FF-Benaam khwaayishein-FINAL CHAPTER-PAGE#78 - Page 12

Originally posted by: saibanu

I am trying to post my story from that time but getting over-limit error
I tried all possible way to get rid of this but its not working ...any idea how to fix it ?

Originally posted by: bawaswift

Hey Sai...

The chapter you are trying to post might be more then the set limit for any post. Kindly limit your post to 180,000 bytes or less.

Many times copy/paste from MS Word document may also result in increasing the size to a great extent due to unwanted character formatting...

Originally posted by: saibanu

Oh ok Thanks Bawa bro...
I will see what I can do and come back with my story shortly 😃

Chapter 3

She watched him carefully, making no sign or gesture...As the face registered and recognition followed. Her lips thinning and a smile appeared on her face...

"Ashuthosh" Her voice croaked slightly on the name and she tilted her head...below her, Arush stood, looking at his mother and then at him... Wrapping his little boy hands around her legs "Mom...Who is he?" he asked.

Ashuthosh smiled and looked up "is he yours?" he asked

Nidhi nodded her head and he who was standing in front of her, knelt down facing her little boy and slowly extending his hand "hello there ..." he said

Suddenly shy, the boy looked up at his mother and then at Ashuthosh "who are you?" He asked

He smiled "I am Ashuthosh ...your Mom's best friend", the boy still not convinced looked at him skeptically and after small pause he said "But Anjie mausi is Mom's best friend"

Ashuthosh laughed at that and later getting up on his feet; ruffling his hair ...He bent his head down "we both are ..." He said stopping to look at Nidhi.

She looked lost as if she is still trying to absorb whole moment and when realization pumped in, she stared at him for a second trying to absorb his presence along with his words

"Nidhi, do you need any help?" he asked, looking at her hand full of bags

She came out of trance, pulled out of it -the reality sinking in and she shook her head "No, I am fine..." She just said

But he still stood there, immobile and rooted to earth "How you came? I will carry your bags till your car..." He asked slowly, reaching across to take her bag...

"I came by rick ..." She pulled away, her lips pursed together...She looked taller to him, maybe it's her sandals he thought

"Do you want me to drop you home?" he asked once again...

"No ..No , that's fine" . Reaching to grab hand of her little son ... Slowly she smiled at him

"It's not safe to go in rick at this time ...I can drop you" he stiffened as she turned back...

Her bag fell over the floor and fruits sprawled over the road " ohho Mom..." he heard her son say and in a flicker of moment , He bent down to collect the fruits and both of them put them back in paper bag...

Pulling the bag in her hands, she smiled at him "Thank you Ashuthosh..." she said.

"Are you sure, you don't want me to drop you" he asked once again ...she stopped, studying him, unable to find words ...

He waited for her to say something-anything and when she did not say anything, he stepped back... Studying her face, her mouth, the curve of her lower lip and wondered why she is so dismal ...?!

He sighed...!

Arush, who was silent till then, looked up at his mother and said "Mom, I think ...We should take help from your friend"

Her expression changed and she looked down at her son "Arush..." She said, her voice mixed with bit of anger and sole warning

Arush looked down "You only said other day ... sometime it's ok to take help from friends" he said, tears welled up in his eyes and involuntary Ashuthosh reached out to take his hand ...

"Ashuthosh, It's no big deal ...I can go ..."

"I know, you can go ...but today let me drop you" he said...She hesitated for a second , She know he saw her hesitation and that he know she does not want to come along but still, he waited for her ...

"Arush , lest go..." She said and looked at Ashuthosh...

Grabbing one of her shopping bag, he wondered briefly, why he is being so persistent with her today... He let the thought linger in his head for a second and then his attention diverted as a small hand tugged at his fingers

"Which is your car?" Arush asked

He smiled, taking little hand in his firm grip "Over there..." he pointed out his Toyota Fortuner...

