What next? FF with the Doc: epilogue page 55 - Page 10

Chapter 7

"Kya keh rahi hai tu? Mera to ab iss pyaar vyaar se vishwas hi uth gaya hai...Kounsi kami thee mere pyaar mein jo itna sab hone ke bawjood Dr Ashutosh Mallika ko nahi bhula paye? Mere pyaar se jyaada Mallika ki dosti maayane rakhti hai unke liye...Unhe bachchon se bahut lagaave hai na, phir mujhse uss tarah baat kyoun nahi ki jis tarah uss din woh Mallika se..."Nidhi was crying. "Aaj bhi, aaj bhi, mujhe Dr Mallika mera pyaar, mera pati, apni khairaat ke roop me deti nazar aati hai... Kyoun Anjie? Kyoun? Kya har waqt apne pati ko pane ke liye mujhe Mallika ka Ahsaan lena padega? Apne pyaar ke ehsaas ke liye kab tak Mallika se izaazat leni padegi? Kyoun Anjie, Kyoun..." A hysterical Nidhi banged her head on the wall, sobbing her heart out.

Anjie was terrified...she had never seen Nidhi like this, her best friend Nidhi, the chirpy Nidhi, who had conquered the hearts of all kids in the children ward, was so bitter in life that she didn't want to believe in life itself...DB and Col Verma had coming running to Nidhi's room on hearing her shout and didn't know what to do...CS had quietly called Dr Ashutosh on his cellphone "daktar saab, Nidhi Bibiji ki tabiyet bahut kharab ho rahi hai...aap jaldi aaiye..." Ashutosh had jumped from his chair and grabbed his car keys.

"Ashu, ruk, mein bhi chalta huon..."BB had piled along. From the car he called Col Verma, "Col Verma, Kya hua?" "Pata nahi, yeh to Anjie hi bata sakti nai, hum jab tak pahunche tab tak Nidhi ro ro kar behosh ho gayi thi...phir muh par paani maara, thodi coffee peene ke baad, palang par baithi shunya mein nihaar rahi hai" Col Verma was apparently having second thoughts about having got Nidhi discharged from the hospital. DB was not far behind: she shouldn't have let Anjie take Nidhi to Armaan's show.

BB and Ashutosh walked in anxiously in Col Verma's house and were received by a sobbing and distraught DB. "Ashutosh, tu yahi ruk, main under jaake dekhata houn..."BB had taken charge of the tense situation.

"Nidhi beta, kya hua? BB asked, stroking her head tenderly. Nidhi stared in space. Anjie was sitting next to her in the bed, holding Nidhi's hand. "Pata nahi Bade Baba, hum dono kuchh baatein kar rahe the, iss lal gulab ke bare mein, aur yeh achanak..."Anjie was clearly on a guilt trip... Na woh Nidhi ki iss function mein le jaati, na yeh sab hota...kya zarurai thi yeh sab karne ki? Shyama and Solanki uncle had also been worried.

Ashutosh's cell buzzed: it was Armaan. He had called up the Mathur home to find out Ashutosh's opinion about his collection and Hiraman Kaka had told him the happening at Col Verma's house. "Ashu, kya hua Nidhi ko? Armaan asked, with apprehension and worry creeping in his voice, "saare function mein to achhi thi...kahin isliye to nahi ki tu bhi wahan tha?"

"Wohi to, Armaan, lagata hai ki Nidhi ko meri surat se, meri aahat se bhi nafrat ho gayi hai...Meri baat sunana to door, woh to mere saaye se bhi door bhag rahi hai...samajh nahi aata mein kya karu..."Ashutosh was clearly dejected, "Yeh tu kya keh raha hai Ashu?" BB was clearly shocked as he overheard these revelations..." Nahin aisa nahin ho sakta...mein khud Nidhi se baat karoonga...agar aisi nafarat hi honi thi to uparwale ne tum dono ki Jodi kyoun banayi?"

"Baba please...Nidhi mera jikr sunate hi bifar uthti hai...uska agitate hona theek nahi... " Ashutosh was clearly pleading for Nidhi's mental peace. "Tu fikr mat kar mere Bachche, aur yeh mat bhool ki mein bhi ek doctor houn...aise cases ko sambhalna bhi aata hai mujhe...aur ab mujhe hi kuchh karna padega..." Dr Mathur was determined.

The night was uneventful, with Nidhi under deep sedation with Pentothal, and Ashutosh by her bedside. Ashutosh, though bone tired, just couldn't sleep...the words of an old song came haunting back to him.."Meri duniya lut rahi thi aur mein behosh tha..." he kept on staring at the face of his love, now fast asleep, he couldn't control himself and gave her a small peck on the forehead. Nidhi stirred, restlessly, her hands tensed as Ashutosh called out softly, "Nidhi...meri baat sun rahi ho na? Nidhi...I love you, Nidhi...please mujhse door mat jao..."and put his cheek against her forehead. Nidhi's hands got over their unclenching and she drifted back to sleep.

