Fault of a father ?!

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Deepa

@deepsel

Rocker

+ 3

Posted: 8 years ago

Looks like KRPKAB is again charming its way back with some cute Devakshi moments. Absolutely delightful to watch these two behaving like humans though growth is still a long way to go😆. I know by now each Devakshi scene would have been dissected to pieces and I savor all your enjoyment here silently😆

But my today's post is for one of the most hated character in forum even over Ishwari : Bijoy Bose. No doubt his kiddish tantrums and screaming do test my patience sometimes but today I had a different feeling. My heart went consoling him. He does have his fair share of mistakes but what major crime he did to be humiliated in such a way by his own family just for being an over protective father?.

Putting myself in Bijoy's shoes, his plight and fear is unfathomable !! A girl child who is an apple of his eye brought up with so much love and care, finally when falls in love with a guy having a troubled past and present in the name of mother, like every father Bijoy had his doubts . Yet he went ahead with the marriage for fulfilling his princess's wish savoring innumerable insults. But when a father sees his beloved strong daughter all torn brutally by the same man she loved immensely, his heart bled and he picked up those pieces and made her up again with the vow that he won't leave his daughter again to be torn by the same man and family ! So everytime he spewed venom on Dev and Dixits, I understood the pain of a father.

Now when Sona left to Dixit house even without a courtesy bye, he kept quiet because he wanted to honor the agreement made by his daughter but when she single handedly took the decision of extending her stay that too in Bijoy's absence, his natural fear of his daughter being emotionally held captive is bound to kick in !! Which father want to see his daughter going through the same horrible past and sufferings again? I am not justifying Bijoy's actions but how his family treated him after his arrival was totally unacceptable. Even Dev was courteous reading his Ex-FIL's mindset offering him some solace with surprise.

Neither Sona nor his family members ever sat and spoke with Bijoy about the dynamic changes in their relationship to diminish his fear, so expecting him to read their minds amidst of all their secrets and lies when he is still reeling with those 7 years of haunting past is brutal from the Boses. I agree kids do grow up to take their own decision but I also know no matter how old I grow, I am still the same chubby little kid to my father and its my responsibility to make him at ease instead of provoking with my decisions for my own selfish reasons!

So Sona and Saurabh before you point fingers at Bijoy, make sure all your other 4 fingers are not pointing at you !!

P.S:

I know this post might have come as a surprise to all of you but am extremely close to my father and this Bose ganging up on Bijoy struck a chord with me and thought of letting it out here😳

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Frequent Posters

JShukla

@JShukla

Inactive

Posted: 8 years ago

LOVED... your post today Deepa.

I have always loved Bijoy with his idiosyncrasies and quirks.

He is the kind of father I wanted my father to be when my sister had issues with her in-laws. I am slowly begining to feel if Saurab, Asha have some kind of grudge from the past against Bijoy.

I now wish he relaxes and calms down. don't want to see him go down with BP because of the stress.

Hope at least Sona sits down with him and explains the changing dynamics and how she is making decisions herself.

I'd also want dev to tone down and behave better. He can take Sona's example.. just like Sona behaves courteously with ishwari/Radha , Dev can start doing that with Bijoy.

Edited by JShukla - 8 years ago

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Snehavinaya

@Snehavinaya

Explorer

Posted: 8 years ago

I agree with you. But , to some extent, he also failed to understand his daughter.
Considering soha - she also needs a father's love.
How can he deny that?
Maybe I am old school- when it comes to children, no ego there- it only should be us-
I know sona is independent & can take care of herself/ soha/ family.
If that would have been enough- then soha would have not craved for Dev.

From the people, I have learnt this-
So many couples reconcile for their children-
There is no ego there.
Here, Dev & sona love each other- love soha above everything.
Dev is not a bad person- he loves her to the core-
He is a good father-
Bijoy cannot ignore these things about Dev.
Why is that they are showing this too much difficult?
Why everybody plotting against 2 beautiful souls - not to be together again?
In real life is it too difficult?
Aren't all of us doing some form of compromise in our lives?
Why can't these two do some adjustments for Soha 's sake ?
Nobody gets to live a fairytale- so why not make most of what u get ?
Seriously, I don't understand what sona is waiting for ?
Living alone has not given her any peace nor her family- so why not dev ?
They can live together & see- away from both parents-
If they are compatible or not.
Sorry for my rant!!

