Silence!!! - Page 3

Originally posted by: tia.o

<font size="3" color="#333399">Yes, I agree. Sonakshi is no longer the nurturing person. She is cold and straight shooter. But she didn't manipulate or used Shruti for herself. Because if she wanted a payback for herself, then for Dev taking away her award, she'd have advised Shruti to call the media and stood there watching Dev's leftover reputation getting shredded.</font>

<font size="3" color="#333399">But she told Shruti to either walk away or fight back so that Dev can't treat other women like he treated her.</font>

<font size="3" color="#333399">Just like she gave Soha a choice.</font>

<font size="3" color="#333399">If she had met Shruti under different circumstances and had bad-mouthed Dev in front of her, I would have believed Sonakshi is vindictive and manipulative.</font>

<font size="3" color="#333399">If Sonakshi was standing outside her room waiting for Shruti to come out, I'd believe that.</font>

<font size="3" color="#333399">But Shruti approaching Sonakshi can't be manipulated by Sonakshi. Her repeatedly asking for advice can't be associated with Sonakshi.</font>

<font size="3" color="#333399">Did she project her experience in her advice? Yes. She certainly did. But a manipulative and vindictive person would stand there to see the result of her handiwork, not walk away and miss the chance to enjoy the result of her work.</font>

<font size="3" color="#333399">That's why I don't think Sonakshi's intention was to use Shruti. The use was done by Dev and Shruti used her advice and then blamed Sonakshi.</font>

Originally posted by: malikakas

So I totally agree with you on principle. Its funny because I am a total feminist and usually get embroiled in the opposite conversation. And frankly I completely agree with your whole women are harder on other women than other men.

But the difference in whatever you are saying and what was depicted on the show is that Sonakshi wasn't "helping" Shruti, Shruti wasn't her friend and nor was Shruti a disempowered woman that needed her assistance.

Dev and Shruti were seeing each other for 2 weeks. Shruti decides that she loves him... Dev isn't required to reciprocate. He had the right to end things and since it was his hotel room, the reality is he had a right to kick her out. Do I think he did things well... Absolutely not. He was immature and kind of jerk-- but that's the character arc the writers are going for.

But did he do something truly wrong to Shruti... Not really. He didn't insult her, he didn't abuse her physically, he didn't molest her. He didn't even abuse her verbally. He just told her, he hated the word love and that was the nail in the coffin for the relationship and closed the door on her. Its sucks to be Shruti and definitely Dev could've been nicer about the whole thing but I don't see harassment or abuse. He's kicking her out of a hotel room.. she could probably just get another one or go home. Why does she suddenly get this victim tag? If she needs her stuff.. bang on the door and ask for it. When she went back in the second time, Dev didn't have a problem with her grabbing her stuff. And even when she started her vitriolic remarks, he was indifferent up until the point she called him Obodhoro.

For me, the only real thing I would question Dev on is whether he led her to believe they could have a serious relationship just to get her into bed. Then, yes, I'd buy her as a victim of "something". But as far as the words he used, that didn't seem likely.

So as much as Dev was not a paradigm of gentlemanly behavior, I don't think Shruti needed to be rescued from anything. And Tia you pointed out something in the other thread that Sona didn't stick around to watch. But then Sona herself wouldn't believe Shruti to be in any real danger from Dev.

And yes I didn't like Dev holding Shruti's arm that hard but i don't consider it much different from when Sona grabbed his collar. Both girls and guys can get physical when angry... If I don't hold it against Sona I wouldn't hold it against Dev.

Originally posted by: Tinkerfairy

You know I would have appreciate dev if he instrospected about why sona left him ,why she didn't understand him or didn't trusted him.how conveniently he forgot the words he said to her " Mujhe tumse pyaar karna hi nahi tha,shaadi karni hi nahi thi,nikal jao yaha se" After saying all this he was expecting her to stay with him.Its still all about HIM and HIM.Its like I know I insulted you and didn't gave any respect to our relationship but still you should have supported me.Or you should have respect for me.bhale hi Maine kuch bhi Kiya ho tumhare family ke saath and tumhe ghaar se bhi nikaal Diya.But tumne Mujhe "choda" Kyu.😕😕 Islye I don't believe in "lou"

Originally posted by: flat_everest

Well!! Politicizing an issue ain't a good deed dear...With no harm to your repute in dis forum let m bring in a different pov here:

1.sorry dev threw dat ' I am what my name is gal out'.. that too without her shoes..Yes! He was wrong as a gentleman.But since leap he doesn't claim himself to b one. so I give him my benefit of doubt..That seems to b a posh hotel and d gal too must hav been chauffeur driven so she would hav been escorted back home safer..

2. Sonakshi by no means helped d other female.infact she led dar poor soul into d lion's den..Dev threw her out without harming her, Sona assured Sruti gets shown her place..U call dis help?? I don't think so

Lastly this show no where comes with a disclaimer dat it teaches u morality and female empowerment..Till date dey have lived in fiction with a slight touch of facts here and Dere..So rather Dan trying to finding an idealistic dev for your super feminist sonakshi bose, let's try to enjoy the new chapters of love n d names of suha and golu..

