Battles Fought and Lessons Learned

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Krishis

@Krishis

Navigator

Posted: 8 years ago

#11

Wonderful analysis👏

Whenever time permits do keep writing as everyone have a different perception.. Loved this analysis

Am one of those who are missing your analysis for each and every episode😊

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Anisa

@AnnzSageflower7

Rocker

+ 5

Posted: 8 years ago

#12

beautiful post Sam..

I've been rather tired of the drama in the forum and took a breather 😆 ..

Ive come to see retrospectively, that Marriage is not a romantic bond that sees a woman being cherished and taken care of (like some unmarried girls might think). A man would also like to be cherished and taken care of, caressed lovingly and share desire and difficulties of life.

Dev's honest happiness with Sonakshi's surprise was so nice to see. He always does things for people, and she went to all this trouble to give him this special gift. She made him important and pampered him. Only selfless love is capable of that, one that wants only Love in return equally.

If a woman can expect a man to conform and allow for her principles and independence, she must be also willing to give him that same priviledge back. A fair give and take, and acceptance of each other's peeves.

To me, that decision about Vicky shouldn't concern her at all. She courted trouble there. She doesn't have to be a bhabhi to Vicky who obviously hates her. Adjusting to a new living arrangement and new people is hard enough without assuming responsibilities.

Ishwari's jealousy has struck a nerve for me. Just watching her behaving strangely, without understanding her thought process is not helping anyone understand Ishwari's plight. it just makes everyone hate her, and people hating on mothers are a big No No.

If he makers want people to understand Ishwari, some inner thoughts scenes are needed, instead of those snarky eye rolls and millisecond smirks she has when she gets her way.

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OmNaMaSteOm

@OmNaMaSteOm

Sparkler

+ 4

Posted: 8 years ago

#13

Reading your posts and understanding it is much easier than watching the episode 😆 The episode is dramatic and your analysis is direct.

Sometimes I dont agree with your analysis but I still read it. 😛

This time around I could relate with your post and garner an understanding why Dev and Sonakshi reacted like that. Kindly make posts when possible - daily/weekly would be great. It really helps me understand the episode much better. I still fail to understand Ishwari.

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fangirl79

@fangirl79

Beginner

Posted: 8 years ago

#14

I am so glad that Sona initiated the end of their "shit we are married, now let's act married" act and now they are starting to be more of a 'couple' understanding each other's goods and bads and embracing both.

Lovely analysis Sam. Makes me so very hopeful for this show.

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Chandni Davey.

@Chandniyati

Dazzler

Posted: 8 years ago

#15

Beautiful analysis dear...

I don't ever give a thought to any negativity n so is he way to watch krpkab...

Agree to u totally...

I loved when they faught for some other reason n dev rushed to sona madly jus in fear of losing her again... this shows whatever may the reason for their fight they come to eachother jus for themselves...

They took in the incident of bose family dinner n ishwari dinner jus to highlight... that dev is also aware of his n his mother's relationship which they have lived all these years n the effect of it in ishwari... felt really good that he tried to manage the situation reasonably n come out of it... he expressed sona in minimal words that all needed is time... I don't see that their fights r solved without clearing ... instead I too felt acceptance that we respect each other's decision too..

Sona assuring him that she want to understand him b the best n she is with him always... n dev feels obliged to have chosen him by her..

I never felt the story going out of track... all these dramas r created for the stage for next.. n feel pretty sure that prenup n infertility will highlight their acceptance, trust n love built-up post marriage... each n every dialogue felt significant to me...

Thnks for Ur analysis ..

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havima

@havima

Voyager

Posted: 8 years ago

#16

Absolutely loved ur perspective nd the wonderful write up.

I was a little confused whn sona stepped back whn dev told her tht he cannot data transfer.. ur analysis cleared it.

All said nd written by the fandom about SR not meeting expectations i found it absolutely beautiful and perfect. Their relationship's stronger point was their communication nd the cv's chose their communication as the medium of mating.. yes thy mated thru their words nd gestures.once thy said i love u both of thm never uttered a word yesterday.

The physical intimacy was only the act of completion for thm.. this was a milestone episode in the show. The morning after was absolutely perfect whn the woman wakes up to find her man at peace nd contented and assures him the same fr the rest of the life.

First night mating was thru communication nd the second night was a spiced up one with childish hide nd seek foreplay.. not much words used.. for variety is the spice of life.