"Ohh...!" Arush sounded excited "I love big cars ..." He said hopping with excitement

"Is it, what else our Arush likes ..." Ashuthosh asked

When the boy smiled, Ashuthosh noticed..The boy resembles so much like Nidhi...

"I love bikes ..." he paused "When I grow up, I will buy loads of Bikes..." Arush said enthusiastically.

Ashuthosh stopped and turned back to look at Nidhi ...Their eyes met and in the seconds that followed...Ashuthosh said something which gave Nidhi a belief that, he has not forgotten anything ...Nothing at all!

"He too like bikes ..." Ashuthosh said...his brows shot up in wonder, His lips curled into a smile and strange mixture of happiness on his face...

The tension which kept them apart diffused and a memory overlapped with his thoughts ...

And Nidhi smiled remembering the memory which once they lived...

They walked in silence, at arms distance ...She walked with her books pressed to her chest and Ashu walked next to her with his hands dug in his pockets ...he told her his problem with Visa and his plan to go back to London once he get it back ...

She asked if he came here for short time...He smiled and replied "yes" and told her his plans to join one of the prestigious medical institutions somewhere in England and settle down there itself...

Once they reached open Library which is situated inside university campus ...Ashu asked if he can borrow one book ...She nodded her head and walked towards section of books ...strolling through the stacks of books, running his fingers over the spines of books, he chose a book and gave it to Nidhi to write it down in record books ...

"Which book is that?' She asked when they came outside ...

"Light house by Virginia Woolf..." He replied

Taking the book from his hand, she checked the cover page and last page she read about the author ...

"She is good looking..." she remarked

" She was ..." Ashu corrected her

"Died ?"

He nodded his head; the walk was dark, in shadow sheltered from glare of evening sun ...still rough! She thought

She made her way out, walking next to him, through wide college campus towards entrance. "How she died?" she asked abruptly, absurd yet a thought which kept on rotating in her mind ...Like a worm eating trees!

He looked at her "filling her pockets with stones, she drowned in lake" he said

She stopped for a minute taking in the information and walked again keeping her pace steady , in the background she could hear boys playing football , throw ball whatever it is ...she dint care "she killed herself...? She asked

He nodded his head "matter fact, yes ...She killed herself when she was writing manuscript of her last novel"

"What for?" She asked

She saw him shrug his shoulder, a movement to indicate that he doesn't fancy continuing this talk but she wanted to know...She cannot stay with questions anymore " why so...?" she asked once again to make sure he heard her

"She was manic depressive" he said

"Oh..." She said...chewing her finger nails "you mean a psycho...?" she asked...Her face curiously attentive to hear his words

He did not like the word so he stayed silent, but persistent...She asked once again "was she?"

Rising the book to show her "she was not, if she was ...she could not have written something like this ...she was a genius" he said

"But you, yourself said ...That she was mad"

"Yes but she was not mad ...Not completely"

"So she was half mad..." she asked innocently

Exasperated, Ashu looked at her "I don't think there is something called half mad Nidhi..." He said

She stepped back and let her gaze wash over distant horizon "Then why?!" she asked

Ashuthosh looked at her ...her expression was usual flat and devoid of emotions, but when she spoke , her voice betrayed something which he had not heard before ...looking down at his hands and wondered why can't she get over this topic

He struggled to find, words to tell her that sometime in this word no reason is needed to die or kill someone and even if it is there ...it's hard to describe!

Taking a breath...large suck of breath and exhaling "There is something we bring along with our soul ...you know what I mean" he asked

She shook her head and said "No"

"a mystery within our self which we are born with, for some people it is good but some people it is bad...I think it was sadness , she bought along with her soul...I Think , she was born with it ...I think that's what killed her..." he said.

"You mean the sadness?" She asked just to get it straight

"May be ..." He said and he could see her lips moving slightly as if she is mumbling, absorbing this piece of information inside...And when he started to walk she followed him blindly...

