a drabble-style OS by -Tia- and -mina-
*Alternate universe: Abhi did not get shot, Pragya did not confess, and AbhiGya were rescued by the police after a week or so on the run*
After the return from kidnapping, Abhi didn't want to deal with Tanu anymore. He made it clear to her that they were over but she didn't seem to get the message and still came around the house to visit Aaliya all the time. He avoided being alone with her and as far as he was concerned he was done with her. he didn't think it necessary to tell Pragya about it so he didn't know that she thought they were still together.
He felt very protective of his Fuggy after everything that happened and he threw tantrums if he thought she was taking risks with herself...Before he might not have cared what she did with her time but now he wanted to know where she was and what she was doing at all times...He couldn't stand the idea of her going missing again and couldn't bear the thought of losing her again...From the way she took care of him when he was injured...and from her crazy willingness to stand between him and Neel's gun not once but so many times...From a hundred moments they shared during their ordeal...Abhi understood that he meant the world to Pragya...Yet he didn't know if that meant she desired him too in every way for she was never vocal or expressive about it
And she meant...well that was the problem. He wasn't sure what she meant to him. She'd done so much for him and she was attached to him and he was attached to her beyond measure... But he'd never meant to marry her to begin with...Their personalities and interests were so different...He couldn't imagine taking her out of his life but neither could he imagine building a life with her...
So he avoided the question, and life went on as normal. He didn't try to talk to Pragya about the meaning or the future of their relationship...He just let things be the way they were...
For Pragya, seeing how much he endured and suffered for her sake, her love for him became unbreakable...But when, after they got home, nothing changed between them...and he went back to his nok jhok talks...and Tanu kept coming around the house...she started to think that maybe...maybe there was a bitter truth she needed to accept...
She had thought that when he went through so much for her, it must be because she meant something to him...but...but they just went back to normal life...and she started to realize...
She would always be Abhi's...but Abhi...Abhi didn't want to be hers...He might be the most responsible husband but he would never be her lover*
And that made her depressed and frustrated, but she was used to not getting what she wanted in life so she just...accepted it. Lived with the disappointment, and didn't make any demands on Abhi. Because she wanted him to be happy, and if she wasn't his happiness - she wouldn't try to force herself on him.
And she thought sometimes that maybe she should bring it up to him. Maybe she should ask him till when they would continue their fake marriage. But then...she thought of how disappointed Daadi would be, how devastated her Maa would be, how even though he hadn't made any new place for her in his life or his heart - he hadn't tried to push her away either...
And she thought that maybe she would just let things continue as they were. She would take it one day at a time. Because the truth was, she couldn't bear to leave him, even though her mind told her that it was only a matter of time until he decided to leave her...
So life went on...and everyone assumed AbhiGya were a happy couple. Pragya never let anyone see her secret disillusionment, and Abhi never let anyone see his inner confusion...
Until, one night...
The whole famIly had gathered for some festival or party...Throughout the night Daadi, the Daasis, and Pragya's family made lots of hints and jokes about "when will they get to hear good news"...AbhiGya gave strained smiles and deflected the comments as much as they could, but by the end of the night they were just completely ready to be done with those conversations.
Finally, the party ends. AbhiGya start to head up to their room. They wouldn't usually go together, but by some chance they start up the stairs at the same time.
Indu Daasi makes some comment about the lovebirds finally going away...and loudly reminds them not to forget to close the door!
Pragya blushes...Abhi gets irritated...They quickly and quietly go to the room...
Pragya walks in first...Abhi comes in, stops for a moment...Then, frowning, starts to close the door...
P: Arre? Why are you even bothering. We don't need the door closed.
A: Yes, but they don't need to know that.
P: *rolls eyes* As if a door is going to fool them
A: What is that supposed to mean?
P: It doesn't matter if we keep the door closed. We'll never have good news to give them. Might as well leave it open.
A: *closes the door* What's wrong with you today Fuggy? Bad mood?
