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Shaavi

@Shaavi

Voyager

Posted: 8 years ago

#21

Originally posted by: gemini54
Oh! what a tangled web we weave/When first we practice to deceive!" Walter Scott
Today the Web has been woven a start of it done before the wedding when Dev hid Sona's reports from her.

A marriage is a bond of Trust Love and Respect where the two people involved are in together for better or for worse.

Here what is the Logic behind Dev hiding Sona's condition? Because it will help his mother and His wife bond?. What is more important letting your wife the love of your life know that she is not going to have a child or they or not going to have a child together or the Bond build between his mother and his wife..some twisted cruel logic here

The road to hell is paved with good intentions a line from Randy Travis a country singer ... and this Road to hell that Dev and Sona are heading is surely that PAVED WITH GOOD INTENTIONS !

I would like to share a small experience of mine. I had mentioned in another post that i was pregnant with twins. During my 5th month, I cam to know that I have TTTS(Twin Twin Transfusion Syndrome) due to which the babies were in danger. The doc said i had chronic condition and there was very little they could do. They gave me 2 options -- either to terminate the pregnancy or go through a procedure where they drain the excessive amniotic fluid in the hopes that it will give a chance for the babies to grow. The doctors told me no matter what choice I picked, they wouldn't judge me right or wrong and that they would support our decision. They told me that there was very low chances of both the babies surviving even with the procedure. My husband left the decision with me. I chose to undergo the procedure. My brother who is a doctor knew about it, but I did not tell my mom. I knew she would be worried sick for me. I only told her that the docs have asked me for bed rest and I told her to come to U. S soon.

I used to undergo this procedure once a week to begin with. i also used to go for check up every other day at this time. Then after a month, when I went for the checkup, the docs told me that the membrane which separated the babies had broken and both the babies were now in the same space. This meant an increase in risk that there was also the added possibility of cord accident between the babies. Docs again asked me if we wanted to continue my pregnancy or terminate it. They said if I wished to continue, I would have to be admitted in hospital as an in patient so that they can continuously monitor me. Even then I could not tell my mom about all this.

I chose to continue my pregnancy. At that time the docs told me that the chances are that they could probably save one of the babies. Again the prognosis was low chances. i did everything the docs asked me to do. The draining procedure was increased to twice a week. They would monitor me thrice a day. It was one of the hardest times of my life.

But I would not want it otherwise. Even though the docs gave me very little percentage of success of saving at least 1 baby, I was ready to take it. Even if it meant me going through all that procedure and treatment.

What i hoped at that time was a MIRACLE. I hoped that if I gave enough time, maybe one of the babies will have grown enough to survive. Even with medical issues. But she would be alive. That is all that mattered at that time.

This is exactly what Dev is going through. Dev was never a strong person emotionally. Ishwari never gave him that option. To grow strong emotionally. Ishwari took away all his emotions and replaced with hers in such a way that all Dev did was her bidding. At that time for Ishwari that was what was needed so that they could get out of poverty.

The only thing he has always understood is his undying belief in his mother. That she can never be wrong and whatever he does for her is less. His life goal was to keep Ishwari happy.

Dev with Sonakshi started understanding emotions. Before confessing his love to her he tells her "mujhe rang dikhayi dete hay Miss. Bose, par mehsoos nahi hote". Isn't colors associated with emotions/moods?. It was his way of saying that he does not really understand emotions.

Dev loves Sonakshi very much. He wanted his mom to be happy for him. He thought she did when he revealed his relationship with Sonakshi. But what followed broke his heart. He felt hurt that his mom was not happy with his happiness. But since for him his mom was paramount, he decided to give up his relationship with Sonakshi similar to him not playing cricket to make Ishwari happy.

But his acceptance of this separation was short lived. He could not imagine his life without Sonakshi. He wanted to be part of her life even if it meant just to get a glimpse of her from afar. That was enough for him to keep going. When he saw Sonakshi ready to marry Ritwick, it was like a nightmare come true. he could not accept that he would lose Sonakshi forever.

