Motherhood!!! EDITED with a Question - Page 2

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M.soni thumbnail
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Posted: 8 years ago
#11

Originally posted by: tia.o

Today' topic is Motherhood.

Now before I start, let me add a disclaimer that I don't have children yet and hence have no authority on the subject. So take it from the point of view of an observer and not a mother.

In this show, there are five mothers - Dida, Asha, Ishwari, Radha and Neha. Most gave birth to the children they raised and one raised someone else's child.

In Indian joint families, the definition of mother is a little blurred. Most of us call our aunts as mother too.

In Bengali,

Father's older brother's wife is Jethi Maa.

Father's younger brother's wife is Kaki Maa.

Father's sister is Pishi Maa.

Mother's brother's wife is Mami Maa.

Mother's sister is Mashi Maa.

So on and so forth.

And of course, Father's mother is Thakur Maa (or Thamma) and Mother's mother is Didi Maa (or Dida).

Yes, CVs should have done more research when showing Bong family.

Anyhoo, long story short, in joint family, we grow up under loving umbrella of so many mothers that our cousins become as close to us as our own brothers and sisters. It's hard for us to differentiate who is the brother or sister and who is the cousin.

In nuclear family, there is only one mother who raises us.

In this case, all the mothers are from Nuclear family.

Ishwari - She is a mother who went through tough times and raised her children alone. By children I mean Dev. Neha raised herself and her sisters. Ishwari didn't have time between her work and laser like focus on Dev. However, she has a balance sheet where she has lovingly stored all her debts and never hesitates to bring it out to suit her purpose.

She believes that if she doesn't hold the reign of her son tight enough, he will dump her and leave. So the best way to ensure he never leaves her is to tight the reign so hard that he can't sneeze without worrying that she'd mind.

She raised her son with the belief that his mother is a Goddess and anything that displeases the Goddess is blasphemous and treason and he should immediately eliminate the person or thought that goes against his mother's wishes without mercy or concern for others.

Dida - She is a single mother just like Ishwari. We don't know how hard it was to raise her only son without her husband or what hardship she went through because she didn't keep a debt list to pull out at her convenience. She doesn't constantly go back in the past to get her "poor me" fix. She lives in the present happily with her family.

She is absolutely confident that her son will never leave her. And why would he when she is such an amazing mother? She lives every moment with as much positivity and happiness as possible because even if she passes away today, she will die happy and content to know that she is leaving her son with his very loving wife and family.

Radha - She is the kind of woman who thinks her son can do no wrong (Ishwari thinks so too). She justifies everything he does because according to her, the whole world owes her son everything he wants and if someone dares to point any finger at him then they are obviously wrong, not her son (Come to think of it, Ishwari thinks so too).

She is a woman who hates other women unless they have money or know someone who has money. So she feels no remorse to applaud her son if he goes and destroys a girl's life for petty revenge (That is the only difference Ishwari has with Radha).

I always wondered what kind of women raises men who go and rape and assault women? If I have to guess, it would be women like Radha.

Asha - She is a mother who raised her son and daughter with equal love, care and affection. She is sweet, generous and a fountain of wisdom. She got a mother-in-law like Dida who gave her the love of a mother and she learned from the best example to be as good mother-in-law to her children's spouse as she had herself. She loves her children enough to be happy for them and let them have their own life.

She is fortunate to have a life partner like Bijoy who may not be rich but is willing to fight the world for her. A strong woman can fight her own battles. But when a life partner stands by her side willing to slay all hurt that comes her way, that woman is the luckiest of them all. What a champion to have!!!

Neha - She was forced to be a mother for her two little sisters when she was a child herself. But even then she did such a good job that when they have a concern, they come straight to her, never to their actual mother. They speak their mind openly and honestly. They don't feel they need to hold back their opinion, thoughts, free will just because she raised them. She treats them as adults who have their life to live all the while being there for them when they need a place to come home to.

Come to think of it, she is a mother like Asha.

She may have turned bitter due to her circumstances. But her mothering is flawless. Too bad her screwed up childhood took away her desire to be a mother.

For that reason, while I feel disappointed in her, I can't hate her.

EPISODE UPDATE:

Dev asks Ishwari to rest and helps Sonakshi fry Kachoris. This is exactly what Sonakshi wanted when she asked Dev to be independent. She wanted two of them taking the responsibility of their and their family's life together. Regardless how much Ishwari wants to be the other half of Dev, she isn't. Only the wife can become the other half. That's how family units are created.

