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BAKWAAS TIMES
Hard Talk with KTKP CVs
Breaking news on BT : KTKP all set to appoint new CVs
Yes, folks, you heard right! The PH has gone bonkers with the TRPs steadily declining and all the negative criticism and brickbats the show is facing right now on IF... ... they have decided its time for damage control.. And to do this they have decided to sack Bhejagul and infuse some fresh thought in the form of young blood..that's right...folks the KTKP team is gonna appoint new CVs for KTKP. They will also double as assistants to the director, Mr Bhootnath Doframewala... For convenience..let's just call him BD!!!
Okay, now who are these people, you may ask? Are they any good? Are they capable? Can they write a story in a logical fashion? The answer is yes to all the above... They are proven talents, a young, enthusiastic bunch...3 of them.. Who are winners of the all-India story writing contest ..
Ladies and gentlemen..we are proud to present our 3 new CVs... Meet Chipku,10
Golu,8 and
Lovely, 11.
A standing ovation for our new writers. Lets get candid with them and also our exiting CV Bhejagulji about how they are feeling to be part of this team..
DL: Hello hello bacchon..how're you doing? How're you all feeling?
Chipku: I'm very happy... Now whenever I need to miss school I can tell mummy I have to come here to write. Then she's okay with it. I don't have to cook up excuses. She's always drooling over that that Handu uncle. Pappa hates him! He doesn't get his dinner on time because of this show. Mummy wants more Handu uncle and papa wants me to sabotage the script.
Right now I'm playing it smart....I'll go with whoever gives me what I want! I'm getting my list ready. Meanwhile..I can enjoy the fringe benefits here (eyeing Lovely suggestively)
Lovely: (tossing her hair stylishly) Mujhe na fashion ka bahut shauk hai...first thing I'm going to do is change the way everyone dresses. .. It's so boring right now yaar! That Handu uncle always in suits and Munni didi always in those boring outfits!
What I will do is get them married.. Handu uncle to Vampu Aunty and Munni didi to Noodle bhaiyya... Anyway they look more like real Jodis and then Handu uncle and Munni didi can pine for each other wearing something really cool!
Golu: I'm going to change the menu on this show.. Kya thakele dishes hain issme... Methi muthiya, Baingan...yuck!!! I'll have them eat lots of sweets, fast food, pizza! And no more adrak chai either!
DL to AB: Bhejagulji what do you have to say about this drastic act by the PH ?
AB: Arre.. Ye pankhlokne bheja fry kar karke mera waat laga diya re! Abhi ye chintu pintu lokko story likhne de... Phir ye loko samajh mein aayega ke apun kya cheez hai!!
DL: What have you in mind for the story?
Chipku: See, my mummy is a big fan of KTKP, she wants to see only Munni didi and Handu uncle... So I will write scenes only for them. All the other characters can go take a hike! I will send all of them off for a picnic to hanging rock and then they will never come back! Especially that Vampu Aunty and Noodle bhaiyya!
AB: Haayla.. Sabko tapka dega tu?
Chipku: haan... Then we can concentrate only on MuHan romance. One epi can have him playing violin for her and the other epi can have her cooking methi muthiya for him. When that's done, we can have her taking him to the disco and teach him some mean moves, then we can have him teaching her to make bhagara Baingan!
AB: Waah... kya Baat hai( sarcastically)... Ye toh apun ka idea hai..tu khud ka idea laga na!
Chipku: Arre uncle.. if I was in charge of this story na... I would have asked that Handu uncle to grab Munni didi when she went to his house and no one was there... And then kiss her senseless and then do something something to her..that adults do! Par kya karoon..you have made a mess of this story so first I have to correct it before I bring in love scenes!
AB: (looking flabbergasted): Tu love scene likhega?? Aur ye apun ka Bhootnath kya karega? Usko toh love scene direct karneko aata eech nahi hai! Aur chumma kaise dega yaar..apun toh humesha do frame aur BD eech use karta hai!!! Touch toh hota nahi hai Munni aur Handu ke beech!
Chipku: Main bataoon kaise kiss karte hain...(walks upto lovely and grabs her by the waist looks into her eyes) Aye chikni aati kya apun ke saath? (gives her a wink and plants a kiss)
Lovely gives him a tight slap and settles down in her chair...
AB looking nonplussed..
AB: Tu single frame mein scene kiya???... Bina BD ke? Aur isko chumma bhi diya??????? Ye toh apun ko maloom eech nahi tha!
Lovely: Uncle, aapki shaadi hui hai? Bacche hain?