When after the engagement fiasco, Ishwari told him of her approval, he was not completely convinced. Still he went ahead with the proposal. For him it was like clutching the straws when he was drowning. He was ready to take what he got.

He hoped that once the marriage was done, he would have Sonakshi with him and when Ishwari saw how happy he was, she would accept his happiness as her own. But what happened was completely opposite to that. He saw his mom butting heads with Sonakshi for his attention. He who had always wanted his mom to be happy saw that she was unhappy when he was with Sonakshi. He realized how sad his mom was with his happiness when she went to temple alone during Diwali and his subsequent talks with her.

But he was still hopeful that one day Ishwari will recognize Sonakshi's goodness and accept her with whole heart. He wants that bonding because of 2 reasons --

He know how much this acceptance means to Sonakshi. How hurt she is because of her treatment by Ishwari as an outsider. He wants to give all happiness to Sonakshi who has given him life.
He also does not want to be put in the situation where he needs to make a choice. The choice he had to make when Ishwari took those pills. Hi does not ever want Ishwari to ask him to choose.

When he saw his mother loving Sonakshi, he at first could not believe his eyes. When he came to know the reason, he wished it to be true so that he can see both of them happy and this would make him happy.

Right now Dev is fishing for time. He feels that if Ishwari and Sonakshi are given this exclusive time where both of them bond, then when the truth comes out, this bond will make that acceptance easier. i.e. Both of them will be each others support and so he will not have to choose between them.

He is hoping for miracles. He wants one chance at happiness. To have both of them in his life.

He hopes that when the truth comes out, Dev, Sonakshi and Ishwari can all think of solution like surrogacy or adoption and have a happily ever after.

Hope this clarifies your doubts a little...😊

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pkbdas61

@pkbdas61

Dazzler

Posted: 8 years ago

#22

Originally posted by: Shaavi

I would like to share a small experience of mine. I had mentioned in another post that i was pregnant with twins. During my 5th month, I cam to know that I have TTTS(Twin Twin Transfusion Syndrome) due to which the babies were in danger. The doc said i had chronic condition and there was very little they could do. They gave me 2 options -- either to terminate the pregnancy or go through a procedure where they drain the excessive amniotic fluid in the hopes that it will give a chance for the babies to grow. The doctors told me no matter what choice I picked, they wouldn't judge me right or wrong and that they would support our decision. They told me that there was very low chances of both the babies surviving even with the procedure. My husband left the decision with me. I chose to undergo the procedure. My brother who is a doctor knew about it, but I did not tell my mom. I knew she would be worried sick for me. I only told her that the docs have asked me for bed rest and I told her to come to U. S soon.

I used to undergo this procedure once a week to begin with. i also used to go for check up every other day at this time. Then after a month, when I went for the checkup, the docs told me that the membrane which separated the babies had broken and both the babies were now in the same space. This meant an increase in risk that there was also the added possibility of cord accident between the babies. Docs again asked me if we wanted to continue my pregnancy or terminate it. They said if I wished to continue, I would have to be admitted in hospital as an in patient so that they can continuously monitor me. Even then I could not tell my mom about all this.

I chose to continue my pregnancy. At that time the docs told me that the chances are that they could probably save one of the babies. Again the prognosis was low chances. i did everything the docs asked me to do. The draining procedure was increased to twice a week. They would monitor me thrice a day. It was one of the hardest times of my life.

But I would not want it otherwise. Even though the docs gave me very little percentage of success of saving at least 1 baby, I was ready to take it. Even if it meant me going through all that procedure and treatment.

What i hoped at that time was a MIRACLE. I hoped that if I gave enough time, maybe one of the babies will have grown enough to survive. Even with medical issues. But she would be alive. That is all that mattered at that time.

