Understanding Sonakshi

I usually don't post in the main forum, but seeing the other posts there felt that I should write this post here. Lot of times some of the writers here have helped me understand the "why of Sonakshi at times. This is my small attempt to shed light in the current track and maybe lessen some of the displeasure towards it. This post is not a biased view. This is from viewing the Sonakshi from her viewpoint and from others pov and considering the events from both the perspective.

The way season 2 is being portrayed, it is about bringing Sonakshi and her character to the fore. In season 1, Dev and Ishwari's character were displayed and highlighted in the obvious manner most of the times. In this season, Sonakshi and Bijoy's character along with their relationship is being brought to the fore. If Ishwari was the root cause of how Dev was and his actions, Bijoy is the center of Sonakshi's actions. Dev and Sonakshi are not different, both are very much the same. Dev got manipulated by Ishwari through emotional demands and Sonakshi till now is manipulated by Bijoy through demands of her being "independent and "strong. I am not saying that there is something wrong with being independent and strong. What I am saying is being independent and strong doesn't really mean that one doesn't need anybody. Humans are social animals. You need people in your life. Sonakshi may be surrounded by people and family, yet she is "lonely. And it is not after the initial breakup or even the breakup in the farmhouse. She has been lonely for a very long time even before she fell in love with Dev.

Dev had to struggle to bring his family out of poverty, to give them that safety that they will never be without food, shelter or clothing. Sonakshi might not have had to struggle to achieve this before the breakup. But the way Bijoy had positioned her is to be "too responsible for everyone around her. He made her kind of head of the family and told her that they will go by her decisions. Thereby Sonakshi stopped thinking about herself or what she wants. When Dev got her fired from her job, she worries what will happen to her family. She had option to accept job from small hospitals, but could not choose them as the salary package was low and she couldn't afford to take care of Bose family without it. None of the Bose family members were aware of this fact. Even Saurabh was not aware of it until Sonakshi confesses that she was waiting for him to be that safety net, so that she can think what she wants while giving him the money to go to his interview. She "chose to accept Dev's job offer after Saurabh points to the son's perspective, of Dev's helplessness against an unreasonable and stubborn parent. Taking Dev's job offer was the first "choice she makes for herself. She struggles initially with her choice, but once that growing pains is over, she starts to enjoy and love her job. This is even before she fell in love with Dev. Hence when the other guy offers her a job with better pay and perks in the party @ ministers house, she refuses saying that she has made a commitment towards a "special patient and for her the trust of that family was more important.

When she fell in love with Dev, it was like a dream come true for her. Her innermost dream of romance and adventure, her dream of fairy tales and princesses came to life. But she was scared to follow that dream. She felt that if she "chose that path, she would be "choosing the unknown, where one doesn't know the challenges they might have face or what is in store for them. There is no clear "yes or "no
goal in this scenario. She "chose the path of least resistance, the one that Bijoy mentioned on Friday's episode -- "yeh abhi ka thoda sa dukh zindagi barki taqleef sey toh acchha hi hain". Here her fear was that of the "fear of rejection. The "what if Dev says no scenario. She thought that she would cry herself for some time, but then will be able to overcome the pain once the engagement is over.

She had not expected Dev to come and say that he loves her and that she was his "choice for life partner. She accepted Dev's "choice as she got happiness. But then the breakup in hospital happened. That breakup was a rude awakening for Sonakshi, it was like waking up from a dream for her, something she had always feared when she did not reveal that she loved him happen. At that time what she needed was support and guidance from Bijoy, for him to tell her it was ok and give her that confidence and courage to dust off and try again to achieve her dream. Instead what she got was the other version of the dialogue -- "yeh abhi ka thoda sa dukh zindagi barki taqleef sey toh acchha hi hain". That she was "strong and "independent and didn't need anyone. That she should rise above such petty things and only focus on achieving greatness that he dreamt for her. Sonakshi felt that her father was right. That dreams are for fools. She had seen Saurabh being taunted and made fun of for his failures by her father. She did not want the same for herself. She wanted Bijoy to love and respect her. She went with his advice. Shelved her dreams and accepted his "choice Ritwick.

