What next? FF with the Doc: epilogue page 55 - Page 11

"Yeh tum kya keh raha hai Ashu beta? Hosh to theekane hai na? Arre wahan JS mein naukri to theek hai, par wahi rehna? Akeli rahegi wahan? Tumse alag?" BB was incredulous, confused and angry at the same time. "Main Nidhi se abhi baat karata houn usne yeh faisala aise kaise le liya? How could she decide this on her own?"

"Baba, please aap Nidhi se kuchch mat kahiye...Mujhe manjoor hai...isi mein uski khushi hai na...aur kya chahiye Baba..."Ashutosh was clearly pained.

It had been 2 weeks after Ashutosh had committed to Nidhi that he would lead a separate life, away from her, if she so wished, just for the sake of her happiness. Nidhi had recovered reasonably well after her communication with Ashutosh, gaining her appetite and health. Then one fine day she had called him to convey that the JS Manager had asked her to join as soon as possible, so she wanted some of her books and clothes to be brought to Col Verma's house.

Ashutosh was packing her clothes and other things in her suitcase when he noticed something in the far end of her cupboard, a small ball of wool, with a pair of knitting needles and something half knitted. He never had seen or known Nidhi knitting, and curious, unravelled the ball to find a pair of baby booties, half done...the very discovery brought tears to his eyes as a "would have been father" realization struck him squarely. The wool was soft, as he tenderly thought about his baby and kissed the booties, "Sorry, my little one...I was not destined to be a good father maybe that's why... "

Hearing BB's footsteps he kept the booties back in the cupboard, hastily wiped his eyes and brought on the same inscrutable expression on his face. "I am done, Baba," he said as he closed the lid of the suitcase and heaved it to his car, "Baba mein Nidhi ke ghar ja raha houn, I maybe late, don't wait for me for dinner..." and was gone.

The expression in his eyes was remote as he drove mechanically, hoping that the journey would never end. "Anything for you, Nidhi...anything for your happiness...I will watch you from far...if you smile somewhere, my heart will skip enough beats to remind me of your love...Ashutosh smiled sadly.

The mood at Col Verma's house was equally electric. "Magar kyoun, meri bachchi? Uss JS mein naukri karane ki kya zaroorat hai? ghar baithkar aaram kar aur aage ki soch..." DB had objected.

"aage ki hi to soch rahi houn DB..aur Dr Ashutosh bhi man gaye..."

"Woh mann gaye to hum bhala koun hote hai uspar soch vichaar karne wale..."

Ashutosh had walked in at that moment with the suitcases. DB's eyes had grown wider, she just couldn't understand the suitcases...She had searched Ashutosh's face for an explanation, but found none, then Nidhi's, Nidhi had averted her eyes away.

"kya baat hai, tum log kya chhupa rahe ho? Yeh suitcase? Tum log kahin shift ho rahe ho kya?

"DB, actually mein JS ke residential quarters mein shift ho rahi houn, unko ek full time residential doctor ki zarurat hai..."Nidhi's voice had quivered with uncertainity.

"Arre par...iska matlab tu wahan akeli rahegi aur Dr Ashutosh? Woh bhi tere saath rahenge na?" DB had eternal hopes on her Bajarang Bali, "haan, DB mein aata jaata rahunga..."Ashutosh had also averted his eyes, clearly not wanting to expose their marital rift.

DB looked sharply at both Nidhi and Ashutosh: something was wrong, something was very wrong. Then she caught the eye of Col Verma, who smiled and reassured her, "Bua, yeh mat bhulo ki ab Nidhi ki shaadi ho gayi hai, ab woh Dr Ashutosh ki zimmedari hai, woh dono mil kar jo bhi faisala lenge, hume manjoor hona chahiye..."

"Chalo theek hai, aap kehte ho to...aur jab miya-bibi raji ho to..." DB was clearly not convinced, "kya karega paaji..." CS had completed. DB had glared at him.

"Achcha Nidhi, mein kal subah tumhe pick karane aa jaoonga...be ready. Tumhe JS chhod kar, saari formalities karane ke baad, wahin se KGH chala jaoonga..." Ashutosh was standing on his feet, ready to leave.