This is exactly what Dev is going through. Dev was never a strong person emotionally. Ishwari never gave him that option. To grow strong emotionally. Ishwari took away all his emotions and replaced with hers in such a way that all Dev did was her bidding. At that time for Ishwari that was what was needed so that they could get out of poverty.

The only thing he has always understood is his undying belief in his mother. That she can never be wrong and whatever he does for her is less. His life goal was to keep Ishwari happy.

Dev with Sonakshi started understanding emotions. Before confessing his love to her he tells her "mujhe rang dikhayi dete hay Miss. Bose, par mehsoos nahi hote". Isn't colors associated with emotions/moods?. It was his way of saying that he does not really understand emotions.

Dev loves Sonakshi very much. He wanted his mom to be happy for him. He thought she did when he revealed his relationship with Sonakshi. But what followed broke his heart. He felt hurt that his mom was not happy with his happiness. But since for him his mom was paramount, he decided to give up his relationship with Sonakshi similar to him not playing cricket to make Ishwari happy.

But his acceptance of this separation was short lived. He could not imagine his life without Sonakshi. He wanted to be part of her life even if it meant just to get a glimpse of her from afar. That was enough for him to keep going. When he saw Sonakshi ready to marry Ritwick, it was like a nightmare come true. he could not accept that he would lose Sonakshi forever.

When after the engagement fiasco, Ishwari told him of her approval, he was not completely convinced. Still he went ahead with the proposal. For him it was like clutching the straws when he was drowning. He was ready to take what he got.

He hoped that once the marriage was done, he would have Sonakshi with him and when Ishwari saw how happy he was, she would accept his happiness as her own. But what happened was completely opposite to that. He saw his mom butting heads with Sonakshi for his attention. He who had always wanted his mom to be happy saw that she was unhappy when he was with Sonakshi. He realized how sad his mom was with his happiness when she went to temple alone during Diwali and his subsequent talks with her.

But he was still hopeful that one day Ishwari will recognize Sonakshi's goodness and accept her with whole heart. He wants that bonding because of 2 reasons --
He know how much this acceptance means to Sonakshi. How hurt she is because of her treatment by Ishwari as an outsider. He wants to give all happiness to Sonakshi who has given him life.
He also does not want to be put in the situation where he needs to make a choice. The choice he had to make when Ishwari took those pills. Hi does not ever want Ishwari to ask him to choose.
When he saw his mother loving Sonakshi, he at first could not believe his eyes. When he came to know the reason, he wished it to be true so that he can see both of them happy and this would make him happy.

Right now Dev is fishing for time. He feels that if Ishwari and Sonakshi are given this exclusive time where both of them bond, then when the truth comes out, this bond will make that acceptance easier. i.e. Both of them will be each others support and so he will not have to choose between them.

He is hoping for miracles. He wants one chance at happiness. To have both of them in his life.

He hopes that when the truth comes out, Dev, Sonakshi and Ishwari can all think of solution like surrogacy or adoption and have a happily ever after.

Hope this clarifies your doubts a little...😊

You are indeed very brave.. and from what you wrote,, i am pretty sure that you did all that you could do to safeguard the life within... it needs courage, it needs conviction, it needs determination, it needs support. Apparently your husband was at your side..

In the case of Dev.. he is just the opposite of all that you are.. he lacks courage, he lacks conviction, he lacks determination, and he lacks support.. forget all else, he has no clue how to go about it and so resorts to such knee jerk reactions.. just does not think through..

he is going to lose both - his mom and his wife.. the two reasons for his joy and his family. Do you have any doubts?

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gemini54

@gemini54

Voyager

Posted: 8 years ago

#23

Shaavi first of all Hugs to you for what you went thru and thanks for sharing your story. I love your POSITIVE outlook but I beg to differ in the interpretation as it pertains to this story.

We all hope for MIRACLES we do it all the time in our lives. I have very strong faith in GOD and believe that Faith can move mountains BUT in order for Miracles to happen there are my responsibilities and actions too I cannot just say I believe in a MIRACLE and LIE my way out because as I see it Lie by any other name is a LIE especially a LIE of this magnitude.

