Relationships!!! - Page 2

Originally posted by: sajinifaby

If i am Sajini in real :

Yet if anyone even questions a man's honour or raises a single question to his dignity, we are all over to defend and protect him.

It's about time, we women stop taking our or another women's respect for granted.

When a woman willingly goes to live with her husband's family, she is doing them a favour so that her husband can have everything without a single sacrifice at her own personal cost.

Yet people take that for granted because of handy tradition. Such a shame that even we, women take ourselves and each other for granted.

---- i do not accept such disrespect in any form -------

But wrt KRPKAB characters, earlier i never supported every single time you made mention about Dev

My family is a combo of Dev and Sona - a bit too complex - and sometimes hearty n light-hearted.

I do not understand one logic - how can people be mute to injustice

But from my bitter experiences Tia, i realised one alone can't make the change.

In the bible, there is a mention about this - sorry am bringing a bit of religion... coz my belief is this... as God has rightly shown what is really a marriage

Ecclesiastes 4:9-12New International Version (NIV)

9 Two are better than one,
because they have a good return for their labor:
10 If either of them falls down,
one can help the other up.
But pity anyone who falls
and has no one to help them up.
11 Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm.
But how can one keep warm alone?
12 Though one may be overpowered,
two can defend themselves.
A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.

What am trying to say is... both husband and wife can make changes..and it is powerful... a three strand means God along with us...

verse reference down -

so coming back to what I was trying to say - in a complex family we cannot be vocal each time... but yes, effort should be taken... In any case, GKB cannot be silenced down.. until and unless his own mother accepts.. so step 1 begins there.. and to me GKB is so unimportant and petty to fight for... mamaji is important.. and he does cut her conversations most of the time, which is enough.

And you are right... acceptance is mutual... it is not always gals who should let go of everything that is dear to her... including her beliefs.

Thanks for this post. And hope the show brings positive change to the society and not embrace the wrongs existing and glorify them as RIGHT... just for TRP Aunties who always loves watching and doing injustice. ufff.. Sigh.

Ephesians 5 : 31 "Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, the two shall become one flesh." 32 This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church. 33 However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.

this is what marriage means to all of us...

18 The Lord God said,"It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.

19 Now the Lord God had formed out of the ground all the wild animals and all the birds in the sky. He brought them to the man to see what he would name them; and whatever the man called each living creature, that was its name. 20 So the man gave names to all the livestock, the birds in the sky and all the wild animals.

But for Adam no suitable helper was found. 21 So the Lord God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep and while he was sleeping, he took one of the man's ribs and then closed up the place with flesh. 22 Then the Lord God made a woman he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man.

23 The man said,

"This is now bone of my bones
and flesh of my flesh
she shall be called woman,'
for she was taken out of man.

24 That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh.

Originally posted by: tia.o

Today the biggest discussion in the forum is how Dev in his eagerness to please his mother Ishwari, let another mother down.

Few weeks ago (or is it month?) I made a post on Balance. I wrote how every relationship has its place and importance. When someone gives more importance to one, it starts to encroach in another relationship's space.

Dev always gave Ishwari the most space in his life. But that was how Ishwari intended. His every other relationship came filtered through her to the point that he saw what she made him see, he felt what she made him feel, he believed what she made him believe. He never questioned nor used his own thoughts to question why.

The result of this was isolation. Neha had Riya and Nikki to bond. But Dev had only Ishwari. He had no bond with anyone else. How could he? Ishwari blocked everyone else from him. As a result he didn't have friends either.

There is a problem with friends you see. They don't have blood ties with you so they don't have to hide their thoughts or pull their punches. If Dev as a child went to them and started his Mummy song, he would be laughed and teased the crap out of him by his friends. So Ishwari made sure his focus and devotion remained only on her, no one else.

Dev grew up and met Sona. For the first time in his life he had a friend. Sona says she was his best friend but it's not as if she had a competition in that matter.

Anyways, later that friendship turned into love.

Now every strong relationship has the foundation of friendship. So you'd think since Dev married his only friend, best or otherwise, he will have the strongest relationship.

