Stuck (16/8)

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Anisa

@AnnzSageflower7

Rocker

+ 5

Posted: 9 years ago

Stuck .

Utterly stuck.

I feel bad for all nice guys like Dev, who try their very best to please everyone. But end up in the most unpleasant stuck situations that they don't deserve.

What hasn't Dev done for his mother and sisters? He's got a lifelong debt of gratitude that he will happily pay back til the day he dies. He's successful and honest too.

Why is he undeserving of romantic love? Is his servitude and worship not enough for Ishwari? Why does he not deserve some heart to heart talk, from his mother. Son, I am unsure about Sonakshi for you as a wife. Maybe I need some more time?

Why can't she communicate? She communicated to Bijoy Bose very well in complicated speak on how she accepts Sonakshi. In fact in her roundabout manner, she sent strong vibes of dissent to Bijoy that the whole family felt too.

But Dev is the typical man. Cannot accept anything against his mother. So many sons are like this. Daughters too! Someone says something negative against your parents and we jump up to defend them. Totally normal. Both Dev and Sonakshi defended each others' families in that one conversation.

If Dev was curt about Sonakshi criticizing his mother as disapproving, then Sonakshi was just as abrasive when he criticized the Boses for being oversensitive. Sonakshi was trying really hard to win his mother over and failing. Her family came to meet and Ishwari was polite, but cold and non-committal.

And Dev gets right to the bottom of the issue. Tries to force an answer out of Ishwari and gets a Yes. Not the reluctance , the hesitance, the anxiety behind the answer. he got his Yes, and he runs to celebrate with Sonakshi.

Poor chap wants it so badly he is missing a lot around him. No one is happy for him at home. Contrastingly, Sonakshi's family is very happy for her but they are not blindly so, thankfully.

I'm so happy to see a father like Bijoy Bose. I wish he could have a heart to heart with the poor tortured soul Dev, give him some perspective, man to man. Bijoy is very sensible, always looking out for the best for his daughter. He knows Sona is not seeing Dev's riches, as she's earning herself. But people see it differently, Sonakshi will be marrying into a higher status, and there are people who have issues with that. Namely two grumpy old women in Dixit house.

Dev is very naive. He just came straight and announced to Sonakshi all is well and made her so happy. For him life is simple. I work hard, I am honest. I try my best, take care of ma and sisters. I love Sonakshi, I want my family to love her like I do. If she has worries I will try to make them go away. I want everyone to be happy. And I want to be happy like this with all of them.

Poor chap. He's just trying his best.

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404_NotFound

@404_NotFound

Sparkler

+ 7

Posted: 9 years ago

Very well written post...agree with you completely. ..

Dev is a straightforward guy..even during the phone conversation he was looking for logical reasons why his mom is not happy ...he doesn't understand relations are complex and not everyone is as straightforward as him ...I expected more maturity from Sona there ..instead of getting offended wish she had stated what happened between her and his mom...Dev would have listened instead it became my father vs your mother saga...

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Anisa

@AnnzSageflower7

Rocker

+ 5

Posted: 9 years ago

Originally posted by: yyy
Very well written post...agree with you completely. ..
Dev is a straightforward guy..even during the phone conversation he was looking for logical reasons why his mom is not happy ...he doesn't understand relations are complex and not everyone is as straightforward as him ...I expected more maturity from Sona there ..instead of getting offended wish she had stated what happened between her and his mom...Dev would have listened instead it became my father vs your mother saga...

I know right? But maybe a little anxiety has crept into Sonakshi's heart as well.

Bijoy put forward iron strong proof that the vibe he's getting is Ishwari does not approve of their relationship, and she should rethink this relationship again. That is pretty frightening to hear from your cool and loving Dad. Because she got the logic behind it, it rearranged all her own troubles with Ishwari in perspective, and it made her scared.

That's why she called Dev immediately without thinking. He picked up and she says , never mind I'll talk to you tomorrow. Of course Dev would dig it out from her. And then due to lack of thinking through and anxiety levels, she blurted out that he does not see what she sees. And he refuses to see her perspective.

Which is true. He is blind to what his mother is going through. He only wants to see what he wants. Himself being with Sonakshi, Ma will be happy as I am.

