Originally posted by: deepsel
I always love reading about Ishwari because she was my first favorite character when this serial started and Sam I loved your post on her in first page👍🏼. My anger aside for butchering her character, I did ponder over that dialog " Golu brought back that little happiness in Dev's life and I didn't want Sona to spoil it again by coming back" . Oddly enough I felt some genuinity in her reasoning that instance because all she saw in Dev- Sona relationship is hurt for Dev (I know its majorly because of her but mother's eye sees only what it want to see especially with insecure eyes like Ishwari's ) . According to Ishwari, Dev started lying , hiding, compromising pain (jhula), loosing patience, questioning her thoughts (vrat) all because of Sona since nothing of this sort happened in Dev's life before. According to her he was living a peaceful life as a giver to this family willingly and she filled the gap of his happiness wherever required with her cooking and mamta. She did wanted Sona to stay thick and skin like Elena for Dev if she claims to love him more than his mother, so when Sona left her theory proved true that no one can make Dev happy like her! However leaving Sona left a deep void in her son which she couldn't fill and Golu came. Ishwari got a lifeline to get her son back to older ways slowly and steadily and didn't want to rock that steadying boat with allowing Sona inside. And constant blaming on Sona for not looking back is her way of keeping that sailing in check. I am not trying to justify Ishwari's actions here but merely trying to understand how genuine that dialog was !!😳So many interesting views but I have to make a special mention of "Payal's" garden analogy wrt Sonakshi side of reasoning in previous thread..thoroughly enjoyed reading it !!👏
Hi Deeps...as i have mentioned in Chitra's thread 'Roses for the lovely ladies' you were one of those whose impartial & unbiased posts that pulled me into joining IF, and that too sirf KRPKAB ke liye.
Now adding up to ur portrayal of Ishwari I would like to add the following point and what made me to think from her point of view is my personal experiences, as my hubby, his brother and MIL had passed through somewhat similar situations as Ishwari & Dev. In the midst of all the distractions & misfortunes my FIL passed away and it was because of her prayer, perseverance and patience only that both her sons are what they are today. And in all her struggles, it was my hubby (being the elder child) who supported her both physically & emotionally. All these I came to know only after our marriage; but one thing my hubby had cleared on the first telecon we had before our marriage, is that my hubby & his brother are like the two eyes of my MIL and they would want it to be like that forever. Till date I have ensured that their relation is maintained as it was before our marriage. .
Now coming back to Ishwari & Dev, the first 3 episodes of season 1 is enough to understand the depth of the relation between them. Rewatching it made me understand why inspite of all these betrayals Dev can't leave Ishwari for good. In one instance when Ishwari doesn't take care of her injured hand, Dev warns her that if she continues so, he will inflict himself with double the pain. Secondly, during the housewarming session when some of his friends praises him as the most successful person present there, Dev immediately corrects them and taking his mother's hands says that the only kamyaabi person there is his mother. And in return, he asks Ishwari to say a few sentences. To which she voices out how she sold everything except a cup which had Dev's name inscribed on it and how she always used to polish it to keep his name shining. Same way, she always wanted Dev's name to shine everywhere. Here, I really felt bad for Neha, as both mother & son didn't even think of giving any credits to the hardships she had to bear. No wonder why Ishwari found it difficult to accept Sona between them. Coming to the most important part, in another instance, Ishwari tells him to forget the past, to which Dev replies 'Zakhm kitne gehre/purane ho jaye vo dost ban jaye'. But later with Sona's help this Zakhm starts getting healed. And that is when Ishwari starts holding onto their past to get back her Dev. If we trace back, the exact incident that triggered Ishwari's insecurity and making her feel that she was losing her haq on her son was when she came to know that Dev sat for the pooja on Sona's insistence. The fact that, something which she couldn't achieve in the past 20yrs, a girl who just have 2-3 months relation with Dev could achieve, was really unbearable to her and that was the moment I believe she started seeing Sona as an outsider & competitor. In addition to that what was more shocking to her was that against her belief, Dev hided this relation from her!!!. Till now, Ishwari doesn't know it is Dev who first proposed to Sona. For her, the way she had understood Sona (based on the mobile phone matter, calling him dumb & all), Sona is bold enough to propose Dev. And Dev being weak-minded had fallen in her trap. That's what Ishwari still has in her mind. Her comments during the recent Jatin issue clearly portrays this belief of hers. Adding upto