FF- Tere Mere Sapne - Story thread complete pg 3 onwards - Page 3

CHAPTER 8

They were painting a rainbow but it seemed the colours were all on their faces.

As Nidhi idly watched the two girls painting, she could not help the warm, fuzzy feeling somewhere in the region of her heart. Their radiant smiles and high pitched chatter were testimony to the unbridled joy they found in each other's company. Ashi postively hero-worshipped Riya, wanting to dress like her, braid her hair like her and even trying to mimick her soft, girly tone. What a contrast from the boisetorus little girl her daughter had been. Riya, on her part, seemed to have imbibed Ashi's adventorous spirit, daring to try out new things and voice her thoughts without too much caution. She was back to being child again. From the premature little woman that she had turned into. Ashutosh could not help but marvel over the changes in his daughter in the last few weeks.

The thought of Ashutosh took Nidhi back to the conversation that they had shared hardly three weeks ago. The day Ashi had fractured her foot.

He had startled her with his talk of Ashi's father. So much so that she had stared at him stupidly for a couple of seconds.

"Hello...where are you? I just asked you a question. Where is Ashi's father posted?"

She had come out of her trance then.

"What posted?"

Ashutosh had explained patiently.

"Arre, posted matlab where is he working now? I know he was in the Kashmir army base when Ashi was born."

"Who told you that?"

"Your Dadi Bua of course!"

"When?"

He had seemed to get slightly impatient by then.

"What is this interrogation, Nidhi? She told me the day Ashi was born. As I was leaving, I remarked that your husband should have been with you given your advanced stage of pregnancy. And she told me that he was in the army and posted in Kashmir!"

She had shrugged her shoulders in response.

"She lied!"

"Meaning he was not in Kashmir?"

"Meaning there is no husband!"

To say that he had been taken aback would have been putting it mildly. It had been his turn to gaze stupidly at her.

"Ashutosh, I have never been married. Ashi was born out of wedlock!"

That had done the trick. It had shaken him out of his stupor.

"I am sorry, Nidhi. You don't have to tell me all of this. It was just an idle question!"

Even as he had hurried to put her at ease, she had shaken her head firmly.

"No, I think we are friends enough for you to know. And no, I don't feel in the least uncomfortable or ashamed talking about it. I fell in love with a man, shared myself with him in love and then got to know he was a cad who was married to boot!"

She had hated the look of sympathy in his eyes. That was not what she wanted to see!

"Ashutosh, you do not have to feel sorry for me. I was stupid but, in my defence, I was just twenty two. I was a foolish intern who fell madly in love with a handsome doctor at the hospital where I was training. I lived in Delhi back then with my father. Interestingly enough, he is a retired army colonel. Anyway, so I fell in love with this guy, did not think twice about sleeping with him. I mean i had already given him my heart and so why was this such a big deal anyway?"

The look of sympathy had seemed to fade at that. a part of Nidhi had wondered if he thought of her as s**tty. What the hell, she was who she was!

"We were very careful but who is to deny Nature? it was destined that Ashi should be born after all. When I told him I was pregnant, he seemed overjoyed. He said he was leaving for his native town in Karnataka to meet his parents in a couple of weeks. He would speak to them and get them to meet my parents to set the wedding date. We had not planned to marry so soon but the circumstances had changed. To cut to the chase, he left for his home town, and I got to know a couple of weeks later that it was not on a vacation. He had quit his job and gone forever!"

Ashutosh had looked gobsmacked. He had opened his mouth to say something but she had held up her hand.

"Wait. I am still not done. So anyway, the icing on the cake was the fact that he was married too. The fool that I was, I had no clue of his intentions or his marital status!"

She had paused to draw a breath. Ashutosh had quietly picked up the glass of water on the table and handed it to her.

As she had sipped on it, he had asked.

"Did you not try to trace him after that? I mean someone must have had an address, contact number something!"

She had been sipping water when he had asked. She had ended up snorting so hard that she had water in her nostrils. The next she knew, he was patting her back as she had ended up sneezing and coughing simultaneously, if such a thing were even possible. When she had recovered, she had glared at him.

"Why would you ask me such a funny question right when I was having water?"

"What is so funny about that?"

"Isn't it funny to want to track a man when he wants to have nothing to do with you?"

Ashutosh had shaken his head.

"Nidhi, it does not matter what he wanted or did not want. He had a responsibility by you and Ashi?"

"You want me and Ashi to be the responsibility of someone who does not want us? Why do you think he was running? Because he did not want us. And I should have gone crawling on my knees and begged him to have us?"

Her eyes had flashed fire as she spoke and they seemed to elicit an answering gleam in his.

There was a glimmer of admiration that warmed the cockles of her heart.

As she thought back to that moment, Nidhi wondered if her relationship with him had changed defintively from then. An awareness that had probably been latent sprung to the surface. She had caught admiration in his eyes on more than one occasion when he thought she was not looking. And she was sure that he had caught the wanting in her eyes at times. Yes, she was not ashamed to admit it to herself. She wanted this man, wanted him more than any other she had ever known in her life. It was not the lust that had swept her off her feet with Ashi's father. It was an emotion that had grown slowly and steadily before she could acknowledge it or give it a name. Not that he was not an attractive man. His chiseled features, the sensuous lips and the gravelly voice were enough to drive a woman crazy. Just that they had not met as a man and a woman. Theirs had been the most unconventional of meetings. She had been in the throes of labour when she had set eyes on him first. Yet, here they were now. She was in love with a married man all over again. Was there something in her DNA? That attracted her to married men? The sitautions were hardly comparable though. Her first lover had been a downright bas***d. Ashutosh was an upstanding human being, a man who remained committed to a woman who was insane. What future did they even have? Did it even matter? When his presence filled her heart with joy even as it sent her heart racing with excitement. She was in love and she wondered if she could ever share her heart's feelings with him. Probably not! What might he think of her?

He admired her, she knew that from his eyes and he had even said it openly. He had told her he admired her strength and courage. He admired her for her spunk in deciding to keep Ashi despite the struggle it had been, her decision to move to a smaller town to spare her father's reputation in Delhi's social circles. She had moved to be with hr father's aunt in Kanpur, her Dadi Bua, who had been appalled with Nidhi's choices to begin with. She had wanted to track down Ashi's father too, just like Ashutosh, and had given up only after Nidhi had threatened to leave her home if she made an effort in that direction. And then, Ashi had been born and Dadi Bua had fallen in love. She could not imagine being away from Ashi and all thoughts of tracing her father had left her mind. She had guarded Nidhi and Ashi like a tigress, supporting Nidhi while she specialized and thereafter, when she decided to move to Lucknow for career betterment.

Nidhi wondered if Dadi Bua knew. She had seen her looking from Ashutosh to her at times and then at the two children. Maybe she was cooking up a happy ending in her mind! Poor thing, she did not know that life was no Sooraj Barjatya film where everybody lives happily ever after.

"Nima, see cake!"

She came out of reverie at the sound of Ashi's excited voice.

She had drawn a cake that seemed to tilt drunkenly to a side.

"Wow Ashi,that is a lovely cake. Is it for Nima?"

The little imp giggled.

"Noo...Didi budday cake tomorrow!"

Nidhi turned to give Riya a wide eyed look.

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Ashutosh was feeling bone tired. It had been a long, long day.

It had started with an emergency surgery. It had been a young woman who had been in a bike accident. She had suffered from intracranial bleeding. It had been touch and go for a while but they had pulled it off. She was in the ICU and was probably going to be there for a while. But he had a good feeling about her. He felt she was going to pull through and had said as much to her distraught fiance. She had been riding pillion and had been thrown off the bike on impact with a road divider. Her fiance said he had to swerve at the last minute to save a puppy that had run onto the road. He had escaped with just a couple of scratches and kept saying he wished it was him in the ICU.

A colleague had had an emergency and had taken the day off. Ashutosh had had no choice but to fill in. It was now close to half past seven in the evening and he should have been out celebrating his daguhter's brithday. Instead he was still stuck in the traffic, atleast another half an hour away from home. Riya and he were supposed to meet Nidhi and Ashi for a pizza dinner. Instead, he had only managed to send Nidhi a text cancelling their plans. He did not even have the time to give her a call.

Amidst all his fatigue, he could feel his insides warm up at the thought of Nidhi. Was Armaan right after all about the secret girlfriend part? So secret that he had not even acknowledged it to himself? Was he in love after all? He admired her like hell, her spirit, her courage, her liveliness, her love for Ashi and Riya, her eyes that sparkled with laughter, her expressive eyes that often made him wish he could just drown in them and forget that he had a life outside of them. Her long, silky hair that he wanted to wrap himself up in, so he could keep himself hidden from all that was wrong with his world. If all this meant that he was in love then probably he was.

The love he had known before was different. Mallika had been like fragile china, wrapped up in gossamer tissue. A callow youth, he had been flattered that this woman wanted his protection, wanted his shoulder to lean on, his arms to carry her over the rough terrain that was life!

Nidhi was none of that. She was fiercely independent and mentally far stronger than any other man that he knew.

They were as different from each other as chalk and cheese.

And yet, he had fallen in love with them both. What did that say of him? That he had grown up and become a different person since?
Whatever, he knew he did not have the right to love, neither legal nor moral! But that did not change a thing! He could stop himself acting on it but he could not stop the love that filled his heart at the thought of her!