I agree she should have calmly spoken to him the next day. But things were already going to change the next day...

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gemini54

@gemini54

Voyager

Posted: 9 years ago

Healthy Relationships are two way streets. I agree that Sona has always been the emotionally mature one but when you are in a healthy relationship the emotionally mature one sometimes acts immature and vice versa. Even though Dev is a great guy the always knee jerk reactions when it comes to Sona 's concerns is very disturbing and not a sign Of a healthy relationship it shows a certain immaturity and for my part the way CV are showing the breakup is leaving a bad taste in the mouth. Sorry if I offended anyone just my thought

Edited by gemini54 - 9 years ago

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Anisa

@AnnzSageflower7

Rocker

+ 5

Posted: 9 years ago

Originally posted by: gemini54
Healthy Relationships are two way streets. I agree that Sona has always been the emotionally mature one but when you are in a healthy relationship the emotionally immature one sometimes acts immature and vice versa. Even though Dev is a great guy the always knee jerk reactions when it comes to Sona 's concerns is very disturbing and not a sign Of a healthy relationship it shows a certain immaturity and for my part the way CV are showing the breakup is leaving a bad taste in the mouth. Sorry if I offended anyone just my thought

No offense taken 😉..

It is terrible. To fall in love, get your love requited, but then Ma says "No, you can't marry her, I don't like her. She's not good for you. " I mean Tu bacha hai kya?

Worse is when Ma harms herself because she's so upset that you want to marry the girl you love. We're talking guilt trips of a lifetime here. Emotional blackmailing. She pushed Dev into a tight corner there.

Would one expect him to abandon his mother and still marry Sonakshi after she tried to take her life over the issue? I don't like it too, but he can't see his mother miserable and be happy. Realistically, I could see him break up with Sonakshi, but never marry at all. Even when his mother eventually comes around to asking him to.

Have you seen this Malayalam movie called Ennu Ninte Moideen? Lovely depiction of love denied by family issues. The two stay in love but apart in such a heartbreaking way. (I'm not Malayalee, watched with subs 😉)

but think of it this way. If Dev forced his way and married Sonakshi anyway, would either Sonakshi or Ishwari be happy?

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gemini54

@gemini54

Voyager

Posted: 9 years ago

@TM I like your way of thinking and I am not asking Dev to abandon his mother while she is dying for the love he has for Sona because the guilt alone will strain their relationship but what I am saying is when you have made promises that you cannot keep there is a better way to end than what is depicted here or atleast what the promo is showing.

It is is almost in my opinion disrespectful to the relationship you are in. This show struck some personal chords with me and hence these strong views after all we do form opinions based on our life experiences.

Thanks for aiding a healthy discussion appreciate it. Re the Malayalam movie I am partly Malayali will watch it

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Anisa

@AnnzSageflower7

Rocker

+ 5

Posted: 9 years ago

Originally posted by: gemini54
@TM I like your way of thinking and I am not asking Dev to abandon his mother while she is dying for the love he has for Sona because the guilt alone will strain their relationship but what I am saying is when you have made promises that you cannot keep there is a better way to end than what is depicted here or atleast what the promo is showing.
It is is almost in my opinion disrespectful to the relationship you are in. This show struck some personal chords with me and hence these strong views after all we do form opinions based on our life experiences.

Thanks for aiding a healthy discussion appreciate it. Re the Malayalam movie I am partly Malayali will watch it

True.. it was a little histrionic the way he was ranting that it's their fault his mother took this step, and that there was only one thing left to do- break up. .

But it was a promo. .. let's hope it doesn't actually play out like that...

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Shona456

@Shona456

Beginner

Posted: 9 years ago

Yaa..he is simple nd thinks life to b simple!! Wants to happy nd want to make everybdy around him happy!! Poor chap!! Reali immature sona behaved!!

Originally posted by: yyy
Very well written post...agree with you completely. ..
Dev is a straightforward guy..even during the phone conversation he was looking for logical reasons why his mom is not happy ...he doesn't understand relations are complex and not everyone is as straightforward as him ...I expected more maturity from Sona there ..instead of getting offended wish she had stated what happened between her and his mom...Dev would have listened instead it became my father vs your mother saga...

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