"Do you want to go somewhere else" he asked later when they came out and noticed he is talking to himself, Nidhi Stood watching something

Walking up to her "what's up?" he asked

"Look at all those bikes..." she said

Directly opposite them, nearly 4-5 bikes parked and across the road Ashuthosh can see owner of those bikes circled around the corner, sipping coke from can...

Before he know what is happening , She walked towards parking lot , running her hands over handle , side mirror , leather backseat "I like bikes , Even I will buy one day..." She said ...

He huffed out a laugh, she turned back...her eyes glistening with an emotion "Anger" he recognized "it's just that, you are the first girl who ever said that ...you like bikes, god! This is guys stuff-leave it alone, you can't handle this" he said ignoring her heavy look

"Is it written somewhere that its guy stuff..." She stepped closer "Stop discriminating ...Will you?" she said when he stepped back...

Looking up, he noticed those guys staring at them "Ok fine ...you can buy when you are ready but now it's time to go ...Let's go" he said.

" No..." she said

" I Don't think , its good idea to touch these bikes without their owner permission..." he said and he saw those bunch of college kids get up from their seats and start walking towards them..

" Nidhi..." he hissed

"I am not coming ..." she said

"They are coming, they might be thinking we are thief trying to steal their bikes...now let's go from here" He said urgently

" I don't care..." she said, dead pan... , shrugging her shoulder , she knelt down on road and for a moment He wondered what she will do now ...taking something from her pocket , she leaned forward and scratched over paintwork...her name!

"What are you doing ...?" reaching across he tried to stop, she turned around and looked dead in his eye "Now this is my stuff..." She said, each word enunciating clearly until it reached him...

"You are crazy...they are going to kill you for this, kill both of us" he said furiously, her eyes dead serious like she is not at all worried about the outcome of this act or maybe she was but he couldn't figure out what precisely ran in her head and for a second leaving everything , She stood up ...wary and hesitant and watched the crowd coming towards them ...and in next second "That's it, I am off" She said, and hopping from the side way, she ran towards streets...

He remained motionless for a second, too shocked to move ...Nidhi, gone long back and he saw them coming towards him...there face disturbed, angry and he wondered "what on earth" he is going to explain to them...

And in that terrible state, he believed that he can't explain anything to thugs like college kids "No way..." he understood! ...None too soon sense took hold, sprinting past, hopping over the sideway...he ran, following the path of Nidhi

"God this is girl is going to be death of me...!" he said to no one in particular as he collapsed on stones bench after running endlessly all over Lucknow...

"Can I sit in front?" reality knocked on his door, the memories pushed away, shattered and he is back to unpleasant reality...!

Looking down, he Smiled at the child "Of course, you can..." he said taking his little hand...Opening the door to his car, he stepped back...so that they can climb inside...

The night is frosty and breezy, the sky dark and cloudy and wind of cold air washed through him ...he watched her, Folding hands over her chest, he could feel her trembling ...!

"Are you fine..." he asked

"Yes ..." she said not looking up, closing the door ...He came to his side, Putting the key in, he started the engine "So, who is going to show me the route?" he asked eyeing Arush..

His little face broke into huge smile "Me...Me... ...I will show you" he said excitedly, hopping in his seat.

Turning to face Nidhi, he saw her looking outside, still shivering "Close the window, its cold out there" he said

Startled, she looked back and for a moment her look reminded him of the night when he touched her ...His fingers skimming over jaw line, trailing down ...caressing delicate shape of her breasts . That touch had left them breathless!

Abruptly, she shut the window and his Memories blown away in cold night sky...

They rode and it is after few seconds of suffocating silence...Arush spoke "We have sent our car for a bath" he said

"For a bath?" Ashu asked, his brows shot up and he looked at Nidhi questioningly

He saw her smiling "he means to say servicing..." She said ruffling his head, pulling her son close ...She kissed on top of his head.

For a moment Ashuthosh tried to imagine the Nidhi he knew ...The unruly , reckless girl who herself was like kid back then but now as he looked at her ...She looked so grown up, so responsible , a perfect mother! He thought...

