NOTE: - Dedicated to @Gaurimisha since she helped me. The lyrics written below are of song Aahatein' from the movie Ek Main Aur Ek Tu.'
|| Chapter I ||
"Sab kuchh wahi hai, par kuchh kami hai... Teri aahatein nahi hai."
-~-~-~-
That Sunday, Ishwari Niwaas was in its normal mood. And 'normal' here means, cheerfully festive and vibrant. As the mansion had long forgotten what it felt to have silence and sorrow reside in it, after getting used to listening to noise, banter and laughter everyday for three months. And did it love that sound? You bet it did!
'Rapchik Ravivaar', as named by Mamaji, was being celebrated by the famous ludo matches. Elena and Mamaji were one team and Soha and Golu were the other.
However, today was different. For the male cheerleaders-cum-helpers with cheating, PK and DK were on a day-off. Radharani's comments in her God-awful English were being missed as she was busy nursing a sick Ishwari. And of course, the permanent player on Soha's side, aka Dev Dixit, was busy being oddly mysterious and excited that day, much to their apprehension.
The man in question was approaching his ex-wife who sat on the couch, happily working on her laptop and occasionally cheering for Soha and Golu.
"Sona?" He called softly from behind.
Sonakshi turned to look at him and from her sight, she looked taken aback. It took Dev a moment to understand it and when he did, he quickly corrected himself, "Uh, I mean, Sonakshi. Can you spare a little moment for me to show you something?" He asked to which she nodded.
Pretending to ignore the surreptitious stares full of suspicion he was getting from his nephew and daughter, he sat beside Sonakshi and opened the notepad he was holding for her to see.
Sona looked at the title 'Soha's birthday plans' written in block letters. There was a long list of gifts, programs, etc. written beneath.
"Yeh Kya hai?" She asked.
"Shhh!" Dev, being his cheeky self, kept a finger on his lips deliberately to annoy the kids watching the duo with interest and continued in whisper, "These are the plans to celebrate Soha's birthday. You see, it's Soha's first birthday that she is going to celebrate with me. Remember how we had made plans to celebrate the first birthday of our child?"
"I do." Sonakshi spoke with a bittersweet smile adoring her face as she continued to look at her ex-husband who was grinning ear to ear.
"Yes, that's how I will celebrate it. I would not let a moment to waste. I would make this birthday of hers, the best she ever had!" Dev spoke, ignoring his surroundings, in a rapid blabbering tone, "Elena has decided to make a scrapbook of the moments we have spent till now. Golu and their school friends have prepared a common surprise. My dear sisters are also coming so they have offered to take care of the food, along with Ma of course. This is the list of gifts. Vicky and the elders, I don't know of. I have made preparations for the decorations and I confirmed the theme with your mother. My guest list is also ready. You can add yours. Wait, I think we can also have magic shows or other stuff... Do you think Soha would like it? Or maybe she would like rides and outdoor fun? Oh, and I have my surprise ready and you can have too, but they better not clash with mine, otherwise you'd have to cancel them. Sorry." He said with an unapologetic shrug.
"I think..." Sona started to speak...
"Wait..." Dev cut her off, "What was I saying? Oh, yeah so Ma is going to make Soha's favorite dishes and Halwa but I want to make her favorite non-veg dish too. What was its name, again? Mori... Moro ghanta??"
"Muri Ghonto." Sona corrected him as a bubble of laughter escaped her.
"Haan wahi. Tum Bengalis bhi ajeeb hi naam rakhte ho." Dev said.
Choosing to ignore that comment, Sona asked in disbelief, "Are you really going to bring non-veg food in this house?"
"Not in this house." Dev said, "It would be cooked outside and served outside too. But I will make it. Vaise bhi, Tumhare liye bhi allowed karwa diya tha.. And this time it's about Soha. And you know Soha ke liye kuchh bhi." He spoke, an earnest look adorning his face.
Sonakshi smiled. Dev might not fit the description of a friend to her, but, if anything, she loved the fact that Dev was striving to become a better father, or so she had perceived at least. Oh, but family was the whole world for him, and no one knew that better than her.
"Where are you lost?" Dev asked, waving a hand in front of her face.
"Uh- it's nothing. By the way..." Sonakshi's next words were interrupted by the noise on stairs. They turned to find Ishwari walking towards the kitchen in a hurry. Dev followed her worriedly.
"Ma, what are you doing in the kitchen when you should be resting?" Dev asked once he was standing beside her. When she didn't respond, he snatched the vessel she was holding and turned her so she could face him.
Ishwari pouted. "Dev, poora din toh lakdi ke jaise bistar par padi rahi hoon. Ab bas! Mujhe jitna aaram karna tha, maine kar liya. Mujhe meri poti ke liye khana banana hai bhai!" Ishwari argued in the tone of a small kid, much to Dev's amusement, "Aur vaise bhi, tu toh jaanta hai ki Soha har Sunday mere haath ka halwa khaati hi hai."
Dev chuckles and gives her the vessel back, shaking his head at her nakhre. "Tu na ek dum bacchon ki tarah ziddi hai. Fine, you have your way. But once you make the halwa and feed her, you are going to bed." He told her sternly.