P: *fans herself* Garmi lag rahi hain! (feeling hot), so I thought keeping the door open will save some electricity bill. Please open the door.
A: Garmi lag rahi hain to AC on kar lo (turn on the AC). And anyway it's time for bed. We won't sleep with the door open.
P: Right. Because then someone might notice we don't share the bed.
A: What?
P: Nothing.
A: if you want the bed Fuggy, just say so. I can take the sofa for a night.
P: What difference does one night make?
A: Do you have something to say Fuggy? You're being so sarcastic.
P: I just - you heard all their jokes tonight. Until when are we gonna keep pretending?
A: What are you talking about?
P: Closing the door just makes them think everything is normal. Nothing is normal, Abhishek. we're never going to give them good news. Can't we just be honest about that?
A: What, and break all their hearts? Have you gone crazy?
P: Maybe! I can't - I can't stand being here with you like this, night after night, iss bandh kamre mein jahan kuch nahin hota (in this closed room where nothing happens), and then during the day we go out there and lie -
A: "Bandh kamre mein jahan kuch nahin hota"? You want something to be happening?
P: No, of course not. I know, we'll never have bandh kamre relations, you don't have to remind me.
A: What relations?
P: 'Bandh kamre' closed door relations! You only introduced me to that term on karva chauth night, remember?
A: I remember. And of course we won't have them. we're not like that.
P: Because..?
A: Because we are...
P: because you want to have, sorry already have those relations with churail.
A: It has nothing to do with Tannu. I did not marry you to have bandh kamre relations.
P: But I did.
A: What?
P: Nothing. I'm going to change, this sari is so heavy -
A: *walks up to her and grabs her arm* What did you mean just now?
P: *pulls her arm away* What does it matter? Like you said, it's sleeping time. So I -
A: What did you mean, you married me to have relations?
P: *looks at him up and down...tells herself to lie and get the moment over with fast* Why I married you...for my mother, of course. you know that. Now -
A: Don't even think you can lie to me. That's not what you meant. and you're the one who brought up bandh kamre relations, so don't pretend now that you don't want to talk about it.
P: *laughs bitterly* What's there to talk about? I already know I'm never going to get it, so why talk about it.
A: Don't be like that. Just say what you have to say, damn it.
P: Fine. Fine, you want to hear it? When I married you - I thought I was getting a husband, with everything that meant. I didn't know - I didn't know it was a game to you. I didn't know i'd never really get to be a wife.
A: Really get to be a wife? I don't understand, if you wanted something more from this marriage - Why did you never tell me?
P: What was there to tell you when you flaunted Tannu around? Should I have begged you to be my man? Or should I have got naked in front of you and tried to seduce you? Oh may be even then it wouldn't have worked, after all I am a boring behenji looking Chashmish teacher, not a super model like your Tannu.
A: Hey, don't talk like that about yourself.
P: I learned it from you.
A: Me? come on Fuggy, don't tell me you never understood what I mean when I call you Chashmish. You also know why I call you Fuggy too. You understand me a lot better than everyone else, even that Tannu.
P: I understand you? No I don't. Anyway, I had accepted my fate to be a namesake wife when you told me why you married me. But I myself didn't realize when I developed this never ending desire to be your wife in every way that counts. But I was wrong all along. Because I never get myself to matter to you. I never could be good enough for you that you cared about me.
A: Yeah, you don't matter and I don't care about you at all. That is why I let that bloody corporator beat me up, that's why I spent a week on the run with you -
P: Dekhiye (Look), you know I didn't mean it that way. You are a genuinely nice person and like Daadi always said you are very good at heart. I know I owe you my life, my mother's marriage hall and a lot of other things. That is why i hold you in my heart with so much respect and... anyways, I am really sorry to even bring this bandh kamre thing up. I should have known my limits on my rights as your wife...*turns away to hide the tears falling from her eyes*
A: *Turns her to him forcefully by grabbing her arms again* When have you ever exerted limits on being my wife?
