Should Dev and Sona get back together? - Page 2

Originally posted by: jigsaw1234

You ask an interesting question.

As it stands, Dev and Sona can co-parent but not live together.
I just can't see how they can even live together when Dev has thrown so many insults at Sona freely. And the biggest problem is he openly shows hate and distrust to Sona.

It is a shame he hasn't been shown with a stronger personality with a better moral code.
His statements and actions are contradictory and if I take them as is, I would never go back to live with a man like that.

Here are my examples:

Sona says" You didn't bind your mum and I together. Instead your lies only caused a rift between us. Take responsibility now"
Dev says "Yes, I should have never loved you and should have never married you... Get out. Just leave Sonakshi.".

Sona tells him she values a father in a child's life and why he came to see him with the baby and left messages too. Few days later, Dev says "Have you women got together and decided that a child doesn't need a father?"

Sona says "no one can take the fact away that you are Soha's father and Ishwari is her grandmother. But please go easy on her. Lets not rush her"
Dev decides to jump through the window to meet his child and then claims Sona/Bijoy wouldn't have given permission anyway and he wasn't harming the child so its okay.

Sona says "you are a good son, good brother and good friend but couldn't be a good husband. You have a chance to a good father now"
Dev says" I'll prove to be a good father and you will lose".

Soha says to Dev "My mom says I should spend time with you, Mr. Dixit"
Dev ties Sona hands, abandons her and says he is going to bond with his daughter ( did he imply he can't bond with Soha in Sona's presence OR did he just try to be cruel to Sona?

Why oh why? Either he has hearing problem, trust issues, just low IQ or he is vile by nature.

In real life, it is absolutely unacceptable to say "leave" in a marriage. The equivalent would be saying talaq in a muslim marriage. Why did he say leave and why is it acceptable??

I have discussed this with my friends at Women's Institute (women for all ages here- 25 to 95!), the one thing that has broken marriages is when either partner said the words Dev said. And the one thing that has held our marriages is our refusal to use those words to our partner even in the worst of situations. Trust me none of us are angels in our marriages!

The point is, there is boundary and that has been crossed. I guess my bigger problem is my lack of understanding of modern Indian society. My experiences are in South East Asia and the UK. Perhaps its acceptable to say these words in India today?

Even if this is a fairy tale, when the princess kisses the frog he becomes a prince. Here the prince has turned a frog and now a dragon breathing fire at the princess. Don't tell me she needs to kiss him again ;-) Then Stockholm Syndrome is the best term to describe this story.

Originally posted by: jigsaw1234

You ask an interesting question.

As it stands, Dev and Sona can co-parent but not live together.
I just can't see how they can even live together when Dev has thrown so many insults at Sona freely. And the biggest problem is he openly shows hate and distrust to Sona.

It is a shame he hasn't been shown with a stronger personality with a better moral code.
His statements and actions are contradictory and if I take them as is, I would never go back to live with a man like that.

Here are my examples:

Sona says" You didn't bind your mum and I together. Instead your lies only caused a rift between us. Take responsibility now"
Dev says "Yes, I should have never loved you and should have never married you... Get out. Just leave Sonakshi.".

Sona tells him she values a father in a child's life and why he came to see him with the baby and left messages too. Few days later, Dev says "Have you women got together and decided that a child doesn't need a father?"

Sona says "no one can take the fact away that you are Soha's father and Ishwari is her grandmother. But please go easy on her. Lets not rush her"
Dev decides to jump through the window to meet his child and then claims Sona/Bijoy wouldn't have given permission anyway and he wasn't harming the child so its okay.

Sona says "you are a good son, good brother and good friend but couldn't be a good husband. You have a chance to a good father now"
Dev says" I'll prove to be a good father and you will lose".

Soha says to Dev "My mom says I should spend time with you, Mr. Dixit"
Dev ties Sona hands, abandons her and says he is going to bond with his daughter ( did he imply he can't bond with Soha in Sona's presence OR did he just try to be cruel to Sona?

Why oh why? Either he has hearing problem, trust issues, just low IQ or he is vile by nature.

In real life, it is absolutely unacceptable to say "leave" in a marriage. The equivalent would be saying talaq in a muslim marriage. Why did he say leave and why is it acceptable??

