Part One
"I never thought our Sona would do something like this, Asha! My flesh and blood betrayed me. My pride betrayed me. Aur jab apne hi hume dhokha dete haina Asha, toh bahut dard hota hain. Bahut dard."
Sonakshi couldn't shut out those words of her baba. She probably would never be able to forget them as long as she lived. Her baba was ashamed of her. Of what she did. Because of her, her family was looked down, talked down. People were calling. Wanting to know what was going on. Wanting all the gory details. They were surrounding her family with morbid fascination, like people milling around an accident victim, clicking pictures and taking videos. That was the society she lived in. A middle class family like hers can't live in isolation. Cannot NOT care about what friends and family think. But Mr Dev Dixit doesn't care about people and society, does he? As long as his maa was happy, he gave a hoot to the rest of the world. He was the one who had come. He was the one who got drunk. He was the one who lost control and created a scene. And she was the dumb idiot who ran to him, breaking her engagement, her family's trust and Ritwik's heart, a cold logic inside her quietly inserted.
Striding towards her cabin the next evening, she swiped an angry hand over her eyes, cursing their dampness. Oh she was the idiot, alright! But no more. Fine. Yes. She has disappointed her parents and family yet again. She lied to them about being ready to move on. It didn't matter that she had been lying to herself too about her ability to move on. A lie was a lie. But she would make things right. She wouldn't hide. She would face the world head-on. If anyone wanted to talk, they can talk on her face. She caused her parents so much pain. So now SHE would stand between the world and her parents. She would protect them as best as she knew how to. If people wanted to sling mud, she should be the one getting hit. Not her parents. Not her family. She just wished she had spared Ritwik. Another guilt for her to live with, she thought. OK. She would live with it. She had made a start too. She had come to work that morning and faced her colleagues and their questions. She would get through the day and the next and the next. Things would get better. Straightening her slumped shoulders once again, slipping on her professional persona, she pushed open her cabin door and came face to face with the last person she'd been expecting or wanting to lay her eyes on. Mr Dev Dixit.
"Mr Dixit?"
Dev looked at her. Like he wanted to grab her. Like he wanted to hide her in himself. His eyes devoured her. The alcohol haze of the previous night nowhere to be seen. If he had a hangover, he hid it well. "Hi," he said tentatively. And he smiled. Goddammit! Her world was falling apart and he stood there smiling?
"You? What are you doing here?" Wordlessly, he extended the huge bunch of flowers. "Seriously? You are actually here to give me flowers?"
"Yes. No. I mean yes." The savvy businessman fumbled. "I have come to apologize. For everything that I did yesterday. I shouldn't have gotten drunk. I shouldn't have lost control like that. I'm sorry Sonakshi." He plunged ahead without giving her a chance to respond. "I'm sorry for creating a scene like that but I'm not sorry that your engagement broke. You don't love him. You never loved him. You loved me. You still love me." One step and it brought him right in front of her. Close. So close. Close enough to lose himself in her unblinking, deep eyes. "I missed you Sonakshi. I missed so much. And now...now all our problems are solved." His smile widened. Glowed. "I came to tell you that maa has accepted our relationship. She wants me to marry you. In fact, she has ordered me to marry you and bring you home as her bahu." The light in his eyes turned brighter. "I couldn't believe it, you know? I just couldn't...I thought I lost my reason for living when you left me Sonakshi. I didn't want to live. I really didn't."
"Mr Dixit..."
"But I never told maa anything. Not a word. But she understood. She understood my pain. She realized what I was going through and today morning she said I am to bring you home as her bahu. She is at the moment waiting for us Sonakshi. With aarti ki thaal in her hand, she is waiting for her beta and her bahu. All our problems are solved Sonakshi. I swear, now I have you back in my life, I won't ever need anything else." His smile slipped a little as her lack of reaction finally registered. She was just looking at him. Hands folded. A complete bland expression on her face. "Are-are you not happy Sonakshi? Oh, yeah. I get it. It's such a big news, na. It'll take time for you to digest. Not easy, is it? But trust me..."
Something snapped in her at those last words. "Get out!"
Dev didn't understand. A bewildered frown replaced the smile. "What?"
"I said get out of my office! Who the hell are you to barge in here and talk to me this way, huh? What do you think of yourself Mr Dixit?"
Dev caught her arm as she moved towards her chair. She shoved him away. "Don't. Touch. Me," she gritted.
"Wait. You don't understand. I came here to tell you that our problems are solved. We need never be separated ever again. Maa has accepted... She understands that I truly love you. And she really is waiting for her bahu..." Dev broke off as he saw something he'd never before seen on Sona's face. Sarcasm. Derision. And she was clapping.
"Fantastic Mr Dixit. Awesome! Just awesome! Hearty congratulations. So, when and where is the party?"
"Sonakshi...what..."
"Let's take a quick recap, shall we? Your mom has accepted. Your mom is waiting for her bahu. Your mom can't see you in pain. Your mom wants you to get married. And where am I in all this? Nowhere! That's where! Just get out, Mr Dixit, I don't want to even look at your face ever again."
