I am drowning under these files. Their pile seems to grow larger, the harder I try to dispose them off. God, how much longer? Dr Ashutosh had promised me that he would assign me medical responsibilities once Dr Rangnath returned. I know Anji is my best friend and all, but right now I can't help wishing they would just cut short their honeymoon and return tomorrow. They had already been away a week. Long enough, in my opinion!
Dr Seth walks into the record room. He wants the file of one of his old patients pulled out . As i rummage through the stack, I hear him say something that halts my breath.
"So Dr Nidhi, I guess you won't have to keep these files company for too long!"
I turn to him in excitement. Had Dr Ashutosh said something to him? Was he going to assign me to work with Dr Seth maybe? He was one of Lucknow's best known neonatologists. Working with him would be a great experience.
"Why do you say that, Sir?"
"Well, I guess you'll be flying off to Scotland soon after all!"
I was pole-axed. Where did that come from ?
"Why Scotland, Sir?"
He looked just a bit discomfited.
" You don't know then? Dr Ashutosh hasn't told you?"
I was getting more and more curious now.
"What hasn't he told me, Sir?"
"About the invitation from the Royal College of Surgeons in Glasgow. It is a very prestigious fellowship offered only to outstanding surgeons from all over the world!"
My heart swells with pride before dropping to the pit of my stomach. We were going to Glasgow? Why hadn't he told me? What about my internship? Would I ever get to complete it?
Dr Seth is oblivious to my turmoil.
"Looks like I've let the cat out of the bag, Maybe he wanted to surprise you with the good news!"
He leaves after taking the file that he came for.
I can't focus on my work thereafter. Why hadn't he told me? Did he really want to surprise me? Shouldn't he have asked me for my opinion first? We were a couple. How could he have taken such a huge decision to relocate, even if temporarily, all by himself? I can't help feeling irritated!
I am silent on the way back home, pleading a headache. I know he is looking at me every now and then through the corner of his eye but I choose to ignore him.
Dinner is a silent affair. Baba is preoccupied with something. So, he doesn't notice anything amiss!
Dr Ashutosh is lying on the bed, reading a medical journal.
I am seated in front of the mirror, brushing my hair!
He seems engrossed in the journal. I can't hold myself back anymore.
"When were you planning to tell me? After the tickets are booked?"
He looks up in surprise.
"What tickets?"
"To Glasgow!"
There is a guilty expression on his face that he just can't hide.
"Who told you?"
"How does it matter?"
He keeps quiet.
"So, when are we going?"
"We are not going!"
I am confused now.
"We are not?"
"No!"
Then it dawns on me. He intends to leave me behind.
"So, you are going all by yourself?"
He looks at me in surprise.
" Are you crazy? How could I do that?"
"So then?"
"So nothing. Neither of us is going and that is that!"
"Dr Seth was wrong then?"
"No, he was right?"
I can't take this anymore. I drop the brush on the dresser and walk towards the bed, dropping myself beside him with a thud.
"If he was right, then obviously we have to go!"
"Not really. I turned them down!"
I can't believe my ears. Has he gone mad?
"Are you crazy? How could you do that?"
"Well, I thanked them for the honour and then told them my family circumstances did not permit me to accept it right now!"
"What family circumstances?"
"Nidhi, why are you being dense? You still have to complete your internship. There is no way you can come. And I couldn't survive your absence for a day when you went off to Anjie's. So there is no way I can go without you!"
I am stunned. He loves me so much? He wants me to complete my internship? He can't bear to be apart from me? So, he turns down a fellowship as prestigious as that? Is this man for real?
I suddenly get very angry.
"You think I am still a kid, don't you?"
"Now where did that come from?"
"Couples normally don't take decisions unilaterally. They consult each other before they do. But then, I am not mature enough to be consulted!"
"Nidhi, it's not that...and you know that!"
"So what is it then?"
He looks mildly exasperated.
"If I had told you, then there would have been no discussion. You would have insisted that I should take it up. You would have forgotten all about your internship. For you, I come ahead of all else. You would never have let me turn them down. You would have given up all your dreams again to fulfil mine. I messed things up once already, Nidhi. I won't be guilty of the same a second time. So, I just went ahead and turned them down myself!"
By now, tears are flowing down my cheeks. He wipes them away tenderly as he takes me into his arms. He drops a kiss on my head.
"Nidhi, I don't know how I survived without you all these years. But I do know that I can't survive without you hereon!"
What have I done to deserve this love? What is age, what is society, what is anything in the face of this love?
He lowers his head and kisses me tenderly. When he would have made to deepen the kiss, I pull back.
"What now?"
"We need to talk!"
"What do we need to talk about now?"
"Something I told you I don't want to talk about!"
He is confused for a moment before clarity dawns.
He is unable to hide the yearning in his eyes although he tries to mask it with his trademark impassiveness!
"We don't need to talk about it. The decision is yours to take. We will do just what you want!"
"And what if I've decided it's what I want?"
He is unable to hide the joy on his face now.
He makes to take me back into his arms but I stop him.
"What about Glasgow? Is it a lost chance?"
"They were impressed when I gave them my reasons. They thought I was a rather evolved husband. They asked me to let them know again when I am ready!"
I hug him tight.
"My dear husband, I shall remind you of how evolved you are when the baby needs to be walked at midnight or when it needs a diaper change!"
"Anything for you, my dear doctor wife! After all, I will be saving on paediatrician fees with a resident doctor around!"
I mock punch him again before losing myself to his love!
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