Continue writing as it does clears the air nd brings the much needed positivity.. cv's are doing a grt job nd am now looking fwd for the bumpy emotional ride

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dsr11

@dsr11

Rocker

+ 2

Posted: 8 years ago

#17

Originally posted by: Samanalyse
All this time, she has been reading Ishwari and Dev's bond as a threat to her own relationship with Dev, because after Dev's decision to break up in a unilateral bid for his mother's happiness, she bought into the facade of the perfect and unshakeable mother-son relationship. By revealing that all wasn't black and white, Dev showed her why his relationship with his mother, far from being a threat, was the very reason he needed her so much. And that is the precise moment I saw our beloved, self-assured and secure Sona snap back into herself, and boy was it a sight for sore eyes!

Immediately, she stopped pressing Dev for more information, stepped back and gave him what he needed most, and what Ishwari could never give him: time to be as confused and complex as he needed to be to figure out his feelings, and a safe space filled with love and positivity from which he can gather strength. I just find it beautiful that Dev created a safe space for Sona to share the feelings she was trying to suppress, and she created a safe space for him not to share the feelings he isn't yet able to understand himself. They showed an unprecedented understanding and compassion for each other in that moment, and I thought it was beautiful that that formed the prelude of their physical union. The way Sona planned the entire thing, and went out of her way to make Dev feel special and loved showed that she understood how she had hurt him by excluding him from her decisions about fitting into the household. The way Dev responded, completely absorbed in and enchanted by his beautiful, independent wife, and overwhelmed with happiness, showed that he understood just how precious she was, and why he needed her in his life.

P.S. I would love to hear all your thoughts, and I will try my best to reply, but please forgive me if I am not able to!

Yes. Loved how Sona came into her element. In another post, I was saying that Sona is also a driver along with Dev and not a passenger like others. Just like drivers take turns in maneuvering difficult roads in a long journey, Sona took her turn now as Dev is tired. Her calm assertiveness helps in dealing with Eeshwari better. If Dev is experienced in dealing with his family, she brings in fresh perspective. Dev alone wasn't coping with them very well. Sona can take off the burden of guilt that Eeshwari puts on Dev, slowly but surely, because she is ready to share it and offer help. They are a team now, not Eeshwari and Dev, because she already put herself against Dev-Sona. If Sona also puts herself against Eeshwari-Dev, then Dev is left alone. So I liked that Sona took the initiative to cement her bond with Dev. They can together deal with every problem element in the house, with more sensitivity and sensibility, as those elements are family, but without losing the sense of right and wrong. All said, Dev can't expect Sona to bear the burden of guilt along with him. He needs to come out of it soon, otherwise Sona will get tired eventually and give up. When we talk about sharing, it need not be equal always, but it must not be unfair either.

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Samanalyse

@Samanalyse

Sparkler

+ 3

Posted: 8 years ago

#18

Wow, thank you all so much for your amazing responses! Due to time constraints, I am only replying directly to the longer posts, but I really appreciate all of your feedback and encouragement! 😃

@fanktlk: I am honoured that you replied! I agree completely, both Dev and Sona ended up feeling a little bit lonely and stranded after marriage because they still hadn't recovered from the experiences of the break-up. They kept allowing their fear more space than their love, and it created a dangerous rift in communication. It was a relief to see them providing each other that much needed assurance and security. As always, they are stronger and happier together!

@sia.krpkab: Thanks! I agree, but even more than anger, I would say fear is the most dangerous enemy because it eats away at you, and skews the way you view yourself and the people around you. I am glad to have our Sona's head back on her shoulders as well, now that that cloud of fear has dissipated for the time being. And absolutely! A change of scene is always the best medicine for an overburdened mind! It was amazing to see Dev and Sona enjoy being with the Boses to the fullest this time around!

@Harryfan011: Thank you for your wonderful reply, and for landing on precisely what I was trying to do in this post! The gradual progression of Sona and Dev's relationship in the small, day-to-day lessons and adjustments, rather than grand gestures, is what I am so enjoying about the show at this stage.

@AnnzSageflower7: I know the feeling! Things can get quite heated and emotionally fraught on this forum in immediate response to characters' actions, without the bigger narrative arc in mind. Sometimes I too find it easier just to enjoy the show on its own. 😊

I absolutely love what you said about marriage. I'm not married yet myself, but what Dev and Sona have comes closest to how I envision the experience: two individuals sharing a selfless love, trying their best to work through their differences, and make each other happy on a day-to-day basis, creating a safe and positive space from which they can both derive strength, support, and joy.

One of me favourite things about their resort rendezvous was Dev's unadulterated happiness! He doesn't just appreciate her independence as an abstract quality; it's actually one of the things that makes her so perfect to him, something he desperately needs in a partner. And it's beautiful that he so appreciated her taking control, and the chance to take a breather from the constant decision-making. He doesn't need help dealing with his family (as in the Vicky situation) so much as he needs a safe space to put down his burdens and just be himself. Thats what only Sona can give him.