I have discussed this with my friends at Women's Institute (women for all ages here- 25 to 95!), the one thing that has broken marriages is when either partner said the words Dev said. And the one thing that has held our marriages is our refusal to use those words to our partner even in the worst of situations. Trust me none of us are angels in our marriages!

The point is, there is boundary and that has been crossed. I guess my bigger problem is my lack of understanding of modern Indian society. My experiences are in South East Asia and the UK. Perhaps its acceptable to say these words in India today?

Even if this is a fairy tale, when the princess kisses the frog he becomes a prince. Here the prince has turned a frog and now a dragon breathing fire at the princess. Don't tell me she needs to kiss him again ;-) Then Stockholm Syndrome is the best term to describe this story.

Devakshi needs to be a good parents to soha and they can have duel custody types to share soha and act matured while dealing with soha .
Devakshi can never be together because there love has been rotten for long time and staying separate for 7 yrs is long time it proved that love has worn out if they can stay away for so long they can do rest of there lives .
But in tv they don't show reality.
Getting together for soha makes no sense when dev can never respect sona at least like human what's the use
I won't be connected if they get united just because soha wants .
even if they things will go worst later because ishwari will create more problems but this time soha will be affected .

Originally posted by: yyy

I would say it's all about perspective.For some ,Dev and Sona both loved and respected each other .Their seperation was due to misunderstandings and distrust from both the end not just one .

For some, The spinless Dev who stood by Sona during all the major issues at home and married the women who had less chances to conceive by putting his desires to be a father aside is definitely not a spineless man who doesn't deserve happiness or wife in life .

For some , it's not about women issue .Sona was respected at Dixit house and there was no restrictions on her .As a women she was not mistreated nor any women in the Dixit house .Giving preferential treatment to one of the kid was out of blind love not because of gender issue .If gender was an issue ,Neha would not be supported when she left her husband's home nor they would have cancelled the Ria's engagement without the fear of society .Neha had the freedom to go to the classes of her choice n was not judged when she was seen with Ranveer at different places in the name of tuitions .The above are enough examples to say women were treated well in Dixit home n they were no less than any men .

For some , Bose family is same as Dixit family where one child is given preferred over the other infact it's worse .In Dixit family Neha was not given equal opportunity due to their poor financial condition but yet was never ridiculed for being uneducated or made comments on her appearance or mannerism whereas the educated Bose family always ridiculed Saurabh for his overweight , for his unconventional career choices and there was constant comparison between two kids of the house .So for those some , Bose family is not perfect nor Dixit family is a devil home .

For some , if Dev made mistakes then so did Sona .If Sona was asked to leave the home so was Dev insulted infront of the whole neighborhood by Bose family . Both had their own share of mistakes and both of their the over possessive parents played a role in their breakup

Now answering your question.For some people,they want to see two lovers together in the end .For rest of the fandom who believes otherwise they prefer to see their favorites with imaginary "perfect" partner .

Originally posted by: yyy

I would say it's all about perspective.For some ,Dev and Sona both loved and respected each other .Their seperation was due to misunderstandings and distrust from both the end not just one .

For some, The spinless Dev who stood by Sona during all the major issues at home and married the women who had less chances to conceive by putting his desires to be a father aside is definitely not a spineless man who doesn't deserve happiness or wife in life .

For some , it's not about women issue .Sona was respected at Dixit house and there was no restrictions on her .As a women she was not mistreated nor any women in the Dixit house .Giving preferential treatment to one of the kid was out of blind love not because of gender issue .If gender was an issue ,Neha would not be supported when she left her husband's home nor they would have cancelled the Ria's engagement without the fear of society .Neha had the freedom to go to the classes of her choice n was not judged when she was seen with Ranveer at different places in the name of tuitions .The above are enough examples to say women were treated well in Dixit home n they were no less than any men .

For some , Bose family is same as Dixit family where one child is given preferred over the other infact it's worse .In Dixit family Neha was not given equal opportunity due to their poor financial condition but yet was never ridiculed for being uneducated or made comments on her appearance or mannerism whereas the educated Bose family always ridiculed Saurabh for his overweight , for his unconventional career choices and there was constant comparison between two kids of the house .So for those some , Bose family is not perfect nor Dixit family is a devil home .

