Hi everyone.
Here's my new chapter. Hope you all will like it.
This one is specially for those of us, who were left with a feeling of incompleteness at Thursday's trip down memory lane, and wished that it could have been a bit more...
Anyway, enjoy!
CHAPTER 4
Ashutosh felt happy and relieved that the family had been so receptive to his apology, and had forgiven him. He was also glad that they were on his side now, and were willing to help him patch things up with Nidhi, so that he could bring her back home with him where she belonged. Of course, all this was easier said than done. Hi family, (which also included Nidhi's family now), had forgiven so easly him because they loved him, and because they could see that he was truly regretting his mistakes, and wanted to make everything better. Although, the person that he really needed to apologize to, the one he really had to answer to was Nidhi, she was the one he had wronged badly, she also, was the one whom he had hurt the most. Of course by hurting Nidhi, he had indirectly hurt the family too. And that was why he had apologized to them today, and asked for their forgiveness. But the hard part of course was trying get Nidhi to forgive him, and that had not even begun yet.
He was startled out of his thoughts when CV spoke up,
- Ashutosh, I think that Bhua and I should be going back now, it's almost time for Nidhi to be home. But, Rohan and Anji can stay here and discuss plans with you, and all you have to do is just tell us what you need for us to do.
-Col. I think that I will come with you. I want to see Nidhi, it's been a while since I've talked to my granddaughter, or spent any time with her.
-Dr. Ashutosh, I am afraid that I will need to get going also, I have to get back to hospital. Col. Uncle why don't I drop the three of you off at home on my way, that way Anji and Rohan will have a car available, when they are done.
It was very quiet, after the elders and Rangnath left. Ashutosh looked at Rohan and Anji, they seemed uncomfortable. He had noticed this throughout the morning. Both of them had been very quiet and had not smiled, or even said a word to him other than a hello, since they had arrived. He could tell that something was bothering them, making them uncomfortable. He waited a few minutes to see if they would break the silence, when neither one of them did,
-Anji, Rohan whats wrong? I've been getting strange vibes from the both of you all morning. So, one of you please tell me what's going on!
Rohan was about to speak up, when Anji put her hand on his arm and shook her head,
-But Anji ...
-Rohan no...just...leave it alone...please! For Nidhi's sake?
Rohan gave her an annoyed and resigned look, and after a few seconds, reluctantly nodded. Anji smiled her appreciation. Ashu, silently observed the whole tableau, and was puzzled.
-Anji, what is it? What are you stopping Rohan from telling me?
When Anji kept quiet, Ashutosh turned towards Rohan, with a perplexed troubled look,
-Rohan at least you tell me what's going on. Why are the two of you behaving like this, as if I am some sort of outsider. Both of you seem to be angry at me...Why? What have I done ?
Both Anji and Rohan looked at each other, and then Anji shrugged and nodded, and then turned to look at him. Her expression seemed to say, "Ok, you asked for this". Then she turned to Rohan and nodded once again.
-What's with the both of you, and all this gesturing. Can't one of you tell me, straight out what the problem is! . It seems that you have something on your mind. So, please what ever it is, tell me so that we can get it over with!
At these words, Rohan's head whipped around in anger,
-Dr. Ashutosh, for us there is nothing more important than Nidhi. But you apparently have other priorities that take precedence.
-How dare you say that to me Rohan? Both of you know very well that nothing is more important to me than Nidhi. She's my whole world.
She is the reason that I took the initiative and went to the trouble to apologize to everyone, and ask for help.
-That's What I am trying to point out. You are saying that you went to the TROUBLE. Trouble, Dr. Ashutosh, What trouble have you gone to? The way I see it is that Nidhi is the one who has had to go through all the trouble. Even now you are doing this, not for her but for yourself. You want her to come back, You want her to forgive you, and, You want our help! All I have heard this morning is, I WANT THIS & I WANT THAT. Have you given any thought to what Nidhi might want? I am not saying that you aren't regretting whatever happened. I am sure you are. But don't you see, again it comes down to your regret, and what you are suffering due to that regret. Even today, you apologized to everyone because it makes your life easier to not have the family mad at you, and to have everyone be on your side. The elders forgave you, Dr. Ashutosh, because they care for you, but more importantly because they care for Nidhi. They want to see her happy again, and they know that her happiness lies with you. I was under this impression too, at one time. But not any more.