Just like last time, the point wasn't to fold clothes, this time the point wasn't to fry Kachoris. The point is spending and sharing chores together and laughing, talking, bonding while doing it. Good job, Dev. Me thinks, the fever took away the brain fog which was clouding your sensibilities.

But that is not how Ishwari saw it. The competition she is playing in her own head, she put this as another example of Sona taking her place.

Sonakshi truly has endless patience to calmly talk to her after her attitude. She should be thankful that she didn't get daughter-in-law like Neha. But I guess women like Ishwari deserves daughter-in-law like Neha. Because women like Sonakshi is too good for them.

But of course, they have been married for a few months, made love for even less time than that (thanks to Ishwari), then all the dramas been going on along with fights and of course, it's quite obvious to think about kids right now.

The moment Radha incited Ishwari, of course she wants grandkids yesterday if she could reverse time.

Ishwari asks Dev directly. Dev informs her that he doesn't want children for five years (In the meanwhile trying to figure out the infertility report he has hidden from everyone including Sonakshi).

And the emotional blackmailing starts. Ishwari is suddenly too old and will die tomorrow if she doesn't see her grand children (I don't remember her asking Neha for them. Oh wait, she doesn't dare to ask anything to Neha). But not too old to run after Dev or trying to compete with Sonakshi for every little things.

So Ishwari decided to go to the soft touch - Sonakshi. She can't put too much pressure on her son. So why not go and flex her in-laws muscle on Sonakshi.

Sona sees Ayan with girl who is crying.

Precap: She tries to talk to Dev and Ishwari. We all know how they will patiently listen to her and try to investigate the matter because of course Riya's life is important. *SNORT* Who says I can't crack a joke?

P.S. So now that Ishwari wants grandkids, so does it mean honeymoon in Paris is back on? I mean Neha must have got over her bad feelings if she is fine with Dev and Sonakshi being parents. So honeymoon should not bother her anymore. Right?


i would like to answer on ur p.s ...neha will never feel bed..as she doesn't want any child...usko azadi cahye 😆😆😆but but but she is ishwari daughter after all jealous and double minded...so u never know when she start feeling like baby chaye usko bhi😆😆😆
so ishwari will ask dev to give ur child to neha ..she had sacrificed her child hood for u ..cant u give ur child to her bala bala😆😆😆

one option more...jab tak ishwari ko bura nahi lagye ga bache ka hona neha ko bhi nahi lagye ga bura.😆😆😆

nice post by the way..commenting 1st time on ur post.👏
gemini54 thumbnail
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Posted: 8 years ago
#12
Tia great post love the different mothers you have listed. Being a Mother is something I cherish it is not my ONLY IDENTITY but it is a huge part of it. Children bring to our lives joys which just cannot be described but having a child or opting not to or people struggling to have one is very, very personal and involves only two people and ONLY two people.

This story for drama sake or whatever sake dont even know why we have this track on this show seems forced to me is involving Easwari I have given up on understanding this show as it pertains to the mother dynamics but I am almost afraid what Push-pull wrote below will come true ..I am hoping it will not but I have a feeling it will at some shape or form because we have the Pre Nup bombshell too and the only way the makers can bring that to fore is if there is a official separation of Sona and Dev.

My only wish in all this is that Sona stands up for herself after the grieving

Originally posted by: Push-pull

👍🏼

And in this motherhood story and the upcoming 'to-be mother' story, I don't know why I'm thinking that Dev will go crying to his Maa "Maa... Maa... I'm sorry Maa... I so much wanted to give birth a baby and give it to you to mother it... After all you are the best mother in the whole world and what else can I ask for my own baby from you other than being a mother for it! But but but... Now I can't do that Maa... Sorry Maa..."

Ishu will finally be happy that she has found one more reason to make Dev guilty about... Poor mother how long she'll be bringing up stories from the past... She must be bored and tired of it... Now she can make Dev-Sona play around her fingers with this story making them feel guilty...

And our Dev toh already very sad and guilty about not making his Maa happy with grandkids... Now Sona, the best bahu in the world will join him in the guilt game... For not being able to become the best maa like Ishwari...