No harm no offense..

And tia I hav seen u praising sajedari show in one f your previous posts..I would suggest u try ek rishta swabhimaan in colors ..U might align well with the character s Dere esp Meghna and kunal..

Let dis not b treated as personal criticism..It's each one der own types!! I like dev and I like Sona too...I dislike ish but lov gkb no matter how money minded she s...I hav been watching TV since I was 5 and my serial experience says enjoy what's shown..

Originally posted by: tia.o

No problem. You are welcome to share your views. However, I am not sure I understand how Sonakshi led Shruti to lion's den? Until now Sonakshi has seen Dev once in award function where he snatched her award, went into a hotel room with Shruti, threw Shruti out and that's it.

Now if Sonakshi believed Dev to be dangerous, then she would have advised Shruti to call the police or hotel security. But she doesn't know that manhandling women is his new acquired talent. Also, for all Sonakshi know, Shruti is Dev's long term girlfriend. How would she know Dev is a Casanova?

Anyways, women being mistreated and manhandled make my blood boil. Regardless of their faults, no one deserves this.

Thanks for your suggestion. I will check out the show you recommended.

Originally posted by: tia.o

Oh don't get me wrong. I am not saying Shruti is innocent. I am also not saying that if Shruti loves him, he has to love her. But yes, throwing her out of the hotel room was a jerk move. On that point we both agree.

But when people end relationship, they say it's over and tell them to get out. People who physically throw people out without any physical threat are abusive.

I was also mad at Shruti who after taking help from Sonakshi, when Dev grabbed her, behaved as if it was not her who approached Sonakshi, but Sonakshi approached him and made her say what she said.

Shruti did not get victim tag. But as you said, Sonakshi is not her friend. So watching a woman in distress by the same man who treated her badly, her reaching the conclusion that Shruti is the victim is not an unreasonable stretch of imagination.

If we had someone in our life who betrayed us and later someone comes to us complaining they got betrayed, then we will assume this person is the victim.

Dev may or may not have led her to believe anything. But when Shruti was talking about serious relationship, he didn't say, "Hey, we talked about this. I don't do serious relationship." He kept quiet until Shruti said that she loves him. That leads me to believe, Dev didn't have any discussions about his expectations from this relationship as usual.

Sonakshi nor I nor any of us think Dev is a murderer or can beat Shruti black and blue.

And as I said before Shruti is not an innocent, we know that. But how would Sonakshi know that? She is standing up for a woman she believes in the same position as she was. So she helped. Then when that woman went her way, Sonakshi went her way.

She didn't stand and wait to see Dev suffering. So she had no payback in mind. She helped the woman, her work was done. Yes, she coloured her advice with her own experience, but we all do so.

Everything I wrote came from working with abused women and seeing them facing challenges every single day with the most trivial of reasons like which brand milk to buy and what to cook for dinner.

So I am admitting freely I am not at all unbiased. All my advices comes from watching double standard for men and women and refusing to live with it myself.

Tia the minute we are to being biased, doesn't it mean somewhere down the line we tend to overlook the flaws in one while we badger the other for having the same set of flaws.

Yup in the forum we started to have double standards. If the mistake is done by Dev, we go to any extent to bash him, blame his characterisation, call him names and we even resort to personal tit for tat kind of mails on all the posts that even sound as remotely supportive to him.

the same mistake done by sonakshi gets covered up, as she is a female, human in nature, sassy, you can choose your words.

Lets not forget there are many youngsters here, and by being biased we are indirectly trying to feed them with thoughts that would ultimately result in them forming strong opinions which may eventually be harmful to them in later years of life or hamper their relations.

As some one said, let have a courage to call a spade a spade irrespective of it being Sona or Dev.

If I, having never facing personal trauma, can be biased, so can Sonakshi. But that doesn't mean that when I tell someone to fight back, I am trying to payback someone. The same way, having a motive doesn't necessarily mean, the crime was done by that person.

Here does Sonakshi has motive to payback Dev? Yes. But there are many ways she could have paid him back. This was a very insignificant way to payback which won't have impacted any other normal person to start banging on her door.

Originally posted by: randomramblings

Originally posted by: dipali13

Thanks Tia for this post u know I am not surprised those comments because I faced this too so I can understand that no matter what but women don't help women. Here in Toronto I help lots of women when husband abuse her & threaten her but after few hours they're like made for each others. I face this type of situation so I always try to help but I mention women don't understand women sad but true.

Originally posted by: flat_everest

Why? Does not sona knows how rude can he get?? Doesn't she remember d phone breaking, ritwik s loan cancellation, bijoy s slap and her own push?? She knew exactly what would affect him..She hardly helped Sruti. Rather she used dis chance to instigate dev once more...If dev is a bully Sona too is one at d moment..