Sir, going by everything that has happened since the both of you have been married, I have to wonder how long her happiness will last this time. And it seems to me that, in the short amount of time that you guys have been married, she has spent more days being stressed, sad, and depressed than she has been happy.
-Rohan, how can you even presume to judge our married life, you haven't even been here.
Before, Rohan could say anything Anji spoke up
-Jeejaji, I've been here the whole time, and I am the one who told about Rohan everything.
-Dr. Ashutosh, being Nidhi's friend has given me the right to speak on her behalf. When I left here after your wedding, I left secure in the belief that my best friend was happy, because she was with the person whom she loved, and who loved her more than anything else in the world. I thought that you would do everything in your power to make sure she was happy, and felt cherished and cared for. I left because I thought that she didn't need me to protect her any more, because now she had you. But apparently I was wrong, and had I known that, I would never have left.
The whole purpose of making you Jealous, was to try and show you how it felt to be in Nidhi's place. And I know that to extent you have realized, but, I am sorry to say Dr. Ashutosh, that after listening to what you had to say this morning in front of everyone, you have not realized everything. That way I see it is, even now, it is all about you.
-How can you say that I have not realized, Rohan. I have. I know now, that her feelings of jealousy were justified. And I know that I have caused her a lot of pain, and I want to try and make it up to her for that.
-I would have had no doubts about your feelings on that score, Sir, if all you would have done this morning was apologize to all of us, and said that YOU were going to try and get her forgiveness, and would try to do everything you could to get her to come back, because you love her and think that she has suffered enough, but you didn't do that. My point of view is, that if someone makes a mistake, it's that persons responsibility to make amends. They should not be asking other people to help them. You did not ask anyone of us what to do, when your actions were hurting her, and forced her to leave home. You did that all by yourself. And you certainly did not ask for advice or help, when after repeated requests from Nidhi to sever your ties with Dr. Mallika, you did not.
And now, after so much damage has been done, you are asking us what to do and to help you do it! Why?
Also, I have another question, perhaps the most the important one. What guarantee is there that you will not hurt her like this again? Because, I know that Dr. Mallika is still at KGH. I am also given to understand that you have appointed yourself as a caretaker for her and her child, against Nidhi's wishes.
Dr. Ashutosh, how can I trust your word, when the bone of contention between you and Nidhi is still very much present in your life. And from all accounts, past and present, the evidence clearly shows that you have always put your friendship and the needs of Dr. Mallika above that of your wife. Knowing how much it bothered and hurt her, you still went ahead and did what you thought was right. And I can't even begin to understand how you could forgive her, knowing that she had made an attempt on Nidhi's life. Have you ever even thought what you would have done if she had succeeded with her plan? Would you still have forgiven her? And because she didn't succeed, its OK to forgive and forget. Why, just because she is pregnant?
Anyway, what has changed now? What is so different this time, that you wont do those same things again, and force Nidhi to leave. Dr. Mallika is still pregnant, and Nidhi still has issues with your involvement with her. So, what will you do now, Sir? What happens if Dr. Mallika needs you again? Will you go running to help her? Will Nidhi and her desires be disregarded and brushed off again, as being the products of an immature, childish and jealous wife's imagination? I fail to understand how you can have so much sympathy for your so called friend, and none at all for your wife.
Dr. Ashutosh, I am really sorry for talking to you this way. I used to have a lot of respect for you Sir. And I was in awe of your feelings for Nidhi. But now, I am sorry to say, I don't think that you deserve her. I think that maybe it would have been better, if she had not married you.
Dr. Ashutosh, Anji and I came here this morning with a lot of hope.
I am sorry, and maybe I don't have the right, and maybe its not my place to interfere between you both. But, we both feel that as friends who love her a lot and care about her, we will not give you the opportunity to hurt her any more than you already have, unless we are convinced otherwise.
-Anji, do you also feel the way Rohan does? Or do you maybe have a bit more faith in me than him?
He looked directly at her when he spoke, and after a brief hesitation, she said,
-I am sorry Jeejaji, but I am on Nidhi's side in this. And I agree with Rohan. Like him, I too will do whatever I can to make sure that Nidhi does not get hurt again. Jeejaji, I can't even begin to describe, what hell she has and still is going through. But I have seen it, and all I can tell you is that its unbearable.