"So which class you are in Arush...?" he asked starting a conversation

Raising his palm up, he fingered to show the number "class 2, section "A" ..." he mouthed his words

Ashuthosh laughed "Section A...eh?" he asked, Arush nodded his head with a faint smile

"Do you like your school...?"Ashuthosh asked ...

The boy shook his head "not really..." he paused for a second and glancing at his side "I don't have many friends"

" why not?"

" its new school "

"Well then everything takes time ...you will make some good friends in sometime" he said and Arush nodded, Dangling his feet below the seat "So what do you do?" Arush asked later ...Like a grown up starting a conversation.

Ashuthosh laughed hearing the tone of his voice "I am a doctor ..." he said and looked at Nidhi , who sat still , quietly listening to ongoing conversation of her son and the man once she loved...How Absurd, she thought but she did not voiced it out, there are some of the things ..She don't say it aloud, some truths just like her failed marriage with Rohan...She wish, Ashuthosh stay unaware of this ...

Her psycho babbling ended just when Arush asked "Doctor...?? ...Have you seen dead body then ..?"

"Arush ...Doctors don't treat dead people" its Nidhi who tried to correct him ...Arush shook his head "No Mom ...I know, Raghav only said...His brother told him"

"I think his brother is still studying ..."

"So can they treat dead bodies when they are studying?" he asked her innocently

"No ..."

"But you just said ..."

She felt exasperated, understanding her inability to explain, Ashu pitched in "When you study to become a doctor, you get to see dead bodies"

"So have you seen?" Arush asked turning his attention towards him...

"Many ..."

"How many ...?"

"I don't know ...but I have seen many"

His little mouth opening in bit of shock with perfect little O "Wow ..." he said "then I will never become a doctor"

"Why so?"

"Because, I am scared of dead bodies ...!"

Ashu smiled "then what you want to become ..."

Arush looked outside adjusting himself close to his mother...he leaned back "I think, I want to be a truck driver..." he said dead pan like he really mean those words

Ashu smiled looking at the little darling

"A truck driver...?" he asked

"Yes, I want to buy a big truck and drive all day ...you know Vroom Vroom" he said

"That sounds grand ..." Ashu smiled

Arush grinned "I know it's cool" he said and looking up at his mother "Mom, will you come with me? We can drive whole day ..."

"Well, that's sounds like a plan..." Nidhi giggled and Ashu joined in "what about me? Am I allowed?" he asked

"Do you want to come inside?" Nidhi asked when they got down...Arush hopped down and waited for his mother

"No, that's fine ...I am sure, Rohan must be waiting for you both" he said in undertone , it pinched him and he felt , he is not ready to face the Man, to see the place which he thought was his...Bowing his head down, he tried to step back "Papa does not stay with us ..." Arush said...

His head snapped up , the word rotated around his mind, it spun around, twisting and turning...until it gave altogether different meaning...Turning his gaze he looked at Nidhi sharply, her eyes gave away nothing ...Composed she looked" Rohan has to travel a lot ...he does not stay here much" She lied .

There was something in her voice, something in her state gave him belief that she is lying, suggesting everything but explaining nothing...but in the end unsure of how to put it into words or more accurately fearing that it will be probing in to her personal life.

He let the moment pass and in the silence that followed, Arush tugged at her finger "Mom, give me the key ...I will open the door"

He watched her struggling with shopping bags to hold it right and to find the keys, reaching across he took the bags in his hand...

"I will carry this inside ..." he said and later following her path which leads to her house, he heard the turn of key and door getting opened.

A dog leaped at them, Arush squealed as it licked him throughout, "Mom, can I give him food now" Arush asked

"Yes you can but before that, go and change ..." She pushed him across the hall and turning back to look at Ashu, who still stood in doorway with her shopping bags "where can I keep these?" he asked

"I am so sorry Ashuthosh..." She said apologetically, taking the bags "Come inside" She said.