I can only get angry and upset with Sona if she gets into a guilt trip after knowing about her medical report... Let her cry and feel sad.. Then later let her drag Dev to the doctor and try every possibility out of this... If nothing works then let her be confident about herself and decide what's important for her... If baby counts so much then she can look for options accordingly... Else go girl.. Go enjoy your long due world tour... 😉😃

rose4ever thumbnail
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Posted: 8 years ago
#13
Another awesome post Tia.Loved your post on changes as well,haven't been able to comment the past few days due to busy schedule.
Both Asha & Dadi are admirable mothers,dil & mil and don't need to toot their own horns because their actions speak for them,On the other hand we have Ishwari who sings her praises on every available opportunity but her actions negates her words and radha who praises every wrong deed of her son(but then again,she is herself no angel).Neha is also never selfish in her love as a mother towards Ria & Nikki which is again admirable and has raised them well.Though I haven't been happy with how her character is being portrayed these days.Her bitterness was mostly understandable or reasonable in earlier episodes.Even if I didn't agree with it at some points,I still understood it.But in the last few episodes,that element is missing.

I think at this point only the Bose family scenes are worth watching for me.I watch them after reading the WU and skip the rest.Devakshi romance is not appealing anymore and would remain so till there is an actual upward growth in characters.I cringe while even reading DevIsh scenes,watching them does not even come to mind.

All this talks about grandkids and "you'll understand when you become a mother" indicate the upcoming infertility track and I am dreading the taunts & guilt trips that are awaiting for Sona.I would like to see CVs showing something progressive in this track instead of defining & restricting the role of a woman to that of a mother.
Edited by rose4ever - 8 years ago
Tia.0 thumbnail
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Posted: 8 years ago
#14
@BOLD, so true, isn't it? She neatly imposes her wishes on other people's shoulders to get her own way. When she didn't want honeymoon, Neha didn't want honeymoon. When she wanted Riya's marriage, Neha wanted Riya's marriage. When she wants Dev and Sonakshi to have a baby, Neha wants them to have a baby. Neha wants so many things in her head and only Ishwari can hear them. Even she doesn't know what thoughts she is channelling to her mother. Lol... 😆

Originally posted by: M.soni


i would like to answer on ur p.s ...neha will never feel bed..as she doesn't want any child...usko azadi cahye 😆😆😆but but but she is ishwari daughter after all jealous and double minded...so u never know when she start feeling like baby chaye usko bhi😆😆😆
so ishwari will ask dev to give ur child to neha ..she had sacrificed her child hood for u ..cant u give ur child to her bala bala😆😆😆

one option more...jab tak ishwari ko bura nahi lagye ga bache ka hona neha ko bhi nahi lagye ga bura.😆😆😆

nice post by the way..commenting 1st time on ur post.👏

Tia.0 thumbnail
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Posted: 8 years ago
#15
Absolutely. Women enjoy their motherhood and they should. It is a beautiful feeling and brings two people even closer to each other.

But a husband wife should decide when they are prepared to have a third person in their relationship. Heck even taking infertility aside, Sona and Dev are still trying to figure out their marriage. Until they reach the comfort level, trust and mutual understanding phase, how does it make any sense to bring a child between the chaos?

And Ishwari is still taking care of Dev like a child. How would he become a father when he can't even fold a handkerchief? When his baby wakes up crying in the middle of the night needing a nappy change, will he go wake up his mother? I hope Sona tells that to Ishwari.

Honestly... Where do people come up with such a moronic idea?

Ishwari doesn't even let Dev and Sona go to honeymoon. But she wants grandkids. Where is the privacy to create them?

Originally posted by: gemini54

Tia great post love the different mothers you have listed. Being a Mother is something I cherish it is not my ONLY IDENTITY but it is a huge part of it. Children bring to our lives joys which just cannot be described but having a child or opting not to or people struggling to have one is very, very personal and involves only two people and ONLY two people.

This story for drama sake or whatever sake dont even know why we have this track on this show seems forced to me is involving Easwari I have given up on understanding this show as it pertains to the mother dynamics but I am almost afraid what Push-pull wrote below will come true ..I am hoping it will not but I have a feeling it will at some shape or form because we have the Pre Nup bombshell too and the only way the makers can bring that to fore is if there is a official separation of Sona and Dev.

My only wish in all this is that Sona stands up for herself after the grieving

Tia.0 thumbnail
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Posted: 8 years ago
#16
Oh you are absolutely right. This is the way CVs are paving the way to Ishwari creating issues about Sonakshi's medical condition. Ishwari already said, "They didn't think about me". Jaise ki bachhe paida karne ke liye bhi ussi ka dhyan karna padega. Yeh to achha hua ki yeh nehin kahan ki bachhe try karte samay bhi ussi ke baare mein sochna padega. Seriously, this lady!!!