Dev shook his head. Despair once again creeping in on his budding joy. No. He pushed it away. He wouldn't let it take over him again. He has his Sona in his life now. She loved him. Loves him. She does. Yes, she does.
"Sonakshi, listen. I know a lot has happened. I know I hurt you a lot. And I apologize. I am sorry for every single thing I said and did to cause you pain. I got no joy out of any of this, Sonakshi," he implored, his eyes darkening in pain as he thought of the past few weeks of his life. Hell. That was the only way he could describe. A living hell. He didn't want to go there anymore. "Trust me. It hurt me as much as it hurt..."
"Trust you?" She shouted, cutting him off. "Trust you, Mr Dixit? You got to be kidding me! Why the hell would I even want to trust you? After everything that happened? After what you put me and my family through? You made promises. You broke every single one of them in one shot."
"I know Sonakshi and..."
"No. You've said enough, Mr Dixit. Now I talk and you listen. Not one word out of your mouth. Not. One. Word." It was her turn to take a step towards him. Until they faced each other like adversaries. One roiling in fury while the other implored for peace. "You gave up on me and my love at the first sign of a hurdle. You didn't even try to fight for it. For us. You kicked me out of your life. Then you stalked me. You intruded into my professional life. You butted into my personal life. You refused to let go of me yet refused to stay with me. You almost destroyed Ritkwik's career just because he was brave enough, strong enough to reach out to me. You weren't happy with all that, were you? You made me invite you for my engagement saying it would help you move on. And when I did invite, what did you do? You got rip-roaring drunk and created a scene."
"Sonakshi, I never meant to..."
"I am not done yet Mr Dixit!" She swiped her hand in a slashing motion, cutting through his explanation. "Your idiocy is the reason my engagement got canceled. And now here you are, talking about your mom accepting your relationship. Your mom's word means the world to you. You can't stand to let her down. You can't see disappointment in her eyes. What about me, Mr Dixit? What about my parents? Can you imagine what they are going through at this moment because of what you did last night? The kind of gossip that is surrounding our family? The mud-slinging that goes on in the society? No. You don't. I bet you never once thought of any of that. It's always about you. You and your mom. Me and my family don't even fit into the equation. Like your mom, even my baba wanted to see me happy. Like you, even I wanted to make my maa and baba happy and proud." The bright sheen of tears fought with the anger in her eyes. "But I failed, Mr Dixit. Because of you, I ended up causing them so much pain and disappointment that I hate myself right now." She fought the tears and won. Barely. But it cost her. The fury left her too. Leaving her drained. And tired. Just so very tired. "I don't have to put myself through anymore of this. Please leave, Mr Dixit."
"Sona..." his palm reached out to cup her cheek.
"Just leave," she said in a dead tone. She gave him two seconds to leave. He didn't. He just stood there, as if rooted to the spot. Her lifeless tone hitting him harder than her fury. Grabbing her bag, she slung it over her shoulder and walked out.
****
If Sonakshi was expecting some peace once she reached home, she wasn't going to get it. The first face she saw when she stepped into her home was once again the last face she had expected or wanted to see. Mrs Ishwari Dixit. And it looked like she'd been there for quite some time but was on her way out. Her baba looked angry, her maa looked worried, darting frequent glances between Ishwari aunty and her baba. All Sonakshi could do was stand there and stare at them all.
Ishwari noticed her presence and walked up to her. "How are you Sonakshi beta?"
Sonakshi nodded like a doll. What was she supposed to say? She didn't know.
"Aap jaa rahi thi na?" Bijoy inserted before Ishwari could add more.
"Bijoy!" Asha gently rebuked.
Ishwari smiled at Sonakshi and placed her palm on Sona's head. "Khush raho." And walked out of the house. Sonakshi heard the sound of the car backing out and slowly fading away.
"Ishwari ji came here to talk about you and Dev babu," Asha softly imparted the information. "She requested us to accept the alliance."
"I told her before too, even if she came to my house, begging to accept her son for Sona, I would refuse. And now look," Bijoy growled, pacing in the hall.
"Bijoy! Santa ha o!" Calm down! Asha was gentle but firm, her eyes still on her daughter. "What is going on Sona?"
Sonakshi shrugged. It didn't take rocket science to figure out what was going on. "I don't know maa. Probably auntyji saw Dev last night. The way he was, the way he was talking...maybe she changed her mind after that. She loves her son a lot maa. There was never any question about that. Auntyji is probably willing to step down for her son's sake."
"I am going to tell her that she need not step down for anybody. No one here is begging her for anything!"
"Bijoy, you heard what Ishwari ji said. She came and she apologized. To both of us. She humbly requested us to think about our children and their happiness. I know you are angry but she is probably right in a way. What has happened, has happened. What are we going to get by raking up the past again and again? We need to put our anger and hurt aside and think about the future of our kids."
Bijoy looked like he wanted to argue but one more imploring glance from his wife silenced him effectively. Sonakshi picked up her bag and made her way up to her room.
