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Chapter 5 Everyone had turned in for a peaceful night of sleep after three years. Abhi and I couldn't sleep, so we headed to the garden.
"What a beautiful night isn't it Bhai?", I asked my brother who was looking up at the dark sky.
"Yes, it is studded with stars.", he replied me, letting out a sigh.
There was a reason why I wanted to talk to him. I needed to know what was going on in the Rockstar mind of his.
"Bhai, do you think about the past?", I asked him suddenly, completely out of my control.
"I do Purab. Every single day, every hour, every minute and every second.", he told still gazing at the twinkling stars.
"Do you still feel the pain?", I asked him, regretting that I was picking on the old wounds.
"The pain never ceased, but it is bearable now Purab.", he answered calmly.
"How come?", I probed him further.
"I don't know. Time, probably. Everyone at home.", he said casually.
"Then, why did you want to end your life?", I asked quietly.
"I cocooned myself. Tightly, so that no one entered. But, it wasn't strong enough to stop Aashi. She broke through the barrier and saw my miserable self. I was vulnerable and weak.", he said siting down on the bench.
"So, Aashi was the reason?", I asked, not believing the question myself.
"Don't be silly Purab. If she hadn't done that, I wouldn't have seen the bitter realization staring in my face.", he said returning to look up at the sky.
"Bhai?", I asked hesitantly.
"Yes Purab.", he answered me.
"Do you still love Pragya?", I asked him in a soft whisper.
"Yes, why do you think I let her go?", he threw me back a question.
"That was three years back, what about now?", I asked him, wanting to know more.
"I still love her Purab.", he replied me.
"Even after she has moved on?", I asked him.
"There is no harm in that. I am learning to move on as well.", he gave me a sidewards glance.
"What will you do if she came back?", I asked him suddenly.
"Purab?", his eyes went wide.
"Are you in love with her Bhai?", I muttered.
"You said that you love her and still do, but are you IN LOVE with her?", I asked him.
Not waiting for his answers, I left him in the garden and walked back into the house. I really didn't know what I was getting at with my questions. But, I wanted him to think about what I had asked, because sooner or later, something told me that Aashi will bring Pragya back.
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Purab's questions had left me speechless. All this while, I had buried myself in mistakes and regrets which I had kept remembering. Fuggy. Pragya. I had accepted her decision to leave, willingly signing the divorce papers, soon followed by our legal separation.
I was broken, shattered and dying on the inside. It wasn't only from her departure, but also betrayal by one of my own whom I loved and trusted with my life. Over the years, my depression grew like cancer, I penalized myself, for losing Pragya and even Aaliya. I made myself believe that they did what they did because of my own wrongdoings.
True, fresh from our separation, I was devastated and searched for her again and again and again. I expressed my love for her, but didn't force her to make a decision of whether to accept me. She had the right to choose, but she had no right to say that I cannot love her. My final words before I left Mumbai.
The remaining years passed and I waited, but all in vain. She didn't come back to me. I had turned to alcohol in the hope of healing myself. It helped but with torturous consequences. I had conceded my fate and lived with it, convincing myself that there was no hope for us. I wasn't good enough for her and she deserved better.
Purab's questions kept stirring in my mind. If she came back, could I keep her happy? Could I make her trust me again? I still loved her, but was I in love with her? Was there a difference? I had no idea. What was the purpose in wishing for something that may never happen?
I didn't want to think about it, as right now, I had to win back my family's respect, love and trust. And I had the two best people by my side to help me achieve it. Purab and Aashi. I promised Aashi to follow the path she laid for me as I had entrusted her with my quest to come back on top.
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"Good morning Abhi! Had breakfast?", Aashi came to sit on the sofa.
"Morning Aashi, yes I did. Rachna is a very persistent girl.", I said looking up from the newspaper.
"I can tell. Accha, come on. I want to show you something.", she said getting up.
"Where are we going?", I said putting the paper down.
"It's a surprise!", she beamed with mischief.
She led me upstairs and brought me to a room, which I had forgotten existed in this house. I was standing inside my music studio.
"Aashi, this is...", I sputtered, looking around.
"Your studio Abhi. I'm sorry it took sometime. The place was clogged up with dust and cobwebs.", she said.
"You did this?", I asked her not quite believing it.
"Of course. I had to na. Purab and I have called the producers and invited them to the house this evening. Don't you need to start working on your new album?", she reminded me.
"The producers haven't agreed to any terms. The new album, launch and comeback is still hanging on the balance.", I told her touching my beautiful drum set.
"What are Purab and I here for then? You don't worry about it. That's our headache. All you have to do is compose.", she said easily.
"It has been a long time Aashi.", I said as I went to stand by the window, unsure of myself.
"I know Abhi. But, it has to start somewhere. Who are you?", she asked coming to stand behind me.
"What?", I asked.
"Who are you?", she asked again with force.
"Rockstar Abhi.", I said meeting her gaze.
"You have the talent in you Abhi. You were born with it. Believe in yourself. The music is in you, all you have to do is bring it out. Breathe a new life into your music.", she motivated me, holding out a familiar guitar.
My lucky guitar. I hesitantly took it from her hands. I traced my fingers over the instrument which brought me to fame and reach for the stars. Looking up at Aashi, she smiled at me confidently and gave a slight nod.
Putting the strap over my shoulders, I strung it sending a vibration of tunes which filled the studio. I felt alive and refreshed. My fingers glided over the strings as I played my lucky guitar, my veins pulsing with the long lost energy.
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"Thank you all for coming on such short notice.", Purab said facing the twenty producers who had come in the evening.