For some , if Dev made mistakes then so did Sona .If Sona was asked to leave the home so was Dev insulted infront of the whole neighborhood by Bose family . Both had their own share of mistakes and both of their the over possessive parents played a role in their breakup

Now answering your question.For some people,they want to see two lovers together in the end .For rest of the fandom who believes otherwise they prefer to see their favorites with imaginary "perfect" partner .

Absolutely

Originally posted by: zam123

Totally agree with you.

I want them to setup their own home, away from Dixit and Bose family.

Live separately under the same roof with their daughter and share joint responsibility for their daughter.

Visitation rights given to both sets of families under their supervision.

I feel this will bring them closer and clear a lot of their misunderstanding's and they will see and understand their strengths and weaknesses and adapt, compromise with each other.

if they really love each other then they can make the decision to live together in the same bedroom otherwise be under the same roof but separate bedrooms with their daughter.

This is an interesting proposition.

So you are saying Dev and Sona should kick away their roots ( their parents and siblings ) and live together and demonstrate what good parenting is to their child by living in the same roof and even separate bedroom, if necessary.

How is leaving one's parents and giving them visitation rights to their grandkids a golden model for parenting?
What are they teaching Soha - that whatever Dev and Sona's parents did for their children is wrong BUT whatever Dev and Sona do for their child is the absolute parenting standard?!

Wouldn't that be a joke? At 28 and 26 they didn't know what is to love and respect the institution of marriage but 7 years later they suddenly know what it is to be a parent together? Sorry blaming Sona and Dev's family is a wicked escape route.

If anything, a child is a makes a marriage that much more difficult. Dev should have learnt something from Mamaji and Vicky - both remain married to woman who speak their own mind.

Socho Sona aisi wali biwi hoti tho?!!

Jigsaw1234- I loved your take.

Originally posted by: yyy

I would say it's all about perspective.For some ,Dev and Sona both loved and respected each other .Their seperation was due to misunderstandings and distrust from both the end not just one .

For some, The spinless Dev who stood by Sona during all the major issues at home and married the women who had less chances to conceive by putting his desires to be a father aside is definitely not a spineless man who doesn't deserve happiness or wife in life .

For some , it's not about women issue .Sona was respected at Dixit house and there was no restrictions on her .As a women she was not mistreated nor any women in the Dixit house .Giving preferential treatment to one of the kid was out of blind love not because of gender issue .If gender was an issue ,Neha would not be supported when she left her husband's home nor they would have cancelled the Ria's engagement without the fear of society .Neha had the freedom to go to the classes of her choice n was not judged when she was seen with Ranveer at different places in the name of tuitions .The above are enough examples to say women were treated well in Dixit home n they were no less than any men .

For some , Bose family is same as Dixit family where one child is given preferred over the other infact it's worse .In Dixit family Neha was not given equal opportunity due to their poor financial condition but yet was never ridiculed for being uneducated or made comments on her appearance or mannerism whereas the educated Bose family always ridiculed Saurabh for his overweight , for his unconventional career choices and there was constant comparison between two kids of the house .So for those some , Bose family is not perfect nor Dixit family is a devil home .

For some , if Dev made mistakes then so did Sona .If Sona was asked to leave the home so was Dev insulted infront of the whole neighborhood by Bose family . Both had their own share of mistakes and both of their the over possessive parents played a role in their breakup

Now answering your question.For some people,they want to see two lovers together in the end .For rest of the fandom who believes otherwise they prefer to see their favorites with imaginary "perfect" partner .

I agree that we all have different perspectives and see the world through our own tinted glasses.

It is also a fact that we live in a society and we have a moral code of behaviour and have to be fair in our judgements. My comment below is based on this.

@Bold:
Dev asked Sona to leave. Sona wanted them to stay together - that is exactly how I interpreted her reaction to Ishwari's words.

Boses insulted Dev in front of their neighbourhood. Sona wasn't present.

How are these 2 valid comparisons in a husband-wife tussle?

This is the thing once a partner says 'Leave' or 'I'm leaving' that relationship is over. Tell me is this acceptable in any marriage? Irrespective of all struggles in a relationship, this is one thing you don't say. Like Elena refused to say that word in Thursday's episode. It is not that she doesn't know her husband, its just that she will do everything to keep their relationship going.
And between Dev and Sona, we know who said the word!!

i fail to understand why CVs had to place the Dev tying up Sonakshi scene?