AB: Haayla shaadi nahi hua toh bache kidhar se laoon? 😳
Lovely: Arre uncle.. Bache ke liye shaadi thodi karna padta hai! Itna bhi nahi pata aapko!! Aap kaise love story likhenge phir?
Isliye aapki love story mein dum nahi hai! That hero in your show is a complete bore yaar! I will change the whole story and make Munni didi fall for Noodle bhaiya...he's so cute.. And then I'll write a nice hot love scene for them!
AB: Ae ae.. Shaani... Ye love story Handu aur Munni ka hai..tu ye Noodle ko kaise beech mein layi?
Lovely: I know I know..my mummy is president of Handsome Uncle fan club.. She wants me to dress him up in jeans and leather jacket and make him ride a bike with Munni didi riding with him!
But I'm not going to do that! That Handu uncle will never do it because of his frame problem..so I will write that scene for Noodle bhaiya instead!
AB: Arre kayko?.. Apun ka director hai na..BD..woh ye poora scene Handu ke BD ke saath kar lega!! Woh ekdum export hai issme!!
Golu ( who has been gorging on sweets of all descriptions so far speaking with his mouthful to Lovely): Arre teri mummy handsome uncle fan club ki president hai toh meri mummy muHan ko same frame mein Lao andolan ki leader hai!!! Agar noodle bhaiya ko beech mein layi toh woh mera khana band kar degi! Mere jeete ji main tujhe aisa nahi karne doonga!!! Mujhe toh pehle MuHan ka kitchen scene likhna hai...(licking his lips in anticipation)
Lovely: Accha main bhi dekhti hoon tu kaise mujhe rokta hai!!!
Chipku: (looking longingly at Lovely) Main tere saath hoon jaanu!!!😳Lovely and Chipku gang up against Golu ..
AB: Abbey.. Kidhar se laya ye paplu taplu ko... Mera story ka waat lagarrele hain ye log!!!
DL: Story ki toh waat aapne lagaya hai Bhejagulji! Aapse behtar toh ye bacche story likhenge!!! Aap aur BD Saab na lambe vacation ke liye chale jaiye... Aur hum sab pankhon ki taraf se ye lijiye aapka one way ticket to Mars!
report by DL
Hard Talk with KTKP CVs
Breaking news on BT : KTKP all set to appoint new CVs
Yes, folks, you heard right! The PH has gone bonkers with the TRPs steadily declining and all the negative criticism and brickbats the show is facing right now on IF... ... they have decided its time for damage control.. And to do this they have decided to sack Bhejagul and infuse some fresh thought in the form of young blood..that's right...folks the KTKP team is gonna appoint new CVs for KTKP. They will also double as assistants to the director, Mr Bhootnath Doframewala... For convenience..let's just call him BD!!!
Okay, now who are these people, you may ask? Are they any good? Are they capable? Can they write a story in a logical fashion? The answer is yes to all the above... They are proven talents, a young, enthusiastic bunch...3 of them.. Who are winners of the all-India story writing contest ..
Ladies and gentlemen..we are proud to present our 3 new CVs... Meet Chipku,10
Golu,8 and
Lovely, 11.
A standing ovation for our new writers. Lets get candid with them and also our exiting CV Bhejagulji about how they are feeling to be part of this team..
DL: Hello hello bacchon..how're you doing? How're you all feeling?
Chipku: I'm very happy... Now whenever I need to miss school I can tell mummy I have to come here to write. Then she's okay with it. I don't have to cook up excuses. She's always drooling over that that Handu uncle. Pappa hates him! He doesn't get his dinner on time because of this show. Mummy wants more Handu uncle and papa wants me to sabotage the script.
Right now I'm playing it smart....I'll go with whoever gives me what I want! I'm getting my list ready. Meanwhile..I can enjoy the fringe benefits here (eyeing Lovely suggestively)
Lovely: (tossing her hair stylishly) Mujhe na fashion ka bahut shauk hai...first thing I'm going to do is change the way everyone dresses. .. It's so boring right now yaar! That Handu uncle always in suits and Munni didi always in those boring outfits!
What I will do is get them married.. Handu uncle to Vampu Aunty and Munni didi to Noodle bhaiyya... Anyway they look more like real Jodis and then Handu uncle and Munni didi can pine for each other wearing something really cool!
Golu: I'm going to change the menu on this show.. Kya thakele dishes hain issme... Methi muthiya, Baingan...yuck!!! I'll have them eat lots of sweets, fast food, pizza! And no more adrak chai either!