They were all seated in the living hall with me, and I had two strong pillars on either side, Aashi and Purab.
"It's our pleasure Mr. Khanna. Would you care to enlighten us in detail about our purpose here?", one of the producers spoke.
"Sure. I am coming straight to the point. As you all were aware, for the past three years, Rockstar Abhi has not released any albums or performed concerts and tours. According to the media, there were many rumors surrounding his personal problems, which I will stress, is private and confidential. Some were reasonable, but others were mostly half baked truths put together by gossip magazines for increased profits. To keep it simple, my brother had problems in his personal life which affected our family, forcing us to move to Delhi to recuperate.", Purab said without a flinch.
"Now, presently, the problems have subsided and it is the perfect time for Rockstar Abhi to re-enter the music industry. A comeback, simply put. That brings us to the reason as to why we have contacted all of you. For the release of the new album, the launch, promotions, concerts and subsequent tours, the entire comeback is not possible without the back up of a producer. I am asking all of you this. Who is willing to accept the terms and conditions of Rockstar Abhi's comeback by signing a collaboration with us?", Purab finished his well thought of speech with a question.
The question was left hanging in mid air as the hall was drop dead silent. As I had expected by being in the industry for too long, their answers were not swinging in our favor.
"Mr. Khanna, a comeback is not easy.", one of the producers said.
"I agree, the music industry is extremely competitive now, with lots of new singers and talents.", joined another producer.
"Rockstar Abhi was the miliion dollar brand name, but that was three years ago. How can he garner the same recognition after such a long gap?", came another negative comment.
"Even if we relaunch Rockstar Abhi, I don't think it will be a success considering the fact that music fans have not heard any new album from him. The last was almost three to four years ago.", said another even more negative comment.
I felt beyond dejected hearing what they said, but it was the harsh reality of the industry. No one was willing to take the plunge, it was too risky. Just then, I heard a clear voice speak.
"I am sorry for interrupting, but may I say a few words?", Aashi spoke up from beside me.
"And who might you be?", one of the producers asked eyeing her.
"My family.", I said staring at him with a serious expression.
"Please, do continue.", he said looking back at Aashi.
"First of all, singers are not robots or humanoids. They are human beings with the usual aspects in life. Everyone is bound to have problems in unexpected forms from unexpected sources. Not everything can be solved in the blink of an eye. Don't you agree with me?", she said looking at them.
"Some people may take days, or weeks, or months and probably even years to solve their own problems. This was the same case for Abhishek Mehra, Rockstar Abhi. One needs to have a clear mind to drive their passion, to extract every bit of their essence and place it in the work they have committed to. The music is what a singer feels. The music is what reflects a singer. That's what determines if an album becomes a hit. If the music is exceptional, only then will the people love it, coming back for more.", she said coming to stand in front.
"Seeing from that perspective, Rockstar Abhi's last album was the biggest hit of that entire year winning almost every award in the music industry. It was beyond exceptional, making millions of fans devour it. That album was the last thing on people's minds, filling them with even more expectations from Rockstar Abhi. To put it in simple terms, the people were craving and are craving for more from Rockstar Abhi due to the incredible impact of his last album. Unlike what you said, they would not have forgotten him. They would be remembering him, searching the media for even a single piece of news about his next album.", she said shocking everyone including me in silence.
"I agree, three years was a long time, but why worry when you have the media? It's true, the media did spread rumors. That's nothing to be surprised about. But it will be the same media who will patronize Rockstar Abhi, bringing him to the cover page of every magazine and splashing the news with headlines of his comeback. Why? Because they know for a fact that the people will go crazy and wild, garnering in more revenues.", she said with such logic and practicality.
"So, as a conclusion, I am just asking you one question. Who is willing to agree for a collaboration with Rockstar Abhi in his undeniably majorly successful comeback?", she said after coming to stand right beside me.
There was complete pin drop silence in the hall. Not a mutter, not a whimper. For seemed like a lifetime, finally there was a sea of nodding and comments flowing out of everyone.
"I'll agree to the collaboration.", said one producer.
"I will sign the terms and conditions now.", said another.
"We can start with the media coverage tomorrow itself.", said another producer.
And just like that, positive agreements were flooding in, like in an auction. The producers were screaming their agreements and also arguing amongst themselves. It was worse than an auction.
Aashi moved to stand beside a shocked looking Purab and whispered something in his ear. Later, she turned around to catch my attention, taking my hand, she led me away from the living hall which was becoming increasingly loud.
"Aashi, what did you say to Purab?", I asked her as we walked up the stairs, the arguments from the hall eventually dying down.
"Oh! I just told him that I have done my part. Now, it was his turn. How he chose which producer was his headache, not mine.", she laughed lightheartedly making me happy.
"Where did you learn to speak like that Aashi? I never imagined you talking about the underlying politics and buried truths of the music industry.", I asked her as we reached my music studio.
"It's not rocket science na Abhi. Besides, I am a die hard fan of Rockstar Abhi, so I know my facts. So, like I said, don't worry about it. You have a lot of work to do so you better start composing!", she said pushing me into the studio.
"Where are you going?!", I shrieked at her after regaining my balance.
"To get you a mug of cinnamon coffee and myself a green tea.", she said happily before disappearing from the door.
My music was back. The producers were going wild. Rockstar Abhi's comeback was confirmed. At the back of my mind, I had a small yearning, I wish she was here to support me, lend me a shoulder and encourage me. I had always expected her to do this, but sometimes it's better not to have expectations.
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Ye Hai Mohabbatein
12