Good going.. as i had expected.. I hadnt been too judgemental abt Ashu.. and he acted according to his character. Personally i feel u have diluted his highly harsh and rude character intially to a considerable degree as each chapter progressed, may b bcoz u wanted us to c the "other" side of this magnificent Tiger!.. subtle things like opting for ritual mrg, mentally acknowledging Nidhi's presence in his life, betrayal of hand while putting sindoor, bending down to take Kaka's blessing as a husband, considerate waiting to ease off her pain coz it was her first time, frustration at not findng his wife for him in the morning revealed an emotional and sentimental character behind his facade of ruthless lion! Obviously he wants his lioness to himself! It will b intrsting to
read abt how he actually feels for Nidhi.. u have kept tht thing lingering for readers to guess... and hence making a point to glue thm to ur lingering luv story...👏 the apparent physical attraction has kept the passion thing going. As i said i was eager to read how Ashu makes passionless love to Nidhi. Thr was a spark and yet with one sentence he reduces it all to ashes! bitter bt it vented out his pain in a way! Nice thinking, very nicely written scenes betn Ashu-Nidhi!👏👏👏
As for Nidhi, one cud feel the silent pain of any woman at one's husband's such treatment. Have read this situation earlier too in other FF bt u brot it out differently and in very right context! "not kissing the lips" "not having an affectinate foreplay""no fondling""no romantic words!" all revealed his deliberate intentions! and yet thr first time was hot! and as any girl wud feel Nidhi felt those emotions and the darkness helped her a lot! I had once written in my JKBH FF tht "Darkness reveals those innermost feelings of us wat v r afraid to face in broad daylight even to ourselves" u protrayed tht feeling with finesse! Deep down tht darkness has exposed tht vulnerable part of thm to the other's subconcious mind and u will only later bring it upfront in open for thm to face.. again nice thot behind the progression of this luv story! I m extremely loving the intricacies of this strange strong r'ship woven by u beautifully!
okay, so he has taken the war out in open bt its Nidhi's dignity tht is gonna save his grace! and he is gonna realize it soon enuf, bt i m guessing tht it is going to b too late and the Tsunami is gonna strike and wash him away!
Nidhi's character is again etched beatufilly, the only thing i felt missing in her character is the deep force /tht palpable pain which compels her to wear tht facade of indifference everytime he is around her. It takes grt inner strength and character to do tht and needs an equally strong reason for her to wear tht mask! And the sudden 180 degree turn of her character(her complete withdrawl) i felt was a bit unconvincing! My heart keeps looking for something tht cud've instigated it after tht incident to have tht kind of impact on one's life. I wud b very happy if my impression of Nidhi abt this proves wrong!😳 Tho her adolscent luv blossoming and maturing and the reason as to y she still yearns for Ashu was protrayed brilliantly which led to our feeling the pain tht she felt wen Ashu insulted her!
Luved Abhi's character immensely. He definitely is going to turn out to b the most supporting character for Nidhi! The way my brain is unintentionally predicting ur story, readers r in for a beautiful love story blended with a splendid mystery!
Armaan has moved on in a superfical sense, bt deep down he is still thr wer Ashu is! unless thy confront each other neither will b able to move forward. so thr r two story going on with Ashu-Armaan and Ashu-Nidhi here.. and u have handled both brilliantly. And yes, its unfair to Mallu, bt expected this kind of r'ship considering Armaan's past. Unless he takes of tht heavy burden from his shoulders, he wudnt b able to give mallu his 100%. wonder how mallu is going to make him open up!
Luved the pace of ur story.. considering its jst 16 chapter story.. u've put grt efforts in conveying wat u needed to convey abt characters, story, and thr equation with each other! A grt imaginative brain churns out yet another brilliant story!👏
Thnk u Sujatha.. per me.. this doesnt stereotype Ashu-Nidhi in these characters. thy cud've been any character with any random name inspite of the age difference luv story and yet boast of thr strong characteristic traits! So u have overcome the possible limitation of getting trapped into characters of stereotype Ashu-Nidhi!😳 U can easily take these story beyond the characters of Ashu-Nidhi and general public who r not into Ashu-Nidhi wud still b able to relate to ur chractrs strongly!😳
btw i m all set to read ur nxt story Teri Ore. So do tell me how i fared in decoding ur mind as a writer!😆 (PM hi kar dena.. i m in a learning phase...and its my honor to study such brilliant promising budding writer!😳)
with this i end here my friend,
C u..😳
Manisha❤️
Edited by achiever - 12 years ago
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