OS: Online! Note on pg 35, 36

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Anjani9

@Anjani9

Sparkler

Posted: 11 years ago

#91

Sagi, You killed Shantamma????? 😲

Edited by Anjani9 - 11 years ago

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Aardhan

@aardhan

Sparkler

+ 4

Posted: 11 years ago

#92

Prologue

Very gripping start Sagi, instantly draws you in. Anji's well-founded anxiety, Nidhi's description as she was found, all came out very well. At the same time there is some background information like the absence of family for Nidhi. So is she an orphan?

Now on to the next...

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Anjani9

@Anjani9

Sparkler

Posted: 11 years ago

#93

Originally posted by: s_danger

You mistake me, Ma'm. Ashutosh ki jaan mere pass hai. Now should he live or be slaughtered, depends on how soon you give the review.

To soch lijiye...aapke paas waqt nahi hain!

Blackmail on public forum...na na na...Sagi...😛

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Aardhan

@aardhan

Sparkler

+ 4

Posted: 11 years ago

#94

Chapter 1

Awesome! Has all the makings of a thriller!

What a horrific experience Nandini went through. So is the scar face in the first gist Jagan? What a pervert? But I have heard such incidents of self-obsessed men who cannot take no for an answer! And liked the way you narrated Nidhi's family history in a quick, no-nonsense manner.

Well, glad Nandini escaped that time... but her death? Did Jagan send those colors? Nidhi seems like a typical spoilt teenager. So, how she came to be alone at home at the time of her attack is now getting clearer... seems like Shantamma was off to the bank and the other maid had left after her work was done. Is that correct? But now what, before Nidhi was in trouble, seems liked Shantamma herself is in trouble here... is she about to confront Jagan once more, after all these years? 😲 🤔

And where does Ashutosh now fit in, its clear he is the new online friend. And most probably that scared young man facing the scar face in the beginning. But what else...

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Aardhan

@aardhan

Sparkler

+ 4

Posted: 11 years ago

#95

Chapter 2

Hai Ram!! This chapter is information ka bhandaar! 😲 How many things can my pea-sized brain process!! 😉

Ok... so, as expected you have clearly explained how Nidhi came to be alone at home... but cold, soggy cornflakes, yuK!

So, the last now... Shantamma had an accident, her only contact is already on her way to the hospital!! And who did it... Jagan or another of his cronies? 😕 But most important questions, is she dead now? 😕 And who noted down that number, is he he person who hit Shantamma? And what happened to the money she had?

So, seems like Jagan has done a lot of planning. Looks like he has stalked and found a person like Ashutosh who is brilliant but poor. I am guessing that person who comes to the restaurant is Jagan? 🤔 And it also seems like he has an insurance in the form of Chameli... is she his implant in the village? College student indeed! 😆 In case Ashutosh defaults, he can threaten him using Chameli...

And why does Anji say Nidhi has no one when there is Shantamma? 😕 Now, have I missed something... 😳 Great going, keeping the mystery intact, but still revealing in bits so that one can start to connect the dots. 👏

Edited by aardhan - 11 years ago

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Sagi97

@Sagi97

Rocker

+ 4

Posted: 11 years ago

#96

Originally posted by: suku_07

Oh I know you wont kill him but I am pretty sure he is going to be in big trouble..

BEEEG TROUBLE.

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Sagi97

@Sagi97

Rocker

+ 4

Posted: 11 years ago

#97

Originally posted by: suku_07
Hmm I agree on legal advisor thing but as you said that that particular code is really very important and he is the one who knows it that's why I doubt him otherwise everything is ok...Thank God you felt reassured about the legal advisor.

Yeah Ashu is a student here and that makes a big difference...about that chameli point well I was not talking about Chameli here I was talking about Ashu's mother... her struggle but that doesn't have anything to do with your OS so ignore it..

Will be waiting for next update.m

I haven't yet started writing the next update, so...

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Sagi97

@Sagi97

Rocker

+ 4

Posted: 11 years ago

#98

Originally posted by: suku_07

BTW why aunty is in capital letters [8/]

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Sagi97

@Sagi97

Rocker

+ 4

Posted: 11 years ago

#99

Originally posted by: Anjani9
Sagi, You killed Shantamma????? 😲

Yes, I killed her.

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Sagi97

@Sagi97

Rocker

+ 4

Posted: 11 years ago

#100

Originally posted by: aardhan
Prologue

Very gripping start Sagi, instantly draws you in. Anji's well-founded anxiety, Nidhi's description as she was found, all came out very well. At the same time there is some background information like the absence of family for Nidhi. So is she an orphan?

Now on to the next...

Hope the first chapter satisfies your queries?

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OS: Online! Note on pg 35, 36 - Page 10

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