When she saw Dev fall down during her engagement, her heart couldn't take it anymore. It just gathered courage and did what it felt right. But once she had done that and realized what she had done, her guilt of having hurt her baba came back to her and she wanted to doubly work hard to restore her baba's respect for her. But her resolve was slightly weakened when Ishwari came to beg her to marry Dev. Here too she did not "choose Dev. She "choose her baba's self-respect, his pride. The way Sonakshi saw was when Bijoy went to IN to talk about Dev and Sonakshi's marriage, his pride was insulted. But now that Ishwari herself apologized for not accepting the proposal earlier and was begging now, it validated Bijoy's upbringing and pride that is Sonakshi. She felt that she is now restored in Bijoy's eyes. But as soon as she came to know that Ishwari's approval was not really of her, that Ishwari had simply given in to her son's "choice, she became frustrated. She set out to restore her baba's pride in real sense. She felt that if Ishwari acknowledged her as her DIL and accepted her, then she would be fulfilling his ream of seeing her "independent and "strong. During the whole marriage phase, she refused to lean on Dev at any time and tried to take the path of least resistance, something that Bijoy had given her to understand. What she did not account for here was how others saw her efforts. That the other members of Dixit family had a mind of their own and had their own "choices.

Even the breakup from marriage was to be that person whom Bijoy wanted her to be. Every time Bijoy questioned about something she did voluntarily, but was not something she did before the marriage, something that Bijoy was not aware she liked or had thought she disliked, she "chose to not disclose the truth. She kept striving hard to hide the facts from Bijoy. Hence she never really acknowledged that Dev was her "choice that he made her happy in front of Bijoy. Just like how she couldn't reveal her fear of darkness or her wanting that fairytale romance and adventure to Bijoy. For Bijoy these are not practical. From his perspective fairytales are not real, hence anything said in them are not worth anything. There is no reality in prince charming or the usual quests described as being fulfilled by them. What I mean is he doesn't think that it made sense for the prince to search for the maiden whose feet fit the glass slippers her had when he had spent just a couple of hours with her. Or the prince whose fought the dragon and the thick forest that surrounded the castle of sleeping beauty. All of these are not practical for him. I remember reading that the maker of "nirma washing powder first did door to door sales before it became one of the most used household items. Bijoy is a person who doesn't believe this kind of effort is worth it. From his perspective, this owner/maker of that washing powder should have just went with the safe option than putting himself through everything that goes with door to door selling. There is no guarantee that the product will take off or the quantity you will sell in a day. In other words "risk is unwanted in a person's life. Why take the path where there are uncertainties. Why not chose something "safe like a desk job or teaching or something like that where you will not have to deal with unknowns. This path of least resistance is what he wants for Sonakshi and thinks it is foolish of her to want Dev or that romantic life.

After the breakup in the farmhouse, Sonakshi firmly believes that her father is right. That the adventure of romance is not for her. There is nothing to be gained by following ones dream. Hence she is choosing to run away from her inner dreams and desires, avoiding to listen to her heart. The first inclination she got that her heart may want more than the "friendship with Dev, she came to Dev to convince him to marry someone else, to "choose a different person. But for Dev, Sonakshi is his only "choice. Unlike Bijoy what Ishwari has taught Dev is "eh thodi si udaasi hi teri mamma ko na jeevan bar ki kushiya de jayegi. In other words she has given him to understand "no pain, no gain. That is the reason why even though he didn't know if Sonakshi would accept his love or not, he cancelled his engagement with Natasha. Even though he didn't know when his mother might approve of Sonakshi or she might never be ok with Sonakshi being part of his life, he "choose to continue loving Sonakshi. She is his only "choice always and never an "option. But what he has started to feel hurt is by the fact that he is still an "option for her.

With this engagement drama, Dev is asking Sonakshi to "choose him and not keep him as an "option any longer. He is trying to tell her "please don't make me an option this time. Instead make me your "choice. Unless you give me that right, there is very little I can do. But if you make me your choice, I can move mountains. What you are thinking as impossible now is not only possible, but we can achieve it together. Just acknowledge your inner you. Know that you are this awesome, amazing person of the most beautiful soul I have ever met. Don't do what you did last time. Give me a chance to prove myself. Unless you are ready to claim me as yours, my hands are tied. I cannot do anything by myself unless you accept me as part of your life. That I am not a stranger. That I mean someone to you. And all she needs to say is you are someone for me, I don't want to be a stranger to you, that's all. Dev will then move heaven and earth for her.

This is my attempt to show Sonakshi from all different angles and not from just what is highlighted. It is about all those, nonverbal, subtle clues and how the other perceives her and why they do so. Thoughts/feedback/questions welcome.