Iswari the Indian Parent How Wrong is she?

mena_k

@mena_k

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19

Posted: 8 years ago

#11

A very good post indeed!

Ishwari was not wrong given her financial conditions to decide on getting only one child educated at that time. However, poor or rich, no parent ever shows the neglectance she had for Neha. She never had any love or time for her daughters. Not then and now now. This is not natural and something which is indigestible even by indian parenting standards.

What she did in the past even If we try to justify it, what she is doing now cannot be. She is literally manipulating people, conditions to achieve whatever she wishes for. That again is not parenting and this is why many have been saying Ishwari has an obsession with Dev. Like when she kept on repeating how will I live without Dev (or was it how will Dev live) away for 15 days. This clearly shows her unstable state of mind. She needs help no personal but professional.

Even now instead of accepting her faults done with respect to Neha, she blindly pus all blame on Dev. Hell Dev was only a child when Ishwari decided on what and who is to do what. How can she blame a child for another child's situation. That's absurd.

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babli1

@babli1

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14

Posted: 8 years ago

#12

Great post 👏

Ishwari is not wrong but her drive to past and making Dev go on guilt trip is horrible

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Pehchaan.Kaun

@Pehchaan.Kaun

Sparkler

30

Posted: 8 years ago

#13

Great post 👏.

I agree, Indian parents are more or less like the same 🤔. However, that's why it's being asked to change their outlooks, not to mix their children's lives with theirs.

For Ishwari, however the situation is different. Her investing everything on Dev's education is not wrong, even depriving Neha from education due to shortage of money is somewhat acceptable (very difficult to accept though). But the questionable traits in her parents are below acc. to me -

1. When I see Dev, I see a toy/puppet of Ishwari. I see no identity of Dev alone. I can't distinguish Dev and Ishwari at few instances. Dev starts thinking on his own for 5 minutes, then Ishwari takes over his brain and Dev blindly follows that. The very reason he suffers from identity crisis every now and then, dwelling between the haunted dreadful past and pretty soothing present.

2. The great parents who you just named, never discourage their other kids NOT to do anything in life because their brother/sister have done so and so. I can't recall Kunti telling her kids that let Arjun do everything for you, you just sit and eat on his property, well she did once, regarding Draupadi, and there we have Mahabharata 😆.

3. I can't imagine any of these great people's parents fraudulently signing papers from the star-kid to distribute the wealth amongst other kids, giving one child's hard-earned money to be distributed against everyone without the consent of the star-kid.

4. Dev had done everything Ishwari asked him to. Nothing much left for him to pay back the enormous 'favour' done to him by Ishwari (based on which Ishwari keeps sending him to guilt trips). But Ishwari's parenting is questionable when she shows zero interest in letting her son rest and enjoy life for only 15 days, something which HE was looking forward to. The selfishness is appalling. 😳

5. Ishwari has focussed solely on making Dev filthy rich and setting up his business. However, today when he is much capable of handling that on his own and can make profit, now she wants Dev to include her relative into the business, even though that might cause Dev to suffer from loss in his business. The parents of the star-achievers understand the struggle of hard work, they never believe in 'sifaarish' or reference. But Ishwari does. Being not-so-literate, she doesn't let Dev and his educated wife take decisions on HIS business, but she doesn't hesitate to take one.

Not even going to her control-freak, manipulative and irresponsible nature of again and again rejecting health, fainting, emotional dialogbaazi and guilt trips she creates all around herself. She is not wrong in making Dev a decent human being, respectful to elders etc, but she is wrong in blindfolding him and snatching away from his identity. Dev is Ishwari part 2, there is no specific character called Dev if we talk about attributes. That is why her parenting is epic-fail.🤔

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CoffeeCake

@CoffeeCake

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Posted: 8 years ago

#14

For heaven sake we desi people are no aliens, nor you videsi people are super human. How could you justify her action calling her an Indian mother? Not all Indian parents are obsessed and sexiest. Exceptional exist everywhere, not only in India . Over interfearing parents exist every where, but ishwari doesn't fall in that category.

If she was bossy like kokila modi, I can understand she wants power and higher position. But what kind of satisfaction does she get by not letting her son and DIL come close? That's not Indian parenting.

She has four kids, among all Dev is sattled and self dependent, she should care more about her other 3 kids who are not either sattled or have messed up life. But she is too much invested in bedroom life of her first kid, and doent care even her girls bring someone from street and demand to marry that person, she wont even to look at that person, let alone protest. Other side when her boy wanted to marry an educated nd self dependent girl, she consumed sleeping pills. Thats not Indian mentality.