Ishwari at once beamed at him and said, "Fine. I'd do as you say."
"I am sorry to interrupt here." Dev and Ishwari turned behind, to find Sona standing at the entrance of the kitchen. Ishwari frowned.
"But," Sona continued, "I don't think you should be out of bed right now, Auntyji. I had a little talk with your doctor this morning and he has advised strict rest. You have been ill for a while now; still you make food every day. But, there is no need. If you just completely rest for a few days, you would be fine. The doctor said that you have shown improvement, but you should not negate it by working and getting sick again. It's time we stop this old cycle, don't you think?" Sonkashi suggested, "And if you want to spend time with Soha, I would send her to your room at night and you can tell her stories."
She looked at Ishwari in anticipation.
"I can't say you are wrong in what you said." Ishwari spoke with a sigh, "But you don't need to worry about me. I think I am better and besides, you aren't my nutrition anymore, Sonakshi."
"I do know that and I am not commanding you. But, I don't think that necessarily means that I shouldn't care." Said Sonakshi, "All I am saying is that these tasks aren't necessary for you to do. You shouldn't give yourself any trouble by doing every little thing for Soha. Every day for months now, you have been cooking for her, feeding her, arranging her things and so on. I understand that you are caring and considerate but, these things are not more important than your health. Soha has been doing her things by herself. It's no problem. You should take care of yourself more. It is best for you... and for Soha as well." Sona stated, to which Ishwari raised an eyebrow.
"What I mean to say is that," Sona spoke, choosing her words carefully, "... that you aren't obliged to do everything for Soha. And neither should she be taught to think that. She would start taking it for granted..."
Before Ishwari could say anything, Dev spoke in an accusing tone, "So let me get this clear. What you are suggesting is that Ma is spoiling Soha, isn't so?" Dev asked a bewildered Sonakshi and continued snidely before she could speak, "Well, why don't you just mind your own business here while you can treat Soha whichever way you want when we go to your house?"
"Are you serious, Dev?" Sonakshi's tone changed from composed to irritated, "You can apply whatever your rules are on me, but Soha isn't a part of any game. Ki Jiske ghar me filhaal hai, uske hisaab se usse dekhenge. We are her elders, her guardians. We have come together so that we can nurture her with love and attention from both families."
"Toh tum usse beech me kyun la rahi ho?" Dev asked.
"Main..."
"Sonkashi," Dev cut her off, "Ma has raised all four of us to become what we are today. She has given us the finest upbringing. And why are you having so many problems with her doing quote, unnecessary little things? Should we regulate the no. of hours we spend with Soha?"
"Again, spending time can be done differently." Sona countered, "And I am not questioning her love or her way of expressing it in any manner. I appreciate that she takes care of Soha. But, excess of anything is bad. She has been a bit unwell since that Vaishno Devi trip, yet she has been neglecting her health all this time. I have been meaning to say this for a while now. I don't want Auntyji to compromise on health for doing little things for Soha even in this condition unnecessarily. I just... I don't think Auntyji or Soha should think that it is Auntyji's duty..."
"It may not be her duty. But it is her right. It is what makes Ma happy, Sonakshi." Dev said, "And please, I very well know about Ma's health and I don't think I need to prove my concern for it. I have asked her to do minimal work and she has agreed. She has stopped doing anything except for Soha. The difference is that I know my mother, Sonakshi. This is what makes her happy. She has remained so long without her granddaughter and with her returned all the joy in her life. Just how can I let her stay away from the sole reason of happiness, tell me? But, why am I expecting you to be considerate again?" Dev shook his head in disdain at Sona.
"Why do you always think...?" An exasperated Sona let out a sigh as Dev left the kitchen without hearing her.
"Sonakshi," Ishwari spoke in a calm voice as she returned to complete what she had came to do, "I have learnt to care for my children this way only. What I used to do for Dev when he was a kid, I am doing it for Soha now. These little things are what I had always dreamt of doing whenever I imagined my grandchildren. You have your concerns," Ishwari emphasized on that particular word before turning to Sonkashi, "I get it. But, I assure you that I know what is best for me and my children."
Sonkashi said nothing. She just turned and left, not having any intentions of reacting further.
XXX
Sonakshi entered her room feeling mighty put off. She sat on her bed, holding her head in her hands. Her thoughts were just forming one question"what was the need to speak? Why could she just not care?
What purpose did it serve anyway; except for making her feel left out and not understood again. She should better have let it be. She shouldn't have touched the topic, stayed away from it. In this house, it was better to be happy being the face, leaving alone the substance. And maybe that's the reason of her marriage's failure. Sonakshi always believed that discussing only good things and leaving the bad ones makes a relationship incomplete. But, this house clearly had different rules.
How funny it was, she thought. From afar, her world was perfect. As far as an outsider was considered, she was happy. She was not alone. But, unfortunately she was a part of this, not a spectator, or at least she thought so. What she felt could never match with what people would see. Sometimes, Sonakshi wished that she too, like Elena, could pretend that this was home. That she was happy. That everything was perfect. How easy would it be for her, if she could just ignore the bad side too? Sure, it seemed weak to think that, but don't people always say that Ignorance is bliss.