I for one think what DEV did is cowardly maybe an emotional decision but a cowardly way out.

Since we are sharing personal stories let me share one with you.

Ours was a love marriage , My MIL was very conservative , she knew me very well before my marriage to my husband and liked me but when we decided to get married she opposed the marriage she did not have anything against me but she just did not like the idea of her son my husband choosing his own life partner ..this I am talking about 30 years ago when arranged marriages were the norm.

My husband knew she was unhappy but he loved me so he told his mother that if he marries he only marries me how ever long it takes to get her approval . This to me is what commitment is all about. He loved and respected his mother but loved me also so stood his ground and what resulted was a beautiful relationship between my MIL and me he teases that she loved me even more than him.

Here the need of the hour was Dev to maybe to buy time , come clean with Sona and them together telling Easwari not a prayer for MIRACLE because even God only helps those that help themselves

Edited by gemini54 - 8 years ago

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Shaavi

@Shaavi

Voyager

Posted: 8 years ago

#24

Originally posted by: pkbdas61

You are indeed very brave.. and from what you wrote,, i am pretty sure that you did all that you could do to safeguard the life within... it needs courage, it needs conviction, it needs determination, it needs support. Apparently your husband was at your side..

In the case of Dev.. he is just the opposite of all that you are.. he lacks courage, he lacks conviction, he lacks determination, and he lacks support.. forget all else, he has no clue how to go about it and so resorts to such knee jerk reactions.. just does not think through..

he is going to lose both - his mom and his wife.. the two reasons for his joy and his family. Do you have any doubts?

Dev was never a emotionally strong person. When it comes to emotions he is a 8 yr old boy. The thought process and emotional maturity of 8 yr old is limited. He became a man from boy without any transition period or proper guidance. He also did not have many people in his life from whom he could learn about emotions. The only person in his life whose emotions he saw were of his mother. Hence he started emoting her emotions as his own. He has done that for 20 yrs of his life. He never really learnt to handle emotions. Real emotions.

When I was going through all that, I did not have the heart to tell my mom anything. She did not know about anything that I was going through both physically or emotionally. I wanted to protect her from that. The first time I told her what actually the doctors were doing or what the prognosis for success was the day before she was supposed to come to U. S. I wanted her to be prepared for what she would see.

It was not like I did not talk to her till then or that she did not ask me how I was doing. But I did not have the courage to tell her the truth. I even never told her when my son burned himself with hot tea or when he broke his arm. I wanted to shield her from worrying about me... 😊

I hoped that when the time came and I told about it, she wouldn't have to actually see the burn or the broken arm... That I would relate it as an accident, a memory and tell her it was ok. Nothing bad happened.

I think this is why I am able to relate to Dev. I feel bad for him, but I can understand what he is thinking.

Do we not hide some unpleasant truths from our loved ones sometimes hoping that when we do reveal it, it would not have a huge impact.

Ex -- Say you fell and hurt yourself. But hid it from your mom. She comes to know when the hurt is already healed and there is only a minor scar. She will be sad that you did not tell her, but the impact wont be that much cause she did not see the actual scar. You can also say "see it is already healed. There is no more pain. Everything is ok".

I know here it is going to be even more painful. But what Dev is hoping for is that the bond to act as the healer. When the time comes he thinks his mom and Sonakshi will be each others support and he wont lose any of them.

Dev might seem like he is not strong now. But soon he will be because he has no other option. It is like when God closes one door, he opens another and the person has no other option but to go through that door, no matter where that door leads. This is exactly where Dev is headed. He will have to learn fast on how to handle emotions and he will.

What will happen, only time(and CVs 😉) can tell.

