mini meta drabble
(at least let's hope it's mini...)
pragya bhabhi: mina what are you doing with your head under your laptop - you will get burned - what even??
mina: 😭
p: i don't understand the language of tears
m: 😭 😭
p: if you keep this up i will give you neither kachodis nor pakodas nor even lemonade
m: bhabhi you can't withhold my lemonade 😡
p: oh can't i?
m: you want me to tell you my problems?
p: i want you to get your head out from under your laptop pagli kahin ki
m: are you sure that's you bhabhi, you don't sound like you
p: are you sure you can hear me from under your laptop?
m: ok! ok fine! here's my laptop and here's me!
p: and here's your lemonade. have a sip and tell me your woes.
m: oh bhabhi i have so many woes.
p: and now you have lemonade, so life is less awful. go on, tell bhabhi everything.
m: no bhabhi it's these darned fics
p: darned as in socks?
m: no darned as in accursed, misbegotten, ill-conceived -
p: uh, ok. what's wrong with your fics?
m: i dunnooo
p: i bet you do
m: well they don't END and then i get new ideas and then i make banners and then i want to show people stuff but then they're not done but they're but still and then because and
p: ok you stopped making sense at "want to show people stuff"
m: bhabhi...i want to show people stuff
p: ok
m: but the stuff isn't finished
p: then...finish it?
m: but i want to show -
p: mina. would you serve your bhai and sisters a half-cooked meal?
m: what?
p: if you knew the mattar paneer needed ten more minutes of simmering to settle the flavours, would you still serve it?
m: well if bhai and nimmy were really hungry -
p: if you knew your cake had a runny middle would you still take it out of the oven?
m: there's an argument to be made for molten -
p: if your barbecue chicken was still pink inside -
m: bhabhi i don't barbecue. you know i'm not allowed near coals ever since -
p: you're avoiding my point
m: you're talking in food
p: mina 😳
m: okkk i get what you're saying. don't serve less-than-cooked food. don't share less-than-finished fics.
p: yes. and also, what happens when you've been standing at the stove for 40 minutes because it takes you three times longer than it should to make a simple dish?
m: is that another hint? i already told you bhabhi i am not taking bahu lessons. if i cannot cook fast enough my future husband will just have to starve or order takeout or cook for himself -
p: get real mina, as if you would even share your kitchen
m: we are supposed to be talking about fics, you're the one bringing in these rasoi metaphors
p: what happens when you've been standing at the stove that long mina?
m: ...i get tired and frustrated and wish the darned dish was done already.
p: and then?
m: and then i walk away to check my phone for new messages from my behenas
p: and then?
m: and then i splash my face with water...and go back to the stove to finish cooking
p: precisely.
m: so what you're saying is, if i sit down and finish my fics, no one will get food poisoning
p: ...yes. yes, that's what i'm saying.
m: but what if they never finish?? fics aren't like food -
p: sure they are. if you overcook a tomato is melts into mush. if you roast the turkey too long it burns into ashes. if you overwork a fic, it dies before it can breathe.
m: bhabhi you say the weirdest things.
p: i have to, because you're my weirdest nanad.
m: can i have some more lemonade?
p: actually i think what you need is fresh air. go do something else for a while.
m: but what if my fics burn while they are left unattended -
p: i'm attending them. they're simmering. you go off and recharge.
m: can't i just drown in lemonade instead?
p: no. but you can go swimming. you like swimming right?
m: did CB and aashu take all their science experiments out of the pool?
p: yes and your bhai had it drained and refilled. go test the waters.
m: okkk...thanks for the lemonade.
p: anytime.
m: don't let my fics char.
p: as if you even have to tell me that.
m: i love you bhabhi.
p: you're an imp.
m: 😲
p: i love you too. now go! bye!
m: *skips away to get her bathing suit*
THE END
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