OS: A page from Sona's diary!

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Push-pull

@Push-pull

Sparkler

Posted: 8 years ago

I know I shouldn't have fallen in love with you, Dev... But my stupid heart has fallen hard.. too hard for you with no way to return... And many things happened which broke us apart... Broke me into pieces in the process... I'm still trying hard to pick the pieces of me to put together and trying to find myself... only to see that you are still there in me... How can I move on.. when I am still in love with you... And how can I get to you when I am still hating myself for just being there not moving even an inch away from you...

I have really loved you with all my heart with no thought about myself or anyone else, including my family... I wouldn't deny that that feeling was pure bliss and still fresh in my memory... But now all I feel is more of a burden... all those memories coming back driving my guilt to edge... When so many other thoughts are lingering around how can I say I love you like before?

Once upon a time when all the flaws in us made us accept each other as is, now they make me question you? When all I can think is how those flaws have come down to hurt us.. hurt our relationship, all I have left is a big disappointment.. Disappointment in myself for being so stupid to not able to love, no matter what you are or to be out of love, for whatever happened...

I have been growing strong and strong because I know my weaknesses... I fall too fast... Crash too hard... forgive too easy... and care too much... And the worst part is I don't want any of that to happen now... Let me be weak because I've no more strength to change my weakness into my strengths...

May be today you need me as much as I need you... And you are free of any burden to go for your need... But I'm loaded with burden not wanting to go for my need... We've screwed it all up enough, Dev... Because the day you want me, is the day I'm wanting to give up!!!

I blame you for everything because deep inside I know that my love for you is still not fading and waiting to be revived inspite of all that happened... All I'm trying is to understand everything... When sometimes it is not meant to be understood... all I have to do is just accept and accept it for what it is... But I don't want to accept it... Yes... I love you... I still love you... But that's my problem... See... I see that as my problem... Do you know what it means when one sees their love as a problem... You sure know it, Dev... Because you did see our love as a problem when you had to see your dear maa giving up her life for that...

Now we know that we love each other... And also know that it's not enough for us to be with each other... Let us not be together to see our love dying in front of our eyes, Dev... Let us be real with each other and let's just leave each other alone... To be In love, forever ❤️!!!

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randommusings

@randommusings

Sparkler

Posted: 8 years ago

Great post dear...👏 how beautifully u have penned down Sona's thoughts.

Sona knows she still loves Dev but now it hurts to see herself so weak. Even though she is strong, she knows she still won't be able to see Dev suffering. She is afraid she might again go back to his arms without a care for anyone n she hates herself for still loving him so much. Yesterday's episode she told Dev she will not give him power to hurt her...but the first thing she does is cry her heart out.

I have been thinking on similar lines...now when Dev n Sona will get back together will their love remain the same. Will they ever completely forget all their bad things and move on? Will they be able to accept each other flaws like before. Can Sona respect Dev like before?

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Push-pull

@Push-pull

Sparkler

Posted: 8 years ago

Originally posted by: randommusings
Great post dear...👏 how beautifully u have penned down Sona's thoughts.
Sona knows she still loves Dev but now it hurts to see herself so weak. Even though she is strong, she knows she still won't be able to see Dev suffering. She is afraid she might again go back to his arms without a care for anyone n she hates herself for still loving him so much. Yesterday's episode she told Dev she will not give him power to hurt her...but the first thing she does is cry her heart out.

I have been thinking on similar lines...now when Dev n Sona will get back together will their love remain the same. Will they ever completely forget all their bad things and move on? Will they be able to accept each other flaws like before. Can Sona respect Dev like before?

😳 Thanks dear... Sona still has a long way to go to realize her own feelings... I know mind won't work when heart takes the control... But she being the practically sensible woman, can't ignore many facts being thrown at her face... She gotta take a pause, think deep... She has to keep herself intact because she has to know that she's all by herself and her decisions are HER decisions... Nothing NOTHING can change her life except for HERSELF!!!! And I really don't want her to get into the self-pity mode... NOBODY is pushing her into things... ALL she has to do is THINK and FEEL on her own and own her decisions...

And in real life, I don't see a thing like everything goes back to older days... Only a newer form of days.. better or best, it's upto individual's state of mind... But onscreen they can throw anything on us... 😉😆

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Binzzz

@Binzzz

Rocker

+ 2

Posted: 8 years ago

awesome dear...
beautifully penned Sona's emotions👏
loved it...

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Shaun

@Jade0001

Inactive

+ 2

Posted: 8 years ago

Wow you writer Sona's inner feelings so brilliantly, it's true in relationships it's 90% it we guys messing up taking our girl for granted not realizing with love respect and communication is also needed, in Sona's case Dev made his decision but it was her that suffered more because of her she even gave importance to his mother before her parents .

I know Dev was in terrible pain but he only realized life without her she realized a lot and saying it's best to stay away and always still have that love is right

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Push-pull

@Push-pull

Sparkler

Posted: 8 years ago

Originally posted by: binuuu
awesome dear...
beautifully penned Sona's emotions👏
loved it...

😳 "Being Sona" gives me a different kinda feel though it's difficult to be and survive like her... 😉😃

If it's in my capacity I would carry her far away from all this emotional turmoil, keep her protective elsewhere, if only she wants to 😉... She didn't go with Ritik... Why will she come with me... 😆

I miss the simple old Sona... She's a lost girl now... 🤗