Ashutosh, was quiet for a few minutes. He knew that they were right. But it still was a blow to his self esteem, anyway, to be told in so many words, by two people who he thought had respected him, that they thought that he was a jerk and that Nidhi was better off without him.
Could he really blame them, though? Last night when he had made the call to Anji, hadn't he been very sure that he would be forgiven, he had also known that everyone would gladly help him to reunite with Nidhi. He had been learning a lot of lessons lately. Today's being that one should never over estimate one's own worth, and be too overconfident about success.
They were wrong about everything but the part where Rohan had chided him about involving the family's help in doing a penance that should be his and his alone. Rohan was right. He had been wrong to ask everyones help. This was for him to do, he needed to work to get forgiveness from Nidhi. By asking for help, he had been trying to make his life easier, trying to reach the goal by taking a shortcut. But there were no shortcuts in life. And he better than anybody should have realized that by now, that in order to gain anything worthwhile, you had to work hard and persevere.
But, Anji and Rohan were wrong about him not realizing Nidhi's pain. No, in that area they were way off target, and he needed to make them understand that. He owed it to the both of them, because he knew that they were Nidhi's true friends, and they loved her a lot and were concerned about her. And he knew the value of true friendship, it was priceless. And, if he were honest with him self, he did not like it that they had formed such a bad opinion of him, he wanted to try and change that, and win their respect back.
-I wonder if Nidhi realizes how lucky she is, to have the both of you as her friends.
Both Anji and Rohan looked up at him in surprise, at these words. They had not been expecting him to say anything like that.
-It took a lot of courage to do what you both have done today. I am very proud of the both of you, and very happy that Nidhi has you both in her life. And while, what you both have said today, is very much deserved, not all of it is correct.
Rohan, you are right when you said that, I should not have asked for help. Thank you for making me realize that. I agree that I should do this myself, instead of depending on others. You were also right when you said that I knew that the elders will forgive me. In fact I thought that both of you would also, and that was another mistake on my part. I should not have assumed anything. I am sorry that I was so over confident and took everyone for granted. I promise you that it will not happen again.
But the thing that both of you were wrong about was, that you both think that I am unaware of Nidhi's suffering. I promise you both, that I am very aware, as I have not only seen it, but I have felt it also.
I know that it is my fault that everyone has the impression that Nidhi's wants, desires and wishes do not matter to me.
I want the both of you to know that Nidhi is the other half of my soul, she is my life, so whenever she feels pain, I feel it also. I have seen it on her face and in her eyes, and I know that she tries to hide it. I know that I am the one responsible for putting that pain in her eyes, and I promise you both that I will also take it away, and replace it with happiness.
I could never in my wildest dreams, even imagine hurting her, and yet I have. And nobody can ever regret that fact more than me. I know that I often give the impression that I don't care. But that is because of who I am. It is very difficult for me to show these kinds of things. I feel that if someone knows me and loves me that they will know what's in my heart and know that I care. I just have a difficult time putting these things into words, and actions. I think that somehow, somewhere along the way I forgot that and let my ego take over. I felt that since Nidhi knows that I love her, she should also be the one understand me. I forgot that in every relationship, it takes two to tango. In my arrogance at being her husband, I forgot that it is my duty to understand her too. But, I will not repeat this mistake ever again.
All I can say is that her accusations hurt me to the core. That my wife would think such things of me and misunderstand my actions to such an extent was incomprehensible to me, and in my anger I failed to see reason. If I had stopped to think, I would have immediately realized that she was talking out of hurt and anger, too.
But, I too lost my temper, and said words that I did not mean, and later when I did realize I was wrong, I again let ego come in between me and my better judgement. I am just sorry that it had to be pointed out to me by Baba, that there was no difference when she lost her temper vs when I lost mine. It was then I understood how unjust I had been with her.
In regards to my actions towards Mallika, your assessment is both right and wrong.