DL to AB: Bhejagulji what do you have to say about this drastic act by the PH ?
AB: Arre.. Ye pankhlokne bheja fry kar karke mera waat laga diya re! Abhi ye chintu pintu lokko story likhne de... Phir ye loko samajh mein aayega ke apun kya cheez hai!!
DL: What have you in mind for the story?
Chipku: See, my mummy is a big fan of KTKP, she wants to see only Munni didi and Handu uncle... So I will write scenes only for them. All the other characters can go take a hike! I will send all of them off for a picnic to hanging rock and then they will never come back! Especially that Vampu Aunty and Noodle bhaiyya!
AB: Haayla.. Sabko tapka dega tu?
Chipku: haan... Then we can concentrate only on MuHan romance. One epi can have him playing violin for her and the other epi can have her cooking methi muthiya for him. When that's done, we can have her taking him to the disco and teach him some mean moves, then we can have him teaching her to make bhagara Baingan!
AB: Waah... kya Baat hai( sarcastically)... Ye toh apun ka idea hai..tu khud ka idea laga na!
Chipku: Arre uncle.. if I was in charge of this story na... I would have asked that Handu uncle to grab Munni didi when she went to his house and no one was there... And then kiss her senseless and then do something something to her..that adults do! Par kya karoon..you have made a mess of this story so first I have to correct it before I bring in love scenes!
AB: (looking flabbergasted): Tu love scene likhega?? Aur ye apun ka Bhootnath kya karega? Usko toh love scene direct karneko aata eech nahi hai! Aur chumma kaise dega yaar..apun toh humesha do frame aur BD eech use karta hai!!! Touch toh hota nahi hai Munni aur Handu ke beech!
Chipku: Main bataoon kaise kiss karte hain...(walks upto lovely and grabs her by the waist looks into her eyes) Aye chikni aati kya apun ke saath? (gives her a wink and plants a kiss)
Lovely gives him a tight slap and settles down in her chair...
AB looking nonplussed..
AB: Tu single frame mein scene kiya???... Bina BD ke? Aur isko chumma bhi diya??????? Ye toh apun ko maloom eech nahi tha!
Lovely: Uncle, aapki shaadi hui hai? Bacche hain?
AB: Haayla shaadi nahi hua toh bache kidhar se laoon? 😳
Lovely: Arre uncle.. Bache ke liye shaadi thodi karna padta hai! Itna bhi nahi pata aapko!! Aap kaise love story likhenge phir?
Isliye aapki love story mein dum nahi hai! That hero in your show is a complete bore yaar! I will change the whole story and make Munni didi fall for Noodle bhaiya...he's so cute.. And then I'll write a nice hot love scene for them!
AB: Ae ae.. Shaani... Ye love story Handu aur Munni ka hai..tu ye Noodle ko kaise beech mein layi?
Lovely: I know I know..my mummy is president of Handsome Uncle fan club.. She wants me to dress him up in jeans and leather jacket and make him ride a bike with Munni didi riding with him!
But I'm not going to do that! That Handu uncle will never do it because of his frame problem..so I will write that scene for Noodle bhaiya instead!
AB: Arre kayko?.. Apun ka director hai na..BD..woh ye poora scene Handu ke BD ke saath kar lega!! Woh ekdum export hai issme!!
Golu ( who has been gorging on sweets of all descriptions so far speaking with his mouthful to Lovely): Arre teri mummy handsome uncle fan club ki president hai toh meri mummy muHan ko same frame mein Lao andolan ki leader hai!!! Agar noodle bhaiya ko beech mein layi toh woh mera khana band kar degi! Mere jeete ji main tujhe aisa nahi karne doonga!!! Mujhe toh pehle MuHan ka kitchen scene likhna hai...(licking his lips in anticipation)
Lovely: Accha main bhi dekhti hoon tu kaise mujhe rokta hai!!!
Chipku: (looking longingly at Lovely) Main tere saath hoon jaanu!!!😳Lovely and Chipku gang up against Golu ..
AB: Abbey.. Kidhar se laya ye paplu taplu ko... Mera story ka waat lagarrele hain ye log!!!
DL: Story ki toh waat aapne lagaya hai Bhejagulji! Aapse behtar toh ye bacche story likhenge!!! Aap aur BD Saab na lambe vacation ke liye chale jaiye... Aur hum sab pankhon ki taraf se ye lijiye aapka one way ticket to Mars!
report by DL
Book Talk
Anupamaa
