Pragya&Abhi Short OS: Dear Diary

I was confused between naming this drabble and one-shot, at last decided to call it as short one-shot!

WARNING: This story is cliched and emo-ish ( like me ). So, beware if you start to throw up somewhere in between the story for it's extreme cheesy-ness. Lol!! 😆

Thank you so much for taking your precious time reading this!😃

Playlist:

The Way I Loved You- Taylor Swift

Never Let Me Go- Florence And The Machine

Holding on And Letting Go- Ross Copperman

Dear diary,

I don't believe in you. I've never been the person who writes down her feelings and thoughts. Ironic isn't it, since I've majored in literature. But I've just never been the person who needed you. I always had a mother and an amazing sister to always vent my feelings to. Not anymore. At least not about this. It's not that they are dead or gone. They are very much alive and around here physically. It's just that this is a dark secret I am ashamed of telling anyone, even them. You're the only person who listens without judging and I need that.

I am going to get married. To a nice guy. A guy who understands me and loves me very much. Someone who accepts my flaws. Someone who my mother, grandmother and Bulbul have come to love very much too. I think I love him too. He is a calm and collected person. We like and appreciate the same things. We both love Americanos and Shakespeare. And most of all, he respects my thoughts and me. What else can a girl ask for right?

But then why do I feel empty? I feel a hollow in my chest even when he is around me. It's my wedding day. But I am not happy, actually I feel nothing. Maybe because it's not my first wedding. My second, actually. But that's because during my first wedding, I didn't know what I was getting into. He (Abhi) was so different from me. Like earth and sky. He was someone who flies high in the sky and I was someone who hid beneath the earth. This is different. I do love him, don't I? My family says that he is not perfect for me. Not after what he did to me. I am not sad when I am with the man I about to marry but I am also not happy. He makes me laugh but not wholeheartedly. But instead of thinking about my future husband, all I can think about is my ex.

The one who taunted me,

The one who called me with mean names,

The one who looks down at me,

The one who made me cry,

The one who caused me pain,

Emotionally and physically,

The one who I fought with almost every day.

The one who I left one fine day.

The feminism inside me clapped and gave me a pat in the back for finally standing up. And I couldn't be any more proud at myself for walking away. But how unfair is it that after walking away, I can't seem to move on. My body may resides in my mother's house but my heart is stuck in that small room where I once considered as my torture chamber. Now that place is what I consider as my safe haven. Because I miss him.

The one who made me laugh at his silliness,

The one who made me feel so much,

Angry, sad, happy, frustrated, intoxicated

The one who loved and hated me,

The one who made me go crazy,

The one who keeps me awake at night with his loud music,

The one who felt everything deeply,

The one with the heart of a child,

The one with the perfect strong arms,

The one who pierced into my soul with his eyes,

The one who despite giving me rough time, saved me countless times,

The who drowned me with too many feelings,

The one who inflicted me with pain I've come to crave.

The one who turned me into this masochistic person,

And the one who I love and hate.

Most of all, the one who I miss so much that it hurts beyond words.

I know I would never feel that again. The electricity spark he strike into me with just his touch. He was charismatic and wild. The adrenaline rush that I get whenever he's around me. Brought me to places that I never knew existed. Or the way my knees go limb whenever he kisses me. I was in love with this man. I am in love with this man. And I probably always will be. How do you ever move on? Maybe, you just don't. All you do is move along with the flow. I guess you just fall in love once and I am thankful for that. For getting to feel the kind of love that rips your soul apart. That for once it's not about me but him.

Thank you for listening. I don't want to know what you've come to think of me, though. And it's time for you to disappear forever along with my thoughts of this man who contained me with feelings that I would never able to feel again with anyone else.

And she tore the piece of paper from the note pad and tore it into pieces. Her eyes were filled tears as she knows that from now on, it is wrong to even think about him. She light up the match and burnt the torn pieces of paper along with the dead leaves. She walked away realizing that this is the end between her and him.

Thank you so much reading. Sorry if this OS ruined your moods.

really nice OS, beautifully written poor Pragya she is fighting with herself