You are right when you say that I placed her needs, and care above Nidhi, I did. You see, I let my feelings of friendship towards her blind me to her faults. I also felt guilty. She had been my friend for 12years, during which she stayed by my side and supported me through thick and thin. I knew that she loved me, but I had made myself very clear to her on that score. I let her know, in no uncertain terms that all I could ever offer was my friendship, and that from my side that was all it could ever be. I also felt guilty that she had married Jagan, because I failed to stop her. And the only way that would have happened was if I married her. But, I could not agree to that. And, when I found her in that condition, I blamed my self. And I guess that I just let that fact blind me to everything else. All I could focus on was that I needed to help my friend heal, and help her get back her life. I have no justification for all my actions during Mallika's stay at our house. And I am just as responsible as her for what she did to Nidhi, as she is. It was such a relief when Nidhi forgave me, but I realize now that it was too easy. Nidhi should have made me work for her forgiveness. I guess I took advantage of that fact again this time. I thought that no matter what I did, Nidhi loved me, and at the end of the day, I would do what i needed to do, and what I thought was right, and I could still win her over and make her forgive me again. I took advantage of her generous nature, and her love for me. I treated it like a weakness that I could exploit at my whim. And, even though she repeatedly asked me to cut my ties with Mallika, I ignored her, then lost my temper when she accused me. I never expected that she would leave me though, it was the one that that I had never counted on. In retrospect I see that this time I had gone too far, and had left her with no other choice.
She had already been more than generous when she asked me to warn Mallika about Jagan, and had also let the fact, that I rented Mallika a house and hired a maid for her at my expense, not become a big issue between us, when it would have been perfectly within her rights to do so. You know what they say, you give somebody an inch, and they end up taking a mile, well in my case I guess I went even further. And, I ended up hurting my wife. I could have done things differently, but in my arrogance, I didn't think I needed to.
I am really very very sorry for that, believe me. As for my forgetting and forgiving the fact that she tried to kill Nidhi, you are right, I did do that. Not the forgetting part, just the forgiving. I did not forget, but I did choose to overlook it. I have no justification for my actions. It was unforgivable. As for your question about Mallika, and about my future dealings with her, and also your question about my hurting Nidhi again. Well the answer to both is the same. I will let my actions speak for me this time. I know I have said a lot of words, but my actions were contrary to those. This time I am going to act first and then say the words.
All I can do at this point is ask you both to have faith in me and believe me, when I say that, I will not let anything hurt her again. I will do everything in my power to make her happy, and she will never have any cause to doubt me, my feelings, or her place in my life. No one means more to me than she does. Certainly not Mallika.
All I want at this point, more than anything else, is to find a way to get her to forgive me, and take me back.
I love her, and I cannot live without her. It's as simple as that.
Rohan and Anji were quiet. And Ashutosh had no more to say. He didn't know what more he could say, that would convince them of his sincerity. Just as he was about to admit defeat, Rohan spoke up,
-Dr. Ashutosh, it seems that we have misjudged you. I guess that we were being very critical and were too quick to jump to the wrong conclusions. Not only that , I was also very harsh, and disrespectful. I hope that you can forgive us, and not be too angry with us. It's just that seeing Nidhi sad and hurting like that, was unbearable. And that made us unfair towards you. I am sorry.
-Me too, Jeejaji. I am also very very sorry. Please accept our apology and forgive us.
Ashutosh smiled at the both of them,
-There is nothing to forgive. I understand. You love Nidhi, and were trying to look out for her. That's what friends do. I am just glad that you both are not angry and that disappointed in my anymore. You both mean a lot lot Nidhi, and me too. I didn't want to loose you both as well. I am glad I was able to clear up your doubts.
-Actally, I was being deliberately cruel to you, Dr. Ashutosh, when I said that you shouldn't have asked for help. I am sorry, it's just that I was angry. And, you were right, who else can you go to if not your family, when you are in trouble. And I would really appreciate it if you would let us help, in any way we can, to patch things up between the two of you.
-Rohan, that's not necessary. You were right. This is something that I should do by my self.
-I was only partly right. Yes, you should do it by yourself, but a little help from friends doesn't hurt either. And if you don't, then I will take it as that you didn't forgive us for being so rude to you a while ago.
Ashutosh, laughed with relief, and stood up and went to shake Rohan's hand. But was surprised that after that Rohan also gave him a small hug. Anji also came up to him with a big smile and hugged him tightly. Then they left, saying that they would also try to think of some plans, that might help.