The honk of a horn brought him back to the present and he pressed his foot to the accelerator as he saw that the jam up ahead had cleared up.

It took him another forty minutes to get home.

As he drove the car in, he was surprised to see the lawn lights up. A few chairs were placed around a table on which there was a birthday cake. Nidhi, Armaan and the girls were all wearing party hats and they seemed to be playing some game.

As he walked onto the lawn, Riya saw him and came running to him.

"Daddy, Nima and Riya came home to celebrate my birthday!"

He looked at Nidhi startled. He had not told her but they had not celebrated Riya's birthday at home ever since Mallika had become this way. Mrs Trehan would have the customary puja performed at the temple. Armaan would take Riya out for dinner and Ashu would join them unless his schedule intervened like today. That had been the essence of her birthday celebrations in these last few years. He wondered what Mrs Trehan had had to say about this.

As if he had guessed his thoughts, Armaan responded.

"Ashu, don't worry. All izz well. I was at home early. So when Nidhi came with a cake, all set to celebrate Riya's birthday, I just took over with the arrangements on the lawn. And before you ask,. Mother had to leave for an engagement. Of course, she was polite enough to subject Nidhi to a minor interrogation before that!"

Ashutosh looked at Nidhi apologetically but she shook her head in response.

"It's okay. It was not as bad as Armaanji is making it out to be!"

"In comparison to the Spanish inquistion, you mean?"

Suddenly all three adults were laughing and the kids joined in too, without knowing why.

Before he was done laughing though, Nidhi had picked up a piece of cake and stuffed it into his mouth.

"Sorry...we couldnt wait for you...but you know me and chocolate chip...!"

He held her hand as she fed him the cake.

They looked into each other's eyes and all seemed to be forgotten. His fingers tightened on hers and his eyes darkened.

Armaan did not seem to notice as he was busy with the girls.

But a pair of distrubed eyes did!

CHAPTER 9

"I thought Dr Verma was Nidhi's psychologist!"

Ashutosh and Armaan were seated in the library, sipping their after dinner coffees when Mrs Trehan walked in and threw the question in their general direction.

Armaan beat Ashutosh to the response.

"What's your point, Mother?"

She gave him an icy glare and turned to Ashutosh.

"Who invited her into this house? Did you see what happened to Mallika because of her?"

"What happened to Mallika happened because she has not been in her senses for the last few years. Nidhi had nothing to do with it!"

"Shut up, Armaan. Or has she used her charms on you too?"

"What is that supposed to mean?"

It was Ashutosh who responded this time in an icy tone.

"Exactly what I said. She lured you away from my daugher all those years ago and now is finding ways to enter this household. If not through you, then through Armaan maybe!"

Armaan threw a disgusted look at her.

"Mother, isn't that particularly low even by your standards?"

Ashutosh held his hand up.

"Wait Armaan. Mummyji has just made a very serious allegation. Nidhi lured me away from Mallika all those years ago? What do you mean? On what basis do you say this?

Mrs Trehan threw an envelope on the table between them.

"I think these photographs will answer your question!"

Ashutosh's face whitened when he saw the envelope.

"How did you get that envelope?"

"How does that matter?"

"You went through the contents of my wardrobe without asking me?"

"I dont need your permission for anything. This is my house!"

"You may own the house, Mummyji. You dont own me though! And you have no right to open my wardrobe in my absence"

"How else would I have found this? You would never have told us the truth. You would have maintained this sham that has people sympathising with you. Caring devotedly for a mad wife! Pity that they don't know that you have had another woman on the side all these years and a child through her as well!"

"What rubbish are you talking?"

It was Armaan who interrupted her furiously.

"Not rubbish but the truth. Dr Verma is this man's mistress and that child is his!"

"Mother, do you even know what you are talking?"

"Perfectly well. Ask him how he has photographs of that child. If Dr Verma is a psychologist we met hardly a few months ago, how is it that he has her daughter's pictures from three years ago?"

Armaan picked up the envelope and took out the contents. The images of a smiling Ashi stared back at him, with the dates inscribed behind them.

Armaan started laughing.

"So these pictures prove Ashu cheated on Mallika and had a daughter with Nidhi? Mother, in case you didn't know, we live in the day of DNA testing. And you offer photographs as a proof of your preposterous allegations!"

Ashutosh felt his heart swell at the faith his friend had in him. Not for a moment had he considered that his mother might be right. Not once had he even looked in his direction.

"Mummyji, I must appreciate your ability to put two and two together and come up with five. Yes, I did meet Nidhi four years ago. I helped her deliver Ashi in fact. But we never met again after that until a few months ago. The photographs were sent...!"

"Ashu, you don't owe her an explanation. Her twisted mind does not want to see the truth in any case!"

Mrs Trehan glared at them.

"Would you be willing to submit to a DNA test like my son has just so smartly suggested?"

Armaan was appalled by her words but they drove Ashutosh to a degree of fury that he had not know before.

"Are you out of your mind? Nidhi and her daughter owe nothing to you. I will not have them subjected to this humiliation just to clear any doubts that your dirty mind might conjure up!"

Mrs Trehan was stunned. Never before had this man spoken with such insolence to her. How dare he?

"How dare you? Get the hell out of my house now!"

"With pleasure!"

Ashutosh strode out of the room and called out to Riya.

"Ri, where are you? Come on, we have to leave now!"

The little girl came running out of her room.

"Leave Riya alone, you cannot take her. She is ours!"

Mrs Trehan stood between him and the child.

"She is my daughter, Mummyji. I am not leaving this house without my daughter!"

Armaan tried to intervene.

"Ashu, just calm down!"

"No Armaan, this has gone on for too long. She has played on my guilt conscience for too long now. I am not going to stand for this any longer. If I could, I would take Mallika too. But I will come back for her...!"

"You are not taking Riya or Mallika. Just get out now and I will have our lawyers send you a notice!"

"Mother, just shut up!"

"You shut up. You were cheering from the sidelines as he insulted me. And you were in cahoots with him over that woman. Maybe you knew the truth too. You betrayed your sister for the sake of this bas***d!"

"Mummyji!"

"Mother!"

"Get out!"

A shrill scream drowned out all their attempts to speak.

Riya had her hands on her ears as she screamed with eyes tightly shut. She then slumped on the ground in a dead faint.

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"Dadi Bua, shtory...!"

"Soja, meri bacchi...you have school tomorrow...!"

"No sleep...shtory...!"

"Yeh toh bilkul tujh pe gayi hain. Tu bhi badi ziddi ti jab iss ki umr ki ti"

Nidhi smiled at Dadi Bua as she sat browsing through a medical journal on her tab. She tried reaching for her phone in order to whatsapp a colleague about something when she realized it was missing. Now, where the hell had she put her phone?

She picked up the cordless and dialled her number, trying to track the device through the ring tone. As she walked through the flat, she realized that the ringing was coming from the kitchen. Oh yes, she had gone to get herself a glass of water and must have left the phone there then. She just hoped that there were no important calls that she had missed.

As she picked up the instrument, she realized that there were three missed calls from Ashutosh from almost half an hour ago. Why was he calling her at this late hour? Was everything okay with Riya?

Her fingers trembled as she hit the call button. He answered after a few rings.

"Nidhi?"

"what happened ? Is everything okay?"

"Nidhi, I need your help"

"Is something wrong with Ri?"

"No...at least I think she is okay now...Nidhi, can we come up?"

"What? Where are you?"

"Actually I've been circling around your block for the last fifteen minutes!"

"Shit! I am so sorry! Please come up!"

As she ended the call, she started sweated thinking of what could have gone wrong. Why was he out at this hour of the night? And with Riya?

She quickly called the security on the intercom and informed him that she was having guests.


A few minutes later, the doorbell rang and she quickly rushed to open the door.

Ashutosh had a sleeping Riya over his shoulder.

"Ashutosh,. what is wrong? Is Riya okay?"

As he looked around, she realized he was wondering where to put the sleeping child.

"I'm sorry. Come along!"

She took him into her bedroom and gestured for him to put Riya on the bed.

He did so and pulled the comforter over the sleeping child.

As he looked around, she realized he was looking for Ashi.

"She is in Dadi Bua's room. They've probably gone to sleep by now!"

As they walked back into the living room, she took a peek into Dadi Bua's room. As expected, they were indeed asleep.

"What happened, Ashutosh?"

He slumped down on to the sofa and held his head in his hands.

She went into the kitchen and got him a glass of water.

"Here, drink this water. Shall I make chai for both of us?"

He looked up at her and nodded weakly.

She half expected him to follow her to the kitchen but he did not.

Clearly he was in a very disturbed state.

She quickly made the tea, put the mugs on a tray and took it back into the living room.

He was looking so gaunt and miserable, his head resting against the back of the sofa and eyes half closed.

As if sensing her presence, he opened his eyes and sat up.

"Ashutosh, what happened?"

"Nidhi, Ri had another attack today!"

She sighed heavily.

"What happened?"

"She witnessed a massive row between Mrs Trehan and me and she started screaming loudly and then she collapsed. I managed to revive her and then just took her up in my arms and left that house!"

"What happened?"

He remained silent and she had an inkling of what it could possibly be.

"Is this something to do with me?"

He looked at her sharply.

"How did you know?"