Edited by Shaavi - 8 years ago

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thedramaqueen

@thedramaqueen

Voyager

Posted: 8 years ago

#25

Shavi, thanks for sharing your personal experience. I hope your babies are doing well now. God bless them

Shavi, you are however comparing apples to oranges. Your situation and Devakshi's 7% success situation is the same. But what devakshi have right now exactly what another post talks about- a mirage... mrigtrishna

Not only is there no baby, the chances if having one are 7%

This is a classic case if lies gone too far. Where you keep lying to cover your previous lies and it's a ticking time bomb before that satrangi bulbula bursts.

Let's apply some science to this. I am now assuming sonakshi has missed her period. Which means she has irregular cycles. Can you imagine this means she could easily assume she is pregnant for 1-3 months.

Let's apply emotion to this. Like others said, when the truth comes out it will be even harder to swallow. What is even harsher is that not only is she not pregnant, she isn't getting pregnant anytime soon. After a miscarriage, a couple's biggest hope is that they will fall pregnant soon

I totally get why Dev did what he did - i understand his distant and not so distant past. But I can't justify what he is doing. It's the same as break up. I understood his reasons but not his ways.

Today he acted like a mean business man.

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preethik

@preethik

Voyager

Posted: 8 years ago

#26

Hi shaavi sorry for what you had to go through! It is amazing that your experiences have given you an unique perspective about this serial. In all the forum you are the only one who is giving us clarity on devs decision with a solid explanation. Thanks.

Yes dev has really disappointed us today. We all are feeling so bad for sona today if & when she knows the truth. Will she be able to trust dev ever again. I wonder how he'll explain his actions for her to stay in the marriage!

Don't have any words about ishs behavior. Her ability to make every situation about herself is amazing.

Hoping a strong sona emerges after the truth is revealed. Her desperation to please ish is painful to watch. Hopefully they do not stretch this track in more illogical directions else even diehard fans like me will find it difficult to continue watching.

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Shaavi

@Shaavi

Voyager

Posted: 8 years ago

#27

Originally posted by: thedramaqueen
Shavi, thanks for sharing your personal experience. I hope your babies are doing well now. God bless them
Shavi, you are however comparing apples to oranges. Your situation and Devakshi's 7% success situation is the same. But what devakshi have right now exactly what another post talks about- a mirage... mrigtrishna

Not only is there no baby, the chances if having one are 7%

This is a classic case if lies gone too far. Where you keep lying to cover your previous lies and it's a ticking time bomb before that satrangi bulbula bursts.

Let's apply some science to this. I am now assuming sonakshi has missed her period. Which means she has irregular cycles. Can you imagine this means she could easily assume she is pregnant for 1-3 months.

Let's apply emotion to this. Like others said, when the truth comes out it will be even harder to swallow. What is even harsher is that not only is she not pregnant, she isn't getting pregnant anytime soon. After a miscarriage, a couple's biggest hope is that they will fall pregnant soon

I totally get why Dev did what he did - i understand his distant and not so distant past. But I can't justify what he is doing. It's the same as break up. I understood his reasons but not his ways.

Today he acted like a mean business man.

@bold blue. At that time even I was chasing a mirage. I hoped to bring them back from the brink of death. they were that close. The percentage of success that the docs gave me was less than 1%. But I was still ready to take that chance... Unfortunately I could not save even one of them. They had too many medical issues and then they had a cord accident resulting in emergency c-section and me losing them both...😭.

It was hard at first to accept that I lost them. But after 4 yrs following that and 2 miscarriages in between, I was able to have a beautiful baby girl. 😊. She was the miracle I was hoping for even when the doc told me not to go for it. Cause I had become very weak...

Coming to KRPKAB, Dev was never emotionally strong. He has the emotional maturity of a 8 yr old. He changed from a boy to man without any transition period of proper guidance. The only emotion he experienced till Sonakshi came into his life was what Ishwari felt. He did not have any emotions of his own. Ishwari never allowed him that.

Now that he has started learning about emotions, he feels like he is in strange waters. He is bombarded with different emotions. He is trying to understand them, but still lacks that guidance that he needs.

What Dev is doing is not right. But then he has never been able to think of long term consequences. Right now what Dev wants is buy time for himself and Sonakshi. He wants his mom to love Sonakshi as her own.