After they had gone, Ashutosh slumped on the sofa, leaned back and closed his eyes. So, he thought, just where do I start. Nidhi won't even let me close enough to talk to her. How will I get her to be alone with me. And there was no way that he could do or say anything, until then. So, he decided, that first he'd have to think of ways to get her alone, and then start the groveling process.
Ashutosh was preoccupied all throughout dinner, and Baba noticing this smiled. He was happy that his Ashutosh had finally come to his senses. He was proud of the man his son was, after all it took a lot of courage to admit one's mistakes, and then apologize for them. BB knew that this time, it would not be easy for Ashu to convince Nidhi to forgive him and come back. He knew this because of time he had spent with her during the day, and also the talk he tried to have with her in regards to Ashutosh, and their separation. She had not been willing to listen, and had politely asked him to change the topic. He knew that Ashutosh held the majority of the blame, but Nidhi had also a played apart. And now she was being very stubborn, refusing to even listen to anything anyone had to say. Well, he sighed to himself, everyone had to do it their way, and learn their lessons accordingly, Life was a great teacher. Ashutosh and Nidhi, had to find their own way to come to terms, and reconcile their differences with each other. As a parent, all he could do was be there for them and support them in any way he could.
After dinner, Ashutosh retired to his room. He had tomorrow off, and wanted to see if he could come up with something, so that he could Nidhi alone long enough to try and have a talk with her, and he knew that she was off duty as well tomorrow, during the day. He had almost nodded of when, suddenly something occurred to him. Of Course! This was perfect. Why hadn't he thought of this sooner? No sooner had he asked himself that question, he decided to leave well enough alone. He was in no mood for any more self analysis tonight. Tonight he just wanted to think of this idea, and see if it would work, so he called Rohan
-Rohan, Hi, it's Ashutosh.
-Hello Sir. Is there anything I can do for you?
-Well, that's the reason that I am calling. I had an idea, and I wanted to run it by you and Anji first, to see what you guys thought.
By The Way, you can talk cant you? If you can then, I will go ahead and call Anji and put in on conference mode, and then the three of us can talk. If you aren't free, then call me back whenever you are. and we will talk then.
-No, actually I am free. Nidhi is sleeping, she was really tired today, and said that she had a headache.
-Great, then I'll go ahead and call Anji.
After he had both them on the line with him he said,
-I wanted to run my idea by the both of you and get your advice.
You both know about the chai wali dukaan, right? Where Nidhi and I had our so called first date. Well, I thought that if you guys can somehow, get her to come with the both of you around mid morning, I can come there also, and maybe being in that place will soften her enough with nostalgia, that she might sit still long enough for me to talk to her.
That place holds very special memories for the both of us, and it might just make a difference. And after that, with your guys help, we can arrange to meet in all the places we used to go to before marriage, that have special memories and hold significance to our relationship. So, what do you think?
-Jeejaji, I think that's a fabulous idea. And, I know whether she wants to or not, just being there at that place will affect her.
-Sir, I also think that it's definitely worth a try. And if it doesn't work, we can always come up with something else. So what time do you want us to meet you there?
-Actually, Rohan, I think that you all should get there first. I am afraid that if she sees that I am already there, she might leave.
Anji could hear the yearning in his voice, and also the dejection. What have these two done to each other, she thought sadly. They are the one's who made her believe in love, and the kind of power it can wield. How can two people so much in love, hurt each other like this. It was so heartbreaking, Nidhi and Ashutosh had fought for their love and won against all odds. And now, apparently, somewhere along the way, they had lost sight of that fact, and had started taking their relationship and each other for granted. That they could have let someone like Mallika, come in between them now, after they were married, when they didn't before, was surprising. If anything, their bond with each other should have gotten stronger. Anyway...
-Jeejaji, aap kaisi baatein kar rahein hai? Abhi toh khel shuru bhi nahin hua hai, aur aap aise bol rahein hain jaise ki aapne abhi se haar maan li. You can't loose heart, you have to stay positive and believe in yourself and also in your love for each other. And you'll see that in the end everything will be alright.
-Haan, Sir, don't worry we're with you. Sab theek ho jayega. So, ok!
We will get there first. And, I will give you a call right as we leave home, that way you can arrive a little after us.
-I can't thank you both enough. Good night to the both of you and I'll see you guys in the morning.