Edited by Divine-Pearl - 8 years ago

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pkbdas61

@pkbdas61

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20

Posted: 8 years ago

#15

I think it has also got to go with the Indian socio-economic environment. I have seen parents who think that their children need to be either engineers or doctors. This is all the more emphasized in some of the southern states like Telangana and AP. Parents, no matter how poor, no matter what the aptitude levels of their offspring, no matter the emotional impact of putting their children in terrible govt hostels, want to see their children as engineers or doctors! I have seen young engineers who have percentile scores of 90 and above in engineering absolutely unfit for engineering.

The bottom line - economic upliftment. In India, the environment is not conducive for careers like teaching, social work, skill work, arts, and lack of dignity of labor. We have white collar, blue collar, pink collar, black collar and the like...

I have also seen some of such people get rich overnight, thanks to the software industry, where I find if one can spell the word - software - land themselves jobs that are high paying... such people do not even know how to use a western style toilet, do not know what it means to respect one's space and privacy... the list continues..

In these states, I have also see parents discouraging girls from studying and drilling it into their head that they are ultimately meant to be producing machines of a different kind...

I am not at all surprised at Ishwari's discriminatory upbringing of her children..

Edited by pkbdas61 - 8 years ago

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OmNaMaSteOm

@OmNaMaSteOm

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Posted: 8 years ago

#16

Originally posted by: pkbdas61
I think it has also got to go with the Indian socio-economic environment. I have seen parents who think that their children need to be either engineers or doctors. This is all the more emphasized in some of the southern states like Telangana and AP. Parents, no matter how poor, no matter what the aptitude levels of their offspring, no matter the emotional impact of putting their children in terrible govt hostels, want to see their children as engineers or doctors! I have seen young engineers who have percentile scores of 90 and above in engineering absolutely unfit for engineering.

The bottom line - economic upliftment. In India, the environment is not conducive for careers like teaching, social work, skill work, arts, and lack of dignity of labor. We have white collar, blue collar, pink collar, black collar and the like...

I have also seen some of such people get rich overnight, thanks to the software industry, where I find if one can spell the word - software - land themselves jobs that are high paying... such people do not even know how to use a western style toilet, do not know what it means to respect one's space and privacy... the list continues..

In these states, I have also see parents discouraging girls from studying and drilling it into their head that they are ultimately meant to be producing machines of a different kind...

I am not at all surprised at Ishwari's discriminatory upbringing of her children..

I would politely disagree with what you are saying slightly

I am a South Indian from Andhra Pradesh born and brought up in Mumbai (going back to Andhra Pradesh in 2018 January) - my cousins are living a normal life unlike the Dixits

There is a craze for Son - Engineers and Daughters - Doctors I accept it - the mentality exists whether its implemented is something I also dont know - I know this because I used to go for small vacations once in 2 years or so.

At the same time Daughters and Sons are allowed to make their own decisions too - its not as bad as you are making it sound.

There are lawyers, teachers, bankers etc Sons who are doctors, daughters who are engineers, all professions exist.

Please dont generalize the situation.

I have not heard of the children being forced to accept any profession they are not happy with or marriage for that mater.

@ Bold - it might be happening but not all over the state - in some places only.

I dont know about Telangana though.

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pkbdas61

@pkbdas61

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20

Posted: 8 years ago

#17

Originally posted by: OmNaMaSteOm

I would politely disagree with what you are saying slightly
I am a South Indian from Andhra Pradesh born and brought up in Mumbai (going back to Andhra Pradesh in 2018 January) - my cousins are living a normal life unlike the Dixits
There is a craze for Son - Engineers and Daughters - Doctors I accept it - the mentality exists whether its implemented is something I also dont know - I know this because I used to go for small vacations once in 2 years or so.
At the same time Daughters and Sons are allowed to make their own decisions too - its not as bad as you are making it sound.
There are lawyers, teachers, bankers etc Sons who are doctors, daughters who are engineers, all professions exist.
Please dont generalize the situation.
I have not heard of the children being forced to accept any profession they are not happy with or marriage for that mater.

@ Bold - it might be happening but not all over the state - in some places only.

I dont know about Telangana though.

I am from AP myself ( born in Kakinada and brought up in hyderabad) and have been in the start up industry and MNCs for decades. I have seen and interviewed thousands of candidates.. i have stated my experience as encountered from close quarters. i have seen girls marrying and leaving their jobs. i have seen families where parents have forced girls to drop out of college after marriage. They get married when they are in the 3rd or 4th year of engineering.. i cannot help it if you have not encountered such situations or if it does not apply to you.

i have greyed in the software / technology industry and have been in this business since 1982. if you want more information on statistics ( it is my hobby too) please PM me and i can provide you with some startling statistics.