Nidhi sighed again.

"I specialize in children but I do have a general understanding of the human mind. She was not happy to see me yesterday. And then Mallika had an episode. So, she must have said something to you for sure!"

"She did. She accused me of being Ashi's father!"

She looked at him astounded.

"What? How did she come to that conclusion?"

"Because I have Ashi's baby pictures?"

Nidhi looked incredulous.

"How does that mean anything? I am sure you could have explained how it all happened?"

"I did and then she asked if we could have a DNA test!"

"What!"

"I lost it then, Nidhi! I spoke to her like I have never in all my life. Particularly in the last four years!"

Nidhi looked into his eyes.

"What happened to Mallika, Ashutosh? What are you feeling so guilty about?"

"I am guilty, Nidhi. But for me, she would not be this way!"

"How can you be the reason for anyone to lose their sanity?"

"I was the reason for her to have the accident that caused her to lose her sanity!"

"You mean you were driving the car or something?"

"How could I have been when I was with you!"

Nidhi was appalled.

"She had an accident the day Ashi was born?"

He shook his head wearily.

"Yes. We had had a massive row that morning. She wanted me not to go to Kanpur to help a friend out with a surgery. There was some felicitation that evening, her mother had won some award. Our lives pretty much revolved around her mother after we came back from the UK"

"You were in the UK?"

"I was going there for my higher studies. Mallika wanted to go with me and the only way for that to happen was for us to get married. I was just twenty four and not really sure about the idea of marriage. But Mallika wanted it and Mrs Trehan made sure she got it. She spoke to my parents and convinced them somehow and that was that. The Trehans have a business office in London and Mallika was supposed to manage that. Things were great to begin with although I had a hectic schedule. Mallika was happy to start married life in the UK without the presence of elders. So we pretty much lived life the way we wanted. We were very, very happy and then Mallika conceived Riya. She came back to India for her delivery although I couldnt be there with her because I had my semester exams. Then she came back to London with Riya and things were still fine. But when Riya was three years old, Mrs Trehan suffered a mild heart attack and insisted we return to India. Although, we lived in an independent apartment, Mallika started taking Riya and spending long hours at her mother's place. She slowly started taking on her mother's responsibilities. I did not have a problem with any of that so long as she did not interfere in our lives!"

He sighed hard. Nidhi felt like asking him to stop. He seemed in so much of torment but he was better off getting it off his chest.

"Mrs Trehan slowly started controlling Mallika and interfering with our lives. Mallika and I started having spats on and off. She was qutie a possessive wife and suspicious by nature. Her mother fed it into her head that men were not to be trusted and that she must learn to control me. I got an opportunity to join AIIMS in Delhi but had to let it go because Mrs Trehan was not willing to let Mallika leave!"

"So what happened that day, AShutosh?"

"I was to help a friend with a surgery. Just before I left, Mallika and i had a massive row. I told her I was committed to saving lives and not dancing attendance around her mother. She got furious and threatened that she would take Riya and go stay with her mother. i did not have the time to argue and asked her to do whatever she wanted. She would not let me be in peace and kept calling me all the time except when I was in surgery. As I left Kanpur for Lucknow, she called and asked me where I was. I told her that I was returning home and she insisted I get back in time for the evening function. I was tired of her repeated nagging and told her that I was not going to take her calls anymore and that I wanted to focus on my driving. I cut the call and did not take her calls after that. Then your Dadi Bua stopped me mid way and I left my phone in the car. After I left your place, I noticed that there were some hundred missed calls from Mallika and a few from Mrs Trehan. I did not even bother to return their calls. Then, as I was entering Lucknow, Armaan called me and told me she had been in an accident. She had rammed her car into a tipper lorry and had suffered a serious head injury. They had rushed her to the hospital where they had to perform an emergency surgery because she was suffering from intracranial bleeding. She had suffered what we call a trauma brain injury or a TBI. She was in coma for four days and when she woke up, she had convinced herself that I was leaving her for another woman. She was diagnosed as psyhotic and spent about eight months in the hopsital before Mrs Trehan decided to care for her at home. There was no choice for me and RIya but to shift to their house along with Mallika!"

He had not realized but there were tears streaming down his cheeks as he spoke. Nidhi could not bear to see him so distraught. She wiped his cheeks with her fingers and hugged him tight.

"Its okay, Ashutosh. It is not your fault!"

"It is, Nidhi, If I had taken her calls, she would not have driven her car rashly and she would not have been in an accident!"

"How do you know that the accident would not have taken place anyway! Stop killing yourself over it!"

She caressed his back in a bid to calm him down. They remained like that for a very long time before they both realized that there was a shift in their body rhythms. A new awareness that now superseded the trauma that had bound him to her.

They drew apart slowly and looked into each other's eyes.

Nidhi saw how weary and sleep deprived he look.

"Ashutosh, go and sleep in the guest bedroom!"

"No Nidhi, I came here only to ask you to take care of Riya. I will go to the hospital and sleep in my room. I will come back for Riya in the morning!"

"Dont be stupid. I have a guest room and a bed. Why do you have to settle for a couch? Just go and sleep now!"

He seemed too weary to argue any further and let her show him into the bedroom.

She closed the door behind him and went back into her room where Riya lay on her bed.

She gazed for a long time at the sleeping girl. What trauma she had had to go through already! Soon her eyelids started closing of their own accord and she fell asleep with an arm across the child.

She was suddenly woken up by the ringing of the phone. She realized it was Ashutosh's. He must have left it on the bed stand while putting Riya to sleep.

It was four in the morning.

She picked up the phone and saw that it was Armaan calling.

She quickly went to the guest room and found Ashutosh fast asleep. Not having the heart to wake him up, she took the call herself. Maybe he was just checking to see if Ashutosh and Riya were fine.

"Armaanji, Nidhi here. Sorry but Ashutosh is sleeping. Riya is with me and she is fine. Don't worry!"

"Nidhi, please wake him up!"

The tone of his voice troubled her.

"Armaanji?"

"Mallika has slit her wrists!"

CHAPTER 11


"I want my granddaughter back!"

It was just over a month since Mallika had passed on. A month of mourning and rituals. Mrs Trehan was a great believer in ritual and tradition. She had ensured that every rite of passage to ensure the peaceful crossover of the soul had been performed. And in the presence of family, friends and high society, she had had no choice but to keep her peace with Ashutosh.

He had moved back into the house the day Mallika had left them. It had seemed the greatest of ironies to him. It was only for Mallika's sake that he had first moved into this house. And now he was doing it again, only this time there was no Mallika. Instead it was almost a voluntary move this time because he thought it was the right thing to do. They had all lost, the Trehan family a daughter, Armaan a sister, he his wife and Riya her mother. They probably needed to be together to be of some source of solace to each other. For the loss was heartrending for them all.

Riya though had refused to budge. After much thought, Nidhi had brought Riya to the house after they had taken Mallika back home. The child had become distraught and clung tightly to Nidhi, begging her to take her away from there. A helpless Nidhi had looked at him and Armaan had been the one to take charge. He had protectively sheperhed Nidhi and Riya away from the room where the visitors were gathering to pay homage to Mallika. Ashutosh had himself been in such a daze that he had been happy to let Armaan take over. He had still been reeling under the shock of losing Mallika and not knowing if his last interaction with Mallika was even real or a dream that his sleep deprived brain had conjured up. For Nidhi had had to shake him hard and point out to the monitor before he even realized that Mallika was gone. She had not wanted to trouble their consciences with the burden of taking that painful decision. So the heart had simply ceased to beat. Maybe after she had been gently kissed by her husband one last time, either for real or in his dream.

In the harrowing days that followed, Nidhi had had to accompany Riya everytime she was even required to come back for a ritual. She had clung tight to her and insisted that she be with her in every step. Mrs Trehan could not do or say much in front of an audience. She had wanted Riya to accompany them to Haridwar for the immersion of the ashes but Armaan had put his foot down. He had said that it was as important for Riya to be in peace as it was for Mallika's soul. And no amount of rituals and prayers would bring peace to Mallika's soul in any case if Riya was in torment.

With the Haridwar trip over, the rituals had come to a close. Ashutosh knew that he had to think of a way out for the situation with Riya. He was not sure she would even want to come back to this house anymore. He couldnt possibly leave her with Nidhi forever. He had to find a flat for himself and Riya and maybe Nidhi would help her settle down in the new environment. He would devote the rest of his life to caring for his daughter. There was nothing very much left. Not immediately anyway. He cared deeply for Nidhi and if it was destined, maybe he would make the move some day. Not now, it was still too soon!

"I said I want Riya back!"

Ashutosh looked up at his mother in law wearily.

"Mummyji, I want Riya back too. In my life, with me forever!"

"So go and bring her back. For Riya's sake, I will forgive you for whatever you said the other day. i will tolerate your presence under my roof for the sake of my grandchild. I dont think I will have another in this lifetime!"

The last line was thrown in Armaan's direction.

He snorted loudly in response.

"Mother, I'd have to be a mad man to want to marry after being witness to my father's lifelong humilaition. So any grandchild you have may not be legitimate and am not sure if you would want to have any other kind in this house!"

Mrs Trehan glared at him.

"Shut up, Armaan. you are not being funny!"

"Believe me, Mother! I wasn't even trying!"

Ashutosh held up his hand.