Next day morning Dr Mathur had a long chat with Anjie..."tell me exactly what happened yesterday?" "Ohh I get the picture now...when Anjie had narrated exactly what Nidhi had said before collapsing. "To yeh baat hai..." Dr Mathur could foresee the type of treatment required for both Nidhi and Ashutosh. Additionally, there was this miscarriage, to face and accept as an accidental outcome...

He deduced that Nidhi was feeling insecure about Mallika's friendship with Ashutosh and Ashutosh, on the other hand, couldn't fathom what exactly Nidhi wanted out of him. And then, there was this complication of Mallika's one sided historical insecure possessive relationship with Ashutosh, which Nidhi just couldn't relate to...He decided to have a long talk with Nidhi once she was fit to hear it out.

Days crawled by...the following week brought on some additional developments: Nidhi had to go to Dr Bharati for a checkup. Everyone at home was feeling apprehensive about Nidhi stepping in the premises of KGH once again: what if she ran into Dr Ashutosh? How would she react? With another panic attack? Fortunately Dr Ranganath arranged for the appointment in such a way as to coincide with a major surgery to be done by Dr Ashutosh.

"Hi Nidhi, how are you dear?" Dr Bharati had boomed, as Nidhi seated herself opposite her. Nidhi managed a weak smile, "Achchi houn...bas yeh kamjori chali jaaye phir...phir se job join karna chahti houn..." Anjie, who had accompanied Nidhi, had jolted awake at this revelation. "Kahan karna hai job? Aur ghar mein sab ko pata hai iss bare mein?" "Nahin Anjie, kissi ko nahin pata...maine hi faisala liya ki JS mein apni internship poori karungi aur wahi quarters bhi hai..rehene ke liye...achcha chal, main blood sample dekar aati houn..." and Nidhi had walked to the pathology lab.

Dr Bharati had been watching Nidhi carefully ever since she had walked in for today's appointment, and further as she discussed her career plans with Anjie. Nidhi's eyes were blank, devoid of any expression, she might have recovered physically but psychologically...there was a huge void of depression and loneliness. Dr Bharati made a quick mental note of putting this across to Ashutosh, just as a matter of conversation.

"Nidhi, can I talk to you alone for some time? Dr Bharati had queried. Anjie got up at that and said, "Mein Dr Ranganath se milkar aati houn...and left them alone. Dr Bharati kept on toying with her pen and ultimately asked "Dekho Nidhi, I have no business interfering in your personal matters, but as you are my patient and Dr Ashutosh is a colleague, that's why...hope you understand?" Nidhi nodded, but had no idea where this was leading to, till Dr Bharati asked her bluntly, without any preamble, "do you still love Dr Ashutosh?"

"Aap yeh kya poochh rahi hai? Woh mere pati hai!!! Nidhi was clearly outraged and embarrassed, "Dekho Nidhi bura mat mano, mera matlab tumhe hurt karna nahi tha...tum unse pyaar karti ho, unhe pati maanti ho, woh bhi tumse bahut pyaar karte hai...phir tum unse door kyoun ho? Aur phir yeh tum JS mein residential quarters etc ki baat kar rahi thi na, usiliye poochha"

"Nahin Dr Bharati maine bura nahin mana, par ab woh sab kuchh nahi raha jo pehle hua karta tha...Ek hi pal mein unhone mujhse naata tod diya, mujhe apne ghar se, apni zindagi se nikal diya..."a lone tear was threatening to spill from Nidhi's eyes, "Aap nahin jaanti...main under se toot chuki houn...mein uss ehsaas ko bhool jaana chahti houn...JS mein job karungi to shayad bhulne mein aasaani hogi...isiliye socha"

"Khair chhodo, I was just being curious...tumhari tabeeyat abhi bhi theek nahin hai...if you don't eat properly how would you get any better? Aur theek nahin hui to job kaise karogi?" Dr Bharati had put her finger on Nidhi's Achilles' heel. "Ok, see you after 15 days, but in a better shape than today...promise?" "I promise..." Nidhi had smiled a ghost of a smile, which did not reach her eyes.

Dr Bharati reached for her intercom and asked if Dr Ashutosh was back from his surgery. She had made a quick mental note of things to inform him, about Nidhi.

Nidhi was walking alongside Anjie, lost deep in thought. Her feet paused on their own, when she came across Dr Ashutosh's cabin and she clutched Anjie's forearm involuntarily. "Jeeja Ji abhi tak surgery mein hai...tu unke liye rukna chahegi? Anjie was full of hope. "Nahin re, maine kaha na...chal jaldi ghar chal..."Nidhi walked fast towards the car.