Edited by Snehavinaya - 8 years ago

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RUQAIYA10

@RUQAIYA10

Voyager

Posted: 8 years ago

Being a Daddy's girl, I understand why Bijoy does what he does and the emotions he is going through. You are absolutely right to point out that he is still oblivious to the changing dynamics between Dev and Sona. I agree its getting incredibly irritating to see him constantly yelling but that's how Bijoy is. He always was short tempered. Asha is the calm and composed one.

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404_NotFound

@404_NotFound

Sparkler

+ 7

Posted: 8 years ago

I am sorry Deepa I couldn't agree with you here .

What I saw today was not just a concerned father but a egoistic man who wanted to settle scores with Ishwari Dixit .The moment he heard her name he did not want her to win .If he was just a concerned father he would have spoken to his Sona over phone and understood her PoV .If he was only a concerned father he would not have decided to take Soha away from her mother to Kolkatta.At that time all he wanted was keeping Soha away from Dev and it did not matter to him that his beloved daughter would suffer as well .Truth is he was never able to understand his daughter nor was able to accept his daughter's flaws .

If he was treated badly today by his family members then it's only because of his own doings.He is losing respect everyday in his family members eyes because of his impulsiveness and his nature of creating scene without giving a thought to other feelings .

Did he really follow the rules ?When Soha was sick he broke the rule as it suited him and there again he was ready to create a scene by yelling .None of his talks made sense that day .Do you really think anyone would appreciate unwanted drama when they have a sick child at home .There is a time for everything and yelling and creating scene at every instance will not help his daughter.

Saurabh was not wrong today and he has been ridiculed,humiliated by his father all his life.Bijoy did not leave any chance to create a scene even in his wedding .Has. Only ever treated Saurabh fairly ?

The truth is Devakshi stay in Dixit house was far more peaceful than their stay in Bose house .Bijoy never left a chance to play Dev vs me during their one week stay and how did that help his daughter or granddaughter .Ishwari was sane today and she has learnt her lesson after losing her son hope Bijoy realizes before it's too late .

Edited by yyyy - 8 years ago

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gmgi

@gmgi

Rocker

Posted: 8 years ago

Beautiful post Deeps. I loved what you wrote and agree too to some extend. But Bijoy had this coming for a long time. Each time he made Saurabh believe that he was not good enough or worthy to be treated with respect even with whatever honourable goals he had in his mind. Parents also grow with their kids. Once they reach marriageable age they will be more like friends or guides. You allow them to make their own mistakes but assure them that you will be there for them no matter what. It gives the courage to the kids to go out in this world with confidence that someone had their back. You allow them to fight their own battles because you won't be there to protect them everytime. Parents are like those trees whose shade allows us to take rest and revive from all our problems. But you can't sit in the shade forever. Bijoy was all these in S1 for Sona. But somewhere along the line he lost his objectivity.

He made his selfrespect above his daughter's happiness and future. I am not taking lightly the insults he suffered at their hands. But when the Dixits made Sona's life hell, instead of being there for her he added to her burdens.She was emotionally a mess during the infertility track. But just like Ishwari made it about her pain, Bijoy made it about his respect and insult. The priority was not Dev nor Sona for both Ishwari and Bijoy but they themselves.

If the Boses are keeping things from him, we have also to ask why? It was not like this before. So what made them do it? It is time Bijoy ask this himself. Saurabh is in that state of transition. He was always looked upon as a good for nothing son. I have never seen him saying that he is proud of his son and mean it. Now he is also a husband. He won't like getting insulted infront of his wife and inlaws like before. He will be forced to take a stand here. I am not defending Saurabh for saying all these to his Baba. But I would definitely applaud both Asha and Bijoy for their upbringing which enabled their son to take a stand in front of his father when he thought his father was wrong and say it to his face without fear.

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dhank

@dhank

Dazzler

Posted: 8 years ago

I understand bijoys concern for sona

but d way saourabh reacted was not for that...but 4 how he always favoured sona n never allowed her or rather saurab 4 decision making...IMO

so basically saurabhs daba hua emotions of bijoy favoring sona always r coming out now

Edited by dhank - 8 years ago

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diksha710

@diksha710

Dazzler

+ 7

Posted: 8 years ago

Originally posted by: yyy
I am sorry Deepa I couldn't agree with you here .