"Arre Daktar, abhi aaye aur abhi chal diye? kuchh chai-coffee ho jaati?

"Nahin DB, raat bahut ho chuki hai na..phir BB intezaar kar rahe honge dinner ke liye..."

"Han wo bhi theek hai...Arre beta Nidhi, daktar ko zara gate tak to chhod kar to aa..." DB dictated.

"Thanks" Nidhi had whispered. "Kisliye? Ashutosh had turned towards her. "Aap jaante hai kisliye..." Nidhi's voice had conveyed a lot of unsaid matter. Ashutosh stared at Nidhi for a long time, trying to read her mind, but Nidhi's eyes were downcast with apprehension. Without waiting for a reply, she turned away and walked unsteadily back to the house.

Tumhi ne mujh ko hasna sikhaya, rone ko kaho to ro denge hum...

Ansoon ka hamare gham na karo, yeh behte hai to behne do...

Mujhe tumse mohabbat ho gayi hai, mujhe palakon ki chhavo mein rehne do...

Next day dawned as usual: birds singing over trees as early sunshine broke through clouds. Ashutosh drove to Col Verma's house to pickup Nidhi... when he entered the house, DB was doing a small aarti for Nidhi.

"Arre Daktar, aao aao...lo tumhari bhi aarti karti houn...waise bhi,akeli shaadi shuda kanya ki aarati achchi nahin lagti...chalo dono, aaju baaju khade ho jao..."DB was enthusiastic. Ashutosh looked at Nidhi from the corner of his eyes; Nidhi was clearly very uncomfortable with all this.

"Chalo Nidhi, we are getting late..." Ashutosh just wanted to get out of these surroundings as soon as possible. The drive was silent, devoid of all expressions from the people being driven, till they stuck traffic somewhere near JS.

"kaash yeh traffic jam kabhi khatm na ho..." something triggered in Ashutosh's memory. Not so long ago, he had offered to drop Nidhi home, on the eve of Col Verma's birthday, had got caught in a traffic jam and wished the same!! He stole a sideways glance at Nidhi, she was looking forward with a blank fixed expression.

Soon the traffic jam cleared...they arrived at JS and the Manager Mr Rastogi was waiting for them. He summoned the attendant to take Nidhi's suitcase to her room and was surprised to see Dr Ashutosh,

"Sir, aap? Inke saath, yahan?" He had no inkling that they were married.

Nidhi added hastily, "Ha Mr Rastogi, yeh mujhe drop karne aaye hai..." and left it at that.

Nidhi walked into her room...it was a small room with a single bed, a cupboard, a study table, a small kitchenette and an attached toilet-bath. The room had a single curtained window overlooking the patio and an intercom attached to the wall. Ashutosh also walked in the room and looked around, not sure what to do next.

They stood like that for a long time...Nidhi stared out of the window with her back to Ashutosh...Ashutosh stared at her profile sadly. Then he approached her and spoke, in an uncertain voice,

"Would you need anything? Yeh kuchh paise rakho...Kabhi zarurat padi to kaam aayenge...Aur ek baat...tum KGH mein yeh bhool gayi thi..." and opened his hand to reveal her mangalsutra.

"Ohh yeh...Nidhi's hand automatically went to feel round her neck and didn't find it there, she put out her hand to Ashutosh, who put the mangalsutra in her palm and closed her fingers over it.

Nidhi gazed at the mangalsutra in her hand and her eyes brimmed over... how proud was she at that instant when Ashutosh had put this around her neck...the symbol of a holy union...of love...and now, forgotten? Involuntarily she raised her eyes, only to catch Ashutosh gazing at her with such tender love that her heart turned a couple of summersaults. She hastily averted her eyes, tried to look elsewhere to hide her tears, and Ashutosh offered his handkerchief, "Mein itna bhi bura insaan nahin houn Nidhi, ki tumhe muzse apne aansoo chhupane pade...please..."

