's alright, because I am willing to win back your trust and your love.", I said clearly to her.
"Abhi, I love you with all my heart. I still trust you. I still have faith in you. I know you will rise, and be amongst the stars once again. You are a born fighter. Just promise me, that you will never even try or let alone think about ending your life. Your family is still here with you. We will be till the end of time, till our last breath.", budhiya said kissing my forehead.
"Oww Daasi!!", I shrieked in pain.
"What did you think? You can just waltz in here and ask for forgiveness?!! Do you know the amount of heartache and pain we had to go through the past three years, watching you destroy yourself!!", she twisted my ears.
"I am sorry Daasi.", I forced in a pained voice.
"Sorry?!! Sorry?!!", she shook me by the ears.
"Daasi, very sorry. Greatly sorry. Extremely sorry. From the bottom of my heart SORRY! Oww!!", I pleaded to her.
She laughed, letting go of my poor ear. Daasi was crying, but she was laughing and it made me feel happy. I felt happiness and a genuine smile had crept onto my face after a long time. I hugged her and tears welled up in my ears.
"Bhaiya.", came a quiet voice like a little girl.
"The food is getting cold and you haven't eaten anything. Shall we have dinner?", Rachna asked me coming out of the kitchen.
This girl, she fulfilled the duties of this house as a daughter-in-law, granddaughter, wife, mother and my sister. Walking towards her, I held her small face in my hands.
"Did you make my favorite gulab jamuns?", I asked her with a smile.
"That's the first thing I made when Aashi Di asked us to prepare your favorite dishes.", she smiled back at me.
"Bhaiya, thank you. Thank you for coming back to us. I really missed my brother and my son needs his Rockstar uncle.", she said holding my hands.
"Thank you Rachna. It's not enough. It will never be. But I will never abandon this family again.", I reassured and hugged her small frame.
We sat down to have dinner like a family once again. But my eyes peeked towards the corner at her. Aashi.
Purab and Aashi had been adamant not to have dinner, until they had drawn up the list of producers and the subsequent plans which followed. It was still unknown to me. I watched her listening to Purab speaking, nodding her head with her fingers placed on her lips. She always did that when she was serious.
What was running through that mind of hers? However, she was different. I felt it when I hugged her, she somehow felt smaller, thinner. Her brown eyes didn't glow as they usually did. It showed a type of sadness, torment. Aashi was definitely hiding something, I knew, but I didn't know what.
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"Okay, so that is the final name and number of the producer. He launched Abhi's last album, three years ago. He was very eager to collaborate on another one. But Bhai cancelled it. You know why.", I explained to Aashi as she wrote down the details.
"Alright Purab, this is the final list. There are so many of them, I am sure at least a few will jump at the opportunity. We will begin contacting them tomorrow. Is that okay?", Aashi said tapping her pen on the notepad.
"Sure. Aashi, what made you come back?", I asked catching her attention.
She fell silent looking at her writing. It was as if she was replaying something or remembering her past.
"Daadi's letter Purab. I only knew that Abhi had personal problems which was why he failed to release new albums. That's the only thing I heard on the media. But then, Daadi's letter found me.", she said putting down her pad and pen.
"It killed me just reading it. I didn't know he was suffering a major depression and you were helpless. Guilt gnawed me because I had promised him to be there for him as a friend.", she said rubbing her arms.
"I had to come back Purab. How could I stay away knowing that Abhi was slipping away and you too, were drowned in worry?", she asked me.
"Is that all Aashi? Why do I get the feeling you are not telling me something?", I asked her again.
"Oh god Purab! Enough with your interrogations and suspicions. Suno, I need one more small favor.", she said putting her hands together.
"Tell me.", I said.
"I need Pragya's number.", she said firmly.
"What?", I gasped.
"Pragya. I need her number. Don't worry, I know that she is in Mumbai. I just need her number.", she asked calmly.
"Aashi, what are you trying to do? Pragya has moved on. We have tried so much, but she refused to budge. She doesn't love Bhai anymore.", I said with my blood heating up.
It hurt me and everyone else when she said that she didn't, couldn't love him anymore and wanted to leave. We couldn't blame her, but I was distressed, which slowly turned to anger. What Bhai did to her was wrong beyond all reasons, but he did so much for her and her family. She couldn't deny that.
The marriage hall, her mother's operation, proving her innocence during the MMS fiasco, giving his blessings for Bulbul and myself, saving her from the kidnappers and even getting shot in the process. I may be biased, he was my brother and I have seen what her departure had done to him. It made me mad.
"Purab, listen to me. Probably she will change her decision. Let me try na Purab.", she asked me pleadingly.
"I don't have a good feeling about this Aashi.", I told her completely against her idea.
"Come on Purab. Have some faith. Abhi has changed na.", she said with a smile.
"That's because of you. And I don't want Pragya to hurt him anymore. I just got my brother back and I don't want to lose him again.", I told her bluntly, with bitterness in my voice and heart.
"Purab, please let me do this. I just want to see him happy, one last time, before I..", she suddenly stopped herself.
"Aashi?", I asked her holding her slender hand.
"Please Purab. Give me Pragya's number.", she said with tears in her eyes.
Why was she crying? What did she mean by one last time? Why was she hellbent on bringing Pragya back in Bhai's life? I didn't like her plan, at all. I couldn't forgive Pragya for what she did. Coming back for revenge and not for Bhai. Couldn't love him. Walking out from his life, taking every bit of happiness with her. Refusing to come back even after Daadi pleaded and begged her to do so. Her words kept mingling in my mind, tormenting me.
But Aashi. It was hard to change her mind. A trait from college. So, I reluctantly gave her Pragya's number, promising her that I wouldn't tell Abhi.
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~Chapter Five~ 
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