After hanging up with the two of them, Ashutosh found that he could not sleep. He was really nervous. He knew that nothing would get solved tomorrow, but hoped that at least he would get to take the first step towards his goal.
The next morning, Anji arrived early at Nidhi's house. She had told her husband about their plans, and he had approved. And by the time she had gotten there, Rohan had also informed Dadi Bua and CV. They too seemed very excited, and hopeful.
Now came the tough part, how were they going to convince Nidhi to go along with them.
-Rohan yaar, raat ko Jeejaji ko toh bol diya Nidhi ko lekar aayenge, par bolne se pehle socha nahin ke kaise laayenge. Agar isse pata chal gaya, toh yeh toh kabhi nahin chalegi hamare saath. Ab kya karein?
-Just leave that to me, I'll take care of that part. I'll say something really stupid, and she'll believe me. Nidhi is so out of it now a days, you literally can take her by the hand and lead her anywhere.
-Rohan, I think you are underestimating her. Nidhi doesn't get led anywhere, unless she choose to be, she's the one who does the leading.
-Anji the past ten days or so, we have dragged her around everywhere, and have come up with the flimsiest excuses. She has not made a peep. So how can you say that.
-Rohan, I have known Nidhi since we were little babies. I know her. Even in the worst circumstances she is absolutely aware of everything. I think that she works best when under pressure. And when she wants to, she can be a fierce opponent, or the most loyal of friends, whatever the circumstance, she is very much her own person. The only reason that she has gone along with us so far, is because she doesn't care, she thinks that saying no would hurt our feelings. But I can assure you she knows, and understands. Anyway, let's go wake her up, and then we'll talk her into it somehow.
They found that they didn't have to wake her up, she was already awake and had just about finished getting ready, when they got to her room.
-Nidhi, you're awake! Cool, you just saved us the trouble. We were just coming to wake you up.
-Why? And Anji what are you doing here so early? Is everything alright?
-Kyon, ab mujhe tere ghar pe aane ke liye time dekhna padega kya?
I had the day off, so I called Rohan, and he told me you were free too. So we both decided that the three of us were going to go out for breakfast, and spend the day outside only and just have some fun.
And, since you're already ready, let's go.
-Hold it, hold it, hold it...and back track a little. Yeh kaunsa plan hai, kab bana, aur mujhe pehle kyon nahin bataya. Suppose, I had had plans, phir. Tab kya karte. Huh?
-We did not tell you because when the plans were made you were sleeping. And we knew that you did not have plans, agar hote toh tu hamein pehle hi bataa deti. Toh ab...chalein madam?
-Yea, I guess so. Waise bhi main soch rahi thi ke aaj saara din kya karoongi, bore hone ke sivaye. Theek hai, let me grab my purse, and then let's go.
Rohan and Anji looked at each other and grinned. They had not bargained on it being so easy.
-Rohan, yaar yeh kya chamatkaar ho gaya? Humein toh kuch bhi nahin karna pada. Nidhi toh ek dum jaane ko tayyar ho gayi!
-Yeah, but you realize, don't you, that this will be the only time we are going to have it this easy. After today, when she sees what we have planned, she will not go anywhere with us this easily. So, I suggest that when we come back tonight, and after she has gone to the hospital, you and I get on the phone and talk, and come up with several different scenarios, so that we are not caught off guard.
-You're right, we will talk tonight. Par abhi chup, she is coming.
And right before they left, Rohan sent a text to Ashutosh, letting him know that they were on their way.
Ashutosh left the house about 10 minutes after he received the text from Rohan, that should give them enough time to get there, and settle any issues that Nidhi would have, before he got there. Truth be told, he was really nervous. He didn't think that he had been this nervous even when he had preformed his first solo surgery. Ashutosh crossed his fingers, and wished for luck.
As soon as Rohan parked the car, Nidhi opened her eyes to see where he had brought them. By the time she realized where they were it was too late, and she was out of the car. Nidhi could not believe her eyes. How could both of her friends be this insensitive.
-How could you Rohan? And you Anji? I thought that of all people the two of you would understand. Why did you guys bring me here? Didn't you know what being here would do to me, how it would make feel feel?