"Shona, what are you thinking?" Asha's question gave her a pause.
"I don't know maa. I'm just...tired. I need a break." Swallowing, she continued, "I know it can't make up for the past but all I can say is I am sorry. I am sorry for letting you and baba down. I am sure for being such a disappointment. And I am sorrier than I can say for hurting you all the way I did."
Bijoy was a hurt, angry father. But he wasn't made of stone. It was tough to hear that kind of pain and guilt in his daughter's voice and remain unmoved by it.
****
"Neha di, guess what, guess what, guess what!" Nikki screeched into the phone, making Neha wince and move the phone away from her ear to save her eardrum.
"Calm down Nikki. And no, I can't guess. So you better tell me what has got you so excited. Ordered another new phone for yourself?"
"Arre no di. Today morning maa called us all to the hall and announced that Dev bhaiya should get married to Sona di."
"Wh-what?" Neha choked on the tea she'd been sipping, making Ranveer tsk and pat her back.
"Yes di!" Nikki continued joyfully. "Maa wants bhaiya to bring Sona di as her bahu ASAP. Bhai went to talk to Sona di now. How awesome na! Now bhai will start smiling again. Bhai is going to be happy again!"
"Yeah," Neha too smiled. She didn't know what made her mom change her mind so drastically but she was glad that things were finally working out for her brother. Her Dev bhaiya deserved to be happy. "I'll ask Ranveer to drop me at bhai's office. I know bhai. He won't say anything. Left to him, he is not going to give us any treat. I'll go and demand one from him."
This time Riya's squeals joined Nikki's. "You can't exclude us from the celebration Neha di. We want a treat too."
"Of course. I'll go there and message you. Teek hain?"
"Pick a nice place di. It's been so long since we had some good time with bhai," Riya added, her mind going to back to the night after Neha's bidai, when their brother had cheered them up with ice cream.
"Will do. Bye."
****
Neha smiled warmly at Tina. "Bhai is busy?"
Tina smiled back. "No ma'am. He came in a few minutes back and told me to hold all his calls and cancel his meetings. Shall I tell him you are here?"
"No. I'll just go and surprise him." With a grin, she soundlessly opened the door. Her eyes searched for her brother and found him facing away from her, his chair facing the wall. "Started daydreaming already bhai?" she asked, entering the cabin fully and closing the door behind her.
Dev swirled his chair towards his sister and got up with a smile and open arms. "Arre Neha, when did you come? And how come here? Any problem? If it is, you would tell me, right?"
"Bhai, relax, relax. I don't have any problem. Nikki and Riya told me that maa has accepted yours and Sonakshi's relationship. So I thought I'll come and ask you for a treat." Dev tried to smile. He really did. But he was never good at putting up a false front. "What happened bhai? I thought you would be happy." He didn't answer. "Did you meet Sonakshi?" A reluctant nod was his answer. "What did she say? Wasn't she happy with the news?" He shook his head and turned away, fiddling with the paperweight on his table. "What did she say? Did she ask you for more time?"
"Why does she need more time? She loves me, I love her and now maa has accepted too. I hurt her a lot when I broke up with her. I accept that," he continued hastily, as if he just wanted to get the words out. "I apologized too."
"It's not just about the break-up, is it bhai? It's about trust. Maa didn't like Sonakshi so you broke her trust in you. She trusted you with her heart. Now you are asking her to do it again."
"She thinks I would break her heart again?" His smile was full of self-derision. "Last time it almost killed me. She thinks I would do something like that again?"
"Why did you break up with Sonakshi bhai?"
"You know why," he muttered, looking away.
"Indulge me."
"Maa didn't like Sonakshi."
"Why did you go back to her now?"
He swallowed. "Maa accepted. But Neha, if maa had said something to me, I would've talked to her. I would've tried to convince her, show her how happy I was with Sonakshi..."
Neha calmly inserted her next question. "What if maa changes her mind again after a few days? What will you do bhai? Leave Sonakshi again?"
Dev paled at the thought. Leave Sonakshi? Again? No! Damn no! He would rather die than let her go. He might as well dig a knife through his chest and finish himself off. At least that would be merciful way of dying. "I can't. I can't let her go. Not again," he didn't know whether he was talking to Neha or to himself. "But she doesn't know. Sonakshi would think I would leave her again. And now her family is involved too. She wants to protect them, just like I wanted to protect maa. They've already been through so much. All because of me. I hurt her. I hurt them. Worse, I came across like I didn't care that I hurt them."
"Bhai, love can withstand a lot of things but trust? Once the trust is broken, it takes time to rebuild it."
Dev nodded, swiping a rough hand across his face. "Sonakshi loves me. But she is scared. Scared of getting hurt again. It's not anger. It's fear. She doesn't trust me anymore. If I want her back, I need to win her trust."
Neha smiled.
Thank you all for reading. Do let me know your thoughts. I will be waiting.
Love,
Suvika.
Link for Part Two:
Cricket
Chakravarti Samrat Prithviraj Chauhan
Mangal Lakshmi