Suddenly he felt uncertain, hesitated to go inside; it's like crawling back to those parts of his life which he thought is over "No I think I should go now, it's getting late" He said, stammering over each words but she stopped him Putting a hand out, touching his wrist, the touch was so electric that he flinched "you came till here; of course you can come inside for sometime" she said taking her hand back.

He nodded unsteadily ...

She moved aside so that he can enter, coming inside he noticed that it's small house but neatly maintained, too contrast to her bedroom back then...

"I will get Tea ...Hope you still like tea" She asked uncertainly

He smiled at her "yes of course ...nothing has changed I am still the same" he said and immediately wished he has not uttered those words.

She did not say anything instead she walked towards kitchen to put the kettle on, walking across small living room...he saw a small table filled with news paper facing small black leather couches. A book case edging the wall and drawing sticked on top ...of beach house and coconut trees in background!

There were flowers on table and behind that small dining area with only 2 chairs, an open kitchen where she stood preparing their tea, shifting his gaze from her and over the walls, where there were pictures of her and Arush ...Of his babyhood, of her carrying Arush when he must be barely month old but No picture of Rohan to indicate his presence in their life ...he felt it strange and the thought unsettled him.

Just as he turned around to sit he caught sight of one of her picture, its single portrait of Nidhi taken during her teen years ...he remembered that picture and the moment that was taken...He has taken that picture when he had purchased digital camera from his stay fund money.

He had told her back then "I want to capture something beautiful in this ..." and he had taken her picture, she-in one of those joker pants which she used wear and with a loose top and his sweat shirt on top...her hair spilled over eyes slightly and from behind bulge of sun rising over the horizon and she is looking at the camera, smiling..!

The memory was wider and deeper than him, he was bubbling breath and nothing but sensation left behind , his hands outstretched , tracing over the picture he closed his eyes, his mind bombarded with scattered out thoughts and memories, everything was ruin and everything was wrong and his heart escaping in drips and when he spun around, staggering and misty eyed , he saw her coming towards him with tea mugs ...he gulped down, sitting down across her...he saw clouds had built up outside , he could see them outside kitchen window

"It's pretty strange that it's raining till now..." She said pushing tray of Masala cashews, he took some stuffing into his mouth to stop himself from saying "yes it's even pretty strange to come to face to face with my past, after all these year"

But Without saying anything, he turned away from her and he heard shuffling of feet and Arush came rushing towards him "Do you like Megatron...?" he asked showing his transformer toy...

He forced a smile, pulling little one over his lap "No, do you want to tell me about him?" he asked forcing those words through his gulping sobs, his face swilled away from her ...

But she watched him, the patches of growing stubble and the shadow of his collar that cast across his throat ...His skin stretched, his wrinkled forehead and his eyes dimmed out, her eyes searching for his ... but he did not look at her...

She looked at him concerned! "Arush, why don't you check on Onion?" She asked "he must be hungry" Getting down from his lap, Arush sprinted past them ...

"Are you fine?" She asked slowly and Startled he shrugged his shoulder ...turning his gaze to wash over her, he opened his mouth to ask her "if she ever get haunted by memories, does it really bother her like it do to him?" but he dint said those words , he gulped down, his heart aching ...squeezed in his chest!

"I read about you in one magazine, your work with special children's" he said instead, the statement was abrupt, sounded out of place and he felt his heart asking him to say something but his mind is forcing him to say something else...

She frowned and as understanding dawned, a smile crawled on her face "ohh that one" she said "founder of our school was once journalist and he owns a newspaper office of his own now... so it's no big deal" She said later taking tea mug in her hand, she sipped some...

"It's said that you helped those children's, its big deal..." He said quietly, his gaze passing over the picture over again and again...he found it hard to look away...

She just shrugged her shoulder and when she did not say anything more he asked "tell me about it?"

"About whom?"