But sadly, that's one thing Sonakshi Bose could never be good at. She could never ignore. She could barely pretend to do that. And if anything, it was a lot tiring. After a lot of failed tries, she had finally come to accept that the most she could do was accept. She had read somewhere that sometimes, accepting your weaknesses, your feelings"no matter how pathetic they make you feel"can be the only way to peace. And so she did. She accepted that she still cared for this family. She even acknowledged that. But, from the looks of it, she had gotten nowhere by that. Instead, she was back at preferring the idea of ignorance'.
Sonakshi let out a sigh. Needing respite from her stressful thoughts, she decided to shower.
Usually, her first instinct would be to call her best friend and vent out till she was in a mood to hear him talk sense to calm her down. But, she had to let go of her habit a month after he shifted to Europe again. It was when she realized that he was too busy' to listen to her rant, much less call himself. Being the master of subtlety that he was, Jatin Roy had brought a very slow, sore but great change in Sona's life; change that she hadn't necessarily welcomed happily.
It shouldn't bother her really. But, it did. It wasn't as if they hadn't been distant in their thirty two years of friendship. But, this time it was different. Firstly, something was just... off about his sudden decision to leave the country. Secondly, Sona somehow knew that if this had happened seven years before, she wouldn't be this affected. But, after these seven years, it was wholly different somehow.
To top it, she just couldn't understand what was going on in his mind. She was no fool. She knew he called Baba every week and asked about us. She knew it was he who talked with him when he was furious, just like he used to with Sona. He was actively working in Ma's mission to sustain peace between both houses. Though she had always identified him as her strength, not a solution to her problems, this way she knew that he was always there for her. He couldn't help but be.
What she didn't get was the reason of him being so... elusive, for the lack of a better word. He may be a lot subtle, but he should know that she knew him well. She knew how deliberately he was trying to drown himself in work and avoid her, even though she hadn't confronted him yet.
She had a niggling feeling that he needed her... and she couldn't be there for him. She wanted to, but he wouldn't let her. And as always, Sona was having a hard time ignoring.
I am thinking about him again!' Sonakshi mentally reprimanded herself for pondering over stressful topics repeatedly. She got up and started looking for clothes to change after shower. She was heading towards the bathroom when she heard a notification ringtone. She quickly took her phone and checked. It turned out that Jatin had posted a picture.
Think of the devil... Sonakshi thought as she opened it. He was with a girl who was wearing a casual but pretty off-shoulder yellow top and denim jeans. Jatin was in his typical slim-fit blazer suit coat with a peeking white top inside. Both of them were grinning wide and the background was that of a restaurant. They probably were having brunch.
A Mahi-licious Morning! - The caption read.
Sonkashi mentally noted that this was the second picture he had posted with that girl, after the one at the Oberois' party.
She was about to keep the phone and go when she received a call from Jatin.
"Arey wah, hum pe aaj itni meherbaani!" Sonakshi thought out aloud as she answered the call.
"Hi." Sona spoke over the phone.
"Hello, Sona." Came the cheerful voice of Jatin from the other side, "How's life?"
He seems in a good mood' Sona mentally noted.
"Oh, it is still the same old pain-in-butt." Sona answered, "So, the deal with Khannas is done?"
"Yeah, it is. But, how do you know?" He asked amusedly.
"Why else would you call?" Sona said with a duh!' tone.
"Uh, yes... Yes it is." Jatin answered after a moment, "So, they are coming to India this week. I am coming too, so I will introduce them to you."
"Wait, you are coming? What's so special?" Sona asked, surprised.
"Why? Soha's birthday, of course." Jatin answered.
Sona smiled.
"Chalo, you decided to visit for her, at least." Sona spoke, "By the way, who's Mahi?"
"Mahi? She is a girl I met at the Oberois' party. We have been in touch since then. I also took her out. She is fun; easygoing, funny and smart." Jatin replied with an approving tone.
"Oh, so you two have been seeing each other. And I missed all the details." Sona faked a whine.
"Stop whining." Jatin said, "We haven't reached there yet. But, who knows. Anyhow, Mahi may come to India too in some time. So, don't worry. You aren't too late."
"Thank god that I asked today only." Sona spoke sarcastically, "Oh, wait. Thank god that you finally decided to call today only and talk about something better than business."
Jatin stayed silent for a moment.
"I was, um, busy. There were back-to-back appointments and meetings." He finally said.
There it was again, Sonakshi mused.
"I am sorry..?" Jatin spoke when he got no answer.
"Hmm... you should be." Sona retorted.
She heard a sigh from the other side.
"Okay, then. I will see you soon." Jatin said and cut the call.
Sonakshi kept the phone and went into the shower, thinking of plans for her friend's welcome.
Aap toh aaiye Jotin Babu, aap se bohot hisaab karne hain.'- was the only thought on her mind.
Itti Si Khushi Sab TV
Bade Achhe Lagte Hain