it, more than their lovey-dovey moments, Ishwari has mostly witnessed Dev-Sona's fights & arguments. And evenif she wants to believe they love each other, her insecurity doesn't allow her as she knows the power of true love between a husband & wife or 2 lovers (reference is the episode where she narrates to RR that evenif they were together only for 10yrs those were the most beautiful moments in her life when she had her kid's father with her. And that eventhough they were poor, their love made their life beautiful. The same she repeats to Neha in one of the episodes before marriage). So, Ishwari herself may not be fully aware of the mixed emotions taking place in her. But one thing is sure that she's highly insecure and that's why she manipulates the situations (consciously or subconsciously) to keep Sona away from Dev. Though I could understand andaccept Ishwari's actions to some level I couldn't digest when she tried to increase the distance between Dev-Sona whenever they fighted. First was when they had a fight on fasting issue, she comes & emotionally manipulates Sona to go to her mayka. But, luckily Dev spolied her plans. Second was when they fighted on Vicky issue, she cancels the candle light dinner idea of Sona and sends her to the bedroom. She knew Dev would get irritated with Sona for the same. If it were not for the infertility reports getting revealed, this fight would have extended. Third was during Ranveer's job issue, Neha has a talk with Sona at the dining table. Here, after hearing that conversation, Ishwari immediately asks Sona whether she's not going for Bhaidooj and if she wanted she could stay there for more days to which Sona agrees. But, there also Dev spoiled her plan. And finally, twisting her words on that fateful day when she saw Dev-Sona fighting tooth and nail, where she succeded in getting Sona from Dev's life. When the fact is that she is doing all this due to her insecurity, she might be teaching her mind to believe that it's all for Dev's bhalai. And which mother would not want to see her son happy. And that's why she doesn't have even a slight remorse of guilt till now.
Having said about Ishwari, I can't stop without mentioning about Bijoy Baba. I had always hoped if Bijoy had tried atleast for once to understand Dev (as a person who lost his father when he was 8yrs old) and start giving him that care & love he missed, how the story would have progressed. But no... a person who couldn't understand his son, how come can i expect it from him. I am sure if instead of Saurabh, if Sona was the one who had started the undergarment business, he would given his full support, because she was his pride and whatever she did was correct. This is were I am waiting for Ronita's entry to see how Baba's dynamics will change. If we remember, both the breakups happened after the Boses' visit to IN and in both cases it was Baba's impulsive actions & conclusions that led to it. In the first case his apprehensions was still reasonable. But, in the second case, I expected the Boses to act according to their class & the educational background they had. As a person who had gone through a similar situation i can for sure say the impact of behaving cool would have a unimaginable result in Dev-Sona's lives. Once my parents were insulted by my MIL for having used my hubby's airport trip for collecting my brother's marksheets, as she was angry that her son couldn't have the breakfast prepared by her. Inspite of my hubby again & again telling her that he had no problem with it and to keep quiet, she kept on rambling...So instead of getting heated up, what i did was, i just eyed my mom to leave immediately with my father. Otw, they were supposed to leave only after having lunch with us. Why i did so is bcos, I understood that it's not bcos she hated my parents she behaved so; rather her love for her child made her react in this manner, though it might seem irrational to most of us. By behaving so, my parents thus scored a brownie point in my hubby's eyes and recently i was surprised to hear my hubby advising one of his cousins that, when a girl marries she leaves her whole family & comes to you and this should always be remembered by the husbands. This is were Bijoy Baba & Sona lost it in the slap incident. Instead of shouting at Ishwari after Dev had clarified the matters, if Bijoy & Asha had left quietly without uttering a word, that would have increased their class & position in Dev's eyes and he would have rushed out to them to ask for forgiveness, after cooling down Ishwari and thus the slap could have been avoided. My father, is one step ahead of Bijoy Baba in being protective of his kids and every time I go to stay with them I end up fighting with him for not allowing me to go to the town on my own; How much ever he is tired he will accompany me for shopping. Finally I give into his zidd. But when it comes to matters that relate to my husband and his family I strictly warn him not to poke his nose into unwanted matters, how much ever i feel he is right due to his concern. Bcos, mera pathidev Dev se kam nahin hein aisa mamle mein. He even has the history of slapping his father's brother for badmouthing his mother...😆
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