"Sorry to interrupt, Armaan. But let me just get done here first! Mummy ji, I am moving out!"

Mrs Trehan looked at him incredulously.

"What do you mean moving out?"

"I mean leaving this house forever, finding a home for myself and my daughter!"

Armaan looked at Ashutosh approvingly.

"Go Ashutosh! I have a friend who is looking for a tenant in fact. You can move in whenever you want! I will do all that I can facilitate this just so Riya does not come back under her influence again!"

Mrs Trehan looked pained.

"What have I done for you to hate me like this, Armaan? I have lost my only daughter. My granddaughter is all I have left. And you are conspiring with this man to get her away from me?"

Armaan looked at her scornfully.

"You destroyed Mallika's life with your influence. I'd have to be mad to stand by and watch you do the same to Riya!"

Mrs Trehan turned to Ashutosh.

"You took my daughter away from me. You owe me!"

"Owe you what? My daughter in return for yours?"

She was enraged.

"Its her, its that bitch, she poisoned my own blood against me. She took you away from my daughter and now, she's taking my granddaughter away from me!"

Ashutosh looked at her with contempt.

"I am not going to dignify your allegations with a response, Mummyji. I am going to excuse you on the grounds that your mind is mad with grief!"

"You are calling me mad?"

"Some of us like Mallika are diagnosed, Mummyji. And others like you and me probably find ways to escape the label!"

He turned to Armaan.

"Please Armaan. Speak to your friend and ask him when I can move in. I''ll find a place to stay till then!"

As he turned on his heel and walked out, she shouted after him.

"Am sure you won't have to try hard! She must be waiting with the door open already, the bitch!"

His fists clenched for a moment but he left without uttering another word.

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"Kab tak rahegi hamari saath?"

The two children had retired for the night. Nidhi was idly switching channels, trying to find something that would put her to sleep when Dadi Bua decided it was time for some serious talk.

"Matlab? Main samjhi nahi!"

"Beta, I understand your concern for the child. But she has a father and a family. It is normal for her to be with them. Isn't it time you found a way to help her go back?"

Nidhi sighed.

"Dadi Bua, when a child has just lost her mother, I don't think we should be discussing normal. What makes her happy and comfortable is what matters for now! And you know she has grown very attached to me!"

"And that is the biggest problem, Nidhi. She has found a mother figure in you and she does not want to let you go!"

"What is so wrong about that? You know she is not different from Ashi to me. I love her, Dadi Bua, with all my heart! Do you have a problem taking care of two girls. Shall I ask Chote Sarkar to find us some extra help?"

"Silly child, that is hardly the problem. Both the children are hardly any trouble. Although Ashi is a shaitan. I keep worrying she will break another foot or an arm. Like I said, the problem is that she sees you as a mother figure. What if tomorrow, Doctor Saab remarries? What will happen then? When she has a step mother, a new mother?"

Nidhi frowned at the thought.

"Dadi Bua, Mallikaji hasnt been dead for a month even and you are talking about him being married again. Ashutosh is not like that!"

Dadi Bua sighed hard.

"One month or six months or even a year or two later, what if he marries someone else then?"

Nidhi tried hard to keep her face blank, not to reveal that the thought was anathema to her.

"If he does, then I'll help Riya bond with her!"

Dadi Bua sighed again.

"Isn't it sort of unfair to her? To make her bond with another woman when she has already bonded with you?"

Nidhi's brow creased in a frown.

"What do you want me to do then?"

"Why not keep her with you forever?"

"Dadi Bua, she has a father. He has found a flat and is moving in over the weekend. He wants me to bring RIya over and help her settle down. How can I keep her from him?"

"Who said she should be away from him?"

Nidhi was exasperated now.

"So what exactly are you saying then?"

"That Doctor Saab can move in with us. Why does he need to find a separate flat?"

Nidhi was thoughtful now.

"We do have the space. I mean there is a guest bedroom. So maybe he can stay with us temporarily till Riya feels confident about leaving me and then, he could move into another place!"

Dadi Bua frowned at her now.

"Are you being deliberately obtuse?"

"What?"

"I am talking about his moving in with us forever!"

"How is that possible, Dadi Bua?"

"It will be if the two of you marry!"

Nidhi was shocked. Where had the thought come from?

"Are you crazy? Where did you get the idea from?"

"From your eyes, everytime you look at him!"

She looked at her disbelievingly.

"Dadi Bua...i ...you,..he..?"

"Nidhi, you forget that I can read your eyes, meri bacchi. Maybe God had a plan when He sent Doctor Saab to your side when you delivered Ashi!"

Nidhi sighed deeply.

"I dont know about that. Yes, I wont lie to you. I do care a lot for him. If I close my eyes, I can imagine the four of us being a family!"

"You don't have to close your eyes, Nidhi. You just have to see the four of you through my eyes. Your hearts are already bonded, Nidhi!"

"Dadi Bua, I don't even know what he thinks. And it is too soon. It is wrong to even think like this right now!"

The intercom sounded just then. The security told her that she had a visitor in the name of Armaan Trehan. After asking for him to be sent up, she looked at Dadi Bua in confusion.

"Why is Armaanji coming here at this time of the night, Dadi Bua? is everything okay with Ashutosh?"

"Didnt you speak to him just about half an hour ago? he must be fine!"

Nidhi looked troubled still as she went to open the door.

Armaan looked rather solemn, a change from his usual cheerful self.

"Sorry to bother you at this hour, Nidhi. Something urgent thought!"

"Is Ashtuosh okay?"

She had no clue how revealing her eyes and voice were. The expression in them served to strengthen Armaan's resolve though.

"He's fine. Don't worry."

She relaxed visibly as she gestured to him to take his seat.

"Aap log baatein kijiye. Main chaai laati hoon!"

"No Maaji, aap bhi baitiye. Aap ka rehna bhi zaroori hai!"

As Nidhi shut the door and joined Dadi Bua on the couch, Armaan faced them both with an earnest expression.

"Nidhi, will you marry Ashutosh?

Chapter 12

"Nima...Didi..Ashi...Daddy ..sleep!"

Ashi looked at Ashutosh with uncustomary shyness, clearly still getting used to the changed term of address. She had dragged her pillow along as she entered Nidhi's room, despite the entreaties of Dadi Bua and Riya, who was suddenly looking all grown up in the dull orange lehenga that she had worn to their wedding.

Nidhi had expressed her preference for a register office ceremony but Armaan had told her that they did not have that kind of time to spare. This marriage was not a celebration of love or companionship, it was more an effort to protect a child after all!

It was a fact that she was best off reminding herself of as often as possible, Nidhi thought. This was no realization of her secret fantasies. And she still had no clue what Ashutosh even thought of the whole affair.

The morning after Armaan's late evening visit, Ashutoshhad dropped by to see Riya. It was a Saturday and the original plan had been for Riya to shift in with Ashutosh over that weekend. Instead, he had awkwardly entered the house and without so much as meeting her eye, had asked her hesitantly if she was sure of what she was getting into.

She was still recovering from the events of the previous evening and how things had seemed to snowball after that. Even as she had gaped at Armaan's abrupt question, Dadi Bua had smiled broadly and said,

"Humein yeh risththa manzoor hai!"

Nidhi had looked towards her in shock. The old woman had glared back defiantly.

"Ladke ke ghar se rishtha aaya hai. Ab ladki thodi bolegi haan ya na!"

Nidhi had snorted in response.

"Dadi Bua please, this is not some conventional marriage proposal for elders to decide upon!"

She had turned back to Armaan and asked,

"What is the problem, Armaanji?"

Armaan sighed hard and answered in one word.

"Mother!"

Nidhi's shoulders had slumped.

"She wants custody?"

Armaan had looked at her appreciatively.

"Bingo. But it does not stop at that! She wants to use a non-exisitng relationship between Ashutosh and you to tarnish his reputation and establish him as a bad influence on Ri. Her lawyers had a notice served on Ashutosh today at the hospital!"

Why hadn't he told her? Was that why he sounded so weary and defeated?

As if sensing her thoughts, Armaan responded.

"Why can't we just make her fears come true, Nidhi? Wtih regard to the two of you?"

Nidhi had shaken her head.

"Armaanji, that makes no sense. We can't get married just to prove a point to your mother. Am sure Ashutosh wouldn't want that either. He would want to fight her for sure. We will all stand by him!"

Armaan had scowled.

"Don't talk to me about that spineless fool. He is wondering if he should accept her ultimatum and move back in with us!"

Nidhi was shocked.

"But why? Riya won't be happy there and neither will he!"

Armaan looked right into her eyes as he retorted.

"Riya would be happiest with you, Nidhi!"

Nidhi looked at him helplessly.

"I would be happiest with her too, Armaanji...but?"

"Do you know why Ashutosh does not want to fight the custody battle?"

"Because it would affect Riya?"

"More because it would affect Ashi and you. My mother will spare no effort to make ugly allegations about the two of you and even Ashi. He does not want Ashi and you to go through any humiliation!"

Nidhi could not help the tears that sprung to her eyes, He wanted to protect her daughter and her and he would compromise on his own peace for that?

Armaan had been watching her closely.

"Nidhi, are you in love with anyone?"

Nidhi had looked at him in shock.

"Nn..No Armaanji..why do you ask?"

"Do you think Ashutosh is a decent bloke?"