"Achcha main chalta houn...if you need anything, absolutely anything at anytime, just call me Nidhi...Yahan khush rahogi yehi ummeed hai...just be happy...kabhi bhi, kissi bhi cheez ki zaroorat ho to bata dena...don't hesitate..."

And he was gone. The dam of emotions, which she had so far struggled to keep in check, overflowed from her eyes as she stood in the window overlooking the patio at his handsome retreating figure. What a turn of events, what did her fate have in store for her?

"Nidhi Madam, would you like to have tea?" It was Mr Rastogi. Hurriedly she dried her tears and tried to look normal, but Mr Rastogi's sharp eyes did not miss her tear stained face and the mangalsutra dangling from her clenched fist.

"Aapki tabiyet to theek hai na?" That was Mr Rastogi's polite way of asking whether anything was amiss. "Dr Ashutosh chale gaye kya? unke liye bhi chai banayi thi..unki favourite...AKC..." "Ha woh chale gaye...KGH mein surgery hogi...aur shukriya, mein theek houn, mujhe chai nahin chahiye..." Nidhi's voice had trailed off.

The rest of the day passed without a murmur. Mr Rastogi took Nidhi around and introduced her afresh to all inmates, though nothing much had changed since her last sojourn there. The only prominent change was a temple that had come up in the neighbourhood, and the bells could be heard tolling, indicating the morning and evening rituals. It would be nice to visit there sometime; she made a mental note to remind herself.

Days passed by...Nidhi was slowly settling into the routine of JS, with the morning rounds, the various emergencies that came by, and further being an agony aunt to some of the inmates. Night was a torture, as most of inmates were sound asleep, and Nidhi lay awake, gazing at the moon...remembering the good time that she had spent with Ashutosh. So many times she stared at her mobile, pleading for it to ring, yearning to hear Dr Ashutosh's voice on the other end.

BB had come once to JS to see how Nidhi was doing, and was shocked to see her..."Nidhi beta, yeh kya halat bana rakhi hai? woh full of life Nidhi kahan gayi?" "Ab aap hi kuchh kahiye Dr Mathur sab, na theek se khati hai na soti hai...akeli gum sum rehti hai...pata nahin kounsa gam hai jo inhe under se deemak ki tarah chaat raha hai..." Mr Rastogi was clearly worried about Nidhi.

The temple bell tolled at that very instant, "Arre, yahan koi Mandir hai? BB had not known about it. Mr Rastogi was however enthusiastic, "Aap log ghoom ke aaiye, abhi dinner ke liye waqt hai...Nidhi Madam ka dil bhi thoda behal jaayega na..."

"Nidhi beta, kaisi hai tu? Beta mein iss waqt tera nana bol raha houn...man mein koi sankoch mat rakh meri bachchi...poori baat bata, yeh tune kya faisala liya, meri bachchi?" Dr Mathur was speaking rapidly, as if not to waste a single moment with Nidhi. "Nahi BB, yeh to hona hi tha, gusse mein aakar us din Dr Ashutosh ne mujhe apni zindagi se nikal diya, get lost bol diya...yeh bhi nahi socha ki mein kahan jaungi? Isiliye yahan rehane ki jagah mili to meine faisala le liya...ab yahin rehkar apni zindagi jeeungi BB...aur sab kuchch bhulne ki koshish karungi..." Nidhi was softly crying, as the memories came back to her.

BB put his hand around her shoulder and asked, "Ashu se door rehkar kya tu khush hai? Usse bhula sakogi?" Nidhi lowered her eyes and shook her head. "Teri Ashu se sirf yahi shikayat hai na, ki woh Mallika ko bhula nahi paya?" Nidhi nodded. "Beta Ashu mere hi paas pala hai...uspar mere hi sanskar hai...aur ek baat mein daawe ke saath keh sakta houn Nidhi...Ashu ne tere saath koin bewafaayi nahin ki...he has always remained faithful to you...aur yeh wafa usne us waqt bhi nibhayi jab tu uski zindagi mein nahi thi...mera yakeen kar beta..." In a flash, Nidhi remembered...when Mallika had dangled his promise in front of him and asked for his hand in return... and that he had refused point blank, justifying that he loved someone else.