"About those children's...about your school? Anything you wish...I want to hear" he said out of desperation

Sitting across from him, Nidhi, her anxious eyes peered at him and stuck by a strange sensation and for a brief moment it reminded her of their time together when Ashuthosh used to say same words "tell me about it Nidhi ..."

She sighed filled with those memories which she doesn't know what to do!

Outside its started raining and they can hear slow dribble of rain getting heavier with each passing second "Some people call it Garbage class ..." She said quietly under sudden clap of thunder.

"That's rude..." He remarked

"I know ..." She said not saying anything more; instead she looked at her son who by now settled infront of TV watching his favorite Show oggy and the cockroaches

"How can they call them garbage when they are so special ..." He remarked

" I know ..."

"But was it difficult ..."

"What?"

"Taking care of those children's ..."

"Not much when I was specially trained on that..."

"You are trained on that ...?" He asked

She smiled "yes, I did special course when Arush was 2 ...you know I always wanted to go for teaching!'

"It must have been difficult to handle when there was little one to look after"

She shook her head "not much ...my mother in law, she took care of Arush when I was away ...it helped"

"What about Rohan?"

"Rohan?

"Yes, did he support...?" he asked

The question rattled her, it was moment before she could respond "I don't know..." she had to say admitting that Rohan never cared for such things ...

"He is always busy ..." She said instead

"Oh..." he said and leaning forward he took tea mug and noticed it's still steaming hot ...

"What do you do here?"

"I teach "

"For special children's?"

"No...its normal school"

"But why?"

"Why ?" she asked confused " I did not get you ?"

"Why you are teaching in normal school when you have such good experience to handle other kinds"

" I am looking for it , as soon as I get it , I switch back to special school's"

"You should not had left and moved here "he said slowly, probing, gauging her expression

She flinched and to hide her dread, she took a sip of her tea "I wanted to move here and try something else"

Even for ear, the answer sounded so lame and unexplained and top it all Ashuthosh asked "like what?"

"The same" She stammered "But I heard opportunities are wide in Mumbai comparative to Delhi..." She said

"That's not true ..." He remarked

"But that's what I heard ..."

They stayed in silence "Don't he miss his papa...?" He asked diverting the topic

"Not much..." she said honestly

"Not much...?"

"He is my boy and beside Rohan is always travelling and its very little time they get to spend together ..."

He nodded his head and finishing his tea ...he got up from seat, looking out he observed rain has subsided a bit

"I think it's time I go..." He said

She stood up, flustered, wishing that he stay a little longer but she struggled to find right words to ask...

Instead she turned back and called her son who came rushing towards them, "thank you for the ride" he said when Ashu bent down to peck on his cheeks

He gathered his over coat, his car keys, his mobile... she opened the door and followed him alone outside until they came near his parked car...

She stood across him, allowing him to open the door "When I read about you, I wished to write to you..." Breaking the silence, He said at last,

She looked at him; her eyes darting from his eyes to his mouth to the top of his hair, as if examining him for the first time. Back to his eyes, she seemed to be trying to read him.

"I wanted to tell you how proud I felt when I read about you ..." He said smiling

She smiled, a faint smile reflecting her hidden pain "it's part of promise I did to you ...you remember" she said looking into his eyes

He flinched, looked away ...The memory of the night and aching pain filled every inch of his being and a longing, a regret so wide and deep that he wanted to bend over, it filled him, stuffing him with suffocating breath...!

And that moment, he wondered briefly ...has he done right thing by leaving Nidhi all those years ago?

Has he...he wondered?

Thank you for reading ...😃

Please hit LIKE and do comment 😳

Tuesday , I will give next chapter 😃

Originally posted by: Tasha1994

waiting

Originally posted by: Vidishaa

Loving Ashu's conversation with Arush

Originally posted by: saibanu

Wait till you read next chapter 😉😆😆

Originally posted by: Vidishaa

I am seriously loving the kid...Ashu will be a great Dad to him