Before she could help herself, she had blurted out.

"He is wonderful..he..I..!"

Crimson had stained her cheeks even as she had restrained herself from saying more.

Armaan had not seemed to notice.

"So, if both of you like each other, love each other's kids and are not committed to other partners, what is wrong with coming together as a family?"

"But Armaanji..?"

It was Dadi Bua who interevened this time.

"Nidhi, are you waiting for something or someone?"

Nidhi had looked at her angrily.

"Dadi Bua, how can you even think..?"

"So why are you hesitating then?"

"But what will Ashutosh...?"

Armaan had held up a hand.

"Leave him to me. He is my problem!"

She had had no clue what transpired between the two friends. But when Ashutosh had asked her haltingly if she was marrying him out of free choice, she had been pressed not to shout out that it was much more than choice. Try as she might to convince herself that the relationship was a matter of expediceny, she could not control the warmth that risen to her cheeks and the sudden racing of her pulse when he had walked into the flat. Armaan had called her prior to then and told her Ashutosh had agreed to go ahead with the wedding plans.

When she had heard the trepidation in his voice, she realized that he needed reassuring just as his daughter did.

"Ashutosh!"

He had looked up at her soft utterance of his name. They had stared into each other's eyes and neither was sure how long it would have lasted if the girls had not broken the moment.

"Nima...Daddy..!"

Ashutosh had smiled broadly at the girls and caught them both to his side.

"Girls, come along, I want you to help me with something very important!"

His eyes had beckoned Nidhi to follow them.

As they had sat on the couch, Ashutosh had held both girls on either side of him and asked them in a serious tone.

"Ri and Ashi, what do you think of staying together forever?"

Forever had been a new word to Ashi. As she had frowned over its meaning, Riya had looked at her father in wide eyed wonder.

"I can stay with Nima forever? I don't have to go with you to that flat?"

Ashutosh had pretended to be hurt.

"You don't want to stay with Daddy?"

He had turned to Ashi.

"Will you come stay with me?"

Ashi had thought for a moment before shaking her head solemnly.

"Ashi...Didi...Nima...Uncle. stay?"

He'd corrected her gently.

"Ashi ...Didi...Nima...Daddy?"

She had looked at him in confusion and then at her mother.

Ashutosh had turned to RIya.

"Would you like that, Ri? For Daddy to stay with you here? For all of us to stay together forever? For Ashi to call me Daddy too?"

Riya had looked at him wide eyed.

"Then Nima will be my new Mumma?"

Tears had gathered in her large eyes but she had bravely held them back from spilling.

Ashutosh had nodded gently and put his hand out for her to place her palm on.

She had placed her palm on his and he had pulled her close to him.

After snuggling upto her father, she had turned to Nidhi.

"Nima, will you be my Mumma? And can my daddy be Ashi's Daddy too?"

Nidhi had had to bite her lip to hold herself back from breaking into sobs. She had nodded tremulously and the little girl had disengaged herself from her father and locked her arms around Nidhi's neck. Ashu had held his hand out to Ashi.

"Daddy?"

Ashi had looked at her mother for approval and then nodded solemnly as she placed her palm on his. He had swept the little girl into his arms and hugged her close to his heart.

And here they were now, all four of them, on the same bed, the little girls giggling and unmindful of the tension between the adults.

Dadi Bua bustled into the room just then.

"Ashi, Riya., come along, Dadi Bua will tell you Ramayana story tonight?"

Riya was about to get up when Ashi screamed loudly.

"No shtory...sleep...Nima..didi...Ashi...Daddy!"

And that was that!
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Ashutosh could not begin to get over how much life had changed in the last month and a half since he had married Nidhi. After a very long time, he had begun to look forward to waking up every day. Life had begun to seem like a blessing and it seemed that the Gods had finally decided to smile upon Riya and him. She had been liberated from the trauma of her past and was just like any other normal nine year old now. Possibly because of Mallika's condition of the last few years, even her passing had not impacted Riya so much. She had anyway lost a mother in many ways the day they had lost Mallika to psychosis. After four years almost, she had a mother who adored her to death. Ashi had grown so confident of his affection now that she often fought with Riya for the first right to him. The generous Riya did not mind it one bit ,subconsciously realizing that the little girl was having a male influence in her life for the first time in her life and letting her enjoy complete access to him.

Aftter throwing the initial hissy fit, Mrs Trehan seemed to have retreated into her corner too as she had realized that she did not have a leg to stand on legally anymore.

All in all, life was perfect with the only sore point, if one could call it, being the the impasse in his relationship with Nidhi. As close knit as they grew as a family, the more awkward the silences became when it was just the two of them together. Ashutosh was unsure what she felt or wanted anymore. There was so much he wanted to tell her, so much he wanted to share with her but was she even interested in any of it? When Armaan had told him that Nidhi had agreed to marry him, he couldnt help feeling a secret surge of delight within him. Of course, the fact that Mallika had been gone hardly six weeks ago was a deterrent.

"Mallika went just about six weeks ago, Armaan. Doesn't it seem almost obscene to you. You are proposing this a solution but society will not see it that way?"

"Why does it matter to you what society thinks, Ashu? And while on the time span, why does a month seem more obscene than a year? Who is to judge that? Do you want longer so your memories of my sister can fade better? Isn't that more obscene then? Isn't it more humane to want to live your life today even while you cherish the memories of your yesterdays with Mallika. And anyway, what kind of a marriage have you had in the last few years. Someone else in your place might have moved on much earlier, Ashutosh. So, quit talking about silly things and grab the offer while you have a chance. What if Nidhi says no a year later?"

The shock and fear in Ashu's eyes had been a dead giveaway!

Armaan had laughed outright.

"You know something, much as you two would like to believe that this is a relationship born out of expediency, you love each other. In truth this is a love marriage but it is just that Dadi Bua and I are arranging it. It may well have happened organically a year later if my mother had not decided to armtwist you!"

"Armaan, don't you think you are assuming too much?"

"Are you saying I don't know you, my friend?"

"You may know me but you don't know Nidhi!"

"Nidhi's eyes give her truth away, my dear. And if you haven't been able to spot it yet, you are nothing short of blind!"

Ashutosh was not so sure. She hardly ever looked him in the eye these days for him to try reading them. They had very little time to themselves as it was and whenever they did,. she made a good job of looking away from him.

Would she think him cheap and depraved if he told her how much he longed for her? How desirable she had seemed yesterday for example, when she had been towelling her hair dry after a shower and unknowingly let a few drops of water sprinke in his direction. She had thought he was fast asleep but he had been lying with eyes closed, enjoying the feel of her unihibited proximity and the off key humming that she was attempting. Instead of feeling cold, the water droplets seemed to set his skin on fire wherever they fell. He had desperately wanted to pull her down to him and kiss her mindless. What if she thought he was a depraved, sex maniac though? What if she found him crass and insensitive because he could not control his libido when Mallika had been gone hardly three months!

"Daddy, what will you get me for Christmas?"

Ashi's shrill tone cut into his reverie. It was another lazy Sunday and he lay sprawled on the couch half aleep after a heavy meal of dum biriyani and kheer.

"Hey, I am not Santa Claus. Shouldn't you be asking him that question?"

Nidhi looked up from the book she was reading and smiled as the girls giggled in unison.

"We did. Dadi Bua took us to the mall the other day and we saw him there. He even gave us gifts but not what we both wanted!"

"No Ri, Ashi..you are not getting a puppy. I am sorry but Dadi Bua has her hands full with the two of you and she cannot take care of a puppy as well. Besides we live in a flat and we can't have puppies here.

Dadi Bua called out from her room.

"I'm happy to do anything for the girls. Don't use me as an excuse!"

Nidhi made a face. She thought the old lady had been having her afternoon siesta.

The girls looked at Ashutosh expectantly. Ashi was about to say something when Ashutosh interrupted.

"I am happy to get whatever you girls want if you can convince your Nima. I have already been looking for independent bunglaows because you girls are growing and need more space. So that is not a problem. And I am happy to get additional help even. So sorry, girls, it is your Mumma who has to say yes.!"

The girls looked at Nidhi mournfully now.

"No girls, I am sorry, You can't have a puppy, sorry!"

"But Mumma, we never asked for a puppy. We want a baby brother as a Christmas gift!"

Chapter 13

"Daddy here..Papa US..Ashi photo Nima send...!"

Ashi lisped as she showed off her baby pictures to Riya.

The older girl looked at Nidhi quizically.

"Nima, Ashi also has another Papa?"

Nidhi's eyes sought Ashu's involuntarily, as she wondered how to answer that one.

"Of course Ri..just like you had another Mumma!"

"But Daddy, my other Mumma has gone to heaven!"

The unexpressed thought being that people could not come back from heaven unlike the US.

Before either adult could respond, Riya had her arm protectively around Ashi.

"Ashi, will you go away with your Papa if he comes to take you?"

AShi shook her head solemnly.

"Nima...Ashi...Didi...Daddy!"

That had become her favourite phrase.

Nidhi and Ashutosh smiled at each other, thankful that the girls had seemingly resovled this issue between themselves and not asked for any further explanations.