I am telling you, she will show her true colours the moment the report comes out. But I want Dev to open his mouth and tell the truth how he hid Sonakshi's report. No vague terms and no miscommunication would be accepted at that time. And I want him to stand by him like a rock because the decision to hide the report was his.

Originally posted by: rose4ever

Another awesome post Tia.Loved your post on changes as well,haven't been able to comment the past few days due to busy schedule.

Both Asha & Dadi are admirable mothers,dil & mil and don't need to toot their own horns because their actions speak for them,On the other hand we have Ishwari who sings her praises on every available opportunity but her actions negates her words and radha who praises every wrong deed of her son(but then again,she is herself no angel).Neha is also never selfish in her love as a mother towards Ria & Nikki which is again admirable and has raised them well.Though I haven't been happy with how her character is being portrayed these days.Her bitterness was mostly understandable or reasonable in earlier episodes.Even if I didn't agree with it at some points,I still understood it.But in the last few episodes,that element is missing.

I think at this point only the Bose family scenes are worth watching for me.I watch them after reading the WU and skip the rest.Devakshi romance is not appealing anymore and would remain so till there is an actual upward growth in characters.I cringe while even reading DevIsh scenes,watching them does not even come to mind.

All this talks about grandkids and "you'll understand when you become a mother" indicate the upcoming infertility track and I am dreading the taunts & guilt trips that are awaiting for Sona.I would like to see CVs showing something progressive in this track instead of defining & restricting the role of a woman to that of a mother.

mena_k thumbnail
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Posted: 8 years ago
#17

Originally posted by: tia.o

<font size="3" color="#003399">Oh you are absolutely right. This is the way CVs are paving the way to Ishwari creating issues about Sonakshi's medical condition. Ishwari already said, "They didn't think about me". Jaise ki bachhe paida karne ke liye bhi ussi ka dhyan karna padega. Yeh to achha hua ki yeh nehin kahan ki bachhe try karte samay bhi ussi ke baare mein sochna padega. Seriously, this lady!!!</font>

<font size="3" color="#003399">I am telling you, she will show her true colours the moment the report comes out. But I want Dev to open his mouth and tell the truth how he hid Sonakshi's report. No vague terms and no miscommunication would be accepted at that time. And I want him to stand by him like a rock because the decision to hide the report was his.</font>


Sorry to butt in, but I think, Dev would say after knowing how bad Ishwari is feeling "Main unn dono ko khushi nahin de paya, jinse main sabse jyada pyaar karta hoon," when infact he would only be thinking about his mother. No he won't speak up, no hopes from him.

Can cv's surprise me 😊
Tia.0 thumbnail
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Posted: 8 years ago
#18
If Dev doesn't speak up, I am here to write a Dev bashing post. You are all invited to join... 😆

Originally posted by: mena_k


Sorry to butt in, but I think, Dev would say after knowing how bad Ishwari is feeling "Main unn dono ko khushi nahin de paya, jinse main sabse jyada pyaar karta hoon," when infact he would only be thinking about his mother. No he won't speak up, no hopes from him.

Can cv's surprise me 😊

gemini54 thumbnail
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Posted: 8 years ago
#19
Tia I kind of agree with Mena.
The way I see it happening Easwari pressuring Dev and Sona for kids. Sona thinking it is a good idea. Dev instead of telling Sona goes to Easwari because she is God incarnate and tell her MAA you remember the report and blah blah..Easwari maybe with the help of mami instigation telling Sona about report and guilt tripping her. Sona confronting Dev about report he admitting , Sona devasted and moving out . Dev still not understanding Easwari intentions then pre nup comes out because of divorce proceedings ..this is the way I predict things happening because the makers are not yet there for Dev to wake up..of course I always make negative posts😉


Originally posted by: tia.o

If Dev doesn't speak up, I am here to write a Dev bashing post. You are all invited to join... 😆

Tia.0 thumbnail
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Posted: 8 years ago
#20
Yeah. Like I said if that happens, you guys have open invitation to join in Dev bashing...

Originally posted by: gemini54

Tia I kind of agree with Mena.
The way I see it happening Easwari pressuring Dev and Sona for kids. Sona thinking it is a good idea. Dev instead of telling Sona goes to Easwari because she is God incarnate and tell her MAA you remember the report and blah blah..Easwari maybe with the help of mami instigation telling Sona about report and guilt tripping her. Sona confronting Dev about report he admitting , Sona devasted and moving out . Dev still not understanding Easwari intentions then pre nup comes out because of divorce proceedings ..this is the way I predict things happening because the makers are not yet there for Dev to wake up..of course I always make negative posts😉


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