When a marriage breaks, it's mostly never just one person's fault, although the fault might be a little less or more on one side than the other.
Believe it or not, Neha compared Ranveer with Dev in terms of success. But had she compared Ranveer in terms of nature, then she'd realize that they are very much alike.
The only difference is that Ranveer is content with his middle class life because his family is not pushing him into earning more and more money in exchange of their sacrifice and no one bothered asking Dev if he'd be happy to slow down and enjoy his success to spend more time with family since they already have more than enough to live a very comfortable life.
Did Neha do wrong with Ranveer? Yes.
But Ishwari was to be blamed then as well. She convinced Neha the glory of love and Neha deprived of love from her mother, jumped into marriage without considering the practical challenges like living a middle class life after getting used to a rich life.
On the other hand, Ranveer, like all arrogant men (including Dev), took it for granted that his wife will just be fine with any decision he took without discussing it with her because he is the man and he gets to take the decision. He should have taken into account that Neha comes from a wealthy family and has issues about middle class life. So let's clear all expectations before marriage
Also, Neha should have made it clear to Ranveer what was her expectations before marriage.
The problem is when it is love marriage, no one bothers to be clear and say it out loud about their own life goals, hopes, dreams and how they want their life to be and then get hurt when it's not like they have themselves imagined.
For example, when my now husband and I decided to get married, he wanted to take me my engagement ring shopping because I have extremely small and narrow fingers so no store-bought ring will fit me. I have to get any ring resized to my finger and because diamonds are expensive, you don't want to walk around with a loose ring on your finger nor you want to take it off because well, that's your engagement ring.
So I told him before we started the process that I want to bring my mother to Canada. He doesn't have to live under the same roof as her but I will pay for an apartment and her cost of living with my own money and he has to be okay with it. Otherwise, I won't go through this marriage.
My husband said whatever makes me happy, he will do it. So now we are discussing bringing my mother to Canada since she is retiring this year and there are no questions or what, how, why going on. Because I made myself clear before marriage.
I could have said it after marriage, but then I'd have taken away his choice to make an honest decision. In my book that's unfair.
My husband was same with me. He said before marriage that we can pay for my mother to be here. But he wants his own space. So even if we share a house, there has to be two separate living space like fully contained upstairs and downstairs. He never lived with his parents since he is 18 years old and the only other person he lived with is me. Fair enough. I had no problem with that since married couple also need their privacy as well as having her own space means my mother can invite anyone and cook anything without feeling awkward around a married couple or feeling strange.
Neha and Ranveer, Dev and Sona both couples fell in love and jumped into marriage without any discussion about future life or what do they individually and together want out of their life. Even companies ask people's long term plan before hiring and here they are signing up for life without talking about anything substantial beyond little Mr. Abhodro and little Ms.Bose. Are you kidding me?
Neha told her ex-fiance that she doesn't want to be a mother before getting engaged and the engagement broke. She was upset but not this much. Wasn't it necessary to have the same talk before marrying since this time she actually wants to go through it?
And in all this, there's interfering Ishwari who does more harm than good but tells others not to interfere... Seriously!!!
Originally posted by: Pehchaan.Kaun
This post is fantastically amazing, precisely puts forth all the points even I had in my Must Have list, with few more addition - Flexible on atheism, free-thinker liberal and last but not the list adapting to my mood swings 😆
Coming to Neha, this is really frustrating when Ishwari time and again asks Sona not to interfere but keeps shattering her happy-dreams for Neha. I am not sure if Dev yet feels the frustrating situation or not, being the selfless and guilty kind that he is, he might be upset only for Neha, not for himself or Sona. But Sona's patience surprises me.. Howmuch ever selfish I would come across, I woulf have definitely asked my husband that if Neha's life events are impacting my life, I have full right to interfere, else let's keep a distance and enjoy.
Dixits are forever in trouble because of their own wrong-doings. They can never be happy ever.
Will post once I watch the episode Tia.
Originally posted by: Pehchaan.Kaun
Ok I watched the episode now. And my old Neha is back 👏.
I am very happy that CVs didn't forget the root reason of Neha's unrest life. I just feel like giving Neha a BIG 🤗 when she was crying at her room. I thank CVs for showing guts to make Neha say those dialogs loud and clear with NO confusion for anyone to hear - yes, she wants money and luxury, that yes, she has sacrificed ENOUGH, that she does not WISH to sacrifice further.
I totally agree this is outright wrong with Ranveer. One just can't marry, squeeze and leave someone just like that. Emotional investment is lot more impactful than any other. Ranveer was indeed into this marriage emotionally. It's wrong what Neha is doing to him. But if Neha has realized that her decision to marry Ranveer was indeed a mistake, I see no point of carrying it further just to avoid the stigma of being a 'divorcee'. She can't keep Ranveer happy this way. But post divorce, I really don't want to see a hurt and upset Neha. There is no harm in wanting to have money which made you sacrifice all your dreams, but if that's what really makes you happy, then no more sulking please. I will be with Neha on this if she doesn't come back saying 'Oh no, divorce was a mistake blah blah'. Old enough to know what you 'must have'.
And one more reason which makes me happy about Neha's divorce is - Ishwari. For the sins she has committed specially towards Neha, I don't want her to forget those EVER and be in FOREVER guilt trip like today. She should feel the heat how it feels to be truly guilty, she doesn't think TWICE before sending her innocent son to take the bus to guilt-trip, I want her to feel 1000 times more guilty for the sins she has ACTUALLY done. Yes, call me selfish, but I want Neha to pay for Ishwari's karma. In reality, when a mother wrong-does her child, the child's entire life is MUCH affected. So I can't call this disaster of Neha as something very unlikely to happen. In very few cases the child can move on and shrug off her past, but in most cases this does affect them. I want Ishwari to regret each day of her life for her enormous greed to have this much money and blind partiality towards one child which came at the cost of Neha's sanity. Must be a lifetime lesson for her. May be then instead of creating problems in Dev and Sona's lives, she can focus on her own mistakes and selfishness.
Life is never too short to correct the mistakes/sins one make. It's time for Ishwari to focus on her own wrong-doings than finding faults in others. I want Neha to keep Ishwari busy so that Dev-Sona can meanwhile make a strong foundation of their marriage. And I am happy to see that they are already in level 1. 😊
Edited by tia.o - 8 years ago
Indian Idol 15