Unlike the other day when a red faced Nidhi had looked at Ashutosh almost helplessly, wondering how to handle the request for a baby brother. It seemed to her that he was looking at her teasingly, waiting just as eagerly for a response. Or was it wishful thinking on her part? They had shared the bedroom with the girls every night in the three months plus that they had been married. While it was Ashi who had gotten the tradition started, it seemed to her that Ashutosh actively encouraged it. He did not once ask them to sleep with Dadi Bua.

Was he uncomfortable being alone with her? Did he not want her? Was it too soon since Mallika? Would he think her desperate if she insisted that the girls stay with Dadi Bua? Not sure of what he wanted or thought, she had not said anything either.

"Nima...baby...!"

Ashi's insistent tone had broken through her reverie.

"Girls, we'll talk about Christmas gifts later. Ri, what about the English test that you had to prepare for? Get out your book now. Let's do the lesson together?"

She had diverted their attention for the moment but the tension between her and Ashutosh had seemed to heighten further post that. Like two days ago when they had collided with each other just as he exited the shower. She had gone to the bedroom to get her phone when the bathroom door had opened and he had stepped out with just a towel around his waist. She had behaved like a silly teenager and tried to rush out of the room, only succeeding in bringing herself up against his hard, damp frame. He had smelt heavenly, a mixture of his pine shower gel, mint cologne and a masculine odour all his own. She had felt mildly lightheaded and had to control a desperate urge to hug him tight and press her heated body against the dampness of his. Feeling hot with embarassment and a deep hunger that he seemed to have roused within her, she had fled from the room after muttering a hasty apology.

"Nidhi, I have to attend a family wedding in Kanpur over the coming weekend. I am thinking of taking the girls with me and Chote Sarkar can also go along with us to help. Girls, do you want to go? You can both wear lehengas and look like two pretty princesses and dance and sing and eat lots of jalebis, moti chur laddus, kachodis and lots of other yummy, yummy food"

The girls were dancing with excitement before either parent could even open their mouths.

"Yaay...shaadi...shaadi...!"

Ashutosh and Nidhi looked at each other, both inevitably thinking of what it meant for them? Two days and two nights with no one else for company, no buffers and no distractions!

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"Dadi Bua, what do you expect me to do? Do a strip tease or something?"

Nidhi was both tired and irritated after the half an hour lecture on how she should become a wife to her husband.

"Nidhi, surely you are not asking me for ideas on how to seduce your husband!"

"Dadi Bua, maybe he does not want to be seduced. He has not given me any indication that he wants to be seduced or that he wants me even. I have heard of mothers asking their daughters to be demure and accepting but here you are asking me to be forward and aggressive!"

"Maybe, Damaad ji feels the same. Maybe he thinks you are not interested in taking this relationship further. You need to be the one to make the first move in this case!"

"Why?"

"Nidhi, he may be scared of rejection. Think about it from his perspective. He lost his wife just a few months ago, although they have not been in a normal relationship for almost four years. He may feel that you may judge him for this!"

Maybe the old lady had a point after all!

Her words left Nidhi deep in thought.

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"Damaad ji, you are both wonderful parents. But don't you think a married couple need to be more than that? Riya aur Ashi ko toh ab Maa Baap donon ka pyaar mil gaya hai. Par meri bacchi ko bhi uske hisse ka pyaar milna chahiye na? Aur aap ko bhi apni jeevan se kuch ummeedein hongi na?"

The old lady had had an almost pleading expression on her face when she had approached him last night. He had not known what to say but had just held her hands and assured her that Nidhi's happiness was something that he cared deeply about and was committed to.

Now he sat in his cabin, unsure of what to do next? How did he tell Nidhi that he wanted to be more than her children's father. That he wanted to be her husband and her lover?

The phone on his table rang and he picked it up.

"Sir, your wife is here to see you!"

CHAPTER 14

It was probably ridiculous considering they had been married for three months or more but he felt kicked hearing the receptionist refer to Nidhi as his wife. She was the mother of his daughters, yes, but she was his wife and soon, she would hopefully be his lover too. The thought brought a sappy grin to his face that widened at the sight of his lovely wife.

Unlike her usual work clothes, she was dressed in a gorgeous purple chiffon saree that made the most of her curvaceous figure. Except pn their wedding day, when she had worn a deep maroon Tussar silk, he had never seen her in a saree before. The outfit did a lot to her and a lot more to him. Damn, she was hot!

"Hope you don't mind my dropping in?"

Her tentatively voiced question broke through his lasvicious thoughts!

"No, no, of course not, in fact it is a lovely surpirse, I mean it is lovely to see you, I mean you are looking lovely!"

His hastily uttered words had her blushing prettily even as he cursed himself for his lack of finesse. He was not a callow youth, dammit! He was a mature man in his thirties, surely he knew better how to make a woman feel special.

"Are you busy for the next few hours?"

Nidhi's concience chided her for asking a question that she already knew the answer to. She had already checked with his receptionist and found out that he had a very light day. His only scheduled surgery was over in the morning and he was through with his rounds too. The receptionist had only been too happy to share all the information she had wanted when she had told her in a conspiratiorial whisper that she was planning a surprise for her husband. In fact she had acquired a dreamy look in her eyes and wished her goodluck.

"Nidhi, is there something the matter?"

She looked at him wonderingly.

"No, why do you ask?"

"I told you twice that I am free for the afternoon. You seemed lost in your own thoughts! Is there something wrong?"

She shook her head hurriedly.

"No no, I was just wondering..?"

"Wondering?"

After drawing a deep breath and gathering her courage, she blurted out.

"If you would want to go shopping and catch a movie with me?"

He seemed surprised.

"You want me to go shopping with you? You don't want to take any of your girlfriends along?"

She felt like stamping her foot and screaming. Why would she want her girlfriends along when she wanted to spend time with her wickedly handsome but impossibly stupid husband.

Ashutosh had to work hard to control his chuckle at the expression on her face.

So, she was courting him after all! He wondered idly if Dadi Bua had said something to her too!

"All my girlriends are busy with their boyfriends!"

Her irritated tone and her flared nostrils made her look cuter still.

"Oh really! Well, if you think I can be of help, then I guess I don't mind!"

She looked affronted at that.

"Oh really! If it is such a hardship, then forget about it.!"

As she stood up angrily, Ashutosh realized that he had probably played hard to get far too long.

"No no, of course not, now that you have asked, I have to go. We had such fun the last time we went shopping with the girls. They are not here now but hopefully we will find ways to keep each other entertained!"

Was that an innuendo or was that an innuendo?

Nidhi looked at him through narrowed eyes but his innocent, butter wont melt in my mouth expression gave nothing away.

"I dont know about you but I have been told I am good company!"

"Is that a challenge?"

"If you think so!"

"Lady, you are in for the afternoon of your life. Let me show you how exciting a companion your husband can be!"

As he rummaged through the table draw to get his car keys out, she hid the sappy grin the word husband elicited!

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"Dr Mathur, the Director wanted to see you for a minute!"

Ashutosh cursed his luck.

Why couldn't the peon have come five minutes later. It was like he was lurking in the corridor and waiting for them to step out of the cabin just so he could spoil their pleasure.

One look at Nidhi's crestfallen expression and his decision was made.

"Nidhi, would you mind going along with me. Am sure it won't take long and you can say hello to him as well!"

She smiled happily in response and he hurried towards the director's cabin with her half running to keep up with him.

As they entered the room, he told Dr Dubey smilingly

"Goodafternoon Sir, I have a visitor for you?"

Dr Dubey rose from his chair on seeing Nidhi. She quickly touched his feet and he hugged her warmly in response.

"So good to see you, Nidhi. And might I say, you are looking lovelier after the wedding. Hope this idiot has been keeping you well!"

"Thank you, Sir. And yes, he is very good to me!"

This with a sidelong glance at him.

Just then, Ashutosh noticed that there was someone else as well in the room. When Dr Dubey realized that he had forgotten all about him, he said loudly,

"Arre, sorry Ashok, I was so excited seeing Nidhi that I forgot that I had called Ashutosh to introduce you to him. Ashu, this is Dr Ashok Mehra and he is joining our nephrology department. He was with a hospital in Delhi earlier. A very promising young physician!"

Dr Mehra was not looking at Ashutosh though. He was staring at Nidhi and she seemed startled to see him too.

"Hello Dr Mehra, this is Dr Nidhi Verma, my wife!"

"Hello Dr Mathur, I know your wife, I mean Dr Nidhi. She interned at our hospital in Delhi. How are you, Dr Verma?"

Nidhi seemed to have recovered from her surprise and responded to him in a rather cold fashion.

"I am fine, Dr Mehra!"

Dr Dubey interrupted just then.

"Ashu, Nidhi is here and looks all dressed up. i think you have some plans for the day?"

"Yes Sir. Actually we do. I am done with all my work for the day. So...!"

"'Of course, you must. Dr Mehra, they are newlyweds!"

"Oh, congratulations!"

He put his hand out and Ashutosh shook it.

"Thank you Dr Mehra...shall we go, Nidhi?"

As they stepped out of Dr Dubey's cabin, Ashutosh noticed that Nidhi looked just a little wan!

"Are you okay, Nidhi. You seem dull all of a sudden? Why don't we put our plans on hold?"

She shook her head vehemently.

"No no, of course not! I am fine and the plans stay!

She noticed Dr Mehra stepping out of the cabin through the corner of her eye and took hold of Ashutosh's hand and gave him a dazzling smile.