But no. Regardless what anyone says, I am telling you as a woman who has been married for 5 years to her best friend, Dev and Sona doesn't have strong relationship. If anything, their relationship is extremely weak.

Why? Because their relationship doesn't have a foundation of friendship, it's foundation is a lie. A lie by omission is still a lie.

Now the question arises that why two friends who also love each other has to lie or hide from each other?

Dev thought that if he told Sona about her infertility, she would leave him. He with his own experience should know that they could not leave each other alone. Then why lie?

Because Dev has this desperate need to please everyone even if that means he will lie, threaten, make hasty promises he can't keep, as long as the person in front of him is temporarily happy, that's good enough and he doesn't care who he hurts in the process because family comes first and as Indian reality suggests a wife may be a lover who knows your body better than you know it yourself, she may be mother of your children who is continuing your family's legacy, she may be by your side when you are cripple with sickness but she is not family.

Because that's how society behaves with men and women.

Every mother tells her daughter when she is about to get married, "Treat your husband's family like your own and love them like us."

Why don't we tell our sons that?

Why do we expect a man to be loyal to his family, but a woman to shift her loyalty to her husband and his family the moment she gets married?

If a woman devotes herself to her husband's well being and happiness, she is pativrata and if a husband does the same, he is jodu ka ghulam?

If a woman stands up for her husband's honour against even her own family, she is a good wife.

If a husband does the same, he is a bad son?

Like Mamaji, I have a story too. It's from Mahabharata.

A woman had 5 husbands but they bet her in gambling treating her like a property. She was dishonoured, but they watched silently. Her best friend, Sakha, came to save her honour because that's what best friends do.

The result of that insult was destruction of the entire family.

Here the woman's best friend was not her husband. But just like friends he stood by her and protected her honour. Because a REAL man neither disrespects nor watches a woman's disrespect silently - be it his mother, sister, aunt, wife, friend, his domestic help or the woman selling her body at the street corner.

Dev does not respect women because Ishwari doesn't respect women. He treats women as if they are some empty headed dolls who he has to manage and take care of. He knows best what they need and it's his responsibility to provide for them what he thinks they need. Then they can show their appreciation with praise and adoration and in Sona's case in the bedroom.

Shocked? Don't be. A man who respects women doesn't stand and watch silently while his own wife is being insulted. And don't tell me he is showing respect to elders, he isn't.

If an elder disrespects someone and he stands and watch, he is participating in the insult.

If a husband doesn't make sure people know that his wife's insult is his insult, he is not respecting his relationship.

And if he conveniently ignore the snide comments that is thrown towards his wife because well, he is not being attacked, then he is not respecting his wife.

And a man who can't do justice to his commitment, should not make a commitment.

I have said it before and saying it again. A man who loves his mother and a Mamma's boy are not the same. A man who loves his mother, shows her successful parenting by respecting his wife and treating her family with respect because his mother raised him right and taught him how to treat women.

A Mamma's boy dances to his mother's command and either disrespected his wife and her family and/or keeps his mouth shut when his mother dishonours his wife and proves what a shitty job his mother did raising him.

That's the difference ladies. Bijoy is the former, Dev is the later. Marry the former, not the later.

I don't know if we are so used to seeing a woman getting insulted that it doesn't even register in our conscience that it's wrong or for some people a woman doesn't have dignity which makes us indifferent when we watch a woman being insulted.

Yet if anyone even questions a man's honour or raises a single question to his dignity, we are all over to defend and protect him.

It's about time, we women stop taking our or another women's respect for granted.

When a woman willingly goes to live with her husband's family, she is doing them a favour so that her husband can have everything without a single sacrifice at her own personal cost.

Yet people take that for granted because of handy tradition. Such a shame that even we, women take ourselves and each other for granted.

Originally posted by: tia.o

The result of this was isolation. Neha had Riya and Nikki to bond. But Dev had only Ishwari. He had no bond with anyone else. How could he? Ishwari blocked everyone else from him. As a result he didn't have friends either.