The car wouldn't start !!! Anjie twisted and twisted the keys in the ignition, but the stubborn engine just refused to comply. "Ab kya karein? Iss waqt yahan se taxi bhi nahin milegi...achcha, car servicing agency ke mechanic ko bulati houn, tu wahan baith ja...aise khadi rahegi to thhak jayegi."

Nidhi moved back in the hospital OPD and sat down wearily on one of the benches. Bas ab thodi hi der mein car theek ho jayegi, and we will move away from here, she wished hopefully. But fate had some other designs for her...her eyes grew heavy with drowsiness as her sheer weak physical state started overtaking her mental alert processes.

The red light on the operation theatre went off and a group of people waiting outside hastily got up to their feet, overcome with their anxiety. Dr Ashutosh came out, sans his head wear, pulled down his mask and smiled at the anxious wife, "he is safe now...I have removed the tumour...he is deeply sedated now...you can see him in about 2 hours..." The son was full of gratitude, "Hum yeh aapka ehsaan kabhi nahin bhoolenge Doctor sahib...aap ke roop mein to hume bhagwan mil gaye..." The son had tears his eyes as Dr Ashutosh smiled and walked away to his cabin.

On the way to his cabin, his cellphone buzzed. It was Dr Bharati. Dr Bharati quickly updated him about Nidhi's visit to the hospital and the subsequent discussions. Ashutosh was thoughtful as he walked to his cabin, and he suddenly took a double take as he saw a familiar figure sleeping on the OPD bench...Nidhi!!! "What was she doing here? Was she not feeling well? Why was she sleeping like this? Had she fainted? These were his thoughts as he carried her to his cabin and laid her gently on the sofa.

"Nidhi...tum theek to ho?" Ashutosh called out gently as he stroked her hair. Nidhi stirred groggily in her sleep, tried to open her eyes and snapped awake as she realized where she was. In sheer terror, she tried to bolt away from him, but that was a split second gesture only, as he moved quickly to pin her arms down to the sofa...

"Nahin Nidhi, aaj tumhe aise nahin jaane doonga...tumhe meri baat sunani hi padegi...please Nidhi..."

"Ab hamare beech mein aisa kuchh nahi reh gaya Dr Ashutosh...jo kaha ya suna ja sake... please aaj mujhe mat rokiye...Ek baar aapne Good-bye keh diya na...ab jaane dijiye...ab Izzazat de dijiye please..." Tears became a flood of emotions,

"Meraa kuchh saamaan tumhaare paas padaa hain...

Saawan ke kuchh bhige bhige din rakhe hain...

aur Mere yek khat mein lipate phool pade hain...

wo raat Buzaa do, meraa wo saamaan lautaa do...please...

Nidhi stood up shakingly and refused help, as Ashutosh offered his hand to support her staggering. She started towards the door when Ashutosh caught her hand and held it tight,

"Nidhi, bas...ab meri baari...meri bhi sunati jao...Mujhe bhula sakogi? Wo ghar, jisse tumne aur maine saath basaya, usse bhoolna chahti ho? Woh pal, jo sirf tumhare aur mere the, unhe bhula sakogi? Woh duniya, jisme sirf tum aur main the, woh duniya khatm ho jayegi? Kerala mein to tumne yahi kaha tha ki iss zindagi mein tum mujhe bhool nahin sakti, phir ab?

"Theek hai, Nidhi, agar mujhse door rehkar tum khush rah sakti ho to yehi sahi...yaad, hai, ek baar kerala mein sirf tumhari khushi ke liye maine tumse na milne ki, na baat karne ki kasam khayi thi? Aaj wahi kasam, wahi wada mujhse ek baar aur le lo Nidhi...

Jab tak tum khud chalkar mere paas nahi aaogi, tab tak mein tumse door rahunga...par yeh jaan lo, meri zindagi mein tumhari jo jagah thi woh tumhari hi rahegi...yeh banda kal bhi tumhara tha, aaj bhi hai aur kal bhi rahega...

Par meri bhi ek shart hai...tum apni zindagi se yun haar nahi maanogi...phir se muskuraogi...hansogi...you will live again. Aur JS join karna chahati ho na, zaroor karo...aur wahi rehna chahti ho na, to wahi raho...shayad yehi mere gunaah ki sazaa hai ki mein apni Nidhi ki ek jhalak dekhane ke liye taras jaoon...aur phir tumhara apna wazood, apni identity honi chahiye...nahin to 14^th rank ka kya faayada?" Ashutosh smiled through his agony, and his hand involuntarily reached to caress her cheek and wipe her tears. At last his Nidhi had spoken to him and an uneasy truce had been reached between her and him. The problem was, he just didn't know how to maintain his side of the promise...the uphill journey had just begun.