-Nidhi, you are the one who keeps saying that you won't go back to Dr. Ashutosh, and that you don't want to have anything to do with him ever again. You know the meaning of what you are saying, don't you? What that means is that you want to forget the past and move forward in life. Well, if that's the case, the case, then you have to get used to places and people that connect you to that past also. And that's why be brought you here. We want to help you, after all we are your friends, right Anji?
-You're right Rohan. Nidhi, now that you have decided that you do not want to be with Jeejaji, you need to start getting over him also. And we are going to do our best to help you put the past behind you. So, unless you changed your mind in that subject, let's go and start your moving on with life process.
Almost as if by devine providence, the minute they stepped under the awning that covered the little street side tea stall, it started pouring rain. Nidhi could not believe her eyes. Now, there was no way that Rohan and Anji could have planned this! This was just so...amazing. Nidhi could not tear her eyes away from the rain, and after the first few seconds of shock, lost herself to the scene in front of her. She remembered it almost as if we're yesterday. The time Ashutosh had driven her home from Priyanka's wedding. It had started raining then too, all of a sudden. She remembers how she had made him stop the car, and then had pulled him out to get wet and enjoy the rain with her. She could still see the joy on his face. That was the day, she remembered, that she had fallen in love with him. She had seen what he hid from the world, his other side. The side that was compassionate, she saw that when he had refused change from the stall owner, and had pressed extra money, into his hands. She had seen his soft and tolerant side, when he did not get angry with her, when she had confessed to stealing his shoes and then giving him a hard time. And then his sense of humor, when he had asked her to tell him the meaning of Khadoos, since that was what she had thought him to be. And after that, Nidhi admitted that she had been lost. She had fallen in love, and had kept on falling. Even today, she had to admit, nothing had changed. Even now, though they were apart and angry, she still loved him, and was still falling in love him him. Ever since they had been married, she had discovered that, you just don't fall in love once, but kept on falling, over and over, day after day, deeper and deeper.
Then she also remembered the second time they had come here together. It was the day that Rohan and Arman had forced them to confess their love to each other, at the durgah. He had brought her here afterwards. She had been so happy that day, her greatest wish had come true. The man she loved, loved her in return. Her heart had been bursting with happiness that day. And then, she was jolted out of the past and it's memories, when Rohan handed her a glass of tea. Then the reality of today hit her. And some instinct, she didn't know what exactly, made her look up.
It had been sunny, when Ashutosh had started from his house, but half way there, it had started pouring. He was amazed. And then he smiled, and thanked who ever was on his side, and had given him such a perfect setting for today. It was definitely a sign.
When he got there, he saw that they were already there, so he parked his car behind Nidhi's and got out. The first thing the only thing that he saw was her. His Nidhi. She was looking out into the rain, and had a beautiful dreamy smile on her face. She is so beautiful, he thought. And her expression told him that, like him, she too was lost in old memories. She was lost in his memories, just as he was in hers. From the first moment they had met, they belonged to each other. He knew that she loved him. And that belief gave him the courage to start walking towards her. And that was when she looked up suddenly, as if she had sensed him, and saw him coming.
Nidhi could not believe what she was seeing! Maybe he's just a hallucination, she thought, and blinked her eyes several times to clear them and looked again. No, he was still there, and he was still coming straight towards her, getting soaked, oblivious to the rain, only concentrating on her. She turns her head to tell off her two friends, who had set her up, only to find that they had disappeared. Those rotten stinkers, she fumed, just wait till I get my hands on them. They wish that they had never been born. And then she stood up to escape, but found that it was too late. Ashutosh was standing there, right in front of her, blocking any way for escape.
Nidhi refused to look at him, and kept her eyes downcast. After a few seconds,
-Nidhi, can you look at me please. Surely I haven't become so ugly, that you refuse to even glance at me. Come on, Nidhi, I just can't keep talking to the top of your head, I mean its beautiful and all, and I love the top of your head also, but it's kind of hard to talk to it.
Nidhi could not help the little smile that came to her lips, at his words. He had always been able to make her smile, no matter how bad she was feeling. And she, he knew, could never resist him. She finally looked up at him, but first made sure to wipe the off her face.
-Thank god. And thank you Nidhi. I never thought that you would ever look up at me, let alone smile at my words.
She was surprised, how had he known?
-I was not smiling. And certainly not at anything you said.
Ashutosh smiled-Nidhi sweetheart you are a terrible liar, I've always told you that. You couldn't lie to save your life. So don't even bother. I know you, and I saw the smile.
