Posted:
Today's topic is not Dev or Sona, but Neha.
Neha is forever confused, forever unhappy soul.
Nothing and no one can make her happy. Why? Because happiness lies within one self while she keeps looking for happiness in lifeless objects.
Neha expects to get every privilege, every opportunity to land in her lap because she suffered in childhood and since Dev got everything he owes her all of it.
Dev owes Neha for being the caregiver for their sisters while he got all opportunity and lion share of mother's love and care.
But even he can't make Neha happy.
He can't make Ranveer live on money he earned, Ranveer doesn't have the capability to earn as much money as Dev and Neha wants a combination of Dev's money and Ranveer's love which unfortunately she can't custom make.
If we could customise our life based on our preference then today I will be married to a Hrithik Roshan look alike, Shahrukh Khan natured (DDLJ one, not Darr one) author or poet or chef.
But I am married to a teddy bear look alike, Sheldon natured (Big Bang Theory) Engineer.
P.S. The last person on Earth I wanted to be married to was an Engineer. I just couldn't tolerate their smugness and arrogance being the Artsy-Fartsy type and often the butt of their joke regarding arts and literature.
But you know what? I could not be happier and may be if I could have custom make my life partner, today I'd be really unhappy because just like any other custom order, you didn't fall in love with the actual product, you fell in love with the IDEA of the product which may or may not match your expectations...
Sometimes in life, we want many things. But we don't know what we need until we find them. And I needed the person I am married to.
Moving on from my life, let's come back to Neha.
She expects in exchange for her hard work raising her sisters and giving up her opportunity, everything should be just a bed of roses for her from here on out.
But as I mentioned in my previous post, love, money and happiness does not come without effort. You have to work for all three.
Neha can get only one of them easily because the hard work had been already done by her for it, and that's money.
But love? Neha didn't want to do anything for it.
She loved a man who loved her back - Convenient
She wanted to get married, her family made it happen - Easy peasy
But she picked a man with a poor background who had some responsibilities just like Dev had to his family.
In middle class homes, every expense runs on priority which no one taught Neha.
Ranveer should have discussed with Neha before handing over the money to his family. He can't expect Neha to discuss where she is spending their money and how much she is giving as a gift to her family and not reciprocate. I agree with Neha on that.
But as far as we know, that's his first offence and Neha should make it very clear that she won't tolerate him taking decisions without discussing with her ever again. That's the same advice I gave Sona and the same advice I am giving Neha.
But even to warn Ranveer or give him ultimatum, she needs to talk to him.
So what Sona did today is just try to arrange that talk and remind her what she will loose if she loses Ranveer.
But there are people who'd rather cut their nose to spite their faces.
Neha is one of them.
Instead of talking to Ranveer and coming up with a solution where both could reach a mutual understanding or may be even both decide they are not suitable for each other, she decided to not only refuse to talk with him but send him divorce notice because Sona brought him home and right now in her mind, Sona wants to throw her out of Dixit house.
Neha sees everyone who doesn't nod their head on what she wants, as her enemy when she doesn't get her way.
Ranveer magnified the issue by comparing Neha with Sona which again Neha can't tolerate since right now Sona is persona non grata in her book.
As I mentioned before, Neha needed to figure out what she wants most in life and what she is willing to give up for it.
It seems that she decided that giving up Ranveer is the key to her happiness. But she will regret it. Because she made the decision without thinking or talking it over.
What it looked like to me today is a child who throws tantrum for not getting their own way and keeps pushing the people who love her to see how long they will put up with her.
All part and parcel of her experience, I don't deny that.
And if that's what she wants, she should get it with her family's support.
But then again, she can't put the responsibility for her decision on someone else.
That's the burden of adulthood. If we insist on taking our own decisions, the responsibility of the same also lies with us.
But the million dollar question is, even then, will she finally be happy? I don't think so. Because like I said, happiness lies within and Neha looked everywhere for her happiness except in her own heart.
EDITED: Sorry to all those who I hurt with Engineer comment. It was meant strictly for the men in my family (cousins) who made my life difficult growing up. Obviously my mind was changed by my Engineer husband since I married him. Really sorry if all the Engineers out there got hurt by my statement. My intention was just to show that if I was custom making my husband, I won't be as happy as I am today because he is nothing like the image in my head and neither I am the kind of person he thought he will be married to. But we found what we needed in each other and we are happier than ever.
CID
Anupamaa
Iss Pyaar Ko Kya Naam Doon
