This is fabulous understanding by MB.. He has truly delved deep into Ashu's psyche... into what makes him tick and what doesn't...š
My own two bits..
For Ashu to truly accept Nidhi's love, first he has to believe himself as capable of being loved and to do that he has to love himself... From the turmoil he's been through since his childhood, it seems he's struggling hard to do so. He's in a self-induced comfort zone as far as relationships are concerned and doesn't want to break out of the mould... It explains his equation with Mallika...
Although she professes to love him, he doesn't want to go there cos of several reasons...
Fear of eventual rejection stemming from baba's leaving him in the lurch, lack of belief or faith that he can be unconditionally loved... Again possibly coming from baba's supposed indifference to him and his own disinterest in pursuing a romantic relationship with Mallika..
But considering his age, it's hard to believe that he never felt attraction or even love for any woman before he met Nidhi..
I think all of his complexity definitely lies in his relationship with baba, the one person he truly loved who left him bleeding... His heart wounded beyond repair and all the questions why,.. Still unanswered...
Without a rational and reasonable explanation for baba's desertion, Ashu comes to the only conclusion that makes sense to him.. He is not worthy of being loved.. And this possibly explains the emotional distance he keeps with all those close to him.. His apparent lack of outward affection, even indifference for the people in his life is quite likely exactly that, apparent... Because we know him as a man capable of extreme feeling... He has closed up as a defense, a protection mechanism to guard himself from hurt and that is okay.
I really need to understand his hatred for the girl who inherited the house. Agreed... The house is the only stability he has known and it's natural he pursue it with a vengeance. He hates the girl who inherited it because he cannot hate baba for doing this to him... He has to only feel gratitude to baba, since he has been the instrument for his existence, his survival and his progress.. But..but... Again we enter into a vicious loop here as far as Ashu's characterisation is concerned..
1. He channelises his hurt and disappointment as hate towards the unknown girl who inherited the house... Because he cannot hate his baba whom he feels indebted to.
2. He assumes it's his right to have the house.. How and why? Why can't he respect baba's wishes and leave well enough alone? When baba has left him so much more... Why can't he be happy with that and stop chasing the house? After all, he still has enough to be indebted to him for... Isn't he kind of taking baba for granted.. Wherein he has no reason for doing so and it contradicts the gratitude, the debt he feels for him? It's almost like a paradox..
The problem seems to lie in the fact that Ashu has never really loved anyone before.. His love for baba is mixed with gratitude and that is not a healthy, carefree love... He's under pressure to love him...
Whereas with Nidhi, he's found the unconditional kind of love for the first time. He is too wrapped up in himself to consider what she's feeling because he himself does not believe that such a kind of love can exist maybe. He accepts that she loves him, yet is quick to jump the gun when she doesn't show up at the house.. If she had stood him up elsewhere, would he have behaved the same way? Don't know, probably not...
Ashu really needs to re-examine his feelings about the house and baba. He has to understand and respect baba's wishes for the house and let go. From the last synopsis it doesn't seem like Ashu has done that yet... He has let go of his hatred for Nidhi, but hasn't yet given up on the house.
As far as Nidhi is concerned we again come back to Ashu's basic problem... The inability to believe that he can truly be loved for what he is..cos he doesn't seem to think much of himself. So how will a girl, and a young, beautiful one at that think the world of him? I'm guessing it's gonna take a lot more effort, meaning a lot more heartache for Nidhi to convince Ashu of her love..
As for the initial kuch toh log kahenge bit that we saw Ashu's first reaction of the realisation of his love pondering on... That bit seems to have buried itself in a plethora of other what have yous...
1. Does Ashu really love Nidhi?
2. Does he even understand what true, unconditional love(minus gratitude) is?
3. He seems awkward, embarrassed, clueless around her.. How then can this be love? Where is the comfort quotient?
4. Also it's hard to understand their distance from each other? where is the physical expression of love?
5. Does Nidhi really love Ashu? Why does she love him? What did she see in him that she's ready to give up everything for him?
If we examine Nidhi's character, she seems less complex than Ashu on the surface... But we forget that she too has grown up without a stabilising influence.. Her mother. But yet she comes across and strong and stable, unaffected by her past tragedies because of the love she was given by others in her life.
If and if she is going to be the stronger and stabler partner in this relationship, she has her homework cut out for her.
Like Ashu says.. The 3 most important things in his life are
baba, the house and Nidhi
He loved baba, and baba left him
he loved the house, and the house was taken from him
In both cases, it's baba who's responsible.. Baba who decided to leave and baba who decided to give the house to someone else.. He needs to transfer his obsession of the house to an understanding of baba's motivations to have done what he did...and not confuse Nidhi with the whole issue and live his whole life feeling like everyone will treat him like one man did...
This one man seems to have given him his life as well as taken it away from him... Let him not gauge everyone based on this one man... Let him learn to let go like he did on Fri and let him learn to connect with himself first.. Ashu... The destitute child, the survivor, the dependent, but the fighter,.. Because after all baba was just a facilitator for him...gave him a home and family and education... It was Ashu himself who made his own life... Let him not forget that... And move on..
Let him fill that emotional vacuum with Nidhi's love.
Sorry for just rambling on.. but MB truly opened up this beautifullly complex character for me!!
Edited by LizzieBennett - 13 years ago
Kyunki Saas Bhi Kabhi Bahu Thi 2