P: *looks at him questioningly and wipes her tears*
A: Have you set limits to be a bahu (daughter-in-law) of this house? Have you set limits to make sure my Daadi is cared for? Have you set limits to love Bunty and Babli as their chachi? Have you set limits about how much you care about whether I eat on time, whether I have a headache, if I want a head massage...?
P: That's just - that's family stuff. that's my duty. I've always understood, that is my role.
A: And? And this other stuff you want, how come you've never tried -
P: That's not duty. I mean, it is, but - but someone else does that part of my duty. Bandh kamre relations - that's a privilege. One I don't get to have, with you.
A: Someone else, who? Tannu? How do you know that? Oh right, I must have slept with her today as well.
P: *looks at him with shock and pain in her face at the same time, with tears full in her eyes*
A: *wipes her tears* Why do you imagine things that didn't even happen? I was with you all day today, how could I have possibly slept with Tannu? In fact I haven't slept with her since our marriage. At first I used to think it's your black magic but later I was thankful I had your excuse. And ever since she told me she didn't care if you died, she is out of my life for good.
P: Then, why didn't you tell me?
A: Did you ever ask? And the relationship between you and me is not dependent on Tannu. It never was.
P: I don't understand. What does our relationship mean to you? Do you consider me your wife?
A: As much as you consider me your husband.
P: And...do I have rights on you?
A: Whatever rights you want to exert.
P: You...but...this is one of your jokes isn't it? You don't mean it. You can't mean it.
A: *shaking his head* Fuggy tum bhi naa...
P: *agitated* It's not funny! Don't do this to me.
A: *in disbelief* do what to you?
P: It's - it's what you did before, and it's not fair. It's fine if you don't want me, I accept it -
A: *frustrated* why? Why do you accept it, if you want more?
P: I -I -
A: How am I supposed to give you what you want if you never ask for it?
P: You want me to...ask?
A: I dare you.
P: I don't...*blushing, trying to look away* I couldn't...I can't say...
A: If you can't say, then you can't do...*knocks her chin up with his thumb.* *whispers lowly* don't be scared of me, Fuggy
P: I'm...I'm not scared *can't avoid looking at him...eyes meet...*
A: Here we are fuggy...hum dono, humaare bandh kamre mein...tum kuch mangongi nahin? (the two of us, in our closed room...won't you ask for anything?)
P: *closes her eyes* *deep breath* Kya - kya aap - (Would - would you -)
A: Hmm?
P: Kya aap mujhe...kya aap meri saath... (Would you...with me, would you...)
A: *wants her to just finish her sentence...staring at her lips...*
P: Kya aap merey saath bandh kamrewale rishtey banaana chahte hain? (Do you want to have closed door relations with me?)
A: Main tumhare saath zindagi banaana chahta hoon. (I want to make a life with you)
P: Kya.. ka--kab se? (What? Since...when?)
A: Abh se (since now)... abhi se (right now) *holds her by the waist...leans in...kisses her...*
P: *presses her hands to his chest, half-accepting, half-confused...tips her head back...opens her mouth at his prompting...*
A: *pulls her closer, right up against him, one palm flat on the small of her back, one hand buried in her hair, holding her head for his kiss*
P: *gives in more...leans into him...slides her hands up along his neck, behind his head...one hand wandering his stubbled cheek...*
A: *breaks the kiss...kisses the corner of her mouth...pecks down her jaw...nuzzles her neck...*
P: *holds on to him..hugs him tighter.. overwhelmed as his hands start to move on her waist..and up...* I.. I need to.. uhhh...*struggles to breath* I... I should change..*tries to move away but is pulled back tighter into his chest..* Ohhh...
A: *nibbles her ear and whispers* I will help you with the heavy saree... actually you don't need to change...
P: *doesn't know what to say..just wants to say something to ease the unbearable sensations* What... do you mean...
A: Bandh kamre ka rule no. 1: you don't change... you just undo whatever you are wearing...
*whisks her into his arms and walks to the bed*
THE END
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If you liked this story you might want to check out
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