"Shall we go?"
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What an afternoon it was!

They fought like kids over which movie to watch! He wanted to watch 'The Fault lies in their Stars' while she had wanted to see 'Bang Bang'. Her comment that she wanted to ogle at Hrithik got her a blistering look in response before he walked off to the ticket counter in a huff.

When he had returned, he had told her that he was a Deepika fan and could not commit treason by watching a Katrina flick! She had to try hard to suppress her laughter as she walked along with him into the cinema hall.

When the movie got unbearably sad, she started weeping. He discretely passed her his hanky and held her hand to comfort her. When the movie ended, he sweetly apologized and said he would rather have committed treason than watch her cry. Neither stressed too much on the fact that it was Hrithik and not Katrina who was the problem!

Then they went shopping for the girls and he was like a kid in a candy store. He wanted to buy the entire store out and she had a her job cut out restraining them.

As they had walked past a international lingerie brand store, she wondered if she could pick up something special. She asked him if he would want to spend sometime at the book store while she picked up some essentials. When he insisted that he would accompany her, she tried telling him he would be bored and that he would be better off at the book store. When he tried convincining her that he wouldn't be bored, she was left with no choice but to point out at the store that she wanted to visit. He looked suitably embarassed and moved away but not before whispering close to her ear that he wouldn't have been bored in the least!

After a heavy dinner and their favourite chocolate chip ice-cream for dessert, they were headed home when the easy camarederie got replaced by an atmosphere thick with tension. Suddenly, the sedan seemed too small and everytime he shifted gears, his hand brushed her knee. And everytime she shifted in her seat, her elbow brushed against his arm. It seemed to Nidhi that they were almost engaged in a strange kind of foreplay.

When they entered the flat, she told him to go on to the room and that she would get them both some warm milk. It was a nightly ritual that Dadi Bua had ensured he was part of too ever since he had married Nidhi.

He went into the room, switched on the AC and changed into his night clothes. He was lying in bed, browsing through a magazine when she joined him ten minutes later.

He took the glass of milk she offered, and put it on the side table before catching hold of her hand and tugging her gently towards him.

"Nidhi, I...!"

Before he could continue, her mobile rang. She looked torn, not wanting to leave his side.

"I think its yours..go and get it. What if its the kids. I'll wait!

She went out and he silently cursed his luck. He started planning of ways in which to take things forward once she returned.

Twenty minutes passed and there was still no sign of her!

He wondered what was still keeping her and went looking.

She was nowhere to be found in the hall or the kitchen. As he walked towards the children's room, he realized that it was shut.

He tried the handle and realized to his shock that it was locked.

She had locked him out for the night?

CHAPTER 15


What would he have thought?

Would he be upset? Of course, he would!

Nidhi set the table even as her mind continued to be plagued by questions.

It was two in the morning when she had woken up in the children's room. After all the crying that she had done, she had been exhausted and had fallen asleep. When she woke up, she realized that she had well and truly destroyed what would have been a beautiful way to end the wonderful day they had, And a wonderful start to their new life together, not just as responsible parents to their children but as a man and a woman who had grown to love each other so deeply that life without the other was now impossible to imagine.

She knew Ashutosh was yet to say the words but did it matter? The intensity of emotion had been evident in every gesture of his. They had both shed their self imposed barriers and had openly expressed their feeling through every touch and every glance that they had exchanged. Words had almost seemed superflous after that. Although, Nidhi was sure that they would have come up with the words either before or after.

Her cheeks grew warm as she thought of what would have gone in between the before and the after! She sighed hard, cursing herself for her sudden melancholy yesterday.

Would he have thought she'd led him on? When she had peeked into their room right after she had woken up, he had been fast asleep. Not having the heart to wake him up, she had gone back to the children's room.

She had woken up early in the morning, prepared all of his favourite dishes for breakfast and now, waited for him to come out.

She looked at her watch. It was past nine. Surely, he should be awake by now.

Just then, the door to the bedroom opened and he came out dressed in formals and with his bag in hand.

"You're going in today? I thought you'd stay home!"

"I have to go!"

"Have some breakfast. I made all your favourite dishes!"

"Sorry but I don't have the time!"

He strode quickly towards the door.

Just as he was about to open it, he turned around and threw at her.

"And Nidhi, I am not sure if I ever thanked you formally for marrying me just so I could keep custody of Riya. I am grateful to you for that. But if at any point, you want to move on, i will be the last one to stop you. I dont want to tie you down to a loveless marriage of convenience. So, feel free to go anytime. I just hope you will allow me access to Ashi if you do. And lastly, don't feel the need to lock the door on me ever. I am not that depraved!"

He exited the house before she could even say a word in response.

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Is that what he had thought?

That she had locked him out?

How could he think that way?

How could he not allow her even an opportunity to explain?

How could he just assume whatever he had?

How dare he throw all those hateful words at her?

If she was deeply upset last night, Nidhi was furious now.

Okay, so she had left the room right when he had taken the first step to initiate intimacy. But she had spent the entire day showing him that she wanted him as much as he wanted her. So why didnt he even think to ask her what happened?

Okay, so she had locked the door on him. But she had never been the one to wear her pain on her sleeve. Why didn't he even think to ask her why she had kept the door locked?

She would have told him. She would have told him that she had received a piece of news that had shaken her right then. She had been told that the man who had fathered her daughter had died in a car accident. The call the previous night had been from Dr Mehra. He was best friends with Dr Rajiv Malhotra, the man who had helped her create Ashi. Dr Mehra had told her that Rajiv had been killed in a car accident in the US where he had moved three years ago. So Ashi's Papa had been in the US.

She did not know why but it was like the dam had broken. She had never cried even when Rajiv had broken her heart. Yesterday she had cried for the past, for Ashi, for herself and for Rajiv too. For whatever his faults, he had not deserved to die in a foreign land, for his body to lie in a morgue for more than three weeks before they even identified him.

The tears had been healing but they had drained her. And so she had fallen asleep.

And he thought this of her?

How dare he?

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"Armaan?"

"Ashu, why are you waking me up at this unearthly hour?"

"Armaan, it is four in the afternoon?"

"Don't you know that Sundays are the only days I get to sleep all day. So anytime is unearthly unless I choose to get up, my friend. Anyway, now that you have woken me up, what do you want?"

"Armaan, I think Nidhi has left me!"

He had his complete attention now,.

"Wh...what?"

"She's left me, Armaan!"

"Ashu, where are you?"

"At the hospital!"

"Just give me fifteen minutes and I'll be there!"

True to his word, he was there.

He was shocked by what he saw. Ashutosh had clearly not slept the previous night! He looked haggard and there were dark shadows under his eyes. Worst of all was the empty look in his eyes.

"Ashu, what happened?"

"She's left me, Armaan!"

"What the hell did you do?"

"I,...I.."

His voice broke.

"Tell me dammit!"

"I wanted to get close to her...!"

"And...?"

"She got a call and she never came back to the room. After sometime, when I went looking for her, she had locked herself in the children's room for the night!"

"And..?"

"So, the next morning I told her she was free to leave!"

"How did you decide she wanted to leave?"

"She locked me out, Armaan?"

"How was she before and after this lock out?"

Ashutosh blinked.

"She...she was ...she was...!"

"Okay..that means she was fine. So how did you decide that she wanted out? There might be some other plausible explanation, right?"

Ashutosh looked defeated.

"What plausible explanation, Armaan? She locked me out after I held her hand ,,,,!"

"Okay.. I dont want to know the details...I get the gist of things...but still...there could be a plausible reason. Did you even bother asking her?"

"No..No, I didnt! Because I...!"

"Because your bloody male ego took a beating. You couldnt take being said no to!"

"Armaan, it is not that. Sex is not the issue here. If it was, I wouldnt have waited for four months!"

"You kept her waiting too. Did you even bother wondering what she must have thought in those four months!"

"But Armaan...Mallika!"

"My sister is dead, Ashu. She has been dead for many months now technically. But she ceased to be a wife to you years ago, Stop going on about Mallika!"

Ashutosh realized that maybe he had been so hung up on thinking of what Nidhi might think of him that maybe he had not thought enough about what she herself wanted. Her actions yesterday had not been those of a woman who wanted nothing to do with him. Not of a woman who wanted to move on from him!

"You think I have been stupid?"

"I know you've been stupid! And how do you know that she has left you?"

"She has not taken my calls in the last many hours. And now her phone is not reachable!"

Armaan pulled out his mobile and tried calling but the phone seemed to be out of reach.

"What did you do, you idiot? I wont forgive you ever if the girl is hurt in anyway!"

"What shalll we do now, Armaan?"

"Where did you leave her last?"

"At home, of course!"

"Then we should start at home. Maybe she has left a letter or something?"

The two men rushed out of the cabin and drove to the apartment.

In the meantime, Ashutosh kept trying her phone like a mad man. But he had no way of reaching her.

He was close to tears by the time they got home.

"Armaan, you know God is punishing me. I did not take Mallika's calls. And now Nidhi is not taking my calls. Will I lose her too?"

"Enough of your retribution theories now, idiot. Let us go looking for that letter!"

They ran up the stairs, not waiting for the lift. As Ashutosh hurriedly turned the key in the lock and pushed the door open, both of them froze in shock.

"Hi Armaanji...good to see you!"

Nidhi steadfastly refused to look at Ashutosh.

