Posted:
I read this stupendous post by Shaavi and thought it deserved its own thread...such brilliant piece of writing and insightful about the human psyche..I am speechless
Shaavi hope you don't mind I opened a new thread.
This post is purely shaavi's
The most important FB of Dev and Ishwari is the one where Ishwari gets herself slapped when she sees Dev playing cricket. When questioned by Dev she replies that he should become answer to all her sufferings... This laid the foundation for his emotional quotient. On that day Dev surrendered his identity to Ishwari. He became "The Dev Dixit" as Ishwari wanted him to be. Someone who did not have an identity of his own, with no responsibility for the consequences of his actions, good or bad. Meaning all his actions were based on what Ishwari directed. Hence Ishwari took care of the consequences.
He hid Dev within Dev Dixit completely and lived only as Dev Dixit who was Ishwari's shadow. In the beginning of the series it is shown that Dev knew what Ishwari was feeling. But Ishwari is not shown to know what Dev was feeling. This is because Dev completely mirrored Ishwari. In general Ishwari is a kind, gentle and good person. Dev was the same. For Dev his world began and ended with Ishwari.
The only respite he had was in his office. There he could breathe and have Dev in himself with Dev Dixit although the Dev in him was not very strong.
Ishwari enjoyed this power she got on Dev. It became an addict. When someone talked about Dev, it threatened her addict and she would shut them immediately. She knew it was wrong on some level, but was not ready to accept it(even now she is not ready to accept it which is a different thing)...
Till Sonakshi came into his life Dev was at peace and in a way happy with being Dev Dixit. She was a person who was complete opposite of all the other girls he had met in his life. She rejected him when all the other ones where fawning over him. She questioned the rightness of Dev Dixit. She started showing him the consequences of Dev Dixit's actions. The effects it has on others.
For the first time in his life Dev saw that his actions were independent of his mom's and they had consequences. Ishwari was not there to absorb that consequences. Dev also saw that for the first time in his life somebody gave him something without expecting anything in return. It was a complete opposite of what he had learnt in his life.
The more he interacted with Sonakshi outside of Ishwari's sphere, the more Dev became attracted towards her. Dev started to make appearance in Dev Dixit's personality. As time went on the Dev in him started to grow stronger. With her he began to think about himself, his dreams and desires. When he first realized he loves Sonakshi, his first words are "am I in love with Ms. Bose?". His kind of ending words are "aaj tak tak tum Hi, I am Dev Dixit kehthe the"
With Sonakshi's love the Dev grew strong enough to admit his love for her in front of Ishwari. The reason he delayed in telling Ishwari was the same reason as later. He did not want to go back to being Dev Dixit. He did not want to inhabit only that world. But he did not know any other way too... When he first admitted his love for Sonakshi to Ishwari he is hesitant. He hoped that Ishwari accepted this Dev along with her Dev Dixit.
He was happy that Ishwari accepted him which she pretended to initially. But when she overdoes, Dev Dixit once again took over. He broke up with Sonakshi. But Dev had tasted freedom. He would not stay quite. Dev started to feel the conflict of being Dev Vs Dev Dixit. He started doing erratic things. When in office Sonakshi explained things, he realized that he can be only one person i.e. either Dev or Dev Dixit and at that point of time. He also realized that he has to be Dev Dixit but Dev was strong too. That led him to going to Sonakshi's engagement party.
When he questioned Ishwari in his inebriated state, that is what he asked. Why she was not happy with Dev as well as Dev Dixit?. In the morning when Ishwari talks to maamaji, she tells him that Dev must hate her for what she did. Only when maamaji tells her that he doesn't remember, she goes to regain her position of control over Dev Dixit.
Dev was very happy that he finally got the freedom to coexist with Dev Dixit. After the marriage he tried to tell Sonakshi what he wanted from her in this marriage. Dev never wanted to share Sonakshi with anyone. He wanted her all to himself. He did not want her to be anything else other than his wife(Mrs. Dev Dixit). he told her that when he asked why she has kept the vrat or when he says go back to your work. For him he wanted her to be just his family. He did not want her to be the DIL or sister to his sisters.
But it was not the same for Sonakshi she wanted to be all those things(DIL and SIL etc). Because Dev loved her, he finally gave into her and decided to go along with her. He supported Sonakshi in her efforts to become the DIL and SIL.
Whenever she got hurt, Dev felt the pain. Pain which he did not want to feel. Every time he felt if only Sonakshi had remained only as his wife. If only she did not try to be these other things, then he would not have to choose being Dev to Dev Dixit.
Because of his previous experience with Ishwari he knew that he had to be Dev Dixit in front of her. But he was Dev with Sonakshi. Dev never wanted Ishwari to see this Dev. He never wanted these worlds to meet.
In that farm house when he said he chose Sonakshi, he thought she would understand him. That was Dev talking. When Sonakshi rejected him, Dev first poured his heart out about what he thought of love... Dev was heartbroken. But then Dev Dixit took over. He said all those things cause that was what Ishwari felt about her and Dev Dixit was her mirror...
Once the night was over, both the personalities in Dev had fused in such a way that he was both and at the same time neither. They kind of cancelled out each other when it came to Ishwari or Sonakshi. Dev held Ishwari as the primary person responsible for his pain while the Dev Dixit held Sonakshi responsible for his current condition.
According to the Dev Dixit in him, if Sonakshi had not come in his life, if only she had listened to him and be on his, then he would not be in that heartbroken state. He would have his both worlds in their own places and not have this constant conflict.
When Sonakshi was out of sight, Dev Dixit was able to block Dev upto a certain extent. But now that he is seeing Sonakshi, the conflict in him is making him angry. The Dev and Dev Dixit in him are fighting with each other to take control of Dev...
Hence all those conflicting stances of Dev when he is with Sonakshi...😊