He hopes that in the next few weeks or days when the truth comes out, the bond has grown strong enough that Ishwari will continue to love Sonakshi for her own. That Ishwari will support Sonakshi emotionally.

He also hopes that this bond will make Ishwari not asking him to choose between her and Sonakshi. He knows he cannot live without Sonakshi, but also does not think he can go against his mother.

This will be the true test for Dev when the truth comes out. It will also be the moment of revelation for everyone -- Dev, Ishwari and Sonakshi. They will have to come out of whatever bubble they have created for themselves and face each other.

It is like the saying "When going gets tough, the tough gets going". This will kick start Dev into finally growing up to be what he is -- Dev Dixit...😊

Just my take based on what they have shown so far...

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thedramaqueen

@thedramaqueen

Voyager

Posted: 8 years ago

#28

God bless your little fighter

Shavi, you still had a baby. Here it's nothing. Totally baseless. Just of the back of some queaziness they have built these castles in air.

He will grow. No other option. But what a cruel way of doing things

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rahulvats12

@rahulvats12

Dazzler

Posted: 8 years ago

#29

Sona is also like dev... She also hide it from about Vicky Elena affair, Saurabh Dada business...

Jaise ki wasie hi dev bhi kr rha h...both r in same boat if u r talking about trust in relationship.

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Shaavi

@Shaavi

Voyager

Posted: 8 years ago

#30

Originally posted by: gemini54
Shaavi first of all Hugs to you for what you went thru and thanks for sharing your story. I love your POSITIVE outlook but I beg to differ in the interpretation as it pertains to this story.

We all hope for MIRACLES we do it all the time in our lives. I have very strong faith in GOD and believe that Faith can move mountains BUT in order for Miracles to happen there are my responsibilities and actions too I cannot just say I believe in a MIRACLE and LIE my way out because as I see it Lie by any other name is a LIE especially a LIE of this magnitude.

I for one think what DEV did is cowardly maybe an emotional decision but a cowardly way out.

Since we are sharing personal stories let me share one with you.

Ours was a love marriage , My MIL was very conservative , she knew me very well before my marriage to my husband and liked me but when we decided to get married she opposed the marriage she did not have anything against me but she just did not like the idea of her son my husband choosing his own life partner ..this I am talking about 30 years ago when arranged marriages were the norm.

My husband knew she was unhappy but he loved me so he told his mother that if he marries he only marries me how ever long it takes to get her approval . This to me is what commitment is all about. He loved and respected his mother but loved me also so stood his ground and what resulted was a beautiful relationship between my MIL and me he teases that she loved me even more than him.

Here the need of the hour was Dev to maybe to buy time , come clean with Sona and them together telling Easwari not a prayer for MIRACLE because even God only helps those that help themselves

Thank you for sharing your beautiful experience...👏🤗.

@bold red. This is exactly what Dev is trying to do... He wants to buy time so that Dev and Sonakshi can bond without any prejudice. i.e. with an open heart. Which is all he ever wanted.

Dev always knew of his mom's possessiveness even though he did not openly acknowledge it. He knew that Ishwari has not accepted Sonakshi because she could not share him with her.

Now that he sees that they are bonding, he wants to give that opportunity a chance with the hope that Ishwari does accept Sonakshi whole heartedly. He is hoping that when the truth comes out, Ishwari loves Sonakshi sufficiently so that she supports her in her time of need.

He wants both Ishwari and Sonakshi open to suggestions like surrogacy or adoption when the truth comes out. He fears losing Sonakshi from his life or disappointing his mom. He is not yet in a position to handle that.

When god closes one door, he opens another. At that time, the person is left with no choice but to go through that open door no matter where that door leads. That is exactly what Dev is going to do. He will have to learn and learn fast to deal with the consequences which he has never had to do. He will start taking responsibilities for his actions and become the man that confessed his love to Sonakshi.

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