He had no such qualms.

He forgot whatever had gone on before, he forgot Armaan's presence, he forgot the open door.

He lunged at her, crushed her to his chest, repeating like a mad man.

"Don't ever leave me, Nidhi..don't ever leave me...please don't leave me!"

As Nidhi looked at Armaan in confusion, he gestured to her to take care of Ashutosh. He quietly closed the door behind him and walked way with a smile.

Nidhi hugged Ashutosh and caressed his back.

"Why would I leave you? how would I survive without you? Whatever gave you that thought?"

He looked down at her face and she was shocked to see that his cheeks were tear stained.

"Because of what I said this morning!"

"You are an idiot. Doesn't mean I am one too!"

"Only idiots dont take calls!"

"And only idiots wait at home for their idiotic husbands, ignoring the fact that their phones have self destructed and need to be taken in for emergency care!"

"Your phone is not working?"

"At least its my phone. Your brain is not working?"

"Why did you lock me out?"

She sobered up and pulled him to sit beside her on the couch.

"Ashutosh, that Dr Mehra?"

"Who, the nephrologist?"

"Yes, he was Rajiv's best friend!"

""Rajiv?"

"My ex!"

"Ashi's...!"

"Ashi's nothing. If he had lived and some day come to see her, I would not have refused him access. I would never have wanted her not to know him. But maybe Ashi is blessed this way. To know only one man as her father, the man who helped her be born, held her first in his arms and who probably got a hold on her mother's heart too right that day!"

He looked at her in wonder.

"Ashutosh, let me finish what i started. It was Dr Mehra who called me last night. He had gotten my number somehow. He informed me that Rajiv died a couple of years ago in the US."

"Oh God!"

"Yes. That was my reaction too. I completely lost my bearings for a bit. I broke down and cried, locking the door so you wouldn't see me. You were so upset when you saw me crying in the movie hall. I did not want you to see me so distraught! Not because I felt or feel anything for Rajiv. They were tears I have been keeping back for more than four years, from the day I realized that he had cheated me!"

Ashutosh took her hand to his lips and kissed it.

"And the fool that I am, I thought you were locking me out. When you just didnt want me to see you break down! Baby, you didnt have too. You could have shared your pain with me and broken down in my arms! You didn't have to keep your pain to yourself!"

"I so wanted to break down in your arms too last night, Ashutosh. Just not that way!"

She looked boldly into his eyes as she said the words. His own darkened in response.

"You did?"

"I do!"

"I am sorry, baby!"

"I am sorry. Look at the state you are in. Eyes all hollow, dark shadows, what have you done to yourself in one night? I dont think you got any sleep"

"I so did not want to sleep too. For altogether other reasons though!

"Go sleep!"

"You're kidding me, right?"

"I love you, Ashutosh, more than my life!"

"I can do better than that!"

"How?"

"Come, let me show you!"

He took her by the hand and led her into their future!

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Friends, Suvika has been kind enough to cover up for my inadequacies. She has written the consummation part. Thank you Suvika and loads of love. So, its over to Suvika now!

EPILOGUE


EPILOGUE


DEDICATED TO DEEPALI, VIDISHAA

SPECIAL CREDIT TO VEENAJI AND ANJANIJI


One and a half years later


"Dadi Bua, Aarav's fingers are so small!"

"Dadi Bua, Ashi Didi to Amrit!"

"Dadi Bua, who does Aarav look like?"

"Dadi Bua, put Amrit on Ashi godhi!"

"Shh girls, no making noise. Let the babies sleep!"

Yes, babies! There were two of them, Aarav and Amrit. Born just three minutes apart! Ashutosh had had to do the honours twice, cutting the umbilical chord and then lifting the precious cargo and laying it on Nidhi's chest! Tears had streamed down his cheeks and the hospital staff were taken aback to see the normally unflappable senior surgeon break down that way! Each of them was glad though, for he was a wonderful man and deserved all the happiness in the world to compensate for all the pain in his past.

The babies had been born less than two weeks ago and had the punyavachanam and naamkaran performed just two days ago. A radiant Nidhi had beamed in delight when Mrs Trehan arrived in style to bless the newborns. The ice queen had begun to thaw. They did not know why or how. But she had turned up unannounced at Nidhi's godhbarai.. Maybe it was because Nidhi had made relentless efforts to get Riya to develop a bond with Her grandmother, beginning with Mrs Trehan's birthday six months after Mallika's passing. She had taken Riya to greet her and had asked her to attend the annual day at Riya's school where she was to be part of a skit. They were not sure she would come but, at the last moment, Armaan had managed to bring her. She still held herself aloof, but Nidhi had seen the regret in her eyes whenever she looked at Riya. Whatever her reasons for all that she had done, the lady did seem to repent for her past actions although she did not say so in so many words. To Armaan's eternal disgust, Nidhi had refused to hold the past against her and treated her with the respect and care owed to a mother. To Armaan's surprise, his mother did not try any further new tricks and actually seemed to be trying to build a relationship with Riya. And she was even being civil to Nidhi and Ashutosh, a mammoth task for her. Maybe the loss had sobered her down!

Or was it maybe a new entrant to the Trehan household. Armaan had finally given up his precious bachelor status. The young lady who had won his heart was Anupama, who had first joined as an intern at his architectural firm. The decade plus difference in age had bothered Armaan initially. But Anupama had not been the one to give up. After a whirlwind courtship, they were now married and Mrs Trehan's hopes for another grandchild were now well alive. A gentle and yet firm natured girl, Anupama seemed to have tamed the grand dame, a task that neither her children nor her husband had been able to achieve. Or maybe it was because she made an effort to understand her mother-in-law's perspective too before gently showing her the error in her ways.

Armaan and Anupama had donned the roles of Mama and Mami to the newborns, just as they had with Ashi. After being a family of three, Ashi found herself having a much larger extended family now. Of course nothing to beat her Daddy, who was the centre of her universe. Ashutosh was the go to guy if Nidhi or anybody else wanted something done with Ashi. The bond that had probably been formed the day she was born had now strengthened to a lifelong relationship cemented by mutual adoration. Nidhi of course remained Riya's friend and confidante, her Nima and Mumma rolled into one, and she looked forward to discussing boys with her maybe three or four years from then. Something she loved teasing Ashutosh about and something that had him shuddering in fear. Left to him, he wanted to keep his daughters locked away till they were thirty!

Dadi Bua of course was ecstatic. Her bacchi had a husband who loved her to distraction, which was all that the old lady's heart had longed for. When she and the girls had returned from Kanpur that Sunday night, her heart had swelled with joy when a dishevelled looking Nidhi had opened the door after almost fifteen minutes of ringing the bell. Ashutosh had emerged from the bedroom looking rather sheepish too. Although she had all the answers she had sought right in front of her, Dadi Bua had to be certain.

"Nidhi, I hope you have been taking good care of Damaad babu. He looks like he has lost weight!"

Even as Nidhi had protested, Ashutosh had draped a casual arm around her shoulder.

"Dadi Bua, meri biwi ko kuch mat boliye aap!"

Ashi had picked up on the word 'biwi'and started parroting it, sending Riya into a fit of giggles.

He had spelt it out for her loud and clear and just in case, she had any doubt, he shamelessly added.

"Ri and Ash, you girls must sleep with Dadi Bua in her room from today. Your Nima and I have an important project to complete!"

"What project, Daddy?"

"Project Baby Brother!"

The girls had screamed in excitement but Nidhi had wished the earth would just open up and swallow her. She had not known that she had married an absolutely shameless man!

Now, as she lay beside him on the bed, nestled against his shoulder, she could not help thanking God for the blessing that her life had become! Who wouldve thought a guardian angel who had come into her life one rainy afternoon would return yet again as her very own Prince Charming and bring to life all the romantic dreams that she had once woven.

"Ashu, did you imagine ever that you would see me again!"

Ashu dropped a gentle kiss on her brow as he replied.

"Yes and no. I knew that a strange lifetime bond had been established when I first held Ashi in my arms. But I never imagined that two angels would re-enter my life, just when it was at its darkest, and bring me back to light again!"

She could not help but turn and drop a kiss on his neck.

"I love you so much, Thank you for making my dreams come true!"

"Love you too, baby. And thanks for teaching me to dream again, at a time when I had lost all hope!"

They gazed into each other's eyes with all the love in their hearts before the spell was broken by some loud crying.

Dadi Bua brought Amrit into the room followed by Riya carefully holding Aarav. Ashi skipped along, with a proprietorial hand on Amrit's head. The girls had clearly marked out their favorites. Nidhi was thankful that there were two, leaving no chance for a tussle of any sort.

"Nidhi, pata nahi yeh donon ab kyon ro rahe hain? Abhi abhi toh doodh pilayi tu ne?"

"Dadi Bua, inki Mumma ne doodh toh pila di. Par shayad donon ko ab Papa ki yaad aagayi!"

Ashutosh carefully took Aarav from Riya and cradled him in the crook of his arms and whistled softly to him. Magically, the baby stopped crying. As if responding to his twin's cue, Amrit also ceased to cry as his mother cuddled him close to her.

Riya and Ashi were on either side of the couple, both cooing to their respective favourites and trying to entertain them.

Dadi Bua smiled at the perfect family picture and sent a prayer upward asking for them to be just as happy always!