"Aur Beta, Jo jagah Ashutosh ki zindagi mein teri hai na, woh kissi aur ki nahin ho sakti...Han Mallika usse thoda jyaada jaanti hai, uss cheez ko to koi badal nahin sakta na...and you don't have to feel insecure about that..." Dr Mathur had continued, "Ashutosh to aaj bhi tere liye udaas rehta hai...tere naam se jeeta hai. Kitni raatein usne teri yaad mein kursi par baith kar Katie hain...kehta hai tere bina woh kamara usse kaatne ko aata hai..."

Nidhi could imagine the scene. Once in the past, when they had a fight, she had slept on the sofa and had woken up somewhere in the night to find him in his favourite rocking chair.

"Khair chhod...ab bhi tumhari tabeeyat kuchch khaas theek nahi dikhayi deti...do dino ke baad Dr Bharati ki appointment hai na? Dawa theek se le rahi ho na?" Nidhi had nodded to this. "Ab chal, raat kafi ho gayi...dinner ka time ho gaya..."

They were walking back to JS when they passed a known car and a familiar figure approached them... Nidhi looked up and was startled...Ashutosh!!

"Ghar jaate hi mujhe pata chala ki BB yahan hai...Mr Rastogi ne bataya ki aap dono yahan ghoomne aaye hai to aapko lene aa gaya..." Ashutosh looked around; "nice temple...and nice ambience" helped BB in the car, "Ok, goodnight, Nidhi..." and drove off.

Nidhi stared at the car's taillights for a long time after that. She suddenly felt lost by the abrupt behaviour of Ashutosh...maybe he is trying to get over the whole relationship, she justified to herself.

Kaash na aati apni judaai, maut hi aa jati...

Koi bahane chain hamari rooh to pa jati...

Ek pal hasna mujhe, iss dil ki lagi ne na diya...

Zeher bhi chaha agar, peena to peene na diya...

Her cellphone buzzed suddenly, it was Priyanka. "Hi Nidhi, kaisi hai tu? Achcha sun, parson mein aur mere pati ek party de rahe hai, meri shaadi ko ek saal ho gaya usiki khushi mein...dekh, mein kuchh nahi sunana chahti, tujhe aana hi hoga..." Priyanka was persistence personified... "Tu kahe to mein Anjie ko keh deti houn, wo tujhe lekar aayegi aur drop bhi kar degi..."

"Theek hai, Nidhi madam, aap zaroor jayiye...aap ke liye thoda change ho jayega...yahan kuchh khaas kaam nahi hai..."Mr Rastogi had noticed that Nidhi's melancholy mood had lifted a little with Dr Mathur's visit. Nidhi was in a dilemma... ever since her accident, she had lost her total zest to live, but then remembered that someone had told her "to start living" and decided to go.

Nidhi chose to wear an off-white saree with matching pearl and crystal set for Priyanka's party. There were many memories associated with Priyanka's wedding which had been solemnised a year back. Anjie had arrived on the dot, similarly decked, and they had driven off to the party venue soon after.

The party venue was a huge garden restaurant on the outskirts of Lucknow, decorated like a Christmas tree with lighting and balloons. A stage performer was singing popular songs as well as "songs on farmaish" with the accompanying orchestra. Priyanka and her husband were at the door welcoming all guests with enthusiasm, "Nidhi!!!! Achcha kiya tu aa gayi...ab mast enjoy kar, ok!! Phir milte hai, aur dekh, koi pasand ke gaane hai to bata de..."

"Nidhi, tu yahan baith, mein tere liye kuchh laati houn..."Anjie had glided away after Nidhi settled down on one of the tables. Her thoughts moved a year back, as she had danced in the wedding, as she had pulled Dr Ashutosh for the dance, spilt cold drink on his suit, flicked his shoes and then discovered the real "Ashutosh" behind that Khadoos pretence.

"Welcome, Dr Ashutosh!!!" Priyanka was hyperexcited, "there is someone who is sitting alone...waiting for you..."