What I saw today was not just a concerned father but a egoistic man who wanted to settle scores with Ishwari Dixit .The moment he heard her name he did not want her to win .If he was just a concerned father he would have spoken to his Sona over phone and understood her PoV .If he was only a concerned father he would not have decided to take Soha away from her mother to Kolkatta.At that time all he wanted was keeping Soha away from Dev and it did not matter to him that his beloved daughter would suffer as well .Truth is he was never able to understand his daughter nor was able to accept his daughter's flaws .

If he was treated badly today by his family members then it's only because of his own doings.He is losing respect everyday in his family members eyes because of his impulsiveness and his nature of creating scene without giving a thought to other feelings .

Did he really follow the rules ?When Soha was sick he broke the rule as it suited him and there again he was ready to create a scene by yelling .None of his talks made sense that day .Do you really think anyone would appreciate unwanted drama when they have a sick child at home .There is a time for everything and yelling and creating scene at every instance will not help his daughter.

Saurabh was not wrong today and he has been ridiculed,humiliated by his father all his life.Bijoy did not leave any chance to create a scene even in his wedding .Has. Only ever treated Saurabh fairly ?

The truth is Devakshi stay in Dixit house was far more peaceful than their stay in Bose house .Bijoy never left a chance to play Dev vs me during their one week stay and how did that help his daughter or granddaughter .Ishwari was sane today and she has learnt her lesson after losing her son hope Bijoy realizes before it's too late .

Brilliant post 👏

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Jyoti Thakur

@JyotiBThakur

Sparkler

+ 5

Posted: 8 years ago

Thanks for this post Deeps. Even i am the closest to my father. He mean the world to me and same is the case with him too. He cannot see me even in the slightest of the pain.

But there are some of the things i disagree upon. Let me point them out to you. I don't think the Boses ganged up against Bijoy. No... Asha wanted to accompany Bijoy, knowing his impulsive nature and the anger in him. What Saurabh said was way too harsh and i really felt bad for Bijoy Bose. Yes he is impulsive, yes he is way too harsh with his words. But he loves his daughter way too much. Coming to Sona, she was not at fault in my opinion. She didn't raise her voice. She was calm and tried to make her father understand very calmly. Sona has explained Bijoy everything, the day Dev entered the Bose house for Suhana. Saurabh was way too harsh, but it's true that Bijoy always wanted his children to take the decision he wanted them to take. But nobody can deny that he eventually agree on his children's final decisions (But it was the case with Sona most of the times, with Saurabh that was not the case and may be that has build this anger in Saurabh.)

And for Sona pointing finger at Bijoy, i guess Bijoy too pointed out finger at her yesterday. And for Sona, i don't think she ever pointed a finger at her father.

All said and done i do understand Bijoy's fear. I do understand his actions and he cannot be blamed for that. As he would never want Sona to go through the same pain again. And i also believe that he would not have gone that berserk, if Ishwari Dixit was not there. With Ishwari Dixit in the picture, he's very well aware that his daughter will not be at peace in the mad house. Don't know why i always feel that Bijoy still has a soft corner for Dev but not for Ishwari Dixit, as he is aware of the actual reason of DevAkshi separation.

I actually liked that scene between Bijoy and Dev yesterday. The 1st week stay in Bose house has actually changed them a lot. I am looking forward for more change in the equation between them during the next stay.

Edited by JyotiBThakur - 8 years ago

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JShukla

@JShukla

Inactive

Posted: 8 years ago

#10

Originally posted by: dhank
I understand bijoys concern for sona

but d way saourabh reacted was not for that...but 4 how he always favoured sona n never allowed her or rather saurab 4 decision making...IMO

so basically saurabhs daba hua emotions of bijoy favoring sona always r coming out now

Yup.. I guess you have a point there. May be both Saurab and Asha's grudges of the ast against Bijoy are coming to fore. I always felt Asha looks kinda of annoyed with Bijoy perpetually.

Being a wife for a few months now, I realise its a huge thing when you allow someone else to insult your husband. She has allowed both Dev and Sourav to do that and when Sona was applauding her father she cut her and made her see another side of Bijoy.

Edited by JShukla - 8 years ago

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