And finally, nothing can ever be generalized, not what i say nor what you say. it is what one experiences that matters.

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ltelidevara

@ltelidevara

Sparkler

32

+ 8

Posted: 8 years ago

#18

Originally posted by: pkbdas61

I am from AP myself ( born in Kakinada and brought up in hyderabad) and have been in the start up industry and MNCs for decades. I have seen and interviewed thousands of candidates.. i have stated my experience as encountered from close quarters. i have seen girls marrying and leaving their jobs. i have seen families where parents have forced girls to drop out of college after marriage. They get married when they are in the 3rd or 4th year of engineering.. i cannot help it if you have not encountered such situations or if it does not apply to you.

i have greyed in the software / technology industry and have been in this business since 1982. if you want more information on statistics ( it is my hobby too) please PM me and i can provide you with some startling statistics.

And finally, nothing can ever be generalized, not what i say nor what you say. it is what one experiences that matters.

I am working as a lecturer in a reputed institution that has its group of colleges begining with Plus two,Graduation,post graduation,Management studies ,Engineering and Medical college. And I come across all kind of students and interact with their parents since I work as the coordinator cultural wing and Vivekananda study circle. I wrote the actual facts I observed during my interaction with students.It is ninety percent parent's choice while ten percent chose their course free of will.So I stick to my point. Indian parent mostly dictate terms in deciding the future of their children.

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_Payalj_

@_Payalj_

Voyager

17

Posted: 8 years ago

#19

Originally posted by: Pehchaan.Kaun
Great post 👏.
I agree, Indian parents are more or less like the same 🤔. However, that's why it's being asked to change their outlooks, not to mix their children's lives with theirs.

For Ishwari, however the situation is different. Her investing everything on Dev's education is not wrong, even depriving Neha from education due to shortage of money is somewhat acceptable (very difficult to accept though). But the questionable traits in her parents are below acc. to me -

1. When I see Dev, I see a toy/puppet of Ishwari. I see no identity of Dev alone. I can't distinguish Dev and Ishwari at few instances. Dev starts thinking on his own for 5 minutes, then Ishwari takes over his brain and Dev blindly follows that. The very reason he suffers from identity crisis every now and then, dwelling between the haunted dreadful past and pretty soothing present.

2. The great parents who you just named, never discourage their other kids NOT to do anything in life because their brother/sister have done so and so. I can't recall Kunti telling her kids that let Arjun do everything for you, you just sit and eat on his property, well she did once, regarding Draupadi, and there we have Mahabharata 😆.

3. I can't imagine any of these great people's parents fraudulently signing papers from the star-kid to distribute the wealth amongst other kids, giving one child's hard-earned money to be distributed against everyone without the consent of the star-kid.

4. Dev had done everything Ishwari asked him to. Nothing much left for him to pay back the enormous 'favour' done to him by Ishwari (based on which Ishwari keeps sending him to guilt trips). But Ishwari's parenting is questionable when she shows zero interest in letting her son rest and enjoy life for only 15 days, something which HE was looking forward to. The selfishness is appalling. 😳

5. Ishwari has focussed solely on making Dev filthy rich and setting up his business. However, today when he is much capable of handling that on his own and can make profit, now she wants Dev to include her relative into the business, even though that might cause Dev to suffer from loss in his business. The parents of the star-achievers understand the struggle of hard work, they never believe in 'sifaarish' or reference. But Ishwari does. Being not-so-literate, she doesn't let Dev and his educated wife take decisions on HIS business, but she doesn't hesitate to take one.

Not even going to her control-freak, manipulative and irresponsible nature of again and again rejecting health, fainting, emotional dialogbaazi and guilt trips she creates all around herself. She is not wrong in making Dev a decent human being, respectful to elders etc, but she is wrong in blindfolding him and snatching away from his identity. Dev is Ishwari part 2, there is no specific character called Dev if we talk about attributes. That is why her parenting is epic-fail.🤔

100% agree. You have perfectly articulated everything which makes one dislike Ishwari the parent

Edited by _Payalj_ - 8 years ago

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ltelidevara

@ltelidevara

Sparkler

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+ 8

Posted: 8 years ago

#20

Great post 👏.

I agree, Indian parents are more or less like the same 🤔. However, that's why it's being asked to change their outlooks, not to mix their children's lives with theirs.

For Ishwari, however the situation is different. Her investing everything on Dev's education is not wrong, even depriving Neha from education due to shortage of money is somewhat acceptable (very difficult to accept though). But the questionable traits in her parents are below acc. to me -

1. When I see Dev, I see a toy/puppet of Ishwari. I see no identity of Dev alone. I can't distinguish Dev and Ishwari at few instances. Dev starts thinking on his own for 5 minutes, then Ishwari takes over his brain and Dev blindly follows that. The very reason he suffers from identity crisis every now and then, dwelling between the haunted dreadful past and pretty soothing present.