As for Ishwari, I do see what you mean about the viewership in general, but I am (selfishly) quite enjoying her unmasked negativity. I read it as a biting critique of the society that gives women ONE form of validation (domestic) and then expects them to relinquish that wth grace and dignity when the time comes. The first episode of the show had them moving into the new house: this was supposed to be the hour of Ishwari's glorious reign, the reward for her years of painstaking labour. She only got to enjoy it for a hot second before her entire life was thrown into utter chaos with the entry of one beautiful, intelligent, and frustratingly competent doctor! Suffice to say, she's not taking the disappointment well, though she is trying her hardest.

@OmNaMaSteOm: Thanks! Disagreement is all part of the fun :) I shared my views on Ishwari in gemini's thread, and I think I saw you there so I won't go into it too much here. Basically, her life took a drastic turn away from the predicted path when Sona walked in, and she hasn't found a way to make peace with that!

@fangirl79: Me too! And how I love watching the couple that they are. As I mentioned, watching them just hang out, talk and laugh is one of my favourite parts of the show! I have so much hope for this story and I am glad I could pass it on.

@Chandniyati: Thanks! Yes, even within the characters, I would rather look at negativity as something to be understood and dissected, rather than something to be categorically admonished. Dev is aware of his mother's issues, but he feels like it would be betrayal to articulate them.

Totally agree with you on the story and the drama. It has never disappointed me yet!

@havima: Thanks! I really loved the SR scene as well. I kept telling my mother as we were watching that the art of suggestion is so underrated. The way Dev and Sona were looking at each other left no doubt in my mind about how he felt at that moment, and I liked that they didn't give the "first time" so much weight... it happened simply and naturally as I imagine it would with two people so deeply in love and comfortable with each other.

@dsr11: Yes! Sona finally found her own steering wheel and how to use it. Dev does not need to be driven towards Ishwari... has that part covered, but every now and then he does need to be pulled out of that environment, and allowed to immerse himself in pure happiness, and that is where Sona shines. Actually, rather than expecting her to share the guilt, I think Dev is trying to hard to spare her from the trouble, thereby making her feel left out. Only if he shares his guilt, will he be able to look at it critically and begin to resist its effects.

Edited by Samanalyse - 8 years ago

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gemini54

@gemini54

Voyager

Posted: 8 years ago

#19

Originally posted by: dsr11

Yes. Loved how Sona came into her element. In another post, I was saying that Sona is also a driver along with Dev and not a passenger like others. Just like drivers take turns in maneuvering difficult roads in a long journey, Sona took her turn now as Dev is tired. Her calm assertiveness helps in dealing with Eeshwari better. If Dev is experienced in dealing with his family, she brings in fresh perspective. Dev alone wasn't coping with them very well. Sona can take off the burden of guilt that Eeshwari puts on Dev, slowly but surely, because she is ready to share it and offer help. They are a team now, not Eeshwari and Dev, because she already put herself against Dev-Sona. If Sona also puts herself against Eeshwari-Dev, then Dev is left alone. So I liked that Sona took the initiative to cement her bond with Dev. They can together deal with every problem element in the house, with more sensitivity and sensibility, as those elements are family, but without losing the sense of right and wrong. All said, Dev can't expect Sona to bear the burden of guilt along with him. He needs to come out of it soon, otherwise Sona will get tired eventually and give up. When we talk about sharing, it need not be equal always, but it must not be unfair either.

I read this part of Sam analyses and it kind of makes some sense to me. However, Dsr point on both Dev and Sona being the drivers on this journey hit the nail on the head. Life especially marriage there is and shouldn't be one driver always manning the road the husband and wife takes turns in it and it always is not 50/50 as it is made out to be because some roads may have a lot of curves that one driver is more adept at driving on and there maybe night driving that the other driver is good at.

Here my only hope is that they show it sensitively. In my opinion in this show they are yet to show it in a way that an audience like me can understand it without having a Sam making us open our eyes to it and I absolutely love it that Sam is able to do it.

Thanks for this discussion.

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dsr11

@dsr11

Rocker

+ 2

Posted: 8 years ago

#20

@samanalyse

Though Dev tries to keep her away from his burdens, Sona being his wife will always suffer his guilt ridden decisions, because she is his wife. He cannot have Sona to just spend some happy times and ignore all the goings on in that household. Tomorrow he is going to be guilty of being happy when hIs sister is suffering and he will cancel their honeymoon, which involves Sona's happiness. If he keeps on denying himself happiness for everyone in that family, he is also denying Sona of simple pleasures in life and that's going to take a toll on her. Nobody can continue to give without getting any reciprocation. Dev needs to stop making decisions out of guilt.

Edited by dsr11 - 8 years ago

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