-OK fine, I was smiling alright. But then you have such a way with words. You say the funniest things with such a straight face, almost as if you are really serious and mean it. I just couldn't help smiling. You could always make me smile, no matter what.
And for a few seconds they were both lost in each others eyes. Their joy in each other, and at their closeness was clearly visible. Ashutosh heart soared with happiness at what he saw in her eyes. But then the very next second, almost as if a light had been switched off, her eyes clouded over, and became sad and lost once again.
-You always made me smile, but then you also made me cry, more than any one has ever before, too.
And, she started to turn, with the intention of walking away from him, but he caught her hand and stopped her.
-Nidhi, even a condemned man gets a last request, won't you at least give me a chance. Please. Just sit down with me for a few minutes, and listen to what I have to say. And if you don't like what I'm saying, or if it's totally unacceptable to you then all you have to do is tell me, and I will not stop you from leaving. Please.
Nidhi just stared at him for a few seconds,then reluctantly, she sat down, on the near by bench.
-Kahiye, aap kya kehna chahte hain. I will listen. But if I don't like it, then I don't have to say anything to you, I will just leave. And at that time nobody will be able to stop me. Not even you!
-I understand. And once again thank you. It's more generosity than I deserve, but then I've always known that you are one of the most generous and kind hearted person I have ever known.
-And that's the one quality of mine that you have always taken advantage of, right?
She just could not help adding, but the next second felt really bad for when she saw him wince at her cruel taunt. Nidhi was surprised at herself. When did I become like that, deliberately cruel and hurtful, she thought ashamed at herself. Just because she was angry and hurt by him and his behavior towards her, did not give her the right to hurt back. She would see that it did not happen again.
-I guess I deserved that too.
When he saw her quickly glance down in shame, he went on,
-Nidhi you have nothing to be ashamed of. You didn't say anything wrong, its the truth. I have always taken advantage of you in one form or the other. Where it's your generosity, or your soft heart or your love for me. And most importantly you. I have taken you and your love for me for granted. I treated it as your weakness. I thought that since you loved me, I could make you come around and get you to forgive me, no matter what I did, or how much I hurt you. I just never dreamed that my arrogance and blindness would lead to this. Nidhi, I cant tell you how sorry I am. I am not asking you to forgive me, I know that it's too soon for that yet. But I am asking you to find it in your heart to please give me another chance. Just one chance to show you by my actions this time, that things will be different now. If you can give me this chance, I promise you that I will never give you cause to regret your decision.
Ashutosh looked at Nidhi, and what he saw gave him hope. She was sitting there, looking right at him, her eyes had softened a bit, and there was a slight hesitation in her manner, almost as if she was considering his request.
At last, after a few minutes, coming to terms with the struggle inside her, Nidhi offered him a tiny tentative smile. And, as she opened her mouth to speak, his phone rang. He looked at her with an apology on his face, and took out his,phone to see who it was. He hoped it was not some emergency at the hospital. He didn't want to leave her just yet. She had been about to say something good, he was sure of that.
So, he took his phone out of his pocket and looked at the caller ID display, and groaned in dismay. IT WAS MALLIKA ! And he jerked his head up to look at Nidhi wishing with all his might, praying that she had not seen the name on the phone ID. But of course not, he was not that lucky. She had seen the name of the caller. And judging by the expression on her face now, whatever strides he had made, were totally wiped out, in fact, this call had probably set him back by a few strides.
And before he could say or do anything, she got up and ran off, into the rain, oblivious to the fact that she would get drenched. And Anji and Rohan who had been standing behind them hiding, ran after her with a puzzled and regretful look thrown quickly at him.
Ashutosh was furious. It's almost as if she has an inbuilt radar, or she had him bugged and was monitoring his every move. She somehow picked the worst times, to make her presence known. Well today, he was going to set her straight on a few things. And calling him, just to shoot the breeze was one of them. He needed to make it clear that to her that she could not call him, when she felt like it, and that unless it was an emergency, or life and death situation, preferably hers, she should forget that she even had his number. Or maybe, even better, he would get his number changed, and let her calls be routed through the hospital. He was definitely going to do something. DAMN THAT MALLIKA! He cursed! She was such a nuisance!
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