Friends are an important component in a persons life as family and balances us here that link is not there in Dev's life and so he is not balanced

There is a problem with friends you see. They don't have blood ties with you so they don't have to hide their thoughts or pull their punches. If Dev as a child went to them and started his Mummy song, he would be laughed and teased the crap out of him by his friends. So Ishwari made sure his focus and devotion remained only on her, no one else.

True statement

Now every strong relationship has the foundation of friendship. So you'd think since Dev married his only friend, best or otherwise, he will have the strongest relationship.

But no. Regardless what anyone says, I am telling you as a woman who has been married for 5 years to her best friend, Dev and Sona doesn't have strong relationship. If anything, their relationship is extremely weak.

Why? Because their relationship doesn't have a foundation of friendship, it's foundation is a lie. A lie by omission is still a lie.

Perfect statement any relationship which is built on lies is like house built with straw a heavy gust of wind can blow it apart

Because Dev has this desperate need to please everyone even if that means he will lie, threaten, make hasty promises he can't keep, as long as the person in front of him is temporarily happy, that's good enough and he doesn't care who he hurts in the process because family comes first and as Indian reality suggests a wife may be a lover who knows your body better than you know it yourself, she may be mother of your children who is continuing your family's legacy, she may be by your side when you are cripple with sickness but she is not family.

Because that's how society behaves with men and women.

A very sad reality that I hope will change as more and more people become aware of this and that is what I am hoping that this show will emphasize I am still holding my breathe

Every mother tells her daughter when she is about to get married, "Treat your husband's family like your own and love them like us."

Why don't we tell our sons that?

Some of us are. One of my sons conditions of a perfect match for him is that both families should love and respect each other as their own. He came to this conclusion not because I told him so but by the example of me and my husbands family..is it that common no but I believe it is getting there

And a man who can't do justice to his commitment, should not make a commitment.

This is the truth

I have said it before and saying it again. A man who loves his mother and a Mamma's boy are not the same. A man who loves his mother, shows her successful parenting by respecting his wife and treating her family with respect because his mother raised him right and taught him how to treat women.

AMEN

It's about time, we women stop taking our or another women's respect for granted.

When a woman willingly goes to live with her husband's family, she is doing them a favour so that her husband can have everything without a single sacrifice at her own personal cost.

Yet people take that for granted because of handy tradition. Such a shame that even we, women take ourselves and each other for granted.

It is all about respecting oneself we cannot command respect from others if we don't respect yourself.

I think there was a Hindi movie I forget the name where the character says I am my favorite person it was cute but had a deep meaning

Originally posted by: Paytonlee

You said it all 👏👏

Why is it in Indian society a daughter in law's responsibility to keep the in laws above everyone else when it doesnt apply for the men. Infact some of the boy's side family think its their right to insult the daughter in law and her family.

Also what u said was correct. He doesnt respect his relationship with his wife nor with his in laws. If he did he would stop his family from insulting sona and even Asha. He would have explained to his mom about how Asha is like a mom too now and just like sona accepted ishwari as a mom wholeheartedly he should also do the same. Infact the only relationship he respects is the one with his mom. Let anyone say anything bad about her he wont stand quiet. he will fight for her. why cant he do the same for his wife. He loves her but I dont think he respects or understand her yet.

They got married too soon..

Originally posted by: fanktlk

He got Sona too easily. He confessed she was already in love.

He broke up and when he wanted her back she was handed to him on a platter.

He never had to woo her...

Originally posted by: WeRockTheWorld

Beautifully Written !!

The points I liked , I coloured it pink :-))

Originally posted by: tia.o

Thank you. I have been saying this since Dev and Sona got married. I was told that I was being negative, that I complain too much, that I should just keep my mouth shut for daring to show the true nature of Dev and Sona's relationship. But today everyone of them who supported Dev when he watched mute his wife's dishonour could not remain silent when Dev let down another mother - Asha. But why would a woman has to be a mother before her respect matters? Why just by giving birth a woman to be raised to Goddess status while before she is treated like she has no dignity?