@ I don't think Dev is a toy in Iswari's hands.If so he would never have agreed to arrange non veg in his marriage. If so he would definitely have insisted on a Punjabi marriage.If he is a puppet he wouldn't have stalked Sona against his mother's wish.He decided to go for HM without discussing with his mother.What happened latter that is another point.

2. The great parents who you just named, never discourage their other kids NOT to do anything in life because their brother/sister have done so and so. I can't recall Kunti telling her kids that let Arjun do everything for you, you just sit and eat on his property, well she did once, regarding Draupadi, and there we have Mahabharata 😆.

@ I don't think Iswari discouraged Ria when she joined Dev's company. I never saw her discourage Nikki She said work hard and you get good number. When Neha joined English classes she felt happy on seeing the change in Neha.As for eating on his property,Ria stood by herself. Nikki still has to complete her studies. Neha got married. Now she came back due to her problems. She has every right to be with Dev till she finds a solution. Siblings are meant to support each other. I don't believe in words like property,eating etc.

3. I can't imagine any of these great people's parents fraudulently signing papers from the star-kid to distribute the wealth amongst other kids, giving one child's hard-earned money to be distributed against everyone without the consent of the star-kid.

@I totally shrug off the whole Pre nup farce shown in the show.Property distribution will never happen without the presence of lawyers. If Iswari wants Dev to distribute his wealth among his sisters she .has to sit with Dev and do it as per law. Making him sign papers secretly... Is this a masala movie? To show Iswari in bad light the makers have lost their senses. If they want to show Pre nup decently they should have the guts to show it perfectly. So I will totally brush off this stupid scene. If Iswari wants her daughters to share and not her grand children isn't this against the basic fact of Prenup ie to protect children's rights??

4. Dev had done everything Ishwari asked him to. Nothing much left for him to pay back the enormous 'favour' done to him by Ishwari (based on which Ishwari keeps sending him to guilt trips). But Ishwari's parenting is questionable when she shows zero interest in letting her son rest and enjoy life for only 15 days, something which HE was looking forward to. The selfishness is appalling. 😳

@ Well.I will never measure a mother's love and decide how much he owes her back. I am sorry, I feel grateful for the very fact that my mother bore me for nine months endured labour pain and brought me into this beautiful world.Parents generally tend to say that they did so much for their children to get them their due.If Iswari doesn't want him enjoy his life she would never get him the girl he wanted.Iswari never stayed away from Dev. She felt that pain and also for Neha being at home deprived of her happiness. I feel Planning HM is not wrong but timing certainly is wrong.

5. Ishwari has focussed solely on making Dev filthy rich and setting up his business. However, today when he is much capable of handling that on his own and can make profit, now she wants Dev to include her relative into the business, even though that might cause Dev to suffer from loss in his business. The parents of the star-achievers understand the struggle of hard work, they never believe in 'sifaarish' or reference. But Ishwari does. Being not-so-literate, she doesn't let Dev and his educated wife take decisions on HIS business, but she doesn't hesitate to take one.

@ The star's lives are not as rosy as they appear to us. So many parasites will try to survive under their shade.Some times we see the stars move away from their parents due to such reasons. There are instances where the stars succumb to pressures from parents and end their lives in misery Madhubala and Savitri ,I have many examples to tell.

I blame Dev and Mamaji for Vicky's job. Mamaji who always corrects Eswari while she is wrong suddenly keeps mum when his son's issue is discussed? Can't he tell Iswari not to force Dev to entertain his useless disqualified son? Why? May be he will advise Iswari regarding Sonakshi only.

Dev never let his personal life dictate his professional life. So why can't he tell his illiterate mother that no new employee can enjoy a higher post without training and scrutiny?

Not even going to her control-freak, manipulative and irresponsible nature of again and again rejecting health, fainting, emotional dialogbaazi and guilt trips she creates all around herself. She is not wrong in making Dev a decent human being, respectful to elders etc, but she is wrong in blindfolding him and snatching away from his identity. Dev is Ishwari part 2, there is no specific character called Dev if we talk about attributes. That is why her parenting is epic-fail.🤔

@ My post is not about hundred grave mistakes of Iswari. It is about Parent's expectations towards their children. I talked about the way the parents are holding power in determining their children's future. Iswari is no exception.

Edited by ltelidevara - 8 years ago

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Iswari the Indian Parent How Wrong is she? - Page 2

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